Sh*t No One Tells You About Being Pregnant (Part III)

Today we will wrap up our series on Sh*t no one tells you about being pregnant. This means we also wrap up sharing my baby bump photos.  Enjoy. 

11. Stretch marks. 

Oh, the stretch marks!  I know (hate) some people who don't get them. I made up for all of those people and have a tummy covered in these dang things.  I put on lotion, I exercised, I gained exactly what I was supposed to and lost the baby weight by 3 weeks post partum.  Didn't matter.  And I have yet to find a cure. I just tell myself it's a small price to pay and I probably don't really need to be in a 2 piece swim suit anymore anyway. 

12. Personal stuff. 

There are lots of strange things your body does, especially at the end of a pregnancy.  And while I refuse to share details on a public blog forum, if you have any questions I am happy to answer them, or at least share my experience! 

13. Hips like a grandma. 

I cannot tell you how many times I said to The Boy from Texas "my hips are killing me." I sounded like a dang nursing home!  But I had a hard time with pain in my hips, particularly at night, which made sleeping nearly impossible. 

14. Aforementioned impossible sleep.

I wanted to punch the next person who told me to enjoy sleep now and rest up while you can. I didn't sleep for crap for at least the last trimester. Between killer heartburn, hip pain, and having to pee every 5 minutes, it was a disaster.  You are supposed to sleep in your side. So whatever side I was laying on, that hip would cramp up after about 30 minutes, causing me to wake up to roll over, waking up would cause me to have to pee, so I would end up waddling to the bathroom and by the time I got back settled in, the routine started over again. I kid you not when I say I am more rested now even up for midnight feedings than I was then. 

15. Tears and hormones.

Your emotions are basically taken over by something (or someone) else. I am not a crier and in comparison to some other people I know I didn't get very bad.  But the one thing I do know is I could not watch any video of a soldier coming home without weeping. Random, I know.  Good news?  You just think pregnant hormones are bad. Wait for what The Boy from Texas calls the post partum roller coaster ride. 

16. Doctors are liars.  

"Oh, I think you are going to go into labor any day now! We won't even have to talk about inducing," I was told at 35 weeks. We induced at 40 weeks. "You will only have to push for like 30 minutes." Forceps got him out after 4 hours of that joy.  My dad says they tell you this so you don't jump off a bridge because of the truth.  Maybe so. 

And now, our final bump photos.

34 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

37 weeks

38 weeks

39 weeks

40 weeks

Sh*t No One Tells You About Being Pregnant (Part II)

We are back to continue on our series of sh*t no one tells you about being pregnant.  If you missed Part 1, click here.  Now, onward.

6.  Reactions to baby names will make you angry.

People really have no filter, for some reason, when it comes to pregnancy.  No matter what name you are considering--something common like Lane or something wacky like Apple--someone is going to respond by scrunching up their nose and saying, "Oh, I don't really like that."  I even had one friend who kept the baby's name a secret until after he was born, it was already on the birth certificate, and people still said they didn't like the name.  I mean, at that point, why wouldn't you lie and say "That's great" or "how cute" or something?  Bottom line here:  Unless you were involved in creating said baby, keep your mean opinions to yourself.

7.  Your insurance may cover the complete cost of a breast pump.

Had you told me a year ago that I'd be using the words "breast pump" on this blog, I'd have called you crazy.  What has happened??  Anyway, before you run out and start buying one, call your insurance company.  Most (if not all....law may require all now) insurance companies cover these.  Mine, in fact, covered two of the brand everyone recommended and shipped them right to my house.  What brand would that be?  Medela.  Not to be confused with the beer Modelo, which is what Loud Oklahoma Girl swears she will be drinking as soon as she delivers her baby.  Ha! 

8.  Pregnancy is really just a major lesson in waiting.

I'm not a real patient person.  I'm sure this shocks no one.  But I'm here to tell you, for me, being pregnant has pretty  much been 8 months of holding my breath waiting for the next thing.  When you pee on the stick, you then have to wait like two months for an appointment.  After that appointment, you wait another two months to have the anatomy ultrasound.  You wait to show. If you do the genetic screening (see next point), you have to wait for the results and, if they look bad, you have to wait two more weeks for more accurate results.  There's waiting for registry completion discounts.  Waiting to feel him move.  Waiting for house additions to be done (that's just us).  Waiting to be far enough along that the baby can survive outside the womb.  Seriously, you just wait and grow.  That sums it up.

9.  Genetic screening tests are bullshit.  Yep, deserves another curse word here.

You read about our nerve wracking experience with this on this prior blog.  Here are some of my thoughts based on my experience.  First off, be sure you really understand exactly what you are agreeing to.  College Roomie's experience was much different than mine in that before they were offered the tests, they met with a counselor that explained the tests, how they worked, the chances of false positives, how follow up tests would be handled, etc. I think that would have made everything completely different for us.  Our pre-test conversation consisted of the lab tech asking if we wanted it, me asking if insurance covered it, her saying yes, me saying yes.  That was that.  So getting a call that said we "screened positive for Downs" was completely out of left field and terrifying.  Then, the fact that we had to do another test (an accurate one versus the crappy one we just did) and wait to weeks to get the results was terrible.  Absolutely terrible.  Additionally, we knew that no matter what those tests said, we would not be "terminating the pregnancy" (I hate that term), and because of that I wonder why I didn't think to say no.

Since hearing our story I've had several people tell me they opted out of the test.  Truthfully, I don't think I'd have it done with any future babies that may come our way.  For sure I would have the anatomy ultrasound looked at first and if it was normal, I probably would decline the tests.  At the very least, I'd be sure to be much, much more educated than I was.

10.  Feeling and then seeing that baby move in your belly is the creepiest and most awesome thing in the world.

There's really not much I can say to explain this further.  I don't know if all babies are as active as this one, but when people sitting across the room suddenly go, "Oh my gosh, what just happened to your stomach?!?" you know that you've got some solid movement going on.  He's all over the place all the time.

And now, some more of our weekly photos.

Week 21

Week 22

Week 23

Week 24

Week 25

Week 26

Week 27

Week 28

Week 29

Week 30

Week 31

Week 32

Sh*t No One Tells You About Being Pregnant (Part I)

Initially, I was going to post this after the baby arrived, but once I got to like number 57 on my list (okay, not THAT many), I decided to make it a mini-series.  I also had some feedback from blog readers for not posting bump updates.  I'm going to incorporate those here as well.

Here we go with Part I.

1.  Morning sickness is bullshit.  

I usually don't cuss on this blog because my mom reads it, but this deserves a curse word.  I went through four months of throwing up pretty much every day at least once (if not more) a day.  It was horrible.  I felt nauseous all the time.  I lost 10 pounds.  I saw the inside of the toilet bowl more often than I saw my husband.  It. Was. Horrible.

Now, I know that not all women have morning sickness.  To those of you that didn't, I kinda want to punch you in the face.  No, not really. Well, a little.  But here's a bit of advice.  If your friend is telling you about her terrible experience, please do not say things like, "I know what you mean, yesterday, I felt nauseous for an HOUR."  Just shut up and be sympathetic to the poor girl who can't stop puking her guts out.

I wish I could offer you some advice on how to survive this part of the experience. But I can't....I'm actually not sure how I survived if I'm being honest.  I tried it all. Eat small meals.  Eat before you get out of bed.  Drink something.  Don't drink anything.  Try protein.  Try crackers.  Try essential oils.  Don't get up too fast.  I ended up being put on two different drugs together to just keep me functioning.  The only bit of advice I can tell you is just eat what you can, when you can, and that at some point, this will end.

2.  The first ultrasound is not done on your tummy.  

We won't go into great detail on this, but luckily for me, Soul Mate Friend had warned me about this before our first ultrasound and I had warned The Boy from Texas.  Even knowing what would happen, it was awkward.  So be prepared for that.

But you do get cool/creepy/alien-looking pictures like this.

3.  Everyone will be full of freakin' advice that makes you need a drink.  But, of course, you can't have one.

Everyone has an opinion about what you should do and why whatever you are doing is wrong.  You might remember a prior blog I did on this topic.

I just keep trying to remind myself that people mean well.  They honestly care about me and the baby and want to help.  That helps prevent me from using physical violence.

4.  You will itch all over.  

I'm not sure if this happens to everyone, but it sure did to me.  Now, part of it was I recently moved to a much drier climate and was also pregnant during the winter months, but y'all.  My skin itched all over to the point I thought I had developed some terrible disease.  I don't know if it's hormones or stretching or what, but it was not fun.

This one I can offer a suggestion for.  I got some Burts Bee's Mama Bee products that helped immensely.  They have an oil and a body butter.  I used both, probably preferred the body butter just because it was less messy.  If you're pregnant, go ahead and run to Target and get you some of this magic.

5.  If you don't show quickly, you'll be jealous of people who do.  Stupid, I know.

Until I was 20 weeks pregnant, I didn't look it at all.  I probably looked like maybe I ate too many tacos and gave up the running hobby, but there was not cute, noticeable baby bump.  I would get super jealous of friends of mine who showed sooner.  They looked cute and let's be honest, people are so nice to pregnant ladies (except when they try to touch you or give you advice....)  Just give it time. One day (seriously, I feel like it happened literally over one night), that bump will show up and just keep on growing.

And now, some photos.

Week 10

Week 12

Week 14

Week 16

Week 17

Week 19