Top Two Tuesdays: Relationships

"If something is not happening for you, it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It means you're not ready for it."

Today I'm linking up to a new theme that my dear friend the Blonde Oklahoma Girl does every Tuesday....Top Two Tuesdays. The theme this week is "Two things you've learned about relationships."

I read this and thought, "Oh great......I love reminders that I have nothing to say about relationships because I am not in one. Thank you, universe.' So, I've decided to modify a little bit. I am going to give you the top two things I've learned about NOT being in a relationship.

1. You have to figure out what situations to avoid.

Let me explain--I'm usually a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of girl. I always try to make the best out of every situation and have a good time. But I've learned that there are just a few situations that I have to be careful about putting myself into, because I'll end up feeling sad if I do.

For example, I go to a LOT of weddings and always have a blast! Send me with a group of friends or my crazy fun family, and I will have the time of my life. But I've learned that I can't be the only person at a wedding without a date. It makes me sad. So....I have to either find a date, or find someone else to go stag with me. Fortuantely, I have some great people in my life who serve as excellent wedding dates.....you see my favorite below....BFF's little brother! :)

Similarly, I love hanging out with my friends who are in relationships. I'm sort of the perpetual third wheel. I'm lucky because they are awesome and try to make sure I'm included. Dinner, movies, dancing, ball games....all of those are good. But one situation I don't let myself get into is game night. It's no fun being the only person without a partner and sitting around watching everyone else all cozied up with their significant other. (Shockingly the only third wheel picture I could find quickly was one of College Roomie and her college boyfriend.....no one panic, she is still dating McCain! No rumors starting here!)

So, because I am aware that these type of situations only hurt me, I have learned to just not put myself in them. I think that this is an important thing to learn about yourself. If we each determine happiness for ourselves, I think that knowing what is harmful for us is just as important (or maybe more important) than knowing what makes us happy. I think that this is critical for single girls to figure out about themselves and to put into action in their own lives.

2. It's important to get to know yourself.

I feel so lucky that I've had the time in my twenties to figure out who I am, and what I want, and where I'm going. I think that being able to have some alone time, outside of a relationship, has been key for me to figure these things out about myself. I look back to who I was when I was 18, 19, 20, 21.......and I just realize that I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. I've learned so much about myself and about life and had so many experiences that have shaped me since that time. If i had not been fortunate enough to have these experiences, I would be a completely different (and wrong!) person. (The picture is a classic example of this....my summer living in San Francisco....read about that here)! And I look back at the boys who I thought I wanted when I was at those ages......good grief....thank the Lord that he doesn't give me what I think I want. I am so glad that He is in control and I am just in the passenger seat because I would have slammed this vehicle into a lot of walls had it been up to me!

Bottom line is this......I am happy that I have had the time to learn things about not being in a relationship. I think that learning these lessons is what is going to make me ready for the right relationship when it appears. Hopefully at some point I'll find Mr. Right (anyone seen him??) and be able to answer the actual question that was asked today (and put up my billboard). Stay tuned....