Happiness Project Month 2: Improving Marriage

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” ~Stacy Charter

I've finished up the second month of my Happiness Project. As I mentioned previously, the author, Gretchen Rubin's, second month was dedicted to increasing the happiness in her marriage. I don't have one of those, so I had to improvise.

I decided this month's project would be to do something totally for myself. I thought about different things that I could do that would make me happy, and settled on.....drumroll please.....

Golf Lessons!

Now, you have to understand a few things.

First off, my only golf experience has been with BFF and one of the Animal House boys from college. We would go to the driving range, or to the cheap golf course in Stillwater and play periodically. They are both pretty decent, I was just starting. So, they "helped" me learn. I distinctly remember BFF screaming at me one day and saying, "Tiffany, you're just swinging like a girl!" I threw down the club and yelled back, "BFF, I AM A GIRL!" (I've mentioned before that our relationship is like this....) Anyway, the point is, I have never really had great instruction.

Second, golf can be really frustrating. I'm pretty athletic. Usually I can pick up any ball or bat or racket and hold my own. It drives me crazy to go to the driving range and see fat old dudes or little kids who are way better than me. But it happened every time I went! So....golf lessons seemed necessary.

I called up a golf course here in town and signed up for 5 lessons. Here is a brief play-by-play of the two so far.

Lesson 1:

Not going to lie, my main concern was what to wear. I mean, perception is reality, so I wanted to at least look like I fit in on the driving range. After NO help from BFF or Cousin Kevin, who were both annoyed I would even ask this question, I headed to my lesson. I met up with my coach on the driving range and we went to work. The first thing he says is, "Let's videotape you and see how your swing looks." My response was, "Hold up there pal, let's start with you showing me how to hold a club and go from there." He quickly understood and put the video camera away for another day!

So we started with the basics. When I was finally ready to swing, I hit the ball on the first try (yay for small victories!) and he assured me that I was in good shape and that I had a "very athletic swing." This was like music to my ears.

My only complaint about the first lesson is that it was too hot. I went at 10:30 on a Saturday morning and it was miserable. It felt like I was doing hot golf instead of hot yoga. Lesson learned--go first thing at night or first thing in the morning from now on!

Lesson 2:

This time, I decided that a lesson in the evenings might be a good idea. For the girls following the blog interested in fashion, I rocked my favorite orange Tommy sleeveless polo (see above). Anyway, this time, the golf coach insisted on filming. This just about gave me a panic attack. It was a flashback to law school Evidence & Trial Practice class where the teacher videoed you doing practice arguments and questioning witnesses, then made you watch yourself. I learned quickly that I hated my hair and the sound of my own voice on video.

Luckily, my golf swing faired better on tape. We watched the video, the golf coach made a few corrections to my swing (like the fact that I didn't release the club so my hands were backwards on the follow through--something that one of the boys should have realized had they not been so busy yelling at me!). So I've improved quite a bit thus far. I can now hit the ball fairly consistantly about 100 yards or so with a 7 iron. I feel that to be success for now.

All in all, I think golf lessons have increased my happiness level. It's fun to be outside in the sun, fresh air and quiet on a golf course. It's relaxing and sort of theraputic to be able to hit something with a club. It's also nice to have been able to set a goal to work toward, and to do something that really is just for me.

And, last but not least, it doesn't hurt that my golf coach is a couple years older than me, not married, and pretty cute....stay tuned to see where this goes.

Facing Our Fears

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?" ~Pink, Glitter In The Air

We all have fears. And no matter how different they may be, we all have to struggle and figure out how to face them. That's hard, because it's hard for our friends to understand fears that they don't have. Don't get me wrong, they can be supportive, but they can't really understand.

For example, I have a friend who is scared of horses. As much as I want to understand and support my friend, it's really hard for me, becuase I don't understand her fear. To me, it's irrational and she needs to just hop on a horse because I know she'll be fine. But she doesn't know that, and for her, the fear is real.

I was talking about this with some friends last week. All of them assure me that some of my fears are completely irrational, probably more irrational that the fear of riding a horse. They don't understand it, but for me, it's a problem.
That's the thing about having a fear---it's not a rational thing. If it were, overcoming it would be easy. You would just calm down, think rationally, and do whatever it is you are afraid of. If only it were that easy.

I think the key to overcoming a fear (as cliche as this sounds) is figuring out exactly what the fear is. Once you know what you are worried about, you can figure out how to deal with it and work through it. Then, I think you take baby steps toward the ultimate goal. Finally, at some point, you have to face the fear head on. Once you've done that, the odds are, the fear will go away and you will understand why your friends thought you were crazy.

The bottom line is this.....at some point, you just have to hop on the horse, hang on tight, and see what happens!

When Did That Happen??

"We're adults....when did this happen? And how do we make it stop?" ~Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

College Roomie and I were talking on the phone last week about boys, which I will admit, is a frequent topic of conversation. I had this huge realization during the conversation, so I thought I'd share.

Early on in the conversation she asked if I would be willing to date a 40 year old. Not that she had one in mind, but just in general. I said that yes, I would, if he was the right 40 year old I didn't see that being much of a problem, and told her about a 40 year old friend I have who seems much closer to my own age. Later, she mentioned that she knew a nice guy, but that he was only 18. I laughed and said, "I'd be much more likely to date a 40 year old than an 18 year old."

And then it was like a lightbulb went off.... "Wait a minute," I said, "When in the world did that happen??"

Apparently I became a grown up! At some point in the last 8 years, that opinion changed without me even realizing it. I am sure when I was 18 this was not the case at all. Isn't it crazy that we grow up and make these sort of subconscious decisions without even knowing? I didn't sit down one day and say to myself, "Okay Tiffany, it's time to be an adult now." It seems like it just sort of happened somewhere in the midst of the every day-ness of life.

I certainly think this is a good thing, and I am glad to realize that I'm growing up. I was less glad to notice the little wrinkles forming around my eyes. That, however, is another blog for another day!

Family Farm Friday #21: We're All In This Together

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society." ~Vince Lombardi

This probably seems pretty obvious, but there are lots of different products raised by the American farm and ranch. Obviously there are different types of livestock like cattle and sheep, and different types of crops like corn and barley. But there are also different methods of raising them, like grass fed beef or organic produce. While we may not all agree on the best practices, we are all involved in agriculture. And agriculture has to stick together.
One of the things that drives me crazy is when producers turn against each other. Recently, another blog did a great job of explaining this exact issue. Here's my favorite quote from that blog.

"It doesn’t do anyone any good to vilify the type of beef our neighbor raises. It doesn’t matter what type of food you are raising, if you have to make up scary stories and spew misinformation about other products in order to promote your own, then you have a problem."

I think that the blogger hit the nail right on the head. There are too many activist groups out there spreading inaccurate "facts" and false information about agriculture. When we join in with them in this endeavor, they win. They gain yet another voice, and the public is even more likely to listen to what farmers and ranchers have to say, because we are the ones who know the industry. So my point is twofold. First off, we all need to support and promote American agriculture. Period. Second, although we obviously want to promote our own product, we need to do that by PROMOTING OUR product, rather than bashing someone elses.

We have more than enough people attacking agriculture, it's our job to stand up and fight for it.

Throwback Thursday # 26: Tornado Season

“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.” ~Win Borden

My friend, who we'll call Flinstone, drives me crazy. Twice in the last month I've call him and asked what he as doing. His response? Out driving around in a van chasing tornadoes. Last weekend as we were talking he seriously asked the driver if he could see at all through the storm they were in the middle of. I had to hang up. It was too stressful for me. Boys!

Anyway, it got me to thinking about one of the tornado warnings that happened when I was in college at Oklahoma State. Somehow, I managed to make it through 3 years of living in Oklahoma without ever being in a serious tornado. This is probably why I can write a blog that is on the lighter side of the tornado issue.

One night, College Roomie were at our apartment when the tornado sirens went off. Although we really are both pretty calm, cool and collected most of the time, we went into freakout mode. We had no idea what one was supposed to do when there was a tornado. So, we did the only thing that made sense. We called one of the Animal House boys, our dear friend, Trailerpark Bryan.

See, Trailerpark Bryan (and yes, that's what we call him in real life, not just on the blog) is from Oklahoma. He also knows pretty much everything about everything. He was the kind of guy who could help you program a tv, fix a car window, repair any appliance you could think of....you get the picture. Anyway, Trailerpark Bryan tells us that the best thing to do is to get a matress and put it in the bathtub. If the tornado hit, we could get in the tub under the matress.

College roomie and I spring into action. We discover a slight problem. Our queen size matresses will not fit into the bathroom. So, being the resourseful ladies we are, we get all of the couch cushions and haul them into the tub instead. Then we decide that we should probably be sure we could both fit, in case this actually came to fruition. So here we are, both sitting in the bathtub, covered in couch cushions, preparing for the worst.

Well, once we decide that the dress rehearsal was sufficiently complete, we went outside to see what was going on. Now, growing up, I'd seen several tornadoes forming in the skies over my house before, but I'd never been in a situation where one was actually touching down. It's eerie.....the sky is sort of green and it's really quiet. While out in the street with the tornado sirens blaring, we decided that snapping a picture of the event was necessary.

As you might guess, the tornado did not hit our little apartment at Casa Mia that night. As I recall it ended up going south of town. We chalked this up to experience--we learned three great lessons. First, our matresses would not fit into the bathtub, although both of us and the couch cushions would. Second, Trailerpark Bryan really does know everything. And third, there is always time for a one-armed self portrait.

Loud Barks and Huge Hearts

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." ~Henry Brooks Adams


I've written before about how the agriculture community is a type of family. I can't think of any better example than ag teachers. My ag teacher was certainly like a second father to me and I loved him dearly. I miss him every day.

I also was fortunate to form great relationships ag teachers from other school as well. When you grow up in FFA, you get to know the ag teachers from all over the state, be it at fairs or judging contests or livestock sales.

It's funny--most of them pretty much the same. Great guys with loud barks (although some definitely have bites to go along!) and huge hearts. If you know ag teachers, you know what I mean. It's amazing to see these strong, tough men go from screaming at you for busting a class one day, to tearing up when you win an award the next.


Last week, Las Vegas FFA lost their ag teacher, Mr. Leger, in a car accident. But, in true FFA fashion, this loss was felt far beyond Las Vegas. Facebook statuses were posted by students and teachers from Texico and Los Lunas, Clayton and Deming, San Jon and many more places. Ag teachers, probably more than any other teachers, have an impact on kids, not only in their own schools, but all across New Mexico.

I could not be more grateful to the ag teachers who have impacted my life. Mr. Leger was one of those ag teachers, and I mourn along with his students, family, and the entire New Mexico FFA organization today.

America's Favorite Pastime

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry

I don't particularly like baseball. Cousin Kevin, try to refrain from calling and yelling at me. Read the whole blog first.

I never watched it growing up as a kid on tv. My school had a team, but no one really went to the games. Even now, for me, it's just something that is on ESPN when I'm running at the gym to fill the horrible gap between the end of March Madness and the start of college football season. To me, America's favorit pastime should be college football. Hands down. I realize this probably comes as a shock to no one.

Well, times are changing, thanks to the Salem-Keizer (Oregon) Volcanoes.

Oh, and my super-star relative, Baby Cousin.

Who is really not a baby anymore!

So Baby Cousin was drafted last year right out of high school by the San Francisco Giants. It was super exciting for the family....he's our first pro-athlete.

During the draft we were all glued to our tvs and computer screens. When he was chosen, I was sitting in bar review class, in the back row, with one earphone in listening to the draft while Epstein drawned on and on about Contracts. When they said Baby Cousin's name, I slammed down my pen and ran out into the hall to get on the phone. I never did understand the contracts material I was supposed to learn that day. Thank goodness I didn't fail the bar!

Anyway, last week was Baby Cousin's first minor league exhibition game. He started as pitcher for the Volcanoes. He pithced for 5 innings. I'm excited to report that he had 8 strike-outs and didn't give up a single hit! That's right--he's a super-star! Here's a picture of him at the game.

So fair warning for my non-sports enthusiast followers. You and I will probably both be learning a lot about baseball in the future. Keep following the blog....I have no doubt that one day down the road, I'll be blogging about watching him pitch for the Giants at AT&T Park! You can bet I'll be in the stands.

We are talking about America's favorite past time and all.

Throwback Thursday #25: Happy Father's/Mother's Day

"I don't care if you got me a card. If there's not money in it, I'd just throw it away anyway." ~My Dad discussing his Father's Day present

Well, my dad ruined Father's Day this year. You will all recall the Bull Semen blog. Well, as we were looking through the magazine at bulls, my dad became intrigued with Indian Outlaw. He just thought it might be fun to try him on a couple of red cows to see what would happen.


Little Brother and I had this great idea--we could buy him the Indian Outlaw semen for Father's Day as a surprise! So both of us were telling him not to order it this year, to wait until a couple heifers were ready to breed, that it wasn't a good investment, etc. so that we could get it for him instead.
Well, my dad being the stubborn old man that he is, got mad. He told my mom that his kids couldn't tell him what to do with his money and he bought that semen just to show us. Yea. Nice work, dad.

Anyway, this made me think back to the best Father's Day/Mother's Day present I've given my parents---since this year is clearly not going to be in the running anymore---the clear winner was the time I sent them to prison.

When I lived in San Francisco for the summer, my parents came out to visit. That, in itself, was a miracle of sorts. You see, my parents don't take vacations. Mom hates to fly, dad is always busy with the farming and ranching, and growing up our vacations were the three stock shows every year. But, they came out to spend 3 or 4 days in SF with me.

I decided that for Father's/Mother's Day, I'd send them to Alcatraz.

They loved it! Both of them want to go back to SF and go on the tour again. In fact, when I turned down the job offer in SF, my dad's first comment was, "Well, I was really looking forward to coming back out to visit you and seeing Alcatraz again." (Forget, wow, I'm glad my only daughter will be living 3 hours away instead of 3 states...but whatever).

Anyway, because the bull semen gift was a bust, the Alcatraz trip will continue reining as the best gift. We'll see what we can come up with next year if the old man doesn't get in the way....again.

Dead Flowers

"Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world." ~Jane Addams

Sadly, I'm not referring to the Miranda Lambert song.

Often when I hear people talking about having kids and what not, I respond with, "That's just crazy. I don't even have a plant! I can barely take care of myself." I always though it was sort of a clever, cute saying. Turns out, it's apparently true.

A few weeks ago, I bought a little box of flowers at Wal-Mart. They were so pretty---bright yellow and orange. So I put them out on my balcony and really enjoyed them......for like two weeks. I have now killed the flowers.

I would like to blame the flowers and say maybe they were really supposed to be planted intead of growing in this little box, although there was no sort of instructions to make that clear. But it's probably a karma thing, really. I always talk about not even being able to take care of a plant, then I bought one and it was destined to die. When I found them dead today (it's been a busy week and I hadn't noticed, okay?), I tried to revive them with water. But, I'm a farm girl. I know they are a lost cause.

So, in an attempt to salvage this situation and convince myself I can take care of a plant, I'm off to the nursery this weekend. I think it may be time for professional assistance. I'll keep you posted.

You might cross your fingers for my next victims......

Starring Role....

"Your supposed to be the leading lady of your own life!" ~Kate Winslet, The Holiday

Have you ever thought about who would play you if there was ever a movie about your life? It's funny how often this issue has come up in the last few weeks. So, I decided a blog in it was probably necessary.
Casting is important, you know. Think about it....let's take Julia Roberts for example. She was born to play Vivian in Pretty Woman. No one else could have played that role.
Some people have it easy.
Keira Knightley is perfect for College Roomie.
SoulMateFriend would be played by Courtney Cox because there are things that my friend says and mannerisms that she has that are exactly like Monica from Friends!
I, on the other hand, have never been able to figure out who should play me. Well last week, I was watching this new show on NBC called Parenthood. (I love the show by the way....the dad is Craig T. Nelson--aka Hayden Fox from Coach!) Anyway, I really like one of the sisters on the show and was thinking, hmmm, maybe she could play me. Then, as the week went on, without me bringing it up, two more people commented on who they thought would play me in a movie.
Anyhow...from this, we have three suggestions.
Drew Barrymore (This suggestion was made while watching her in Charlie's Angels)

Renee Zellweger (This is actually my least favorite. I don't like her because she was mean to Kenny Chesney and her face seems all scrunchy.)
Erika Christensen (This is the girl from Parenthood. She was also the crazy chick in Swim Fan, but I'm trying to pretend that isn't why she could play me.)
So....two questions for the blog readers.
1. Who would play you?
2. Which one of these (or do you have any other suggestions of actresses) should play me?

COMMENT BELOW!