College Roomie called me one night over the weekend. 2 1/2 hours later, our conversation ended when one (or both) of us fell asleep. Mind you, we talk by phone, text or email I would say at least 5 times a day. I think this is how you know someone is your best friend.
Anyway.....to the point of the blog. One of our conversations was about finances and marriage. (Ironic since neither of us is expecting a ring anytime soon....but we're planners, you know!) So we discussed the the complicated, un-fun stuff.....pre-nups, buying houses, etc. Then she brought up an issue I had never even thought of before. Joint v. separate checking accounts.
Turns out College Roomie is in favor of having separate accounts (with a joint as well). I have to be honest--I had never heard of this before and I was amazed! I had a million questions on how that works. College Roomie was amazed at the fact I was not a separate account person. Her theory was that people who get married when they are a little older and who are very independent are into separate accounts. I blew that theory for her.
I knew that there were two people I needed to talk to about this. One is my marriage advisor, The Bride. She and The Groom seem to have everything figured out, so I knew she would have info on this subject. Turns out, they have a joint and separate accounts. The separate accounts are sort of like an allowance---she spends hers on shoes and girls nights, he spends his on golf and video games. I had no idea.
The second person is Cousin Kevin. I almost hate to admit this for fear I'll never hear the end of it, but just about every issue that comes up in my life is taken to Cousin Kevin. That guy is smart, and I feel like we're on the same wavelength about things. Anyway, he was also in favor of separate accounts. Which is ironic because he also said that pre-nups "feel wrong" and that it seems like marriage should be "all in." (I guess "all in" doesn't mean joint checking).
Anyway, because marriage is clearly not anywhere in the immediate future (thanks to getting NO suggestions from any of you after the Most Elligible Bachelor blog), I don't suppose this is an issue that I need to resolve right away. But maybe it's like the farmer who puts the rain gauge out in the middle of a drought believin the rain will come. Perhaps this issue is my rain gauge for Mr. Right. Or perhaps not. But I would love to hear your thoughts and have your input! I am a planner you know!
3 comments:
Glad I could provide some info! And love that I've been named the official 'marriage advisor'... awesome.
Okay, as you know BBoy and I got married last year.
We have separate bank accounts, okay, well actually I have 3 but that's besides the point..... and we have a joint saving account. My reasoning was this: Since our incomes are on totally opposite sides of the spectrum, I thought it be best to keep them separate so that if one person spends the other is not pissed off. I don't feel like he's spending my money and he doesn't feel like i'm spending his. I didn't want anyone to tell me that i couldn't spend $200 on a pair of shoes, if I really wanted it. I work hard for my money and so does he.
We pay 1/2'ers on all the bills except for our own items like car insurance (we don't have a joint one because we were only going to save like $30), credit cards (we have separate ones as well).
Our joint savings account is matched dollar for dollar. So if I put 50 in there so does he, just helps keep it straight and neither one of us feels like we're putting more into the financial aspect of our relationship than the other. Its a 50/50 partnership. Now I must add though when times are tough either one of us will throw the other some money. But as to the items on paper we split everything 50/50.
Seems to work for us.
Kristin---this really should come as no suprise to you! :)
Anonmyous--thank you so much for sharing! I have realized that this is an issue that I will probably need to put some though into before I get married. I was completely oblivious to it even being an issue until last week! Thanks for your input!
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