Life-Changing Moments

We talk all the time about life-changing moments.  How this or that changed our lives.  I think that honestly, there are very few moments that truly, literally change your life--those moments that you can really point to and say that your life was wholly different before those seconds than it ever was again after. 

9 years ago on this day, one of those moments--one phone call--changed mine.  9 years ago tomorrow, the same nightmare happened again.  Two days.  Two phone calls. Two car accidents.  Two friends.  Gone forever. 

I could tell you exactly where I was when those calls happened.  I can still remember the ringtone on my phone, and walking in circles on campus not knowing where to go, and College Roomie slamming her bedroom door after I answered her question, "Is it true?"  I remember someone cancelling my birthday party and Captain Don coming over to just sit on the couch in silence and NM Animal House Boy cooking dinner.  And then, later that week, I remember saying goodbye.  The caskets and tears and music.

But mostly, I remember my friends.  Boys who were funny and kind and handsome and sweet and pulled great jokes and made me smile.  They made my life better.  And losing them broke my heart.  The world is not the same without them in it.  My life is not the same without them in it.  And today in addition to the pain, I feel gratitude for the effect they had on me and on so many others.

Letters to Mr. Right: Letter #9

"Say not in grief: 'He is no more', but live in thankfulness that he was." ~Hebrew Proverb

Dear Mr. Right,

I think that the thing that makes me the most sad about you not being here yet is that you didn't get to meet some really great people.

You won't understand that when people say things like "Hogan's goat" or "Sweet Petunia" they are quoting Mr. Franklin. And you won't know what my cousins and brother mean when we talk about Faye's weenies. Likewise, the phrase "Aunt Jean candies" means nothing to you. You won't get to hear this one laugh that could make a whole room crack up for no reason at all. You won't get to meet First Valentine who got me a passing grade in home ec, and blame him for my inability to be domestic. You'll be confused when I drop everything if Paul Harvey comes on the radio and enjoy watching MASH episodes even when I can quote them line by line. Those are thanks to Gran, by the way. And to you, pink cowboy boots are just pink cowboy boots. rather than what found me my best friends.

But hopefully, if I'm doing anything right, you'll see parts of these people in me.

Beyond that, I guess you'll just have to learn as you go.

Waiting for that day,

Me

Photo via

Remembering Today

"I want to believe that he was...blessed. And I do miss him. And I hope that he has left something, some little part of himself with me. That would be miracle enough, wouldn't it?" ~John Pielmeier, Agnes of God

I realized in looking back on posts from this day for the past couple of years that I've only briefly talked about two people who were really improtant in my life. For those of you who may not know, seven years ago today, one of Little Brother's best friends, who we'll call Rodeo Star, was killed in a car accident. The next day, one of my oldest friends, who we'll call Jeans, and his father were killed in another car accident. That was on my 21st birthday. So, needless to say, this time of year remains a little sad for me.

But today, I've decided that I'm going to tell you my favorite stories about Rodeo Star and Jeans. Because I know that both of them would rather a funny story be told than some depressing blog anyway.

Rodeo Star

If you ask anyone who knew Rodeo Star what they remember about them, I'd venture to bet you that 90% of people would respond the same way. "His laugh." It was this hilarious, unique, sort of ridiculous cackle that you couldn't help but join in once he got going. It's no question that his laugh was part of the legacy that Rodeo Star let behind when he passed away at the age of 17.

My favorite story about Rodeo Star involves that laugh, Mr. Franklin, and a classic butt chewing after a judging contest. Here's how it went down.

Our FFA chapter was at our first judging contest of the year in Hobbs. We did not have a particularly good day. (Mind you, it was like everyone else's 3rd contest and our first, plus we had lots of young guys on our teams...including the three amigos Little Brother, Rodeo Star, and Opie, all of whom were in the 8th grade).

Anyway, so after the results are posted, Mr. Franklin gathers all of us (or he thought all of us anyway) around the suburbans and starts his lecture about how we have to work harder and he's disappointed and this is unacceptable. It was classic Mr. Franklin. So good, in fact, that BFF's dad who was sitting next to the suburbans in a bus opened the window to listen. So here is Mr. Franklin in the middle of his speech, and all of a sudden.....you hear it. The laugh. Coming from across the parking lot.

I turned and looked in time to see Rodeo Star roping a dummy with some other kids. And then, I heard the second thing. Mr. Franlkin bellowing, "GGGAAARRRCCCIIIAAAA!" (Rodeo Star's last name.) And like that, the laugh came to a screaching hault, and that little kid bee-lined it across the parking lot faster than I had ever seen him move.

No lie, years later, ag teachers and kids that were there that day still talk about this little event. It wouldn't suprise me if those two don't talk about it now and laugh about that day on the other side.

Jeans

You know how you sometimes hear a person described as someone that never said anything mean about anyone? And you think to yourself, "Yea, okay I'm sure." Well, I am here to tell you, Jeans honestly never said a cross word about anyone to me. And we were friends for over 10 years. I think that I'd have to say he was the nicest person I knew. And he had this way about him of inspiring other people who he was around, just by being himself. That's a gift that too few people have if you ask me. When Jeans was killed in a horrific car accident, along with his father, at the age of 19, the world lost a great one.

My favorite Jeans story happened when we were maybe 15 years old and a bunch of us, including me, BFF and Jeans loaded up to go to livestock judging camp at K-State. I don't remember too much about the camp itself, but I do remember seeing fireflies for the first time and stealing silverware from the cafeteria for card games of spoons that got insanely heated. And I remember a prank call, that is the subject of my favorite Jeans memory.

Jeans' mom is the sweetest lady in the whole world. So why we decided to play a prank on her is not clear to me, but she fell for it and it was awesome. There we were, BFF, Jeans and me in the House High School excursion. BFF pretended to be the shriff in Hooker, Oklahoma calling to tell her that Jeans just got arrested. Then Jeans got on the phone pretending to cry and confess to shoplifting jerky because he had run out of money and was really hungry. So he begged her to come and bail him out and she was saying something about getting dressed when I couldn't take it anymore. I burst out laughing, ruined the joke, and made everyone in the car mad. But we laughed all the way home....and that's the way I like to remember my friend.

They say that a person never really dies so long as their memory lives on in those that they have left behind. I am a better person for having known and loved both of these boys. And today, I hope to leave a little piece of their memories with you, and maybe leave you better off as well.