My Tribe: Two Years Later...

Two years ago, 8 of my closest friends gathered in Texas to celebrate me turning the Big 3-0.  Recently, while studying this photo from that event, I was amazed at what has happened since that November night in College Station.

First and foremost, the restaurant where the photo was taken has shut down. A moment of silence, please, for the loss of my favorite taco bar, La Bodega.

And the girls smiling at the camera?  They probably hardly recognize themselves. 

There have been 5 weddings. 7 babies. 5 houses purchased. 2 major moves. 3 new jobs. Dreams have come true, trips have been taken, hairstyles have changed.....but through it all, the friendships have remained.

Life can sweep you up like a whirlwind. One minute you are sipping shakers eating tacos, the next you are up at 2 in the morning writing blog posts while rocking your baby to sleep. But when you find your tribe--friends who will stand by you through it all--you have to hang on tight. 

Thanks to my tribe. Here's to the next 2 years being even better! 

What Real Friendship Looks Like

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." ~ John 15:12-13

Over the years, I've had several friends struggle with infertility.  One, in particular, in whose journey I have been more involved than the rest.  We've talked for hours about ovulating and I've gone with her to buy pregnancy tests and I've cried for her when the result we prayed for did not come.  I've prayed Novenas and read books and just keep believing that her baby will come.

When I found out we were expecting The Baby from Texas, I was both excited and scared to share the news with her.  I know that it must feel like a knife to the heart to see other people getting what she so badly wants.  And although I've never felt that pain with regards to a baby, I sure felt it for years with regards to a shiny ring.

The one night on the phone, I decided it was time to break the news.  Timidly, I told her.

And her reaction was what real friendship looks like.

She screamed.  Then she screamed again.  Then she demanded that she be invited to the baby shower and made clear she will be coming to visit and help with the baby arrives.  What are we thinking on names?  Will we find out the gender?  Will we tell her when we find out?  This is just the best news.

I just cried while trying to keep up with her excitement and barrage of questions.

I believe that part of our purpose on this earth is to show love to others as God loves us.  My friend hit it out of the park on this one.  Selfless love.  Unconditional support.  Honest joy.

I could not be more grateful for her friendship, her Christlike example, and her love.  And I know she will make a great mom when her time comes.

But for now, she better believe I'm taking her up on the offer to help change diapers.

One of Everything

"We fool ourselves and cheat ourselves when we say that all of us are the same. We should not want to be the same as others and we should not want others to be the same as us. Rather, we ought to glory and shine in all of our differences, flaunting them fabulously for all to see! It is never a conformity that we need! We need not to conform! What we need is to burst out into all these beautiful colors!" ~C. JoyBell

Okay, for those of you impatient readers who have been asking when I will be blogging all about the wedding, here's a bit of a start on that today.  My plan is to wait until I've gotten all of the photos and the video before I really get going on this.  So let's all take a deep breath together, in......and out.  You'll be sick to death of wedding talk by the time I'm done anyway.

We served bbq brisket at the wedding reception.  Great meal for all but one, my Aggie Friend, who is a vegetarian.  So, I told my  mom we had to have one vegetarian meal at the reception.  After convincing her that she could not, "Eat the potato salad and just pick the bacon out of the beans," my mom called the caterer and made the request.  She finished her call with the following observation.  "My kids have one of every kind of friend."

And it's true.  As I looked around the reception, we really do have one of every kind of friend.  There were babies who were only months old and grandparents in their eighties.  People wore jeans, people wore heels, my High School Buddy showed up in a t-shirt and I would have expected nothing less  (unless he wore the old work shirt my dad gave him one time).   My college roommates were there, as was my dad's college roommate, and my very first childhood friend. There were criminal defense attorneys sitting across the aisle from an assistant U.S. attorney sitting across the aisle from someone who spent some time in jail (and not to visit a client).  There were Christians and atheists. People who have traveled the world next to those who have never been on a plane.  Pro-life Catholics ate cake with pro-choice Democrats.  Police officers, pharmacists, teachers, stay at home moms, and ranchers all shared the dance floor.  Several of my high school teammates were on the dance floor, as was a friend The Boy from Texas and I met less than a year ago.  People who had never ridden a horse ate brisket with people who sat in a saddle before they could walk.  My girlfriends from elementary school sat next to parents of my friends from the showing family.  College friends visited with law school classmates. There was a range of life experiences and ethnicities, and income levels.

 

And you know what?  I'm better for knowing every one of those people.  My life is fuller with them in it.  Whether they don't eat meat or have never owned a suit or have not traveled outside the county.  Thank God for our differences and for bringing this group into my life.  I am thankful each of the ones.

My Bachelorette Bash

Two days.  One lake.  Three boats.  Two jet skis.  Two houses.  Eight of my favorite girls. Three of my favorite boys.  Six of my favorite aunts and uncles.  One death defying leap off of the roof of a houseboat.  One of my favorite families.  One wicked hail storm.  One broken bikini top.  An undisclosed number of cute gifts at the lingerie shower. Two early morning runs by the lake.  Three phenomenal meals thanks to Aunt Evil Kineval and Queso.  All that adds up to the best Bachelorette Bash ever.

College Roomie taking it all in.

I love him.

These girls!

Jet ski time.

I got carsick after about 5 minutes.

Wouldn't have been a party without these two.

The bride had to do a little skiing.



This dude fell out of the boat.

LOKG rocking the cheerleader moves.

Go Pokes!

"The lake people."



My cheerleader attempt.

LOKG's leap.

They finally convinced me to go.  Please notice Mrs. Hepburn's face.

The jump.

Our amazing digs for the weekend.

I analyzed it all, held my nose, jumped like crazy and hoped not to die.  TBFT dove head first.

 


Relaxing in Big Bertha.

Group jump.

Our trusty pontoon boat Capitan.

Yes, there are boys there.  The groom included.  I've had several comments from people about how this is not right and it's not normal and it's not a bachelorette party.  Screw that.  Here's the deal, kids, I wanted to celebrate with the people who I love the most.  That includes the groom.  That includes BFF and his crazy brother.  That includes my uncles and the Hepburn men.  Ergo, they came to my party and I promise you a few Y chromosomes didn't ruin the fun.  And that's the beauty of life.....I get to make my choices and you can make yours.  Phew, let me step down off my soapbox now.

There are really no words for how loved I felt and how much fun I had at this little bash.  I had friends travel in from all across three states to be there.  We had not one, but two amazing lake houses offered to us for free.  We had multiple people come along just to drive boats and help organize skiing and tubing and swimming fun.  Also, turns out several of my friends are not "lake people" as BFF put it, but they loaded up, cinched their life jackets up and spent the day on the water because it was what I wanted to do.  Friendship at its finest.

And even BFF getting completely lost trying to find the dock, a huge hail storm we barely missed, The Boy from Texas' lost sunglasses, our failure to get a photo jumping off the roof holding hands for the wedding that said, "Taking the Plunge" and the subsequent rough morning taking engagement pictures didn't damper the fun. 

It was the best bachelorette party I could have imagined.  Thank you is not enough for all of you who helped make it so, but it's a start.

Thank You For Being His Hands and Feet

“Christ has no body now but yours. No hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands through which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.” ~St. Teresa of Avila

Last week on Facebook, I posted a status asking if anyone would help me with a card campaign for my friend who has been in jail since December.  He'll get out at the end of the month and I figured the last two weeks of his stay would go faster if he got a lot of mail each day.  I was hoping that a couple people would volunteer.

I was overwhelmed. I had 23 people offer to send cards. 23 people and not one of them had ever met my friend. People who I haven't even seen or heard from in years responded immediately.  People who I have met only a handful of times were willing to help.  They expected nothing in return but were willing to do what they could to help.  People who did not question or judge or condemn.

It's easy to get cynical about the state of the world.  We hear bad things every day.  People acting hateful, people being prejudice, people treating each other badly.  It's disheartening.

But I'm here to tell you that is not the only part of the story.  There are still good people out there.  Kind, caring, awesome people who will take the time to encourage another person in need.  I know that we're just talking about sending a little note here, but I can assure you that to my friend and to me it was so much more than that.

We're called to love.  We're called to be Jesus' hands and feet.  These people did just that.  For them, for their gesture, for their example, I am forever grateful.

What I Would Have Missed

"We have different ways of doing things, but in the ways that really matter--our hopes and heart's desires--we are more alike than different.  We live in each other."  ~Oprah

Recently I took a good look at the people in my life and realized what a variety of friends I have managed to gather up over the years.  In so many ways, they are completely different from each other, and completely different than me.

I have a vegetarian friend; I don't believe it's a real meal unless beef is involved.  Two of the absolute sweetest, kindest people I know are Mormon.  I've got friends who are Jewish and Athiest and Agnostic and Buddist and Catholic and every other Christian denomination you can think of.  And at some point in time, I have stepped into their Churches or celebrated their holidays or sat with them at a funeral.  I have friends who are Democrat and Republican, lesbian and right wing, old fashioned and who have probably burned their bras.  Like for real burned their bras. My friends are black and white and pretty much ever other color.  They are young and old and thin and round.  They have college degrees; they have dropped out of high school.  I've got some friends who hunt animals with bows and arrows, some who have manure on the majority of their shoes, and some who have never even seen a cow in person.  I'm even friends with some OU fans for crying out loud...you want to talk about open minded!

I say all of this because I've realized that had I sought out friends whose backgrounds and beliefs were the same as mine, well, I can't even tell you what I would have missed.  It's okay to love people who are different than you.  To respect them and to be kind to them and to learn from them and to be wonderful friends with them.  We are more alike than we are different.

And what I can tell you from my own life is that these people have made it---have made me---better.  I hate to think what I would have missed were I not to have found them.

Playing Catch Up...My 30th Birthday Bash

“Our friends have a way of reminding us of how fabulous we are when the rest of the world has forgotten.”  ~Mandy Hale  

Growing up, I was always a girl that was better friends with the boys.  I had a handful of girl friends from birth to high school, but always had a much larger group of guy friends.  So had you told me then that I would celebrate my 30th birthday surrounded by 10 honest to goodness, true girl friends, I would have told you that you were crazy.  But crazy is how life works sometimes, and having a birthday bash with 10 of my favorite ladies is exactly what happened.

I had girls from all different parts of my life.  Friends I met in high school and in college and in law school and a couple of years ago and within the last 6 months.  We had an age range from 19 to mid-30's.  We had single girls and married girls and one with a bun in the oven.  There were lawyers and business professionals and students.  My point is that the variety of girl friends that I have been able to collect over the past 30 years is amazing.

And even more amazing was the fact that all the girls enjoyed each other!  Mind you that none of the girls had met all of the others, although each of them had met at least one other person (sorry that sentence sounded a bit like the start of an LSAT question).  But as I watched what happened over the 2 days that we spent together, I saw everyone talking to everyone else.  When we would walk down the street, the groups of people walking together would change up.  Everyone genuinely got along with everyone else and went home with 10 new Instagram friends!  And of everything (winning OSU score and amazing gift included) that was my absolute favorite thing about the weekend.

And now, on to the details.

Everyone made their way to College Station on Friday night.  The early group arrived about 4:00 and we just hung out at my house on the patio, having a few drinks and telling stories.  Then we all got ready to go out for dinner and the late group arrived around 7:30.  At that point, they all cornered me and gave me the best birthday present ever.  Here are some  photos of that event.

Me giving College Roomie the "what did you do..."' eye

 

So then it was off to one of my favorite College Station restaurants...La Bodega.  It's an awesome taco bar where we sat on the patio, ate mounds of chips and queso/guac (they mix the two together....genius!) and tacos.  And then, of course, a strawberry tart for dessert.

All dressed up (and stuffed to the gills)

The next day Loud Oklahoma Girl, ND Friend, and I headed out for a little early morning run.  The temps were perfect and the run went so much faster with people to talk to!  Then we all dawned our matching shirts for the occasion, which read "Go Pokes" on the front and "Tiff's 30th Birthday Bash; I'm a Woman, I'm 30!" on the back.  (For those of you who don't get it, watch this.)  At that point, we headed for breakfast at another local taco place.  Are you sensing a pattern here?

From there we headed to Bucees, the most amazing gas station you've ever seen.  As we pulled up, Mrs. Arizona was on the phone.  She said, "Honey, we just pulled up to a gas station the size of Target.  I have to go."  Although I think they were skeptical, once they saw the goodness of Bucees and we left with everything from jerky to old fashioned candy to cake balls, they were all converted Bucees fans.

And then it was game time.  First time at the UT Stadium and I have to tell you, that place was freaking huge.  We were surrounded by a sea of the wrong color orange with just a few of the good guys sprinkled around.  When we scored (as we did often, GO POKES!) we would all cheer and waive the wheat and yell to the other OSU fans nearby. 

You gotta love a band that spells out BEEF in the halftime show.  Go Pokes!

I must admit, with the exception of one drunk college kid and a really grouchy lady behind us who both said we were going to get killed by Baylor (um....totally did not happen, fyi), everyone was very nice.  I got a ton of birthday wishes and no one spit on us.  Win-win-win.

Then we grabbed dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and hung out at the hotel room watching more football on tv.

On Sunday, Gonzaga Friend, ND Friend and I headed to Mass and then everyone had to go their separate ways.  But not before a few of us were able to eat green chile enchiladas and boom-boom sauce at Chuy's.  Thank you, Hometown Friend, for that intro!

And so there you have it.  Photo proof that I have the best girl friends in the entire world.