Throwback Thursday # 30: Welcome Home

"Stillwater has a population of thousands, but is home to millions!"

It's been a while since I've done a good ol' "Stillwater is the happiest place on Earth" blog.....so it's definitely time! This Monday was the first week of school for the lucky folks still attending at OSU.

On the OSU facebook page (you know I'm a fan!) the message was simple. It said "Happy first day of class Cowboys and Cowgirls! Welcome home!"

I thought this was perfect. When you go to OSU, Stillwater really is home (I've discussed this before as well). There is just something about that town......it's the energy in the air and the school spirit and everyone and everything being decked out in orange. It's the friendly people who always smile and say hello whether you are walking across Library Lawn, running around Boomer Lake, or stumbling home from the Strip. It's the way that everyone is part of something, no matter how different their backgrounds---ag kids and band members and football players and math nerds and theater majors and future business owners and fashion design girls and computer geeks---they may not have anything else in common except for being Cowboys, but that's enough.

And the best part of OSU....it's not just home for the four years you are there. It's home forever. And I think it's this way for everyone, no matter the stage of life they are in. From babies like little linebacker, to crazy college students like my friends and I used to be, to twenty-something alumni who trek back for football gmaes, to the amazingly wonderful people in my church small group.....Stillwater is home.

The kids who walked onto campus for the first time on Monday are joining something special. Stillwater is where the heart is. Stillwater will always be home.

(Apparently Not) Forever 21

"Are we getting wiser, or just older?" ~ Carrie, SATC

I think I'm getting old. College Roomie and I went into the new Forever 21 store here a month or so ago to check it out. I didn't have a notebook to write down all of our comments, but here's a little taste for you.....

Me: "Does this music have to be SO loud?"
CR: "Huh? I can't hear you over the music that's bursting my ear drum!"

Me: "Do you think this is a shirt or a dress? How is it possible I have to ask this question?"

CR: "Who can actually fit into this?"

Me: "Is there anything in here I could wear to the office?"

And that's when I realized....I'm apparently not going to be forever 21. And forever apparently ended last month! Sign me up for those old lady shoes with the elastic on them and break out the mumu...

Your Wish Is My Command

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." ~Ben Stein

I'm super excited about today's blog. Those of you who were tired of Eat Pray Love week will probably not be. BUT....it's not my fault. You can blame Texas Lawyer and Coach A for their request.

Total sidenote here....I love knowing that people read my blog. Because I'm computer illitergate I can't figure out how to do the analytics to see how many people read it or from where, so please SIGN UP TO BE A FOLLOWER on the right hand side of the page under the music, make comments on the post or email me or facebook me with comments or requests. If you request a blog, I'll get right on it!

Anyway, Texas Lawyer and Coach A both wanted me to do a blog about people's words for themselves. I'll explain....in Eat Pray Love, while Julia Roberts is in Italy, her friends are discussing different words for cities that they have lived in. For example, they decided that the word for Rome was "sex" and the word for New York City was "achieve" and the word so on. When I think of a word for a city, I can't help but think of San Francisco (which is of course my favorite city...not to be confused with my love for Stillwater which is not a city in my book) and I'd say it's word is "free" because people are free to do and think and believe whatever they want there.


Then the conversation in the movie switched to words about themselves. Julia Roberts said that her word was "writer." But her friends shot her down and said that was wrong--being a writer was what she did, not who she was. She spent the whole movie trying to figure out her word. What was she? Who was she? In the end, she decided her word was "attraversiamo" which is Italian for "Let's cross over."

I've written before about using one word to describe ourselves, but the movie went further---more than describing yourself, it was about a word that told who you were. One word to describe your entire being. There's a lot of pressure on a person when she's trying to answer that question.

Not only do you have to figure out what word is yours, but then I think you also have to think about what word you WANT to be. Are we the people we want to be? Or are we at least doing somethin to move towards being those people? I sure hope that I'm moving towards being a good word in my life....

Oh, and to thank the ladies for suggesting this blog, I'll pick words for both of you as a thank you. For Texas Lawyer, I would suggest "dreamer." You have made a lot of changes and moves all to follow your dreams. For Coach A, I would pick strength. You've been through a lot and I think you're stronger than you even realize.

So...what's one word that would describe you? (YOU---this means to post a comment with the word below!!)

Postcards from Heaven

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” ~Eskimo Legend

I recently read a great book by Dan Gordon called Postcards from Heaven. I'd totally recommend it---super short, easy read. The book is made up of stories from the author's life. Each story is about a different person who he has lost--his father, his grandmother, his mother, his son. He talks about their lives, their deaths, and how he believes that these people have sent him what he calls "postcards from heaven."


Here is his description:

"Nearly all of us either have had or have heard of an experience in which a soul already departed reaches back to those of us who have been left behind in this world with a reassuring touch. Sometimes it's no more than a whisper, a familiar smell in the air, or just the feeling of presence as vivid as when the loved on was still alive. These moments are just that...moments, a glimpse behind the veil; not a letter from heaven, but a postcard...."

I absolutely loved this idea! Think about it....when you've lost someone you love, how many times have you heard a song that reminds you of them out of the blue, or smelled their cologne or perfume, or randomly ran into someone who knew that person. I know that these things have happened to me more than once and I can't tell you how touching it is.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, and I'm not going to get all sad and serious on the blog. I've said before, there are some things that are just too important for the blog. But I will tell you a couple of stories that are a little lighter and illustrate the point.

The first occurred in an airport line in New York City. I was flying back home from vacation and we were waiting in what seemed to be an un-ending security line at LaGuardia. I was wearing a t-shirt from the memorial roping that is held every year for my little brother's best friend who passed away in 2004 (you've read about him briefly before). The shirt had a picture of him on it. A woman standing a few people behind me came up and said, "I know that boy."

Now, it was early in the morning and I was worn out from running all over the Big Apple, but I was pretty sure this woman was crazy. I told her she must be mistaken because he was from New Mexico. She said, "I know. He was a cowboy and he was killed in a drinking and driving accident. I saw it on tv." And then she said his name. Okay--I was convinced! She had seen a program that his family was on for MADD about drinking and driving. Now what were the odds that two years after he died, I would wear that shirt on that day and be in that line near that woman who had watched that program. Probably not very likely....a postcard.

Another happened not too long ago. You've read before about First Valentine. Well, in the 5th grade, we had a talent show at school. It's funny, because I don't remember what anyone else did in the talent show at all....but I remember him singing a Joe Diffie song, "Junior's In Love" (by the way, I still think it's a great song so you should check it out on iTunes!). Because we're talking circa 1994, I remember having the cassette tape with this song on it and listening to it on my walkman. Sigh. The good ol' days!

Anyway.....several months ago I had gone out one Friday night with some friends. Afterwards, we all piled into one of my friend's truck and headed to get some food. He turned on his cd player and what came on but "Junior's In Love." I hadn't heard that song in years and I certainly would not have thought it was on a cd.....but there it was blaring on the stereo. With a few tears in my eyes, I told him that he'd need to play it one more time, and that we'd all need to sing along. Another postcard.

These and other postcard type experiences have meant a lot to me in my life. Believing that our loved ones are in a better place is a hope that I am so grateful to have, and one that I don't know how I could live without.

So, look around you. Pay attention. You might just have a postcard with your name on it....

EPL # 5: YOU Can Change Your Life

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

So to finish off Eat Pray Love week, I decided to try and sum up the whole point of the book/movie. In one word. Ironically, I pick a word that is not even in the title. I think the point is LIVE.

Let me explain. I think to do that, we start at the beginning. Julia Roberts is lying on the floor of her bathroom. She's lost and miserable and alone and weeping. And you know what she did? She got off the floor and changed her life.

Too often, we decide that we are somehow stuck in a place or a job or a relationship or a situation. When I hear people complain about how bad their lives are and how much they hate living where they are living or whatever it is and I just want to shake them! If you're not happy with your life, THEN CHANGE IT.

We're lucky that we live in a society where we can make these changes. There are some countries in the world where a person can't change their life. They do not have the options. They have no opportunity to be whatever they want to be, they have no money to go where they want to go, and so on and so on.

Think about Tulsi in Eat Pray Love. Julia Roberts befriends her as she is being forced into an arranged marriage. Tulsi is devastated. She wants to travel and see the world and go to school and be something different and marry someone who she falls in love with. But she can't. She doesn't have the option to change her life.

I'm not saying you should leave your spouse, quit your job and run off to jet-set around the world for a year. Most people probably do not need to take that drastic of a step in order to change their lives. (Not to mention most of us can't afford it....I read that Elizabeth Gilbert footed the bill from the advance for the book....).

But you can do something to change your life. If you hate your job, look for a new one. If you don't like where you live, move. If you have a friend or a boyfriend or whatever who is dragging you down, ditch them. If you need to take a vacation and lay on the beach for a week, book the trip.

We've only got one shot at this life thing. What a waste it is to spend our time hating what we're doing. We are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to change our lives today. That's the message of Eat Pray Love. If I had written the book, I would have added my word: Eat Pray Love LIVE. Go put it into action. Go LIVE!

EPL #4: Swim Swim Swim!

"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles overcome whilst trying to succeed." ~ Booker T. Washington

And now for Day 4, Richard from Texas strikes again. Julia Roberts was at the (I just realized I don't know what it was called.....I should have paid more attention in philosophy class in college) place in India where she studied meditation. She was sulking and complaining about how she didn't feel spiritual and she was having a difficult time.

Richard looked at her and said, "If you want to get to the castle, you have to swim through the moat."

I think that's something it's pretty easy to forget in life. Sometimes we feel like we should have the things we want right now......but guess what? Life doesn't owe us anything. We (and by we I mean most people...clearly there are exceptions....think Paris Hilton) have to work in order to end up where we want to be.

Take Cousin Kevin for example. It's easy for me to sit here at twenty something and envy Cousin Kevin. See, his life consists basically of him sitting on his porch, drinking a beer, smoking meat and watching his cows in the field. (Okay, MAYBE it's not quite that luxurious....but whatever). I would LOVE for that to be my life---the thought of not having to put on my heels and sit in front of a computer all day, but instead to be outside with my own animals on my own land all day? That would be the castle for me!

But....what I sometimes forget is that Cousin Kevin isn't twenty something. He's old. And when he was twenty something, he was working his butt off....not sitting on the front porch. He paid his dues....he swam through the moat. As much as I would like to fast forward to the castle, the moat has to come first.

So....I figure we might as well make the best of it. So I'm doing my best to enjoy my swim in the moat, while still having big dreams about reaching that castle!

EPL #3: A Happy Liver

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet." ~James Openheim

Today's story comes from page 231 of the book (I sound like a kindergarten teacher!). In the movie, Julia Roberts is discussing her daily ritual with Ketut. She explains that she gets up, then mediates, and then she comes to see Ketut. He makes a couple of subtle changes. One of those changes is to her meditation.

He says that the meditation she learned in India is fine, but it's too serious. So after she does her serious meditation, then she should meditate while smiling. And then he tells her to "Even smile in your liver!"


You know, I think there is something to that. Think about those people who you know that are always happy. They are always smiling and cheerful and genuinely seem to be in a good mood and to love their lives. I bet it's because they smile in their livers.

I love happy people. And I think for the most part I am one.....don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't have my moments......I'm saying for the most part. I've always been someone who makes the best out of the situations that I end up in. I think for some people this comes naturally. For others, I think that it might take a little more work.

I think the idea of trying to smile while you are doing something else is probably a great way to cultivate more happiness in your life. Now, I'm no meditator. When I go to hot yoga and the make me lay still at the end of class my mind goes 100 miles an hour and I cannot wait for someone else to move so that I can get up and get going! And I'm also not a morning person. Whatsoever. I have it down to a science how late I can stay in bed and still make it out the door to work in time. So....you're not going to be reading anytime soon about me sitting around in the mornings smiling with my liver.

Instead, I'm going to just try and smile more throughout my day---be it sitting in my office or when I'm walking around the office, when I'm at the gym and even when I'm talking on the phone. My good friend Robyn recently wrote a book that will be out sometime soon (don't worry....you'll all know when it's available!) and she explains that you can tell when someone is smiling even on the other end of the phone. This simple act can brighten the day of the person on the other end of the call, and will probably brighten yours as well!

So.....Ketut says to smile with our livers. And I'm going to listen to anyone who is 109 years old. Or 65. He can't remember. :)

(photo courtesy Oprah.com)

EPL #2: Head or Heart?

"And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, evolve some distant day into the answer." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

At the beginning of Eat Pray Love (page 27), Ketut, the medicine man from Bali, gives Elizabeth the drawing of a prophesy for her life. It is of a being that has no head. Instead, the eyes are located in the chest area. The reason for this, he explained is, "you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."


This completely contradicts another quote that I read a while back. That quote is, "If any part of your uncertainty, is a conflict between your heart and your mind - follow your mind."

Now.....my question for today is....which one is it? Should a girl follow her heart or her head?
I've realized in the last week or so, that this comes up more often than a person thinks. Apparently it's not just in movies! People in real life (not me...so don't start emailing me and quizzing me about this) sometimes have to pick between the guy who is right in their head and the guy who is right in their heart. People in real life sometimes have to pick between the job their head says to take and the job their heart says to take. The list goes on and on. At some point, I venture to say that all of us have to make a decision between following our heads and our hearts at least once in our lives. How do we choose?

In the fairytale/romantic comedy world, the girl almost always goes with her heart. (Reese Witherspoon always chooses Jake instead of Andrew in Sweet Home Alabama.) But sometimes the people in movies do the wrong thing in my book. (You may remember a prior mention of my refusal to accept the ending of My Best Friend's wedding.)

I think that we like the romantic notion that we find in following our hearts. But in real life, is this as good of an idea? Sometimes, should the more practical voice win out sometimes? Maybe this is one of those questions that you can't answer until you're in the situation. Maybe the answer depends on the situation you are in. Maybe there is no answer.

As shocking as this is, I don't know my opinion on the subject. As cute as Ketut is in the movie, he hasn't sold me on the "follow your heart" theme. I have no answer to all the sentences above that begin with question marks. But I'm interested to know what everyone thinks on this issue.

Should we follow our head, or our heart?

(photo courtesy blogz.org)

EPL #1: A Destiny of Love

"An act of love, a voluntary taking on oneself of some of the pain of the world, increases the courage and love and hope of all." ~ Dorothy Day

Here goes Eat Pray Love week!

In the movie (and in the book on page 149 for those of you who want to follow along and see more context), Richard from Texas befriends Elizabeth Gilbert (who he calls "Groceries" because she eats more than anyone he's ever seen) while they are both studying meditation in India. One day, they are discussing Elizabeth's struggles and pain and her broken heart. She laments over the fact that she truly loved her ex husband.

Richard looks at her and says, "Groceries, I think you have the capacity to love the whole world. It's your destiny."

I loved the idea of this the moment the words came out of his mouth. What a beautiful thought---that someone could have enough love inside them to love the whole world. And that something this amazing could be a person's destiny.

This isn't some new idea....this is exactly the destiny that Jesus calls us to. He explains that there are three things that last forever: faith, hope and love. Of these, love is the greatest. (1 Cor. 13:13) He instructs us to love our neighbor as ourselves. (Matthew 22:36-40)

I think that sometimes, we are selfish with love. We think of the world "love" and our minds go directly to Mr. Right and our beautiful wedding dress and happily ever after. I blame society for putting all of this pressure on people about marriage and "falling in love." But what if, instead of just focusing on one person when we think about love, we focused on the world?

After that line, I feel the need for some disclaimers to keep the phone calls and emails at bay. First off, I'm not talking about polygamy....I can see a few of my friends hearing me talk about not focusing on loving one person and picturing me living in the mountains with a guy who has three wives. Not the point, people, not the point. Second, I'm not saying that we should not fall madly in love with Mr. Right (goodness knows I plan to when he finds his way out of the forest) and have the beautiful wedding dress and happy ever after.

What I'm saying is.....what if we have even MORE love to give? What if within us, we have the capacity to show love to the whole world? How different would our lives be if we accepted this challenge? How different would the world be?

We can make small changes in this direction. Speak to people in the elevator. Smile at someone when you pass them on the street. Volunteer for causes that are close to your heart. Send your friends a card or a quick phone call to let them know you are thinking about them. Pray for the people in the world who are hurting. All of us have the ability to do this type of things in our lives every single day.

I like to think that Richard from Texas was onto something. That maybe we all have the capacity to love the whole world. Think of the kind of place the world would be if that really is our destiny.

Eat Pray Love Week

"I want to go some place where I can marvel at something!" ~Julia Roberts, Eat Pray Love

So I don't blog on the weekends, but I wanted to let everyone know that it's going to be Eat Pray Love week! I loved the book by Elizabeth Gilbert after I read it years ago. I feared that the movie wouldn't live up to my expectations.....but with Julia Roberts....I should have known better! The movie was fantastic and gave me several blog ideas.

So get ready--this is going to be Eat Pray Love Week!