Bapa

“Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”  ~Unknown

 Last week, I attended part of a funeral service for an amazing man.  And I was reminded that although we have our differences, more things are the same.

I liked Bapa from the first day I met him.  And he spit soup in my face. He was the 96 year old grandfather of my law school bff, Brett-Brett. 

Me and the twins at the Fiesta Bowl

Four years ago, Brett-Brett and I had been studying all day for the ethics part of the bar exam, when his dad called and said to meet him and Bapa for dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  So we showed up for dinner and I was seated across the table from Bapa.  We talked about how he grew up in a small town and used to make saddles and riggings for cowboys.  Then the waitress brought his egg drop soup.  Bapa put a spoonful in his mouth, choked, and sprayed soup across the table...literally covering me.  It was all over my face, on my glasses, on the old hoodie I was wearing.  While Brett-Brett and his dad were about to die from laughter, Bapa just kept apologizing and offering to get my shirt dry cleaned.  We bonded that day, Bapa and I.

Bapa passed away last Monday.  His funeral was held at the Jewish Temple where he attended services, and afterwards they had Shiva at Brett-Brett's parents' house.  I'm unfortunately pretty well versed in funerals--I'd venture to bet you that I've been to more funerals in my 28 years than most people attend in their lifetime.  But this was my first Jewish funeral.  So I did what any polite, well-mannered Christian girl would do.  I consulted Google to be sure I didn't do or say something inappropriate!

During the short service at the house, the Cantor explained that this time of prayer and of mourning was observed in the Jewish religion at home with the family, instead of at the public funeral. Prayer books (which I learned were upside down and backwards...turns out that's normal) were passed out and for about 10 minutes, prayers were recited. And then the people in attendance were invited to tell their favorite stories and memories of Bapa.  The Twenty-Third Psalm was read, which caused me to whisper to Brett-Brett, "Don't worry, I know this one!"  Apparently although the jist is the same, the wording is slightly different and I had to retract my proud statement.

At the house, everyone milled around talking, telling stories about Bapa and stuffing their faces with Mexican food.  As I looked around, I could not help but think back to New Year's Eve when my family did the exact same thing at a hunting lodge following Uncle David's funeral and in 2009 when we all ate dinner after saying goodbye to Mr. Franklin.  Love is love and family is family whether a funeral occurs in a Temple or a Cathedral or a high school gym.  Even though our beliefs may be different, the grief and the support given to each other was not.

Bapa's prayer service ended with the following prayer:

At the rising of the sun and at its going down We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart We remember them.

When we have joy we crave to share We remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make We remember them.

When we have achievements that are based on theirs We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live; for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

They did not end this with an Amen on Wednesday night, but I will today.  For Bapa, for Uncle David, for Mr. Franklin and for everyone else who we have loved and lost.  May we remember them always.

Family Farm Friday # 71: Sheep Sale Weekend 2012

"Hard work is the key to success, so work diligently on any project you undertake. If you truly want to be successful, be prepared to give up your leisure time and work past 5 PM and on weekends."  ~Charles Lazarus

Sheep sale weekend is always an adventure. This year was no exception. We were really excited about the lambs this year as we had our first set of lambs out of our two new rams, Forrest and Gambler.  These two guys really made a difference in the quality of our lambs, and it was nice that people noticed.  We had our best sale to date, which is always a weight off of everyone's shoulders!

Here were a few of my favorite quotes/moments of the weekend....

• I had been out at the barn all day in like hurricane force winds, so I walked in the house sweaty, covered in dirt and smelling like a sheep.  I asked Little Cowboy if he wanted to go over to Mr. Franklin's with me for their sale.  He looked at me, cocked his head, and said, "Well...only if you take a shower.  You don't smell good."

• We bought one of the new rams, Gambler, from a guy in California who happened to be in town for the sales.  He came over to the house to look at the ram and see our lambs.  He walked up to the pen where the rams are, looked at Gambler and just said, "My God."  His friend with him said, "Well, looks like you really screwed that one up!"  Nice feeling knowing that your purchase ended up working out well!

• I've known the man who works for the Franklins taking care of their lambs for a long time.  He's probably in his 50's and is completely hilarious, so we tend to harass each other.  He came over to me at the sale, put his arm around me, and said, "Stephanie (he's never gotten my actual name right....I tell people that it's Tiffany in Spanish), you're so beautiful."  I asked him what he wanted.  He said, "Nothing, I'm just saying.  But I'd take a coke."  About 10 minutes later we were all in line for dinner and he walked up to Mrs. Franklin's mom, took her hand, and said, "Mrs. Joy, you're so beautiful."  She said, "You're a liar, you don't tell the truth."  Apparently his line wasn't working out all that well that night!

• When Flan showed up at the house to look at lambs, Little Cowboy came over to the barn with us.  We were in one pen looking and Little Cowboy looked at Flan and said, "So...you gonna buy one?"  Flan said, "Well maybe."  Little Cowboy said, "I'll price them for ya."  Flan said, "How much?"  Little Cowboys said, "One dollar.  No, one coin."  I said, "Little Cowboy, that's not very much!"  Little Cowboy said, "Well Tiff, look at him, he doesn't have any money!"  Later Little Cowboy explained thta he based this on the fact that Flan does not take very good care of his clothes because they had holes in them and were dirty.  I almost died laughing.

• It was about 9:30 or so on Saturday night when a truck of people from Oklahoma showed up to look at lambs.  Mind you, we'd been showing sheep since about 7:30 that morning, so I was not super excited about this.  Fortunately for me, we met our new friends Dirty Creek and North Carolina and the next two hours flew by.  See, Dirty Creek is what you'd think of as a steryotypical red-neck from Eastern Oklahoma.  He wore a dirty old straw hat, had a mullet, constantly had a dip in his mouth, and talked with a serious accent.  And I'm here to tell you, that dude was a riot.  Most of his funny jokes are not blog-appropriate (I know some Grandmas who read this blog, y'all!), but I'm here to tell you, he was a riot.  And of course, as usually happens with the life of the party guy, we hit it right off.  Apparently the next day he talked to my dad and told him, "She's a fiesty one, that lawyer.  You've gotta watch her."  Ha!  He also said that he liked my taste in sheep and that he'd trust me to pick out a lamb for him and he'd buy it sight unseen.  Pretty good compliment for an ag girl if you ask me!

• After the sale was over, my mom and Moomoos were getting all of the paperwork and money taken care of.  Well Little Cowboy figured out that they were getting paid and had a fit.  I mean screaming, crying, meltdown.  In order to prevent him from getting a spanking, Aunt Tiff came to the rescue and took him for a walk.  I used my legal interrogation skills (or maybe a bribe of chocolate) to get to the bottom of the problem.  Someone told him that people were paying my mom and his Moomoos.  But we told  him the day before that he got to be the pricer for the lambs and he just did not understand why they had taken his darn job!

• At one point on Saturday we were looking at lambs....I don't even remember now who was there...but Little Cowboy yelled at me from the feedroom clear across the barn, "Tiff, are you married?"  I said, "Nope, I'm not.  Why are you asking that?"  He said, "Well I figured you weren't."  Um.....what the heck?  I get this enough from the adults in my life, I don't need pressure from a 5 year old!

Letters to Mr. Right: Letter #12

"Life is about the people we meet and the things we create with them. So let’s go out and start creating, life is too short to be spent alone." ~Unknown

Dear Mr. Right,

You should know that I come with baggage.  A lot of it.  In the form of the posse of people who are so involved in my life.  Girl friends who analyze every text message from a boy.  Guy friends who threaten to beat up any guy who looks my way.  Uncles who are trying to set me up with "fairly good looking" convicts.  Family friends who threaten to crash dates and hide a booth over so they can watch.  Paralegals who run criminal background checks at the drop of a hat. 

And if all this makes you want to run for the hills, I'll understand.  But you can go on ahead and run, because these people are a part of who I am, and they're not going anywhere.

We all have baggage....mine is just more fun than most people's. You'll be lucky to have them.

Waiting for that day,

Me



PS:  I'm linking up with Friday Letters, so click here to read the other entries!  To see all of my Letters to Mr. Right, click here.

Every Mile a Memory (Part 2)

"Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do." ~Anon.

Well if yesterday's blog wasn't exciting enough for you, today's will hopefully cure that!  I'm continuing on my story of my wild and crazy weekend of going back to OSU for the Remember The Ten run.  If you missed part one, click here.   Now, on to part two.  Part three (which will be my actual serious reflection on the whole emergency landing situation) will come next week.

Allelujah, a Football Game!

This time of year is depressing for me.  There is not a single sporting event that I care about going on.  But luckily for me, OSU loves me and scheduled the Spring Football game when I was in town.  Something to get me through until September!

First off, I have to share a picture that I took with the Fiesta Bowl trophy and Big 12 Championship trophy.  Pretty cool, huh?  I figure since I was there screaming like a crazy person the nights that we won both of these (Big 12 Championship blog and Fiesta Bowl blog), I deserved my photo to be taken with them.  Go Pokes!

SoulMate Friend and I loaded up Little Linebacker for his first OSU football game. 

Turns out, football is not designed for 2 year olds.  He was hot and tired and did not want to sit still very much.  Much to my dismay, he was more interested in the band than the game (it's Tuba Man's genetics here....).  He also really liked seeing Pistol Pete.  We had hoped for a photo of Little Linebacker on the field after the game, but he just couldn't make it that long.  I did snap this one before he had to go for nap time.

I won't bore you with all the details, but here is a quick summary of my thoughts.  I think if we're being honest, it's a 2 man race for quarterback.  Chelf is out in my opinion.  Walsh and Lunt both looked good---if I'm Gundy, I use Walsh now and red-shirt Lunt.  That kid will be a superstar, but you don't have to burn a year of eilligibility now when you have someone like Walsh that can throw the ball.  One thing that concerns me about Walsh is that he's not very tall and had several passes batted down at the line.  But he throws better than I expected.  Remember the name Charlie Moore.  This lanky white kid came out of nowhere and was the star of the spring game.  Great hands.  The replacement for Blackman??  Tracy Moore looked good, as you would have expected.  On special teams, I have two thoughts:  (1) if Quinn Sharp gets hurt, we're screwed....pretty sure I could kick better than our other kickers; and (2) we better work on punt returners catching the ball, I bet they dropped 10 of them and when Gilbert finally caught one, the whole crowd cheered and he took a bow.  Sheesh.  Defense looks good, but not as killer good as everyone has been talking.  The line looks really big and I particularly like the Defensive Ends Cooper Bassett and Jimmy Bean.

Wes Lunt

J.W. Walsh

After the game they let everyone come on the field to meet the players.  It's not nearly as exciting when they just open the ramps for you to go down as it is rushing the field after Bedlam and almost breaking an ankle/getting trampled to death like last time.  But whatever.  My original plan was to try and get pictures just with random, non-popular players.  But my competitive streak kicked in and I bee-lined it for Lunt.  This kid is going to be a rock star.  Go big or go home, I say.  I may have shoved some people out of the way (sorority girls...not little kids) to get in there, but I got my picture.  For the record, if he was not 17 years old, I think we would be quite a good looking couple, no?

Me and our future star QB!

And because as I've mentioned before, I'm always drawn right to the life of the part, I ended up with a picture of me and this dude (Davidell Collins...Junior...Defensive Tackle), who was sporting some crazy fake afro.  He had spunk.  I like that.

The Realization that I'm Old.

There I was, in Stillwater, on a Saturday night.  The Copper Penny should have been calling my name.  Instead, I ate Braums with SoulMate Friend and Tuba Man in our pjs and was in bed, totally asleep by 10:30.  Back in the good ol' days, we didn't even head to the bar until 10:30!  Somewhere in the last 6 years, I have become old.  Sigh.  They say you can't be old and wise unless you were young and crazy.  I think that we did a pretty good job of accomplishing the young and crazy part of that goal back in the day, so I'm going to accept that my time has passed and let the 21 year olds live it up in my place!

The Glory Days.

Emergency Landing.

So after church on Sunday morning and lunch with the Oklahoma Girls, I headed to the airport to fly home.  Due to the brilliant geography knowledge of the airline industry, I was scheduled to fly from Oklahoma City to Kansas City to Albuquerque.  (Yes....that would be flying first in the opposite direction of my destination.)  And so we get to Kansas City and load up all the new passengers and head to Albuquerque.

I was sitting next to the emergency exit row (extra leg room for my sore, tired legs...yes please!)  I noticed some random noise that kept getting louder, but I just turned up my iPod.  Nothing a little Red Dirt music can't fix.  And then I started to feel some strange vibration of the plane.  I chalked that up to turbulance.  Soon, the plane sort of turned to the south, which did not make much sense to me.  I looked out the windows and noticed that we were flying at a significantly lower elevation than we had been about 15 minutes prior.  By this point, I knew something was up.  And sure enough, the pilots came on the speaker and told everyone to remain calm, but that there was a problem with one of the engines so we would be diverting to make an emergency landing in Wichita and we needed to prepare for landing immediately.

 My first thought:  "I didn't put my picture with Eddie Sutton on facebook yet and if we crash, no one will ever know!"  No lie.  That's called bleeding orange, folks.

I've got to tell you, the Southwest pilots and crew did a great job.  There was no panicing on the plane, everyone just did what they were told and things seemed like a normal landing.  Until we caught sight of the runway in Wichita.  There were fire trucks and ambulances with lights blaring all up and down the runway.  That was the only time I got a little jittery and realized that this could actually end badly.  About this point, I had another thought.  "I am sitting by the freaking emergency exit.  I should have paid more attention when they told me to read that safety information card in the seat back pocket in front of me!"  Fortunately, we had a routine landing, you would not have known there was a problem.  Here's a video of the event that was on the local news.

So the fire trucks swarmed us to be sure nothing was actually burning (it was not) and after sitting on the tarmak for an hour, they finally towed the plane to a gate where they unloaded us.  There we are, all 136 passengers stuck in Wichita's airport.  There were only three things there:  bathrooms, a bar, and a bagel restaurant.  

Long story short, we hung out for 4 hours while Southwest sent antother plane to pick us all up.  They gave us free cokes and all the peanuts and pretzels we could eat.  After a couple of Seven and Sevens (to calm the nerves, obviously), a chocolate chip cookie (can we say emotional eater?), and about 15 bags of peanuts (protein, people), I felt quite a bit better.  The flight from Wichita home on the other airplane was completely uneventful and all's well that ends well.  I figure we'll just chalk this up to another adventure and potential book chapter one day!

Every Mile A Memory (Part 1)

"Every mile a memory, every song, another scene, from some old movie going back in time, you and me." ~Dierks Bentley

Oh y'all....last weekend was something else!!  Every time I thought to myself, "Oh this has to be the craziest part of the weekend" it just got crazier.  I can't fit all of this chaos into one post.  So here is part one.  Stay tuned tomorrow for part two (which will involve the Spring football game, a quarterback photo, old age striking and an emergency landing).

The Race

As you all know, I went to Stillwater in order to participate in the Remember The Ten 10K race, which is held eacy year in memory of the 10 members of the OSU family who were killed in a plane crash back in 2001.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this race.

The race began with 14 seconds of silence---ten for each one of the victims of the 2001 crash and 4 for each of the victims of the 2011 crash.  Because I was determined to focus on the purpose of the race, I wrote each person's name on a little sticky note that I carried with me throughout the race.  Each kilometer, I prayed for the family of one of the ten, and one of the four, plus the coaches and other players who were at OSU during the crashes.  It was a great way to keep my mind on the real purpose behind the race.  Remembering the Ten means remembering the 10 men, along with those that they left behind, and I felt like this exercise allowed me to do that.

Running this race course was like running back through memories of three of the best years of my life.  I ran by my old dorm room, by the football stadium, by the Animal Science building where I'd meet the boys for lunch and help them do their homework, by the flag football field where College Roomie and I cheered the guys on before they got kicked out of flag football.  We ran down Western Street, which made me remember the Dry Cleaner Girl that all the guys were in love with, and the Animal House that was seated just off this road.  We ran by the Tri Delt house which made me think of the Oklahoma Girls and  Pink Boots, and by elementary schools that made me think about working with relay for life.  By the Strip that holds more memories than I could even start to list, and by the library that brought back all the mock trial practices we had in there.  We finished the run by running right behind the library and the stadium to the finish line.  While we did so, we passed several groups of prospective students there for open houses.  So because I had been praying all day, I said a quick prayer for these kids--that OSU would be as good to them as it was for me.

And finally, the race details.  It had to be a success given my two biggest fans....Little Linebacker who gave me a good luck hug before I headed out to the run and my God Daugher, GBaby, who was all decked out in OSU gear back in New Mexico.  Seriously--could these children be any cuter?

As I always do, I set three goals.  First, to run the entire race.  Second, to run it in less than 70 minutes.  Third, to run it in 10:00 mile average (62 minutes).  I knew the third goal was pretty far out there, but was hopeful for the other two.  Turns out, I did hit two of the three!  I ran the entire race without stopping in 66:67.  I was quite a bit over my desired 10 minute/mile pace, but hey, there's always next year! 

Meeting a Legend

If you would have told me that I would come home from Stillwater with a picture from the race AND a picture with our future quarterback and neither of those would be my new facebook profile, I would have called you a liar.  That was because never in my wildest dreams did I think I would meet Coach Sutton!

For you non-sports fans, Coach Sutton is a legend--the court inside OSU's Gallagher Iba Arena is named in his honor.  He took us to the final four.  He's one of only 8 coaches to win over 800 games.  He's in the Hall of Fame.  He was also the coach when the plane crash occurred.  And in true OSU style, he is in Stillwater for the memorial race every year.

I actually saw him before the race started, but there were a lot of people around and I had to get over to the starting area, so I just went on.  For the next hour while I was running, I was kicking myself for not taking a picture of Coach Sutton.  When the race was over and I was waiting on my friends to finish, I went to get a water and there he stood.....Coach Sutton.  He was talking to a family member of one of the Ten, so I just waited.  When he finished, I walked right up, shook his hand and introduced myself.  I told him that he was the coach when I was in school and how much I loved watching his teams.  He said, "We sure had some good times, didn't we?"  We talked about the Final Four, about where I lived and what I was doing.  Then he saw the camera in my hand and asked if I wanted a picture.  DUH!  And so here we have it.

I've already checked "Picture with a famous person" off my bucket list twice (Alex Weeden and Easton Corbin) but I will just tell you neither of those held a candle to this one.  I was so excited, I almost cried!  Me and Coach Sutton, in a picture together.  Between the trash pile and the bike rack, with me covered in sweat.  It was perfect.  That, alone, was worth the whole trip and running for an hour.

A Wedding Shower: 5 Thoughts from an Outsider

"Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?" ~Carrie Bradshaw

A couple of weekends ago, I headed home for Little Brother and Moomoos wedding shower. I knew it would be pretty good, because small town women know how to throw showers and funeral dinners. And I was not disappointed, nor were Little Brother and Moomoos who could hardly fit all of the gifts in their cars! I recorded a few thoughts to share with you all.

1. I do not understand the rationale behind giving people wedding showers. Their income just doubled. Their bills just were cut in half. And they have twice as much stuff as they did yesterday. It's not fair that we proceed to buy them every gift they can scan with a little gun. There. I said it. Sue me.

I announced to a couple of the hostesses that if I turn 30 and am not married (a deadline that is quickly closing in!), I am going to have Mrs. Franklin throw me a birthday shower. Because based on the wedding shower she threw, I'd make out like a bandit! I'm registering for shoes.

2. If you don't ask for it, you're not going to get it. You can all thank Little Brother for this lesson. See, apparently throughout the whole registering process, he wanted to register for a big screen tv. Moomoos would not let him because she said no one would buy them that. Little Brother's response, "Well they sure won't if we don't register." So she finally gave it and registered.

And in comes my crazy family. Aunt Delta Dawn, Aunt Evil Knievel, and Uncle Black Belt to the rescue. These three crazy people went in together and bought that big screen. At the end of the wedding shower, I asked Little Brother if they had gotten pretty much everything they wanted. He said, "Everything but the big screen." To which Moomoos replied, "I told you we weren't getting that." That was the cue and in walked the aunts with the tv. You should have seen the look on Little Brother's face.

3. From what I can tell, the number one choice of shower gifts is....drumroll please....cookbooks. I bet you Moomoos got 57 different cookbooks that day. Everything from cookies to New Mexican to quick meals for a weeknight. Mind you, us single girls who eat Wheat Thins for dinner could use some of this knowledge too, but no one throws parties and buys us cookbooks! Of course, had I not cheated my way trough homec, maybe this would not be an issue.
4. I love a competitive child. My parents frequently tell me that I was one of these. My mom swears I wa the most competitive kid she had ever seen. So I suppose this revalation surprises no one. Here's how I learned this at a wedding shower. Little Cowboy was in charge of handing gifts to Little Brother and Moomoos to open. Some box was heavy and Connie J tried to help him, but he informed her that he was stronger than she was. Somehow (Lord only knows with those two involved!), this led to them arm wrestling in front of the entire shower....front and center. Little Cowboy, not wanting to leave anyone out, ended up arm wrestling pretty much all of the other guests at the party. Including the woman who is about a month into recovery from open heart surgery. I about died when I looked over and he had her hand in his and was pulling away.

5. Our family could not be blessed with better people in our lives. Looking around the room that Saturday afternoon, it was clear that Little Brother (and I) are surrounded by people who love us. There were women there who knew our grandmothers and remember the day were were born, and people who Little Brother met in college. Elementary school teachers and mothers of high school best friends. There were ladies from every town in the county, and several from surrounding counties. You could almost watch us grow up just by looking around the room at these women.

I've got this posted on my blog every day, but it seemed particularly appropriate today. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It took more than that for us, and for that we will forever be grateful.

Date a Girl Who Travels

"I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” ~Mary Anne Hershey

I am a firm beleiver that traveling changes people for the better. It opens our eyes to other people and other places and reminds us that somehow, we are all the same, in spite of our differences.

I didn't grow up in a traveling family, but somehow this travel bug was planted inside my soul and I'm doing my best to keep it fed! Every trip that I've taken, whether it be across the world to a village in Switzerland, inside the Sistine Chapel, in the waters of Cozumel, the vineyards of Napa, a tour of the White House, knelt down at a grotto in South Bend, or walking through Central Park, I somehow manage to find a piece of myself. One that I might not even have known was missing.I stumbled across this amazing article on Solitary Wanderer yesterday and knew that I had to share it. I wish I could write like this!

Date a Girl Who Travels

Date a girl who travels. Date a girl who would rather save up for out of town trips or day trips than by new shoes or clothes. She make not look like a fashion plate, but but behind that tanned and freckled face from all the days out in the sun, lies a mind that can take you places and an open heart who will take you for who you are, not for what you can be.Date a girl who travels. You'll recognize her by the backpack she always carries. She won't be carrying a daintly handbag; where will she put her travel journal, her pens, and the LED flashlight that's always attached to her bag's zipper. In her purse, how can she bring the small coil of travel string, the wet tissues, the box of crackers, and the bottle of water she's always ready with, just in case something happens and she can't go home yet.Yes, a girl that travels knows that anytime, anything can happen and she just has to be prepared with it. Nothing takes her by surprise; she takes everything with equanimity, knowing that such things are always a part of life. She's reliable and dependable, traits that she's learned while on the road.You’ll also recognize a girl who travels by the fact that she’s always amazed at the world around her, no matter if she’s in her home town or in a place that’s totally new. She sees beauty all around her, not just the ones featured in travel guides or shown in postcards. A girl who travels has developed a deeper appreciation for life. She won’t judge you, or pressure you to do things you don’t want to do. She knows too much about the importance of identity and self-efficacy, and she will appreciate all the more if you won’t pretend to be who you’re not. You can lie to a girl who travels and make mistakes, and you can also be as idiosyncratic as you can be. Trust me, she has seen so much worse in her travels, and knows firsthand the vagaries of human nature. Date a girl who travels, because when you’re with her, you’ll realize that even though she’s napped at a temple in Angkor Wat, went boating down the Mekong Delta, ran by the streets of Saigon, or went skinny-dipping in the caves in the Philippines, she still retains that humility that is the mark of a real traveler. She knows she’s been to a lot of places, but she’s humbled by the fact that the world is still a big place and she’s only seen a small part of it. Seeing this in her can make you feel all right with yourself too; there’s no need for you to do more, to be more. What you are is enough. When you meet a girl who travels, ask her where she’s been and what she’s going to do next. She will appreciate your interest, and if you’re lucky, she may even invite you to join her. When she does, do. Nothing bonds people better than traveling. On your trips, you will both see each other’s best and worst characteristics, and you can then decide whether she’s worth fighting for. It’s easy enough to date a girl who travels. She won’t want expensive gifts; you can buy her (or both of you) cheap tickets to Thailand for the weekend, and she’ll be more than happy to take you to the longest wooden bridge in the country. You don’t even have to go overseas; you can take her out on day trips, caving or hiking, or treat her to a full body massage. You can also buy her the little things that she keeps forgetting to buy for herself; that carabiner that will attach her backpack to her seat so that she will feel easier about sleeping on her bus trip, or a backpack cover, a small alarm clock, a money belt, or maybe another sarong that will replace the one she lost in China. She won’t mind if you get lost on your way to a date. She knows that oftentimes, the journey is more important than the destination. She will help you see the lighter side of things. She’ll walk along with you, not behind you, pointing out the interesting bits of things you’ll see on the way. Before long, you’ll realize that yes, the journey has been more memorable than the destination that you’ve planned to take her to.
Is a girl who travels worth it? Yes, she is. So when you find her, keep her. Don’t lose her with your insecurities and doubts. Because when she says she loves you, she really does. After all, she’s seen so many things, met so many people, and if she had chosen you, better grab that opportunity and thank the gods that you were lucky enough she’s chosen you and not that bloke she met while watching the sun rise in Angkor Wat, or while whitewater rafting in the Padas Gorge in Sabah. If she says she loves you, she must have seen something in you, something that can always call her back from her travels, something that can anchor her to the world in the way that she wants to after weeks and months of being on the road.Date a girl who travels. Make her feel safe, warm, and secure. Make her believe that no matter where she goes, and however long she’s gone, you’ll always be there for her, the one that she can call home. Find a girl who travels. Date her, love her, and marry her, and your world will never be the same again.

Q&A #2

“It’s never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

So today I'm answering the rest of your questions for me as a result of my Q&A blog on Monday! If you missed part one of the series, click here. You guys really outdid yourselves on these questions! Enjoy!

About what things are you most selfish?

Ha....I could write a whole blog on that. I guess it would be my time. Being single and childless sort of lets me do whatever I want with my time, and I've gotten pretty used to that. I can go on trips whenever I want and really don't have to check in with anyone. I can eat when I want and sleep when I want and watch what I want on tv. As I said yesterday, there are some benefits to being single into my late 20's and this is definately one of them.

If you could choose to know everything about one topic, what area would you choose to be an expert?
Sports. I'd totally be a college football analyst for ESPN.

Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches?

Oh wow....y'all are serious with these questions! I would take option #1. I'd prefer the comfortable, calm relationship. I've never been much for drama and craziness, I'm much happier with comfortable. So I'd go with that. I've got some friends who are in relationships that are full of drama and bickering and fighting and I think it seems exhausting. I really want to hear other people's opinion on this though!!

What convinced you to become a lawyer?

I really wish I had a good answer to this question, but I've got nothing. I think it probably stemmed from being a pretty good test taker all my life and having no direction. Law school sort of works well for both of these things.

How long do you think the horrid OSU basketball coach will last before his contract is bought out?

Hopefully sooner rather than later. I am not a fan at all. Although I did hear that he bought like 400 tickets to the women's NIT championship game and gave them to students. So now I dislike him a little less, but just being a nice guy once doesn't make up for 3 years of being a crappy coach. Not making the tourney is not acceptable.

Do you believe in love at first sight? How long does it take to fall in love?

Nope, I don't. I just think that the good part of a relationship happens after all of the akward and confusing first sight stuff is out of the way. I think that the love comes in once everyone is over trying to be something that they are not and the awkwardness of the beginning is over and you're like sitting around in your sweats on the couch some random Tuesday night. I don't think there is a magic rule as for how long that takes, but I don't think it happens at first sight.

What is the most encouraging advice or comment anyone has given you about dating/singleness/etc?

Oh wow what a great question. I don't know that I have a great answer. Hm....one thing that I will never forget was several years back when one of my guy friends told me that whoever ended up marrying me was going to be a really lucky guy. I don't know why, but the way he said it like he really meant it was super sweet and I never forgot it.

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

Interesting question, one that I think could go lots of different ways. I think that I'd find a way to make a living doing something that I really, really love. It sucks that a lot of the time we have to have our jobs in order to have our hobbies and I wish that I could find a way to mesh those together. I'd also like chocolate chip cookies to have no calories.

Do you want to have a boy or girl first when you start having kids?

Boy. All the way. My dream is life is to raise college football players. No lie.

What is your most prized possession?

Hm....another tough one! I've got a plate that has an Irish blessing printed on it that used to hang in my Gran's kitchen that now hangs in mine that means a lot to me. I've got an old garden box that my dad made with his dad before he died that my dad gave to me for Christmas a couple of years ago that's pretty special. I've got a couple of notes from people who I loved that have passed away like First Valentine and Jeans and Mr. Franklin and those mean a lot to me now.

What is your favorite quote?

I can't pick one. I mean I love quotes in general. I have so many favorites! I think if I had to choose one, I'd choose "Keep praying, but be glad that God's answers are better than your prayers."

What is the coolest place you have been to & NOT Stillwater?

Oh, Pharmer Girl, you know me so well....I would have said Stillwater! Other than that....I loved Switzerland. We stayed with Cousin Swiss Mister in a tiny, quaint village in the shores of Lake Geneva with the Alps in the background. It was like heaven. The last night we were there I remember sitting outside at a little bistro in town eating Coupe Denmark while watching the sun set and thinking that I was not sure there was a more beautiful place in the world.

Why is it that you will not set foot back in Kansas?

This one came via Flintstone, who lives in Kansas. Here's the deal---I went to a year of junior college in Kansas, and honestly didn't love it. I'm glad I went because that's where I met Flintstone and Crazy Canadian and I've got no doubt that finding them was my purpose in being there. But the rest of the experience was not stellar. Nothing good happens to me in that state, particularly on the highway. I got my first speeding ticket and totalled a vehicle both in Kansas. I refuse to return.

How long do you have to date before getting engaged or married?

Hm.....I don't think there is some magical amount of time that applies. My parents only dated for like 9 months before they got married (I also think that they are crazy, but it's worked out for 30-some years....). I've had some friends who have dated for like 5 years before they get married (I also think I would have gotten pretty dang impatient!) I'm sure it depends on the people and the situations. I do think that it's important to take the time to figure out whether you are on the same page for the long term about what you want out of life and out of a marriage before putting a ring on it.

What do you do to kill time in an airport?

College Roomie is setting me up here. The answer when I am alone is that I read and people watch. It's facinating what you see in airports. The answer when I am with College Roomie is that we walk laps of the place and count how many of the guys we see that we would date. This usually ends up in a conversation that goes something like this:

Me: "Are you kidding me, he's such a dork!"

CR: "He's not a dork, he looks nice. The guy you just picked has probably been in prison."

Me: "At least we know we'll never fight over a guy huh?"

CR: "Oh wait, guy in the green shirt at 3:00."

Me: "I take it back, I'll fight you for him right now."