New Roomie's Birthday Request

“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.” ~Elizabeth Lesser

Today is New Roomie's birthday.  She's turning 24.  (And she should seriously start a blog, but she's too busy doing Engineering math homework that literally has so many letters, her friend thought it was German homework.)

Me and New Roomie with BFF and Mr. FFA

Obviously knowing that I can't cook and am completely uncrafty, she didn't ask me to bake a cake or make her anything from paper mache.  She did, however, ask if I would write a letter with advice to myself at 24.  Well seeing as how I seriously love doing these kind of letters and 24 was not an age I've done yet (I previously have posted letters to myself at 16, 18, and 20), she's getting her birthday request.  The fact that she now is in a similar place in her life as I was at 24 (in graduate school, single, had a great college experience, great friends and family, etc), hopefully the advice I'd give to myself will prove useful to her as well.


Dear 24-year-old-Tiffany,

This chapter in your life, in many ways, is one of transition.  You've closed the book on your college chapter, although you couldn't imagine leaving that place and those people behind.  You've settled into your new home and new chapter, although there were times when you couldn't imagine ever being comfortable here.  You've let go of the fear and uncertainty that comes with something new and now have settled into a routine.  As you go forward, here are a few bits of advice.

Me and the girls circa age 24

Slow down and appreciate the now.  It's easy to look at a chapter of transition as something to just get through--eyes on the next goal, the cap and gown and the new job and the (hopefully large) paycheck those things will bring.  And similarly, it's easy to compare the chapter of transition to the past to which it can never live up.  But there is value, real value, in this in between where you now live.  Soak that in.  Appreciate the things that you have the chance to learn and see and hear and experience.  The truth is, the future may not be exactly what you have pictured and you probably only remember the best parts of the past.  Don't be so busy looking forward or looking back that you miss out on the good that is now.

Believe that love will find you.  I know that it's hard to believe this.  I know you feel alone and unlovable and like you'll never be good enough.  And what's worse?  You feel like the only one.  Your fridge is covered in wedding invitations and baby announcements and it feels as though every other girl on the planet has the things that you long for.  I'm no expert in spiritual warfare, but I'm about 99% sure that these feelings are what the devil uses to get in your head and screw you up.  You have to believe that love will find you.  Ignore all of the stupid people and their stupid comments that make you feel inferior, try to suppress your urge to smack the next person who says "you'll find him when you stop looking," and don't let your own doubt take over.  It's going to take time (more than you want) and it's going to be hard (harder than you want), but it's going to be worth it (more than you imagine).  Oh, and if you don't believe me, the Randy Rogers says that love finds you, so there ya go.

Really learn something in your classes.  You understand how to play the game as it is, meaning that you know how to ace a test.  But later in your life, you'll wish that you had taken the time and put in the effort to really learn the material, to remember it and think about applying it and really retain the information that you are given.  I'm not sure the best way to do that, but if you can figure it out, you'll be miles ahead in the future.

Take the time to get to know the people around you.  Law school has placed so many amazing people in your path.  People who are smart and passionate and driven and brilliant.  People whom you likely never would have met had you not been in this very place.  Don't get so caught up in the stress of school---the outlines and the tests and the opening argument---that you miss getting to know the people.  And don't let the competitiveness that people assume has to come with the territory take over your life.  You will leave law school with friends of different races, cultures, backgrounds, religions, you name it.  You'll be in their weddings and hold their babies and celebrate in their joys and cry in their grief.  And one day, you'll realize that the people you met were worth more than any letter on a report card.  Heck, thanks to you College Roomie marries one of these people of whom you speak.  She'll vouch for this one.

Take chances.  Apply for job at the high powered law firm that no one believes you can get.  And when you get it, live it up.  Take the vacation.  Plan the post-bar trip.  See the Sistine chapel and snorkel in Mexico and do the things that you only dream about right now.  Follow your heart.  Find out who you are.  Volunteer.  Take risks.  Discover where it is that you can feel God's presence.  Do great things.  That's what you're here for.  Ships weren't made for the harbor and all of that jazz.

Most of all...enjoy the ride,

Tiffany at 29 (I still technically have 2 days 'til 30)

P.S.--New Roomie, ignore my BFF.  Move that salt shaker.

Letter to Me at 18

"And I'd end by saying have no fear, these are nowhere near the best years of your life.."  ~Brad Paisley, Letter to Me

Yesterday I got the chance to guest blog for Miss Rae at Chasing Kite Tales.  If you don't read her blog, you should, so go check it out!

And to read my guest blog, click here. It's a letter to myself on my high school graduation day.

Lastly, because I love doing these kinds of letters to me, here are links if you missed the other letters that I've written to myself (one at 16 and one at 20).

If you were going to write a letter to yourself at 18, what would you say?

What I've Learned in My Twenties

"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." ~Muhammad Ali

Linking up with Kelly's Korner!

I've been following along for weeks as Sarah did an amazing series where she asked bloggers the question:  What have you learned in your twenties?  When she announced that she was doing a link up for everyone to chime in with their answers, I knew I had to participate!  Heck, I've done a post about the things I've learned in 2009 and 2011!

So, as a girl on the downhill side of my twenties (deep breath, deep breath, don't hyperventillate thinking about it, Tiffany!), I look back on the last 8.5 years and cannot believe how much I have learned.  I think that I'm a completely different person than I was when I was a 20 year old wide-eyed sophomore at Oklahoma State. 

I also think (or at least hope) that I'm a better person now than I was then.  And that I will carry these lessons with me into the next decades of my life and continue to build upon them.  As good as my twenties have been to me, I fully expect that what is to come will be even better.

I've learned to dream big, to set goals, and to go for it!  I learned that the only thing that limits our dreams and our abilities is ourselves.  I learned that even if a goal seems impossible to reach, if you keep working hard enough, you can achieve it.  I've learned that if I set my mind to something, I can make it happen.  This lesson brought about living in San Franciso for a summer, traveling to Europe, and running a half marathon.

I've learned that my happiness is up to me.  My attitude is something that I am able to choose every day--every minute--and if I make the right choice, life is so much better.  I've learned to be content where I am, and not longing for the past or waiting for the future.  I've learned that I cannot tie my own happiness to someone else.  We have to fight for joy in our lives.

I've learned that being a single twenty-something really is more positive than negative.  My singleness has allowed me to figure out who I am and what I am looking for, and to write letters to my future husband.  It has allowed me to travel the world and do things that I had always dreamed of.  I've toured the Swiss Alps and wondered the streets of Rome at 1:00 am.  I've rushed the field, seen the gold helemts run out of the tunnel and watched my team win a BCS bowl game.  I've snorkeld in the ocean and biked the Golden Gate Bridge and eaten at Tavern on the Green.  I've granted wishes to terminally ill children and registered to save someone's life.  Being single has allowed me the ability to spend my time doing things that are worthwhile and meaningful to me.  My life is full of love. God is still faithful and I am still blessed regardless of whether I have a ring on my left finger.

I've learned that you have to fight for the relationships that are important.  Studies show that this is the time of our lives when we lose friendships.  We are separated by distance and busy building careers and starting families and we just lose touch.  We have to fight for the people who matter to us.  And when we find them, we have to invest the time to keep them.  For me, that means girls' weekends with the Gossip Girls.  And St. Patrick's Day in Chicago with ND Friend.  Surprising SoulMate Friend at a baby shower.  Sitting through 36 hours of labor before my Goddaughter arrived.  Frequent conversations with BFF and never missing a family Thanksgiving dinner.

I've learned that it's okay to just let go, have fun, and not worry about what other people think.  This is quite the lesson for a total type-A perfectionist to learn.  We must sing karaoke like a crazy person in San Francisco.  And dance with the stranger at the pub.  And eat the fru-fru pancakes.  Why not?

I've learned that I am _____ enough.  Whatever word you want to place in the blank.  Smart.  Pretty.  Funny.  Important.  I'm a villa in Tuscany.  When we are younger, we spend so much time trying to fit ourselves into some mold--the popular crowd or the girl on magazine cover or the person on our favorite tv show.  My twenties have convinced me that who I am is good enough, period.

I've learned what a true hero is.  That the true ones are not famous actors or professonal athletes or singers selling out stadiums.  They are the amazing people that I am blessed to have in my own life.  People like real housewives and ag teachers.  My parents.  True  neighbors.  My amazing aunts.  Gran.

I've learned that life is short and precious and that we must live in light of that.  In my twenties, I have said goodbye to some of my favorite people in the world.  I've sat through more funerals in the last 8 years than most people do in a lifetime.  I've given a eulogy and I've carried a casket.  I've seen right in the wrong.  And what I've learned from these experiences is that we have to live our lives right now.  We have to face our fears.  Search out experiences.  Appreciate the time we have.  We have a jump off the diving board.  We have to get to playin'.  And if there is something that we are not happy with in our lives, well it's up to us to make a change.

As I said on my 28th birthday, I continue to realize on pretty much a daily basis that it's hard work becoming the person who I am meant to be, but in the end.....it's going to be so worth it.

Letter to the 16 Year Old Me

"When you go through life, so sure of where you’re headin', and you wind up lost and it's the best thing that could have happened..." ~Brad Paisley, Find Yourself

This week instead of writing to Mr. Right, I'm writing to myself. You guys have probably seen this done before. I wrote a letter to my 20 year old self a while back. I recently read a magazine article where famous people wrote back to their 16 year old selves and knew I wanted to play along.

Dear 16 Year Old Tiffany,


You might want to sit down for this first part. You're 28. You don't have kids. You're not married. Heck, you don't even have a boyfriend. That boy you think you love now...he marries someone else. Are you okay? Still breathing? Good. Because your life is better than you even know to imagine.

You will see the sun rise and set on the other side of the world. And from your apartment window overlooking San Francisco Bay. And from a table at Tavern On The Green in Central Park.

You'll watch the gold helmets run onto the field at Notre Dame, the crazy towel waiving at Kyle Field and cheer on your team at Boone Pickens Stadium (which doesn't exist yet.)


One day, you're going to love running. Seriously. And you'll finish a half marathon. Maybe you could stop slacking when running suicides in basketball practice.

You will wake up one day and realize that you've managed to accumulate a group of friends from all different chapters in your life. And they love you unconditionaly. And they make you a better person.

Oh, and those boys...the ones who keep sticking you in the "friend" or "sister" category? That'll still annoy you at 28, but you'll realize that their friendship is so important in your life that you wouldn't trade it for anything, even the "girlfriend" category.

You'll kneel to pray at St. Peter's Bascilica, next to the remains of St. Paul in Rome, at a Grotto in South Bend, in the Washington National Cathedral and in a quiet church in North Beach.

You'll sing karoke in a bar full of people. Snorkel in Mexico. Rush a football field. White water raft. Wear a fancy dress and hat at a steeplechase. See George Strait in concert. And tour the Swiss Alps.

Don't get me wrong, there will be bad times. You'll have to say goodbye far too soon to people who you love more than words can say. You'll have your heart broken. You'll total a vehicle. And wish time would stand still when change comes your way.

But through it all, you somehow find yourself. And you find the person who you want to be. And you manage to really live. That's a gift.

Enjoy the ride,
Tiffany at 28

Letter to Me

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?'” ~Unknown

Last week, I read a great blog where the girl wrote a letter back to herself at 20. Brad Paisley has a great song about this same idea. I was inspired, and decided to write a letter to myself as well. It really made me think, but was a lot of fun to do. I totally recommend it.

Dear 20 year-old self:

Enjoy every minute of your time in Stillwater...the energy, people, college town, nights on the Strip, crazy parties at 44th and Western (this address will mean something to you one day soon) and everything else that happens during the next three years. You will spend a lot of minutes later on wishing you could go back. They will be some of the very best of your life.

You've got the best family in the world. Your parents, brother, aunts, uncles and cousins are crazy and loud and overwhelming and absolutely perfect for you!

Your year of junior college was a disaster. But it's over. It might have been necessary to funnel you into Oklahoma State. And you met this boy from Kansas and girl from Canada and their friendships will more than make up for the bad parts!

Know that alot of friends will come and go, but there are some friends who you make when you are nine years old that you will have forever.

You have just met a couch named Snuggles. When you move away, take him with you. There is no other couch that comfy and you will never be able to find him again!

Tell the boy how you feel. And this will apply to more than one boy in the next 6 years. Stop worrying about ruining the friendship.....once you get older and the boys start falling in love with other girls, the friendships start to fade anyway.

Always get the season football and basketball tickets. I know you are broke and it seems like a corner that you can cut. Really, it's not. Don't eat for a week or two if necessary.

On a related note, do NOT call your brother trash talking when OSU gets Texas down by 4 touchdowns in the first half of the home game your senior year. There's a guy named Vince Young who will shut your mouth. Big time.

Pick up a limee. Actually, maybe that's not the best idea. You not discovering them until your last semester may be what gets you (and your liver) through college unscathed.

That roomate who you were lucky enough to find is becoming one of your best friends in the world. Yes, you are nearly complete opposites. Maybe that's why it works. Don't yell when she burns the popcorn. It was an accident. Don't forgive her too fast when she breaks the cannister lid. She feels real guilty and will probably cook you something good if you play it a little...

Relax. Stop stressing about school and work and trying to get everything done. This nothing compared to law school, which is nothing compared to the bar, which is nothing compared to working. Who cares if your MCIS powerpoint is perfect? Put it down and go do something fun.

Enjoy every single Sunday at Sunnybrook Christian Church. You will find a small group that will become like family to you. The faith that you experience and cultivate here will only become increasingly important in the rest of your life.
When you meet the really nice girl at Lights on Stillwater, know that she'll lead you to one of your new best friends. The Lights on Stillwater girl will disappear from both of your lives, but that new best friend isn't going anywhere. Transfer out of the terrible Business Law class you go to the first day of your junior year and go to Professor Urich. Business law with him will open your eyes. You will realize that there are so many places to do and things to see and experiences to have that you can't live your life without trying these things. You will learn that not everyone believes what you believe, and while you might disagree, you can still be civil and respectful.

As great as your friends are now, there are some of your best friends who you haven't even met yet. Keep your eyes open. These girls will change your life!
This one is the most important. By the time you're 25, two of your favorite people in the world will be gone. Even though you think they seem invincible, they aren't. Ask them your questions, get their advice, and enjoy your time with them now. Hug them both every chance you get. Someday, you would be willing to give anything to hear their voice one more time.

Love, Me at 26