So a couple of weeks ago my friend went on a date with a doctor. He asked her out to a nice restaurant here in town. Things were going really well. And then it happened. The check came. The doctor looked at the ticket, looked at my friend, and then said, "Halfsies?"
Good thing this dude didn't ask me out, or he would have gotten "the look." Here is a sample being used on Cousin Swiss Mister after he said I was dressed trashy.
Now, mind you, I can't seem to find anyone to even take me to dinner, much less do appropriate things while there, so I really probably shouldn't be complaining, but....well.....why else do I have a blog? Maybe I should write a book on advice for boys....I've done this topic once before on the blog. I would also include chapters on not mentioning your baby mamas (yes plural) and actually calling them that in the same conversation where you ask a girl out. And never ordering lettuce wraps when the girl ordered a steak. But I digress...
Anyway, after hearing my friend's story, I stumbled upon a survey on the internet. Apparely 49% of men think that the man should pay for the first date. WHAT!?! This menas that 51%, or the majority, or MOST men do not.
Understand that I'm an independent girl. I'm all for women's rights and equal treatment and what not. I grew up in a family that didn't care if I was a girl---I was expected to help brand cattle and haul hay and feed ewes just like my brother. I have a good job (one that until a few decades ago women weren't allowed to have), I have my own house, and I can may for my own freakin' dinner.
HOWEVER.....the point here is that I want a guy who WANTS to pay for my dinner on the first date. It's a sign of respect. And chivalry. And being a gentleman. And I don't see any reason why those things and women being equal can't coexist.
And don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying a guy should always pay. If there are more than one date (which, by the way there will NOT be if anyone pulls "halfsies" on me), I think that the girl should pay for her share of the dates. I am not saying that the poor guy's wallet should be like an ATM machine.
But what I am saying is this. Bottom line: Boys, listen up....on a first date.....you pay for dinner. And open my car door for good measure. Sheesh.
(photo via)Am I crazy here? (This is really a rhetorical question, because I already checked with Cousin Kevin and he agrees, and the two of us are never wrong.) Thoughts on this halfsies phenomenon?
Oh, and just so you know how the story ends.....my friend paid her half. Then the doctor had a chance to redeem himself when they went for ice cream. Did he buy hers? Nope. Did she see him again? Nope. Coincidence? Nope.
12 comments:
Um.....NOT OK. You're right, the best guys are the ones who WANT to pay! Halfies smavshies.
I love this quote! Umm...halfies...ya,I don't think so. He's a doctor for crying out loud, can he not afford one dinner? I think guys our age have forgotten how a gentlemen treats a lady. Common chivalry goes a long way. My 18 year old brother opens doors for girls, says yes ma'am and pays for his big sisters dinner if we go eat somewhere. That's how a gentleman is supposed to act.
BOKG
Soapbox now over : )
Halfsies - Really?? I wouldn't care if the guy was a doctor or not, that isn't cool. When did guys stop thinking that they dont have to pay for the date?
I hope that all the money that guy saves in going halfsies on dates compensates for the loss of all the great girls who never go halfsies with his cheapness again.
-College Roomie
Oh Tiffany...this had me rolling. Seriously "Halfsies"??? Doctor Dumbass...you asked HER out, not the other way around. I might be a bit more sympathetic if it were a "lets get together" kind of date but ... dude, you do not ask someone out and then go on the cheap and say "halfsies". Enjoy that $$ while you are sitting alone watching tv wondering WHY you don't have a date next Saturday.
All you young girls can use me as a source - I've been on about 9,000 dates, and I've determined that the guys who want to split the check are just testing the waters to see if you'll demand to be treated with some respect. Those guys have never worked out for me. I really like the guys who very jokingly say, "I'm a total dweeb about dating. . .but I'm doing my best, and I'd really like to do whatever it is to get to know you better." You want a guy with heart, a guy who pays attention, and a guy who has a sense of humor about how dating is fraught with all sorts of land mines. Great post Tiff, and I agree with you on all points. (By the way, my sweet man of about 2.5 years still insists that it's his job to pay for dinner 90% of the time. That's why he's still here. . .)
Fool, he is. I will always offer to pay for half, but if it's a first date they have no shot of a second if they take me up on it. Not gonna lie, I find guys even worse in Alberta. Time to move back south, I think.
Awesome post, Tiff. I love that last paragraph.
Hey, I came across your blog through mutual friends and get a kick out of reading it every time. Love this topic!
The thing about the man picking up the cheque on a first date isn't about the money. It’s what him paying 'means' to us. It lets a girl know that he thinks we are special, that we are worth his hard earned money and that we are worth being treated as such. And it shows us that he is the type of man that is going to be willing and able to take care of us. Then, on date 2 when we, being the independent, giving women that we are, offer to split the bill or to treat them, they can appreciate our independence and can be man enough to accept it. That’s a keeper!! One that’ll support me when I need it, but that lets me support him too!
Great blog!
Never mind that he won't pay for dinner, I don't think I could date someone who used the word "halfsies" :P
Halfsies.. I can't believe he even said that word! But besides his questionable choice in vocabulary I definitely think guys should pay on the first date.
If you date half a man, expect to pay half the ticket. It's simple really...so there.
In my opinion the guy should always pay on the first date. I understand that a lot of people are short on money right now, so if the guy can't afford a nice dinner he should take you on a fun date that doesn't cost money, not make you pay. I've taken a break from dating because I think I would flip out if I went out with another jerk-where are the normal people?!
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