Something Useful

"Let go and let God."

I'm a thinker. An over-analyzer. A person who likes to think about every situation that might arise and decide how I would react. I blame it on law school. I mean, it's really a problem. I'll fret and analyze and try to figure out a situation or a plan or what the future holds until I just about drive myself (and everyone around me!) completely crazy.

And then, sometimes, it's like God finally says, "Okay, she's even driving ME crazy...let's send her something useful." Here was His something useful this weekend:

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this , You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

ND Friend and I were talking this weekend about all the things we worry about. What path we are supposed to be on, and how we know.....that kind of thing. After I was explaining to her about this realization that I had come to, she said, I have this prayer that you have to read! And, as usual, she was right. And it was perfect.

I don't know about you guys, but I worry sometimes about whether I'm doing the right things to stay on the path I'm meant to be on. I could see the path going so many different ways and it's hard to know which one I'm supposed to be on . Remeber my Sweet Home Alabama Disease blog? Like the prayer begins, "I have no idea where I'm going."

And when I have a hard time with that, sometimes I feel like I'm just not having enough faith, and that's where the questions come from. Which is a whole different can of worms for me to try and sort through in my head. I love the idea that even if I may get lost on some little detours along the way---even if I may not follow the plan perfecty---the fact that I have a desire in what I am doing to please Him is, in and of itself, an act of faith.

I think this idea, and find this prayer, is liberating and freeing and so inspirational. And so I wanted to share. Maybe some of you are over-analyzers too. Isn't it nice to know that even though we have no clue where we are going, we believe in someone who does?