Throwback Thursday (on Tuesday) #31: Home Ec Hero

“If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.” ~ The Crow

First Valentine has been on my mind a lot here lately. Two years ago today, he passed away. He was one of those people who everyone loved, and everyone misses. But instead of dwelling on the sad, I thought I would do a little throwback (on Tuesday instead of Thursday this week) to one of my favorite First Valentine stories.

When we were in the 8th grade, we had to take half a semester of Home Ec. When I say "had to" you know it was mandatory or else I would NEVER have been in there! We only had like 15 people or so in our class, so they split us in half for the class. I was in a class with two girls and about 6 boys.

Our first project was to sew a pillow. Of course, because they were trying to teach us how to use a sewing machine (yea because that's practical...) we had to do a patchwork pillow. I still remember cutting out little squares of yellow and sunflower fabric for my pillow. That part I was able to handle without too much trouble.

Then it came time to actually sew the pillow. I got started and it was a disaster. I couldn't make the sewing machine to straight, If I did get the seam straight I would have made it too far in on the fabric so the squares were different sizes. Had the goal of the class been to learn how to use a seam ripper and start over, I would have totally nailed it.

As it was, I was about to fail Home Ec. I'm not talking like "Oh, haha Tiffany got a B" but seriously failing. That's when First Valentine took pity on me and came to the rescue. One day our teacher got called out of the room for some sort of meeting. First Valentine took the pillow away from me and sewed it all by the time she got back (mind you I worked on this for weeks and got nowhere and it took him like 20 minutes!). He saved the day (and the GPA) big time!

Now, you'd think he would have learned that I was a Home Ec failure. But when it came time to pick groups of people for the cooking portion of the class, him and two other kind boys chose me. One of them said, "This is good...she's a girl!" Little did he know!

So it was me and three boys tasked with making a mexican food dinner for the class. After I had to ask a few questions (i.e. "If the liquid and dry measuring cups both say 1 Cup, is that the same amount?" or "Is this supposed to be all lumpy?"), the boys quickly figured out my calling in the kitchen. Looking cute and chopping lettuce. They handled the tostadas, beans, rice and sopapillas. I chopped my lettuce. We all got As.

There's something special about friends who have known you since you were a kid. Friends who grew up with you and changed with you and know things about you that no one else does. Friends who support you and put up with you even when you are totally helpless and hopeless. First Valentine was one of those friends for me. I still miss him every day.

Aladin Analysis

“What makes the difference between wishing and realizing our wishes? Lots of things, and it may take months or years for wish to come true, but it's far more likely to happen when you care so much about a wish that you'll do all you can to make it happen.” ~Fred Rogers

I could have sworn a had already written a blog on this topic. But I can't find it. And my mom and one of the Oklahoma Girls, who are my most loyal readers, assure me they have not read one. So I must be dreaming. If not, and it turns out this is a re-run, I'm sorry!

College Roomie and I were talking about genies. (Please realize that during our weekly dinners we talk about pretty much EVERYTHING on the face of the earth...case in point!) You know, rub the magic bottle, wish granting genies. Like the one in Aladin. College Roomie said that she wished she had a genie for something having to do with love.


I quickly said, "Nope. He can't do that. It's against the rules." She looked at me confused and asked what I was talking about. I went on to explain to her that in Aladin, the Genie had certain rules about wishing. I think there were three. One was that you can't wish for more wishes. Another was that he can't bring people back from the dead. And the third was that the Genie couldn't make anyone fall in love with you.

She swears that she didn't remember this "love rule" from the movie. I, obviously, had it right there ready to roll off my tongue. And this is when I realized, the way we remember Aladin may be a great way to analyze our thoughts about love. Let's give it a try.

College Roomie is a romantic at heart. She's one of those girls who probably doodled boys' names on her notebook in elementary school. And College Roomie is a denier. So, for example, when I called her after I had my car accident in college and told her what happened, she repeatedly kept saying, "Noooo. Noooo. Nooooo." As if her continuing to deny this would make it not really happen. So, in order to maintain her romantic outlook and deny any chance that romance might not win out, she completely blocked this idea that the Genie can't make someone fall in love with you from her head.

I, on the other hand, am not a romantic. And I think I'm a realist. And I over-analyze everything (which shoul come as no shock if you've read this blog for any length of time at all). I think it's as much of a defense mechanism as anything--if you don't expect too much, you're not disappointed if you don't get it. So the fact that EVEN the all powerful Genie, who could do just about anything in the world, couldn't make someone fall in love with me was traumatic to learn. I'm telling you, this is haunting stuff---how am I supposed to capture Mr. Right when even the Genie couldn't do it? I lose sleep over this kind of thing!

It's funny to me that our outlooks on this real life topic completely impacted our memory of a movie that we watched when we were 7. As with most things in life, I'm sure that the correct view lies somewhere in the middle. Maybe College Roomie is a bit too far to the "Love conquers all" camp, and I'm sure I'm too far in the "Does love really exist" camp. Maybe that's why she's one of my best friends--we balance each other out.

So cross your fingers for both of us. That College Roomie's happy ending works out just like she has it planned in her head...doodles and all. And that Mr. Right will somehow be tricked into falling in love with me absent a magic spell being cast.

Family Farm Friday #28: Crystal Saved the Day!

"Our lives are all different and yet the same." ~ Anne Frank

So my week has been completely crazy.....work somehow became completely insane again and it all hit this week. I was worrying today about how I would have time to come up with a Family Farm Friday blog and get it written. Lucky for me, my friend Crystal saved the day!

She works for the American Angus Association. Yesterday she posted a great video on her blog, so I'm totally stealing it for today!

You'll see interviews with young agriculturalists from all over the world---Australia, Canada, the United States, Mexico, New Zealand. (I was particularly taken by the cute...and potentially single??... cattle/sheep farmer from New Zealand!)

They talk about their love for agriculture, the responsibility they have to take care of land and animals, and their pride and love for the legacy they are building on their family farms.



One of the interviewees probably summed it up when he said that his family was living the dream. Hard to argue with that!

Throwback Thursday # 30: Welcome Home

"Stillwater has a population of thousands, but is home to millions!"

It's been a while since I've done a good ol' "Stillwater is the happiest place on Earth" blog.....so it's definitely time! This Monday was the first week of school for the lucky folks still attending at OSU.

On the OSU facebook page (you know I'm a fan!) the message was simple. It said "Happy first day of class Cowboys and Cowgirls! Welcome home!"

I thought this was perfect. When you go to OSU, Stillwater really is home (I've discussed this before as well). There is just something about that town......it's the energy in the air and the school spirit and everyone and everything being decked out in orange. It's the friendly people who always smile and say hello whether you are walking across Library Lawn, running around Boomer Lake, or stumbling home from the Strip. It's the way that everyone is part of something, no matter how different their backgrounds---ag kids and band members and football players and math nerds and theater majors and future business owners and fashion design girls and computer geeks---they may not have anything else in common except for being Cowboys, but that's enough.

And the best part of OSU....it's not just home for the four years you are there. It's home forever. And I think it's this way for everyone, no matter the stage of life they are in. From babies like little linebacker, to crazy college students like my friends and I used to be, to twenty-something alumni who trek back for football gmaes, to the amazingly wonderful people in my church small group.....Stillwater is home.

The kids who walked onto campus for the first time on Monday are joining something special. Stillwater is where the heart is. Stillwater will always be home.

(Apparently Not) Forever 21

"Are we getting wiser, or just older?" ~ Carrie, SATC

I think I'm getting old. College Roomie and I went into the new Forever 21 store here a month or so ago to check it out. I didn't have a notebook to write down all of our comments, but here's a little taste for you.....

Me: "Does this music have to be SO loud?"
CR: "Huh? I can't hear you over the music that's bursting my ear drum!"

Me: "Do you think this is a shirt or a dress? How is it possible I have to ask this question?"

CR: "Who can actually fit into this?"

Me: "Is there anything in here I could wear to the office?"

And that's when I realized....I'm apparently not going to be forever 21. And forever apparently ended last month! Sign me up for those old lady shoes with the elastic on them and break out the mumu...

Your Wish Is My Command

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." ~Ben Stein

I'm super excited about today's blog. Those of you who were tired of Eat Pray Love week will probably not be. BUT....it's not my fault. You can blame Texas Lawyer and Coach A for their request.

Total sidenote here....I love knowing that people read my blog. Because I'm computer illitergate I can't figure out how to do the analytics to see how many people read it or from where, so please SIGN UP TO BE A FOLLOWER on the right hand side of the page under the music, make comments on the post or email me or facebook me with comments or requests. If you request a blog, I'll get right on it!

Anyway, Texas Lawyer and Coach A both wanted me to do a blog about people's words for themselves. I'll explain....in Eat Pray Love, while Julia Roberts is in Italy, her friends are discussing different words for cities that they have lived in. For example, they decided that the word for Rome was "sex" and the word for New York City was "achieve" and the word so on. When I think of a word for a city, I can't help but think of San Francisco (which is of course my favorite city...not to be confused with my love for Stillwater which is not a city in my book) and I'd say it's word is "free" because people are free to do and think and believe whatever they want there.


Then the conversation in the movie switched to words about themselves. Julia Roberts said that her word was "writer." But her friends shot her down and said that was wrong--being a writer was what she did, not who she was. She spent the whole movie trying to figure out her word. What was she? Who was she? In the end, she decided her word was "attraversiamo" which is Italian for "Let's cross over."

I've written before about using one word to describe ourselves, but the movie went further---more than describing yourself, it was about a word that told who you were. One word to describe your entire being. There's a lot of pressure on a person when she's trying to answer that question.

Not only do you have to figure out what word is yours, but then I think you also have to think about what word you WANT to be. Are we the people we want to be? Or are we at least doing somethin to move towards being those people? I sure hope that I'm moving towards being a good word in my life....

Oh, and to thank the ladies for suggesting this blog, I'll pick words for both of you as a thank you. For Texas Lawyer, I would suggest "dreamer." You have made a lot of changes and moves all to follow your dreams. For Coach A, I would pick strength. You've been through a lot and I think you're stronger than you even realize.

So...what's one word that would describe you? (YOU---this means to post a comment with the word below!!)

Postcards from Heaven

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” ~Eskimo Legend

I recently read a great book by Dan Gordon called Postcards from Heaven. I'd totally recommend it---super short, easy read. The book is made up of stories from the author's life. Each story is about a different person who he has lost--his father, his grandmother, his mother, his son. He talks about their lives, their deaths, and how he believes that these people have sent him what he calls "postcards from heaven."


Here is his description:

"Nearly all of us either have had or have heard of an experience in which a soul already departed reaches back to those of us who have been left behind in this world with a reassuring touch. Sometimes it's no more than a whisper, a familiar smell in the air, or just the feeling of presence as vivid as when the loved on was still alive. These moments are just that...moments, a glimpse behind the veil; not a letter from heaven, but a postcard...."

I absolutely loved this idea! Think about it....when you've lost someone you love, how many times have you heard a song that reminds you of them out of the blue, or smelled their cologne or perfume, or randomly ran into someone who knew that person. I know that these things have happened to me more than once and I can't tell you how touching it is.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, and I'm not going to get all sad and serious on the blog. I've said before, there are some things that are just too important for the blog. But I will tell you a couple of stories that are a little lighter and illustrate the point.

The first occurred in an airport line in New York City. I was flying back home from vacation and we were waiting in what seemed to be an un-ending security line at LaGuardia. I was wearing a t-shirt from the memorial roping that is held every year for my little brother's best friend who passed away in 2004 (you've read about him briefly before). The shirt had a picture of him on it. A woman standing a few people behind me came up and said, "I know that boy."

Now, it was early in the morning and I was worn out from running all over the Big Apple, but I was pretty sure this woman was crazy. I told her she must be mistaken because he was from New Mexico. She said, "I know. He was a cowboy and he was killed in a drinking and driving accident. I saw it on tv." And then she said his name. Okay--I was convinced! She had seen a program that his family was on for MADD about drinking and driving. Now what were the odds that two years after he died, I would wear that shirt on that day and be in that line near that woman who had watched that program. Probably not very likely....a postcard.

Another happened not too long ago. You've read before about First Valentine. Well, in the 5th grade, we had a talent show at school. It's funny, because I don't remember what anyone else did in the talent show at all....but I remember him singing a Joe Diffie song, "Junior's In Love" (by the way, I still think it's a great song so you should check it out on iTunes!). Because we're talking circa 1994, I remember having the cassette tape with this song on it and listening to it on my walkman. Sigh. The good ol' days!

Anyway.....several months ago I had gone out one Friday night with some friends. Afterwards, we all piled into one of my friend's truck and headed to get some food. He turned on his cd player and what came on but "Junior's In Love." I hadn't heard that song in years and I certainly would not have thought it was on a cd.....but there it was blaring on the stereo. With a few tears in my eyes, I told him that he'd need to play it one more time, and that we'd all need to sing along. Another postcard.

These and other postcard type experiences have meant a lot to me in my life. Believing that our loved ones are in a better place is a hope that I am so grateful to have, and one that I don't know how I could live without.

So, look around you. Pay attention. You might just have a postcard with your name on it....

EPL # 5: YOU Can Change Your Life

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

So to finish off Eat Pray Love week, I decided to try and sum up the whole point of the book/movie. In one word. Ironically, I pick a word that is not even in the title. I think the point is LIVE.

Let me explain. I think to do that, we start at the beginning. Julia Roberts is lying on the floor of her bathroom. She's lost and miserable and alone and weeping. And you know what she did? She got off the floor and changed her life.

Too often, we decide that we are somehow stuck in a place or a job or a relationship or a situation. When I hear people complain about how bad their lives are and how much they hate living where they are living or whatever it is and I just want to shake them! If you're not happy with your life, THEN CHANGE IT.

We're lucky that we live in a society where we can make these changes. There are some countries in the world where a person can't change their life. They do not have the options. They have no opportunity to be whatever they want to be, they have no money to go where they want to go, and so on and so on.

Think about Tulsi in Eat Pray Love. Julia Roberts befriends her as she is being forced into an arranged marriage. Tulsi is devastated. She wants to travel and see the world and go to school and be something different and marry someone who she falls in love with. But she can't. She doesn't have the option to change her life.

I'm not saying you should leave your spouse, quit your job and run off to jet-set around the world for a year. Most people probably do not need to take that drastic of a step in order to change their lives. (Not to mention most of us can't afford it....I read that Elizabeth Gilbert footed the bill from the advance for the book....).

But you can do something to change your life. If you hate your job, look for a new one. If you don't like where you live, move. If you have a friend or a boyfriend or whatever who is dragging you down, ditch them. If you need to take a vacation and lay on the beach for a week, book the trip.

We've only got one shot at this life thing. What a waste it is to spend our time hating what we're doing. We are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to change our lives today. That's the message of Eat Pray Love. If I had written the book, I would have added my word: Eat Pray Love LIVE. Go put it into action. Go LIVE!

EPL #4: Swim Swim Swim!

"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles overcome whilst trying to succeed." ~ Booker T. Washington

And now for Day 4, Richard from Texas strikes again. Julia Roberts was at the (I just realized I don't know what it was called.....I should have paid more attention in philosophy class in college) place in India where she studied meditation. She was sulking and complaining about how she didn't feel spiritual and she was having a difficult time.

Richard looked at her and said, "If you want to get to the castle, you have to swim through the moat."

I think that's something it's pretty easy to forget in life. Sometimes we feel like we should have the things we want right now......but guess what? Life doesn't owe us anything. We (and by we I mean most people...clearly there are exceptions....think Paris Hilton) have to work in order to end up where we want to be.

Take Cousin Kevin for example. It's easy for me to sit here at twenty something and envy Cousin Kevin. See, his life consists basically of him sitting on his porch, drinking a beer, smoking meat and watching his cows in the field. (Okay, MAYBE it's not quite that luxurious....but whatever). I would LOVE for that to be my life---the thought of not having to put on my heels and sit in front of a computer all day, but instead to be outside with my own animals on my own land all day? That would be the castle for me!

But....what I sometimes forget is that Cousin Kevin isn't twenty something. He's old. And when he was twenty something, he was working his butt off....not sitting on the front porch. He paid his dues....he swam through the moat. As much as I would like to fast forward to the castle, the moat has to come first.

So....I figure we might as well make the best of it. So I'm doing my best to enjoy my swim in the moat, while still having big dreams about reaching that castle!

EPL #3: A Happy Liver

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet." ~James Openheim

Today's story comes from page 231 of the book (I sound like a kindergarten teacher!). In the movie, Julia Roberts is discussing her daily ritual with Ketut. She explains that she gets up, then mediates, and then she comes to see Ketut. He makes a couple of subtle changes. One of those changes is to her meditation.

He says that the meditation she learned in India is fine, but it's too serious. So after she does her serious meditation, then she should meditate while smiling. And then he tells her to "Even smile in your liver!"


You know, I think there is something to that. Think about those people who you know that are always happy. They are always smiling and cheerful and genuinely seem to be in a good mood and to love their lives. I bet it's because they smile in their livers.

I love happy people. And I think for the most part I am one.....don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't have my moments......I'm saying for the most part. I've always been someone who makes the best out of the situations that I end up in. I think for some people this comes naturally. For others, I think that it might take a little more work.

I think the idea of trying to smile while you are doing something else is probably a great way to cultivate more happiness in your life. Now, I'm no meditator. When I go to hot yoga and the make me lay still at the end of class my mind goes 100 miles an hour and I cannot wait for someone else to move so that I can get up and get going! And I'm also not a morning person. Whatsoever. I have it down to a science how late I can stay in bed and still make it out the door to work in time. So....you're not going to be reading anytime soon about me sitting around in the mornings smiling with my liver.

Instead, I'm going to just try and smile more throughout my day---be it sitting in my office or when I'm walking around the office, when I'm at the gym and even when I'm talking on the phone. My good friend Robyn recently wrote a book that will be out sometime soon (don't worry....you'll all know when it's available!) and she explains that you can tell when someone is smiling even on the other end of the phone. This simple act can brighten the day of the person on the other end of the call, and will probably brighten yours as well!

So.....Ketut says to smile with our livers. And I'm going to listen to anyone who is 109 years old. Or 65. He can't remember. :)

(photo courtesy Oprah.com)

EPL #2: Head or Heart?

"And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, evolve some distant day into the answer." ~Rainer Maria Rilke

At the beginning of Eat Pray Love (page 27), Ketut, the medicine man from Bali, gives Elizabeth the drawing of a prophesy for her life. It is of a being that has no head. Instead, the eyes are located in the chest area. The reason for this, he explained is, "you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."


This completely contradicts another quote that I read a while back. That quote is, "If any part of your uncertainty, is a conflict between your heart and your mind - follow your mind."

Now.....my question for today is....which one is it? Should a girl follow her heart or her head?
I've realized in the last week or so, that this comes up more often than a person thinks. Apparently it's not just in movies! People in real life (not me...so don't start emailing me and quizzing me about this) sometimes have to pick between the guy who is right in their head and the guy who is right in their heart. People in real life sometimes have to pick between the job their head says to take and the job their heart says to take. The list goes on and on. At some point, I venture to say that all of us have to make a decision between following our heads and our hearts at least once in our lives. How do we choose?

In the fairytale/romantic comedy world, the girl almost always goes with her heart. (Reese Witherspoon always chooses Jake instead of Andrew in Sweet Home Alabama.) But sometimes the people in movies do the wrong thing in my book. (You may remember a prior mention of my refusal to accept the ending of My Best Friend's wedding.)

I think that we like the romantic notion that we find in following our hearts. But in real life, is this as good of an idea? Sometimes, should the more practical voice win out sometimes? Maybe this is one of those questions that you can't answer until you're in the situation. Maybe the answer depends on the situation you are in. Maybe there is no answer.

As shocking as this is, I don't know my opinion on the subject. As cute as Ketut is in the movie, he hasn't sold me on the "follow your heart" theme. I have no answer to all the sentences above that begin with question marks. But I'm interested to know what everyone thinks on this issue.

Should we follow our head, or our heart?

(photo courtesy blogz.org)

EPL #1: A Destiny of Love

"An act of love, a voluntary taking on oneself of some of the pain of the world, increases the courage and love and hope of all." ~ Dorothy Day

Here goes Eat Pray Love week!

In the movie (and in the book on page 149 for those of you who want to follow along and see more context), Richard from Texas befriends Elizabeth Gilbert (who he calls "Groceries" because she eats more than anyone he's ever seen) while they are both studying meditation in India. One day, they are discussing Elizabeth's struggles and pain and her broken heart. She laments over the fact that she truly loved her ex husband.

Richard looks at her and says, "Groceries, I think you have the capacity to love the whole world. It's your destiny."

I loved the idea of this the moment the words came out of his mouth. What a beautiful thought---that someone could have enough love inside them to love the whole world. And that something this amazing could be a person's destiny.

This isn't some new idea....this is exactly the destiny that Jesus calls us to. He explains that there are three things that last forever: faith, hope and love. Of these, love is the greatest. (1 Cor. 13:13) He instructs us to love our neighbor as ourselves. (Matthew 22:36-40)

I think that sometimes, we are selfish with love. We think of the world "love" and our minds go directly to Mr. Right and our beautiful wedding dress and happily ever after. I blame society for putting all of this pressure on people about marriage and "falling in love." But what if, instead of just focusing on one person when we think about love, we focused on the world?

After that line, I feel the need for some disclaimers to keep the phone calls and emails at bay. First off, I'm not talking about polygamy....I can see a few of my friends hearing me talk about not focusing on loving one person and picturing me living in the mountains with a guy who has three wives. Not the point, people, not the point. Second, I'm not saying that we should not fall madly in love with Mr. Right (goodness knows I plan to when he finds his way out of the forest) and have the beautiful wedding dress and happy ever after.

What I'm saying is.....what if we have even MORE love to give? What if within us, we have the capacity to show love to the whole world? How different would our lives be if we accepted this challenge? How different would the world be?

We can make small changes in this direction. Speak to people in the elevator. Smile at someone when you pass them on the street. Volunteer for causes that are close to your heart. Send your friends a card or a quick phone call to let them know you are thinking about them. Pray for the people in the world who are hurting. All of us have the ability to do this type of things in our lives every single day.

I like to think that Richard from Texas was onto something. That maybe we all have the capacity to love the whole world. Think of the kind of place the world would be if that really is our destiny.

Eat Pray Love Week

"I want to go some place where I can marvel at something!" ~Julia Roberts, Eat Pray Love

So I don't blog on the weekends, but I wanted to let everyone know that it's going to be Eat Pray Love week! I loved the book by Elizabeth Gilbert after I read it years ago. I feared that the movie wouldn't live up to my expectations.....but with Julia Roberts....I should have known better! The movie was fantastic and gave me several blog ideas.

So get ready--this is going to be Eat Pray Love Week!

Family Farm Friday # 27: Putting the Squeeze On Love

"It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you." ~Anon.

As a single lady, I worry periodically about how I'll recognize Mr. Right and differentiate between him and all of the Mr. Wrongs that seem to come in and out of my life! Well, being a farm girl, I feel like farming and ranching analogize are helpful in pretty much every area in life. When I found one for knowing if your relationship will last, I knew right away I had to share! (And knowing the knock down drag out screaming fights my family gets into doing this very task, I firmly beleive this is true!) I read this great article by Gary Hodgson about finding true love---cowboy style.

I recently stumbled onto what probably is the most important discovery of our century. It's nothing insignificant like the fountain of youth, a cure for the common cold or intelligent life on Mars (or in Washington DC). Nope, I've really discovered something. I've discovered the secret to a long, happy marriage. If couples contemplating marriage will follow my directions, they will know immediately if they are marrying the right person. My secret?

A SQUEEZE CHUTE!

Yep, those hinged, noisy, finger-pinching, knuckle-rappin', labor saving devices mark the hidden path to marital bliss. Forget showers for the prospective bride that only give her the impression that her towels will always match and her life will always have a place for a cappuccino machine. Discontinue bachelor parties where the groom gets the idea he'll still be able to get together with his buddies once in a while to have a wild "boys night out" without suffering dire consequences.

Instead of these time-honored and totally misleading traditions, here's my plan. Weeks before the wedding, before the invitations have been printed and the church reserved, assemble the bride, groom, and about 70 uncooperative crossbred cows and one of the industry's best squeeze chutes.

The goal: With no outside help, let the two lovebirds process the cattle through the chute. Once this has been done, if they're still speaking to each other, this marriage will last.

In short, all the problems a couple can encounter in life will be addressed right then and there.

First, there's the question of authority. Who will be in charge? The boss, you see, gets to run the chute. The submissive partner brings the cattle up the alley to the chute.

Once that issue has been addressed, there's the question of forgiveness. There'll be one old cow that does not want to go up the alley to the chute. She fights, bellers, and flings all kinds of bodily fluids over the one trying to coax her up the alleyway. Finally, after risking life and limb, the cow charges up the alley and right out of the chute. The "boss" on the head gate will likely miss her. How's the old forgiveness test going?

Also there are lessons concerning compatibility to be learned. An aggressive "type A" personality on the chute won't be satisfied with the performance of a laid back "type B" bringing the cattle up. Hollering "more cattle" about 11 times usually brings a premature halt to the test proceedings.

I know this system works. Not that long a go, I helped my oldest daughter and her husband work cattle at their feedlot. I was impressed at how well they worked together all day long. (He runs the chute; she always has one ready to enter). Those two will make it way past Valentine's Day.

My first wife and I worked cattle together. That's probably why I must distinguish between first and second when speaking of wives. My present partner in life and love helped me put 400 yearling heifers through a chute on one of our dates. Any gal who could stand that is okay by my book. I ran the chute, but she told me how. That's pretty much still our system and it's a good one.

So, the next time you see a couple looking all gooey-eyed at each other, don't buy them a toaster; get 'em a "Powder River" squeeze chute instead!

(photos courtesy citizendia.com)

Throwback Thursday #29: County Fair

"When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood." ~Sam Ewing

Well, it's the second week in August, which means my favorite smell is in the air.....sawdust and Revive. That's right, it's county fair time! I'm not going to make it back to my county fair for the first time, well, probably in my whole life, but for sure for the first time in 17 years, when my showing career began in the sheep show ring at that fair. So, blogging about it seems appropriate.
Those of you who didn't grow up showing probably won't understand this, but showing at the county fair is something that just sort of gets in your blood. Back in the glory days, there were so many kids showing that we'd pack the bleachers every Tuesday afternoon to listen to Weezer tell us to feed our hogs before the Ladies Lead, not to feed in the barn, and to be sure we had our pens cleaned out by 9:00. It was amazing to look around and see how many showers there were just in our own county.

Friendships are made at county fairs that last forever. BFF and I met at the county fair 17 years ago, and I think it's safe to say that relationship isn't going anywhere! The best part is usually these friendships are with people from different schools. To this day I'll run into someone from another high school and people will be baffled at how I could have been such good friends with someone from another town. A lot of the times, the answer involves the county fair.

And when you made friends at the fair, you didn't just make friends with the kids showing, but you made friends with their parents and ag teachers too. This is where your real "showing family" bonds got started. When we were showing, we were lucky. We had a group of people "in our corner" who were (and still are) like one big disfunctional family. We had to have our showboxes together. We knew which was the lucky can of Revive and which was the lucky halter. We had rules, like no one besides us, Rusky, Mr. F and Wade were ever allowed to touch our lambs. And we had showing family in other barns as well. I can't tell you how many times I ran a blower or was the official breaker flipper for the Perez brothers! It was great to know that you'd always have your showing family behind you.

Lots of fun is had at the county fair. Water fights on the washracks, playing cards in the pig barn (this is probably way better now that the pigs are all fat and full and happy instead of starving to death like back in my day!), shooting the breeze in a circle around someone's show box, dances on Friday night.....these are some of my favorite memories of my childhood.

It wasn't all fun and games, don't get me wrong. The fair was hard work and fierce competetion. There were years when my brother and I would have over 20 animals at the fair and about the time you got done watering pigs, it was time to drench sheep, and then it was time to water pigs.....and the cycle never ended. It was worth it though if you took home that banner at the end of the show.

Then there was also the family bonding. One example is how my brother and I developed a little sign language all our own for coaching each other in the ring. My parents were always really supportive of my brother and I, and right in the middle of the fair fun. Working concession stands, sheering lambs, trying to keep everyone calm on the pig washrack....the parents had it pretty rough. The phrase "washrack moment" was coined at the county fair in about 2000 or so when my brother smarted off and wound up in a choke hold by my father up against the washrack. There were probably 15 people out there or walking by, and no one blinked. They all knew...they'd been there before! (Oh, and let's not forget the yearly family photo....example below!)

So there you have it. Hopefully those of you who didn't grow up showing will take advantage of your county's fair and go check out the animals. Hopefully those of you who did grow up showing appreciate the experience as much as I did. I wouldn't trade those days of walking around with wet shoes, a sunburned face, feeling completely exhausted and being covered in dirt for anything. They made me who I am today.

Well Tiffany Would

“It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!” ~Carrie, SATC

One of the female partners at my law firm was talking to me last week and made a comment that really cracked me up. She had been out of town the week before at a concert with one of our paralegals and one of our secertaries. They were shopping and the partner found a really cute pair of shoes. She told the other women that she really wanted to buy them, but she just didn't know if she could wear them to the office. Their response made my day. The other two women replied, "Well Tiffany would!"

Now, you have to understand four things about me to realize why this is so funny.
1. Growing up, I was the definition of a tomboy. I hated dresses and heels and bows and anything else frilly. I would say that at LEAST 90% of junior high and high school was spent wearing jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes. The thought that anyone would comment on MY fashion sense is hilarious.
2. I'm cheap. It's true. I can promise you that I have NEVER spent more than $50 on a pair of heels.....or any other shoes with the exception of tennis shoes or cowboy boots. I'll never own a pair of Jimmy Choo's (not becuase I don't think they are awesome) but the bottom line is I would never pay that much money. Instead, I frequent Kohls and Payless and love the fact that people enjoy my cheap-o shoes!
3. I have huge feet. It's amazing really. I was meant to be tall---my feet are a great indication of this. But sadly, something went terribly went wrong and I'm 5'3. With feet that are a double digit size. And this can REALLY make shoe shopping an un-fun experience. In stores organized by sizes, I can never shop with my friens--they are over in the size 7 section--and I'm over on the end of the building with all the tall girls! The worst part is the lack of options for shoes. I rarely go into a shoe store and look first at the shoes---I start by looking at the boxes and see which ones are my size. I don't want to waste time or fall in love with a pair that won't fit.
4. I hate shopping. I know, I know.....I'm not a good female for this. But I do. I don't mind going into a store and buying what I want to buy, but I HATE spending hours looking around and browsing around. My mom could do this all day.....I can't last an hour without getting grouchy. So the fact that I have managed to accumulate a cute shoe connection is pretty darn impressive.

Anyway, I'm quite proud of the "Well Tiffany Would" comment, especially in light of these things. And I'm telling you, I do love my shoe collection! (I realize that this comment could well have been an indication that I need to tone down my shoes for the office....but I'm assured that was not the case!)

A Little Survey...For Old Time's Sake

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.” ~ Unknown

A couple years ago, I did away with my myspace account. Everyone pretty much was on facebook and myspace seemed like more work and also seemed less secure. The one thing I miss is the surveys that people used to post. They were a lot of fun. So today when I found someone doing one of these type of surveys on a blog I read, I had to join in! Feel free to answer on your own blog, or in a comment below! (Oh, and I filled this out on Sunday...just in case there is any confusion as to why I'm home....no, I have not been fired!)
Favorites:

Song- Amarillo by Morning (George Strait) and Feet Don't Touch the Ground (Stoney LaRue)

Color- OSU Orange (was there really any doubt?)

TV Show- MASH, Friends, Friday Night Lights (You will notice that I never follow the "pick one" rule)

Movie- Rudy, A League of Their Own, Remember the Titans, Steel Magnolias, Driving Miss Daisy



Food- Mexican and Italian. Oh, and chocoate chip cookies.


City- San Francisco


Place- My parents' ranch and the tiny restaurant by the lake in Cully, Switzerland


Vacation- The European adventure 2009

Fill in the blank:

Outside my window: The sun is shining.

Today I feel: Blessed.

I am thinking: About whether my hair looks okay to go to church without washing it.

I am going to: Church (verdict: hair okay!)

I am wearing: Tank top and basketball shorts.

I wish: That grown ups still got off for summer!

I am reading: Postcards from Heaven (a blog will be coming soon!)

I am working on: NOTHING whatsoever! Yay for the weekend!

I am hearing: My itunes Texas Country playlist.

Around the house: Everything is clean and put away.

I am excited about: Homecoming at OSU in October!!

I bet you didn't know: I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" for no apparent reason (seriously, I hate shopping, I don't love weddings, I'm not getting married anytime soon, and I'm totally not girly....I have no idea.)

One of my favorite things to do: Watching college football (ONE MONTH until kickoff!)



What would you do if:


You won the lottery? Travel and take my friends and family fun places!


You could chose one person to have dinner with? Mr. F, Gran, Levi


You could go anywhere in the world? More countries in Europe that I didn't get to visit last time.


Could have any job in the world and make millions doing it? Reporter for ESPN. Or a rancher. Or both. :)


You knew this was your last day on earth? See the people I love the most. And eat a lot!

Would Jesus Be?

“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." ~François de la Rochefoucauld

I listened to a great sermon online from a church back in Stillwater this weekend and it was all about being single. (Yes, I know.....I don't live in Stillwater anymore, but darn it, it's not just the happiest place on earth but it also has some of the best churches on earth too....so I'm not giving that up!)

One of the main points was that it's a total misconception that girls who are single are incomplete until they find Mr. Right. I hate this "incomplete" idea---and it's one of the reasons I never use the term "other half" when talking about two people in a relationship. I think that it's a fundamental mistake to think that any boy is going to "complete" you. I certainly think that they can support you, love you, compliment you, work well with you, etc. But I think that looking for them to complete you just leads to serious problems down the road.

Just because my Mr. Right is apparently lost somewhere in the woods doesn't mean that my life is incomplete or on hold until he gets there. (P.S. -- If you see him out there, for crying out loud give that boy a map or something!)

As I've blogged about before, I refuse to wait to do something I want to do until I'm married. Nope---my life is going on right now, thank you very much! And I must say that I'm having a pretty spectacular time living it!

Now don't get me wrong, when Mr. Right heads this direction and sweeps me off my feet, I'll make room for him in it, but in the mean time, I'm not pushing pause on things and waiting around for that day to come!

Anyway, the best part of the sermon was when the pastor told a little story about his own experiences being single in seminary. He was about to graduate and applied for several different jobs at different churches. One was as an assitant pastor at a church in Florida. The church sent him a letter back, informing him that he was not fit to be a pastor because he was not married. Apparently the church beleived that to even be an elder in the church, a man had to be married and have children.

In response, the pastor said he really wanted to write back with a simple question: "Would Jesus be qualified, then?" (He took the high road and didn't write back.....but I sure wish he would have!!) Now I've written before about good comebacks to the whole "why aren't you married question, but this pastor takes the cake!

Family Farm Friday #26: They Raise Families

"The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you." ~Kendall Hailey,

Well as you read about in the last Family Farm Friday blog, our family's Centennial Celebration got off to a rousing start with the Friday night family time.

For lunch on Saturday, the whole community came out to join in the celebration. We had brisket and everyone brought a side dish to share. Let me just tell you....country women can cook!

And then to top it all off, we had the best cake I have ever tasted. Now, trust and believe that I have eaten my fair share of cake, but this one was seriously amazing. It was almond cake with the best icing ever---seriously, I bet I ate half of the giant sheet cake!

During this time, Great Uncle was presented with a plaque by the Lovington Historical Society that my Dad designed. It recognized our family as being stewards of the land for 100 years. It was a pretty special thing.

After the luncheon and before the dance was sort of some down time. Everyone did different things---some people played cards, some visited more, some took naps to rest up for the dancing that was coming. I engaged in the napping, but also took a little road trip. When I was about 9, one of my neighbors married a girl who grew up in Tatum. Their wedding reception was at this huge, fancy house just outside of town--and I remembered that the owner of the house had the biggest ring I had ever seen in my whole life.

I was pretty excited when I heard the owner would be coming to the lunch because I really wondered if this ring was as big as I had remembered, or if I was just really little and had exaggerated it. Well, the owner didn't end up wearing the ring to the Centennial, but she did take me back to her house for a little tour and to see the ring. Turns out, it was as big as I remembered....10 karats. It's like a golf ball....and I got to wear it around for a few minutes! Why I didn't think to take a picture is beyond me. Bad, blogger!

Anyway, once all of that was over with, we had a little jam session in the front yard. One of my musical cousins and his roomate are in a band. So, they played for an hour or so. Everyone just gathered up a beer and a lawn chair and listened to the music.

And then, it was time. I mentioned last week that my family likes to dance. We particularly like to dance when George Strait is singing. I personally have a rule that I do not sit when George is singing. While the rest of the family may not have the same strict policy, they certainly do seem to get up and on the dance floor when the King comes on!

The one other story that needs shared involves a great family friend, Mr. Fish. My brother and I showed pigs with his kids growing up, and as I frequently mention on this blog, that means you're like family. While we were standing around waiting for dinner, we were shocked to see Mr. Fish walk up to our family reunion. Turns out, he's dating one of our distant cousins. Funny to think he might literally be family one day! Anyway, back to the dancing....it always goes back to the dancing...Mr. Fish, having to always be the center of attention, requested several song dedications....one for his girlfriend, one for one of his buddies, etc. I commented that he was making everyone else look bad because no one else was getting songs dedicated to them. I should have known better.

Next thing I know, I'm called to the dance floor with Mr. Fish and he's dedicated a song just for me.....Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar blasts on the speakers and here he goes to dancing. We made it MAYBE through half of the song before I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand up anymore. (And FYI--I'm not Heartbreaker, despite whatever he says!)

All in all, it was a great weekend. Farms don't just raise crops and livestock--they raise families. I think that our little place in Caprock has been pretty successful at that.

Throwback Thursday #28: Ag College Compliments

"Wouldn't give a nickle to have it paved in gold...everything I love is at the end of a dirt road!" ~Josh Abbott Band, End of a Dirt Road

In case you have missed this about me, I love OSU. I also love the ag college. And I love ag college boys. (Well, I should clarify....since I'm getting old now, I should say I love ag college alums!) :) These boys know how to treat a lady right. They have manners, they wear cowboy hats and button up shirts, they drive trucks, they talk about cattle....sigh. And most of them love Jesus, their mama and OSU football!

They are a little different breed. Some girls may not appreciate this. For example, they always track manure into the house, they keep Purple Circle magazines and bull semen catalogues in the bathroom, sometimes their idea of a date involves going to a livestock auction and eating pie at the sale barn.....country girls dream about this stuff, but to other girls, I realize it might be a bit strange!

And....for the point of this blog.....they can give you pretty strange compliments and use pretty wierd pick up lines. Here are my two favorite examples.

BFF and I went to college together at Oklahoma State. I've known him since I was 9 years old and he's hands down one of my favorite people in the entire world. One night, we had been studying and were going out to the Penny. On the way, BFF looks over at me and says, "Tiff, if you were a cow, I'd flush you!" My heart melted. Ag college girls understand...the rest of you probably have no clue what he's talking about.

See, when you flush a cow, you basically take a bunch of her eggs, and she's called the donor cow. Then you fertalize the eggs and implant them into the uterus of other cows, called recips. The point of all this is to get a bunch of calves out of your best cow in a year by having other cows carry her babies---like surrogacy--instead of just getting the one calf per year from her. So, when BFF said he'd flush me (or you might remember him saying his word for me was "donor"), he was saying I was the best cow! And that's what best friends are for.

(Now....I'm no dummy....I figure he was probably trying this line out on me before he used it to pick up some girl. I've never asked BFF's GF, but I wouldn't be shocked if she was told this as well! And she deserves to hear it!)

And for my second example, we'll use one of the Animal House Boys, Pig Farmer. You've read his wife's great blog comment before. College Roomie and I went out one night with the Animal House Boys to College Days, which is a great outdoor concert at the Tumbleweed in Stillwater--similar to Calf Fry, but in the Spring and not as big. So there we are, dancing and listening to music and drinking some WAY over-priced beer. College Roomie and I were sitting on the grass when Pig Farmer walks up. He looks at us, winks and says, "You two girls, you're class winners!" And the heart melts again.

I'll explain this one to my non-ag college friends as well. See, when you judge livestock (it's a competetion that you can compete in from the time you're like 6 years old in 4-H until you're a senior in college) you have four animals in a class. Then, as the judger, you place them from first to last. So, for an example, if you had 4 steers....you want to find the one that is the best market (i.e. to be slaughtered for meat) animal. To make this as easy as possible, you put the heavy muscled fat one first, and the light muscled skinny one last. So the best steer is the class winner. When Pig Farmer called us class winners, he was saying that we were the best girls.

(Similar note---Pig Farmer is a sweet talking Texan who married a girl that is beyond fabulous--so he best have used this line on her because as far as a match for him, Pig Farmer's Wife isn't just a class winner, she's a Grand Champion!)

So there's a little flashback on some great ag college moments. You ag college boys that might be reading might want to keep these in your back pocket and try them out.

You ag college girls looking for guys to say these things.....I'm right there with you....we'll keep waiting for someone to call us donor cows and heavy muscled steers together!

99 Cents at a Time

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." ~Berthold Auerbach

I love music......all music really. I listen to a little bit of everything. And I have been buying several new songs lately on iTunes. Well, I forget that you have to pay for that stuff!! I know it's just 99 cents a time (or some of the newer songs are 1.29 per time....darn inflation!) but when you don't think about it and just buy every song you like on the radio, it can add up. So, I'm grounded for a while. (Luckily, one of the Oklahoma Girls is making me a cd with all of her Miranda Lambert songs....I'm totally into her right now! Of course, I have been for a while since her guitarist helped me get a check mark.)

Anyway, I figured I'd share my latest 10 purchases. I'd love it if you guys would share your current favorites so that when I unground myself, I have a list of new songs ready to buy! :) You can click on the links below for a listen if you're interested.

1. Airplanes (BOB feat. Hayley Williams)....you've probably heard this all over the radio. Favorite line: Could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now!"

2. Jesus I am Resting, Resting (Various Artists) Great old worship song that was played at church here recently. Favorite line: Jesus, I am resting, resting in the joy of what Thou art.

3. Wild and Young (American Bang) Awesome song about living and loving and being young! Favorite line: What you in a hurry for? Slow it down. We are wild and young and we have just begun!

4. Ridin' Solo (Jason Derulo) I have probably played this 100 times in the last two weeks since I discovered it...great single anthem! Favorite line: I'm feelin' like a star, you can't stop my shine. Lovin' cloud nine my head's in the sky!

5. Cooler than Me (Mike Posner) Love this one on the running playlist....I think it's funny! Favorite line: I used up all of my tricks I hope that you like this but you probably won't you think you're cooler than me.

6. One Woman (Randy Rogers Band) A girl has to have some red dirt country!! Favorite line: One woman, you for me. I know that you're all I ever need. Forever beside you spending my life loving one woman.

7. Haven't Met You Yet (Michael Buble) Sigh. Where is this boy in my life? Favorite line: I know someday that it will all turn out....I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I'll get, I just haven't met you yet!

8. Airstream Song (Miranda Lambert) Love love love it! Thanks to one of the Oklahoma Girls who sent me this as a ring tone for my new phone. Favorite line: Sometimes I wish I lived on a mountain, drank from a stream instead of a fountain, I'd stay there on top of the world, but I was born a red dirt girl! (And I got in a fight about this, but I do consider myself a red dirt girl--may not have been born there, but it's home too!)

9. Heavenly Day (Patty Griffin) You can hear this if you unmute your computer as you read my blog! My friend Mettie introduced me to this over the weekend and I love it! Favorite line: All that we really have to do is have ourselves a heavenly day, lay here and watch the trees sway.....

10. So Are You to Me (Eastmountainsouth) What can I say? It's wedding season and I'm sappy! Favorite line: As the wind blows over the plains, so are you to me.

Scary Monsters

"I think one of the biggest reasons we don’t take the action we really want to take is because we build this monster up in our head. Whether it’s doing all the laundry that has accumulated, making that difficult phone call or getting back into an exercise routine, 100% of the time when we attack the monster, be it the “laundry monster,” “exercise monster,” or whatever else it might be, it’s never as scary as we think it’ll be. The monster is never as scary as it seems!" ~Adam Gilbert

I know today's quote is long, but it's what the whole blog is about, so go ahead and read it. I know half of you skipped it when you saw it was over two lines! :)

Think about the things in your life that are scary and daunting and overwhelming. I totally understand where this guy is coming from. (Although, I don't know that laundry has ever been in the "monster" category for me...) We build things up so much in our head, and worry so much about how hard it will be or what might go wrong, that we let the scary monster hold us back.

BFF put this into a different perspective that I want to share. He explained it in a sports-related form. He knows me too well! He said, "Tiff, you're acting like this thing is third down and 15. In reality, it's second down and 5. Put the Hail Mary playbook away and relax!"

In reality, the odds are that the thing we fear is so much less scary than we make it in our heads. Usually, the things we fear could be overcome if we just faced our fears and did what was scary. I realize that's much easier said than done, but I know that at least for me, I'm going to try and forget the scary monsters. I don't want to let my head hold me back from things that I want to do and have and experience in my life. Life is too short (or maybe too long in some people's minds...) to let fears hold us back from what we want.
So just like little kids have to get over the monster under the bed, we have to get over the monsters in our heads. I figure the best way to handle this task is one step at a time.....so get out there, start stepping, and slay those monsters!

Investing

"Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things." ~Author Unknown

This past weekend I went to an amazing wedding of an old friend here in town. It was a perfect day....and one so deserved for the bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Court. One of the most amazing parts of this wedding was listening to other people talk about the bride and groom.
The room was full of their friends----I've never been to a wedding with more young people in attendance. I would say that 2/3 of the guests were between 25 and 35. It was amazing to see the friendships that Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Court have been able to build....and sustain! These people flew across the country (and some from across the world) to be there for this day. I wondered what they had done to get so many great friends who were so committed to their friendships that they would make an effort to be at this wedding.
The other guests at the wedding all talked about how both Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Court had really invested in their friendships. To do this, Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Court made it a point to stay in touch, to send quick notes and cards, to pick up the phone and call, to always be there with encouraging words. Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Court know how to be great friends.

I love this idea of investing in friendships. I feel like I've been fortunate and blessed beyond belief with the friendships I have in my life. I have some friends from each chapter in my life who are each important to me. I have known some friends since I was a little kid and have made new friends in the last year, and have friends from each chapter in between!
But it's hard sometimes to keep these friendships going. Everyone is busy with work or families or traveling or just life in general. People's lives take different paths and it's really easy to lose touch with your friends from different chapters. All of a sudden, you may not have as much in common with them as you used to. You may not see them as much (or at all) anymore.

But I really believe that when friendships are important to you, and you love the people in your life, you have to make an effort---you have to invest---in these friendships. You have to invest your time and effort and attention and yourself in order to keep these relationships going.
I know for me, my friendships are one of my biggest sources of joy in my life. These people love me unconditionally. If there is one thing that I know I will continue investing in, this is it. The return is absoutey priceless.