Well since my blog about an outsider's thoughts on childbirth was such a hit, I figured I might turn this "Thoughts from an Outsider" thing into a series on my little ol' blog here. Today's topic: wedding dress shopping.
Don't adjust your browser or go looking back through archived posts. I'm not the shopper---I'm the outsider. Last week I went with my future sister-in-law to try on some dresses.
1. All the crap you see on tv really happens. I wasn't expecting too much drama. I mean, this is David's Bridal in New Mexico, not Kleinfelds for crying out loud. Apparently that doesn't matter.
As I walked up to the store, I heard some chick yelling at her apparent fiance on the phone. (This corresponds nicely with the thought I have every single time I watch Say Yes to the Dress on tv, "HOW is someone marrying her and I'm sitting here alone eating popcorn for dinner in my sweatpants?").
Next, I walk inside and see one girl surrounded with who I can only assume is everyone related to her in any way, shape or form including her long lost 15th cousin. Do you really need THAT many opinions?
Finally, I found a crier. There had to be one, right? It was this chick--just before I snapped the picture she was fanning her face saying, "I swore I wouldn't cry." Unreal.
2. Are they serious with these bridesmaid dresses? Look, okay, I've seen 27 dresses. Shoot, I think I may be living it myself. But never in my life had I seen so many HIDEOUS dresses in one store. Who would actually buy these and what exactly is their wedding theme? And now, some samples for your viewing pleasure.
3. Prices. Okay, now I know that I'm cheap. I know, I know, I know. But when the future sister-in-law picked up a little flower clip for her hair and it cost $97, I almost had a heart attack right there. How can they get away with putting hte word "wedding" in front of it and multiplying the cost of something 10 times? And this headpiece didn't even contain the "fishnet" that Little Cowboy insists his mom wear because it's cool.
4. Sizes. Look, people. Most girls are not a size 4 or a size 18. Why would you only have dreses in those sizes? Apparently so people can awkwardly try and decide if their boobs actually will fall out of the dress, and walk around with big ol' honkin vice grips on their backs while trying to look lady like and make the three other women with them fan their faces to hide the tears that will no doubt come.
5. I really hope blogs like this don't jinx me. I really do want to get married one day. And I'll even bring everyone I know to the store and wear the vice grips. Regardless of the nonsense and expense of it all, there really is something sort of magical about the perfect white dress. Of course, I can't show you the dress that was decided upon, but here are a few fun snapshots.
Don't adjust your browser or go looking back through archived posts. I'm not the shopper---I'm the outsider. Last week I went with my future sister-in-law to try on some dresses.1. All the crap you see on tv really happens. I wasn't expecting too much drama. I mean, this is David's Bridal in New Mexico, not Kleinfelds for crying out loud. Apparently that doesn't matter.As I walked up to the store, I heard some chick yelling at her apparent fiance on the phone. (This corresponds nicely with the thought I have every single time I watch Say Yes to the Dress on tv, "HOW is someone marrying her and I'm sitting here alone eating popcorn for dinner in my sweatpants?").
Next, I walk inside and see one girl surrounded with who I can only assume is everyone related to her in any way, shape or form including her long lost 15th cousin. Do you really need THAT many opinions?
Finally, I found a crier. There had to be one, right? It was this chick--just before I snapped the picture she was fanning her face saying, "I swore I wouldn't cry." Unreal.
2. Are they serious with these bridesmaid dresses? Look, okay, I've seen 27 dresses. Shoot, I think I may be living it myself. But never in my life had I seen so many HIDEOUS dresses in one store. Who would actually buy these and what exactly is their wedding theme? And now, some samples for your viewing pleasure.3. Prices. Okay, now I know that I'm cheap. I know, I know, I know. But when the future sister-in-law picked up a little flower clip for her hair and it cost $97, I almost had a heart attack right there. How can they get away with putting hte word "wedding" in front of it and multiplying the cost of something 10 times? And this headpiece didn't even contain the "fishnet" that Little Cowboy insists his mom wear because it's cool.4. Sizes. Look, people. Most girls are not a size 4 or a size 18. Why would you only have dreses in those sizes? Apparently so people can awkwardly try and decide if their boobs actually will fall out of the dress, and walk around with big ol' honkin vice grips on their backs while trying to look lady like and make the three other women with them fan their faces to hide the tears that will no doubt come.
5. I really hope blogs like this don't jinx me. I really do want to get married one day. And I'll even bring everyone I know to the store and wear the vice grips. Regardless of the nonsense and expense of it all, there really is something sort of magical about the perfect white dress. Of course, I can't show you the dress that was decided upon, but here are a few fun snapshots.
7 comments:
Love this! I just want you to be prepared, because I will be a crier. I am sure you already know this,ha!
BOKG
I really had my heart set on that multi-colored dress with the yellow tulle skirt. Does this mean you don't want to be a bridesmaid if I get married? Would you prefer leopard print? Because that really suits my personality anyway.
-College Roomie
This made me laugh out loud! Thanks for writing this post :) As someone who is very close to the Wedding Scene I love to hear that perspective! I thought I was the only one who noticed these things lol!
I love it... the more I think and look... the more I feel all this might be a touch over rated. I always thought getting hitched on the concrete catwalk that went over the Yards at Denver would be neat.
-Micca
Those bridesmaids dresses are horrendous!
Love this post! Pretty sure you just summarized all of my feelings I have been having over the last month since I've been engaged. Seriously they tried to sell me an overpriced headpiece to. I have been watching online for a good deal on one of those and shoes. Really they OVERPRICE everything when the word wedding is included!! All in all sounds like you enjoyed your wedding shopping :) You will make a beautiful bride and I will be crying during your ceremony be prepared my friend!
~LOKG
Love this! I was amazed at how many brides thought they had found the dress to hear their friends or worse mothers tear it apart. Let your future sisterinlaw know that much of what you find in stores you can find on Etsy. The veil I tried on was $400, I found the exact same thing on Etsy for $45, and I couldn't be happier. Hope you are doing fantastic.
www.crystalcattle.com
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