Y'all. Texans know how to throw a wedding. This weekend I was in the Big D to be a bridesmaid while my best friend from law school, Brett-Brett, married Miss Texas. They do things bigger in Texas, including weddings apparently!
|Me and Brett-Brett|
As usually happens with me, things got interesting in the travel department. (Remember the recent emergency landing and almost-hijacking?) Well this time it was a crazy cab driver. I get in and it's a woman driving who has not shaved her legs in like months and is barefoot. Ok.... I tell her to take me to a coffee shop, like a Starbucks, so I can use free internet while I wait for my ride. She says, "And you want me to just like, leave you there?" Um....since you are a cab driver, yes. Yes I do. After we got that straight, I asked if there was a Panera because I'd rather go there. She says, "Let me check my Gammin" (she apparently could not say GARMIN). Then she tells me the Gammin is named Robert after her ex husband because they were both so difficult. Ok.... She plugs in the address for Panrea and Robert says, "turn right in one mile" and then "turn right in 1/2 mile" and the crazy lady says, "Robert, you are so single minded, just like when we were looking at buying that house!" Ok.... By some miracle I made it out of the crazy cab alive. Just another chapter for my book.
Friday night was the rehearsal where we practiced the art of standing in a certain spot, walking slow, and generally not embarassing the bride and groom. Not rocket science. Then we hopped on a bus to head for steaks at J.R.'s, where I proceeded to stuff my face. So good! We capped off the night with a little dancing at The Glass Cactus, a club at the resort we were staying at in Grapevine.
And then it was the big day. I started off with a 2.5 mile run with the wedding coordinator. At dinner the night before we were complaining about how much we ate and she mentioned she was going to run in the morning and offered to let me join her. It was not fun getting up early, but I sure felt better afterwards. I also learned that the wedding coordinator has lost 85 pounds in the last year doing Jenny Craig and running. She showed me a picture, it was like a different person. Talk about motivation!
And then it was time to head to the bridal suite to get ready for the day. Where we spent the next 8 hours. Holy crap....it was a lot of stress, estrogen and hairspray in that room! But everyone wound up looking beautiful and the mimosas helped to calm the nerves.
Then it was time for the big ceremony....and it was beautiful. A friend of Brett-Brett's who played football at UCLA with his older brother performed the ceremony and did a great job. It was short and simple, but really beautiful and heartfelt. I'll have to do another blog when the professional photos come back....we took one really great group shot that I think is going to be awesome! We took pictures for what felt like hours and finally hit the reception, which had the two requirements to make a great wedding: good food and dancing.
Best parts of the food were the mashed potato bar--I double fisted it and had regular potatos with sour cream, bacon and cheese and sweet potatoes with cinnamon butter and pecans. Heaven in my mouth. And to follow up all that goodness, they had cotton candy in martini glasses (you'll see the picture below). It was awesome.
And then it was time to dance off some of the calories we had just inhaled. I love weddings where they play tons of fun music and everyone just dances with everyone else. It was an absolute blast! There was even the Jewish traditional dance where we all looked confused going in a circle (except for Brett-Brett's family who led the way) and the dance where they put the bride and groom up on chairs and toted them around the dance floor. They may or may not have dropped Brett-Brett. More than once. It was also during this time when the bride's mom introduced me to a little drink called a strawberry balsalmic martini. Oh my gosh.....y'all must try one. No lie!
At the end of the night during the last song, the groom was running all over the dance floor to tell everyone to go to the sports bar at the resort. No need to end a good party! So we all headed over there and hung out for a while and I let some of the groomsmen convince me to eat pizza at 3 in the morning. Not a good plan...I still feel sick!
Now, because I'm a poor planner, I had to get a flight back home at 9:30 in the morning. Note the reference to pizza at 3 am above and you'll see the problem here. So I show up at the airport wearin basketball shorts and an old OSU t-shirt, the remnants of my bridesmaid hair, big sunglasses and carrying the biggest bottle of water I could buy. It was a hot mess situation for sure. I get on the plane and hear, "Our flight time to Lubbock is one hour."
Small problem. I don't live in Lubbock. So I have a total home alone moment where I realize I must be on the wrong plane. After some intense questioning, I find out that the plane is going to the right place, but just making a stop in Lubbock. (Need to do a better job of advertising that, Southwest!)
When we landed there, the nice guy next to me points to the seatback pocket where he had the barf bag hanging out and says, "I had this ready for you just in case. Looks like you had a fun night." I assured him I was not as bad off as I looked. Then while we were waiting for the new people to board, the flight attendant taps me on the shoulder and says, "Here are some pretzels, honey, I thought you might could use them. Bridesmaid?" I said yes and took the pretzels. Then the guy who sat next to me for this flight offers me a breakfast burrito and says, "It might help." By this point, I'm thinking to myself, "Just how bad DO I look!?" I texted the story to a couple of my friends. The Godfather says, "Maybe you just look sweet and helpless." Blonde Oklahoma Girl says, "You must look hungry and homeless." I figure neither was good!
So anyway to sum up my weekend...crazy cab driver, way too much food and drink, a beautiful wedding, lots of dancing, and looking like a sweet, helpless, hungry, homeless person o the flight back. I call that a successful weekend. Congratulations to Brett-Brett and Miss Texas, and thank you both for letting me be part of your big day!