Love Don't Know What Distance Is...

'Love is the strangest, most illogical thing in the world.' ~ Jennifer Smith

...and this is why I drove 2.5 hours on Monday night for dinner with The Boy from Texas who was in East Texas for work.  I drove longer than we actually got to see each other.  It made zero logical sense.  (And although love might not know what distance is, my wallet knows after filling up with gas and my 30 year old exhausted self is quit clear on what it is!)

Hopefully one day (soon) we will get to live in the same zip code.  And when that happens, I'm sure we will eventually get sick of each other and periodically long for the days when we lived 9 hours apart.  But as much as I hate this long distance thing we've got going on, I do kinda love how much we appreciate the time we do get to spend together.  Hopefully that's something we can always try to remember.

Girl Between the Lines: Lesson Learned

“Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anythingrelated to his feelings for you.” ~Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You

This week's prompt for Girls Between the Lines is a doozy:  Tell us a lesson you wish you had learned sooner in life. Looking back, what do you see now you wished someone had told you before?

Where do I even start?

I decided I should make a list to try and choose a topic to write about...

What real friends look like and how to find them.
No one should wear a t-shirt every day of junior high and high school.
That you have to stand up for yourself and fight for what you deserve.
How to put out an oven fire before calling the fire department.
That it really does not matter what other people think.
Bridges ice over before roadway (I know signs say this but I clearly didn't get it...)

But in the end, I decided to go with a lesson that I have only recently learned, courtesy of The Boy from Texas.  It's one that I really do believe is true and is important for girls to hear. 

If a boy likes you, he will make that clear and you will not have to question it.

I cannot even begin to tell you how many hours of my life I wasted over the past 30 years wondering if a boy liked me.  It happened in high school.  "Well if he didn't like you, why did he do xyz?  Guys just don't do that!"   College Roomie and I probably walked 1,000 miles analyzing this in college.  "Well he was really flirty with you last night at the Penny...."  It continued on into adulthood.  "Well if you're talking that much, he has to be into you!"  It seriously was a never-ending cycle that left me hopelessly confused (and single....awesome combo.)

Then along came the Boy from Texas.  He was up front right from the beginning.  He told me he did not play games (which I was honestly pretty sure was a game...turned out it wasn't.) He has always been straight forward about how he felt and what he wanted and where this was going.  I have never once wondered how he felt about me.  It was refreshing.  And honestly a little bit confusing!  Is this how things are supposed to be?  How did no one tell me this before?

Well, girls, I'm here to tell it to you today.  I'm not saying it will all be roses and puppies and unicorns.  There will be hard decisions to be made, he will yell at you and make you cry when you catch your oven on fire and hang up on him during that traumatic event, you will have bad days, you will argue, you will not understand his shopping habits.....but through it all, you won't have to question how he feels about you.

If he likes you, he'll make that clear and you won't have to question it.  Learn it now.  Save your time and your thoughts and your tears.  

He's Never Run Through An Airport For Me

"He's never run through an airport for me.  But this ordinary, remarkable love walks slowly every day alongside."  ~Lisa Jo Baker

I'm going to confess it now.  I love a good romantic comedy.  The guy finds the girl that everyone else overlooked and sweeps her off her feet.  The girl has to chose between two equally great men and picks the underdog.  The girl hires a date to make her ex-boyfriend jealous and he rocks out halfway through the movie with the line, "I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."  Sigh.

So when I stumbled across this blog called, "When you think your love story is boring," I was intrigued.  It's premised on a comment from a teenage girl who said that she would never be satisfied with her love life until the boy ran through an airport to stop her from getting on a flight.  And, so, Lisa Jo Baker set out to write an article that is premised on the admission, "He's never run through an airport for me...."

And several people have picked up on this idea and written their own versions.  So, when in Rome...

My version of He's Never Run Through The Airport For Me...

He's never run through an airport for me.  He never landed us on a stadium jumbotron or written me a poem or professed his love for me on a beach in the middle of a lightning storm.

But he listens when I rant or cry or when I'm so excited about something that I can't help but talking 100 miles a minute.  He encourages me and reminds me to have faith and has never told me to shut up when I need reassurance for the 157th time that someday this long distance thing will come to an end.

He's never run through an airport for me.  He's never sent three dozen roses to my office or taken me to Tiffany's or hit a home run off of a pitch from my ex boyfriend.

But he makes me feel safe and pretty and confident.  He believes in me and appreciates my input and supports the things that are important to me.  Instead of stopping me from getting on an airplane, he'd be telling me to go have the time of my life and that he'd see me when I got back.  Or driving two hours to rescue me when my plane almost crashed and I refused to stay on it.  (Yep.  That happened.)

He's never run through an airport for me.  He hasn't gotten my name tattooed on his arm,  he hasn't sang a song outside my window, and he hasn't scaled a fire escape after crawling out of a limo (I'm also not a hooker, which is a positive as well).

But he holds my hand.  And he kisses my forehead. And he has driven all night just to spend the weekend with me.  He actually enjoys spending time with my family and always makes me laugh and was cool with our first date being to an NRA banquet.  With my parents.  And a convicted felon (who I'm pretty sure wasn't legally supposed to be there...)

He's never run through an airport for me.  And you know, that's just fine by me.  

Because somehow, real life is turning out better than the movies.

Smart Girls

“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap!” ~Ashton Kutcher

I'm going to admit it now.  There have been times that I've downplayed my intelligence because I did not want people to know that I was smart.  Even as a little kid, I would often not raise my hand in class even when I knew the answer.  There were times in college or in law school when my response to "how are you doing in school" was something along the lines of "well they haven't kicked me out yet" rather than "I'm making good grades."  When I worked in private practice I often responded to the question of "What do you do?" with "I work at a law firm" rather than "I'm a lawyer."

And I'm not alone.  My friend who got into Harvard talks about how she "almost went to school on the East coast."  My mom sometimes intentionally mispronounces words (although she may just do that to annoy me and my brother, I'm not completely clear on her motives).  A girl I went to law school with used to whisper answers in the back of the room and be right all the time but not say them out loud.  An attorney I know constantly downplays her knowledge and abilities to others.

Why do we do this?  Why do women feel the need to act dumb or blend in or be embarrassed about their accomplishments? 

I'm sure there are a lot of reasons.  But I think one of them is the  idea that boys don't like girls that are too smart.  I mean, you don't want to be dumb, but you also can't be too smart.  You'll never find someone if you are too successful or too intimidating.  Way to put this in our heads, society.

An article I read last week confirmed that there are some guys who feel this way--in fact, a recent study shows that men who were told their wives did better on an intelligence test had lower self esteem than those who were told that their wives did poorly.  What the heck??  Well luckily, another guy thought this was stupid as well and wrote a great article outlining the 5 benefits of having a smart and successful wife.  You can read the whole article here.

We are made to be smart and successful.  And when we downplay that, even for something that seems insignificant, we're not doing ourselves--or the world--any favors.  And if you ask me, any guy who is too dumb to figure that out probably isn't worth our time anyway.  Because the good guys?  They like smart girls, they'll support smart girls, and they'll celebrate smart girls successes.

I'm going to leave you with a little story I love. My dad and I were talking recently and the issue of a woman making more money than the man came up.  He says that back in the early 1960's, my Gran was making more money than my grandpa.   My dad remembers her asking him if that bothered him.  His response?  "Hell no, I just wish you made even more!"  That's a guy who had it figured out!

My grandparents wedding photo

Wait For It

Listen up, single girls.  It's hard.  I know.  Oh, do I ever know.  There are dateless Friday nights and ice cream alone on your couch on Saturday night and a closet full of bridesmaid dresses in every color with no white dress of your own in sight.  There are pitied looks and comments from married people.  Blind dates that are terrible.  First dates that are awkward.  Phone calls that never come.  The friend zone.  I know it well as it's where I spent the majority of my twenties.  The feeling like everyone in the world has found someone but you.  Followed by the realization that this must mean something is wrong with you.  Followed be more of that ice cream along on your couch on a Saturday night.

But someday.....

Believe it.  Don't give up on it.  Don't settle for less.  Wait for it.  Because it's worth it.  And the truth is, the wait probably makes you appreciate it more when it arrives.

**Linking up with Almost Gypsy Soul for Soul Food Friday. Check out her blog and share what feeds your soul!

Better Than My "Nuh Uh" Argument

“Then there are the simple things. The way she fits against my side when we’re sitting together. How she can silence my addled thoughts with one look. The sound of my name from her lips. The way she can make a moment, any moment, a thousands times better when she is there. How the simplest pleasures in life become exciting with the promise of sharing the experience with her.” ~Erik Tombin 

I don't believe in "soul mates."  There.  I said it.

*Shocked faces*

I've never really found the best way to articulate my argument, beyond the ever-so-eloquent response to "Nuh uh, soul mates do not exist!"  I didn't go to law school for nothing, people.

And then ND Friend sent me a blog last week.  And as I sat at my computer read it, I just kept thinking YES!  This is what I have been trying to say.  This is exactly how I feel and exactly what I think.

My belief is this....

I do not think that we are somehow destined to end up with one person.  I do not believe that there is one person hand picked for us who will complete us and we are on some crazy mission impossible to find him.  And I think that we put way too much pressure on ourselves and on everyone else when we have in our heads that it's not right if he's not our soul mate.  Because then the first time you fight or he leaves his socks out on the floor or something is difficult, you automatically are going to think, "Wait, that means he's not my soul mate, I have to keep looking for the one."  And what if you thought you found the one, but he didn't agree and fell in love with someone else?  Do you just give up and throw in the towel because your soul mate is gone?  Too much pressure.  I just don't buy it.

What I think is that we choose to love someone.  It's a choice. Could you choose someone else to love?  Sure.  Would you be happy with someone else?  Probably.  In the end, you make a choice to love someone.  And then when we marry them, we make a covenant to keep loving them forever.    And from my married friends, my understanding is that based on that covenant, you just keep on making that same choice day after day.  Not because he's your soul mate.  But because you love him, and you chose him, and you made a covenant to him and to God.

In other words, "Nuh uh, I don't believe in soul mates."

Oh, you want to read the article with the great explanation?  Good.  You should.  Click here.

And seriously, I'm dying to hear everyone's thoughts on this.  So please comment!

When It Comes To Men...

Thoughts on Ladies and Gentlemen and Chivalry

Photos via Pinterest

What I'm Loving Wednesday

"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

It's Wednesday.  Halfway to the weekend.  I'm loving some stuff.  That's all.

*ONE*  This article about OSU Defensive End Cooper Bassett befriending a six year old girl with cancer.  Melt.  My.  Heart.  Is this dude single?  Because I'd marry him tomorrow.  This is what it's all about, folks.

*TWO*  Brett-Brett and Mrs. Texas' wedding was featured in Society Bride.  Who would have ever though I'd be a bridesmaid in that kind of wedding??  No one.  That's who.

There we are...I'm the one who needs to hit up a beach to get a darn tan!

*THREE*  That Soldier Cousin graduates from Boot Camp tomorrow.  We're so proud of him. 

I'm a little concerned for Ft. Jackson, South Carolina, however.  My mom and aunts arrived yesterday for the graduation and these three together......well.....let's just see how this plays out!

*FOUR*  I've got a blog about the State Fair sheep show coming up, but I don't want to leave out the fact that we raised a steer that made the sale!  Not too bad for sheep people playing in the show steer business!

*FIVE*  This article about game day in Stillwater from the perspective of opposing fans.  Just further proof that Stillwater really is the Happiest Place on Earth.  Even opposing teams think so.

*SIX*  That my insane travel plans for my 30th birthday next year might actually be doable.  Check out this little tour that proves it.  The main places on my list are Berlin, Auschwitz, Warsaw and Prague.  But if I can throw in Vienna, Budapest, Krakow....well who am I to say no?  Anyone want to join me?

*SEVEN*  In two weeks, I'm headed to South Bend with two of my favorite ladies to hit up a Notre Dame football game, spend too much money at the ND bookstore, eat some pretzel pancakes and see ND Friend.  Could not be more excited!  Go Irish!

*EIGHT*  This blog with some great step-by-step advice for guys.  It's perfect.  As a bit of an old fashioned girl, I'm a firm believer in this list!  Here are a couple of my favorite paragraphs.

"You tell her.  Not in a text. Not even on the phone. You tell her when, and only when, you can see the green in her pupils. The birthmark on her neck. You tell her when your palms are sweaty and your words don’t feel like they hold an ounce of eloquence. You tell her, even when the whole thing could collapse at any moment on any one of your syllables. She might reject you. She might turn away. But you need to say it all the same."

"You recognize.  That what you feel is very good. That we– the fleshy messes that we are– were made for these kinds of feelings. The Overwhelming. The Anxiety. The Goodness of Falling in Love. In Finding a Someone Who Soon Becomes Your Only One. You let the feelings own you for a little while, break you down to dust for a girl who weakens your knees in the very best way. You recognize. Not everyone has this. Most people want this. They might be lying if they tell you different. You recognize that it is good, very good. The Best Stuff in Life."

Things You Never Say...

"Women worry about the things men forget.  Men worry about the things women remember."

Things have been too serious around here for a while.  Time to lighten up the mood.

I love Cousin Swiss Mister.  I really do.  But this weekend he made a comment to me to which I responded, "We're going to need to have that conversation again about things that you never say to a girl." 

Example of this type of conversation with cousin Swiss Mister

And then I knew I had a blog topic for this week.  So I enlisted a few of my favorite ladies to help me come up with a list.  With that, I give you my list of 10 comments you never say to a girl.

1.  She's Fat.  Or any version thereof.  Or anything that might possibly be construed to be close to that.
This one should be obvious.  I think most guys are intelligent enough not to straight out say, "Wow, honey, you've packed on a few pounds."  Where they get in trouble are more subtle, potentially innocent comments that girls totally take the wrong way. 

For example, I was traumatized once by my own father.  We had just finished the girls basketball game in high school and the guys game was fixing to start.  I went to sit with my parents, who were sitting in their usual spot with all of the guys' parents.  As I walk up, my dad says, "You know, I was noticing while you were out there, you have the biggest legs of anyone on the team!"Did he mean to call me fat?  No. He was all proud that his daughter had strong legs.  Did I take it as calling me fat?  Yes.  I was sure I'd never have a prom date again. 

Akin to this are comments like, "Don't you want a salad" or "You're going to eat all of that?" or "Haven't you already had a lot of chocolate today?" or "You sure you don't want to go to the gym?"  Or any wrong answer to "Do these pants make my butt look big?"  There are also conversation topics you might want to stay away from.....gym memberships, lipo-suction, and one piece bathing suits.  No good can come of this, guys.  No good at all.

2.  Any insinuation that she's never going to get married.

There's a Friends episode where they are talking about back ups (you know, the old "If neither of us are married by the time we're 40...") and Monica freaks out on the guy, who is being very sweet and offering to be her back up, and screams "WHY don't you think I'll be married by the time I'm 40!?!?"  You don't want to go there boys.  In fact, this is the kind of comment that gave me the idea for this blog.

I updated my facebook status last week and it said, "Realized I am nowhere near ready to have kids after seeing the chaos in the school supply section at Wal-Mart, enjoyed walking right on by that train wreck."  Cousin Swiss Mister responds with, "At this rate, you and I will end up in the same nursing home."  WHY don't you think I'll be married by the time I'm 40!?!? 

Trust me, don't go there.

3.  Her hair doesn't look so hot today.

Listen, boys, a girl knows when she's having a bad hair day.  SHE KNOWS.  You reminding her is not going to make it any better.  I don't care if she's wearing a baseball cap or there is some sort of poof gone wrong, keep your mouth shut.  Trust me on this one.

4.  Any endearing comment about your most recent ex.

Here's a newsflash--girls are kinda jealous and petty.  I know, I know.  You're shocked.  This means that we're going to compare ourselves to your most recent ex.  You making any sort of nice comment about her is going to only fuel the fire and draw out the wrath.  They say if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  Here, you might want to reverse that little mantra.

5.  I'll call you.  And then don't.

This doesn't matter if it is a guy friend or a boyfriend, if you say you're going to call, freaking call.  And if you say you'll call on Tuesday, do it on Tuesday.  Not the following Saturday.  This one is not complicated, fellas.

6.  Bad things about the people who she loves.

Next to the fat comment, this was the thing that got the most mentions from the girls.  No bad mouthing family or friend, period.  She might be able to call them crazy, but don't you do it.  Examples given to me:  Passive agressive comments about her family.  Bad things about her best friend.  "Your mom is a nut job."  To which my friend responded, "Yea, she is, but you shut up."  Her friends and family have been around long before you got there, and if you bad mouth them, they'll be around long after you leave.

7.  Tell a girl how great she is, and then ask for advice about another girl.

I'm sure in your male brains, this seems like you're just giving her a friendly compliment, but really, it's just insulting.  As Blonde Oklahoma Girl described it, "Don't tell me I'm golden and too good for you and then talk to me about some other girl you want to date."  And as ND Friend put it, "Don't tell me how I'm wonderful and the best thing that has ever happened to you and then talk to me about your floozy girlfriend."  Um....if I had a dollar for everytime someone said this kind of crap to me, I'd be able to retire at 28.

8.  Other random funny examples given to me of things never to say.
"I love OU."

Anything having to do it being "that time of the month." 

"You want to go to Olive Garden? Isn't it pretty expensive?"  [Oh Lordy.  I should add to this any suggestion that you have a date at a truck stop.  Particularly a second date.  Bad idea, kids.  She wont' be impressed.]

We'll just grab a case of Natty Light. (to take to family Christmas).  [This really happened???]

My List

"Its not called being picky, it's called not compromising your standards."  ~ Unknown.

(Disclaimer:  This is mostly in jest.  I'm not serious that I would not date a guy who could not beat me in one-on-one, so don't think I'm crazy.  And also don't think that these are the most important things that I look for in a guy....these are just some of the funny ones!)

Back in the good ol' days at OSU, one time during finals College Roomie and I were looking for something to entertain us.  We had already re-arranged the furniture in our room.  Twice.  And there were only so many times that we could stand looking at the flashcards for our crops final.  So, we made a list of the things I was looking for in a guy.  As I recall (correct me if I'm wrong, College Roomie), it was about 5 pages long.  We taped it to the door and it was as tall as I was.  Any shock I'm still single?

Well I was reminded of that list during a conversation over the weekend when the idea of a list of qualifications came up again.  You know, "I could never date someone who _____."  This got me thinking back to some of the ones on my list, and I figured I should share a few of them.

And so, with that, I give you my top 6 (I couldn't narrow it to 5) list of Mr. Right requirements in random order.

1.  He has to be able to bench press my weight.  Listen, I'm trying to raise Olympic athlete or college football playing children.  I can't be marrying some wuss.  Plus, a girl wants to feel like she's protected.  Fortunately, I've polled pretty much all of my guy friends and they assure me that this item is not going to be a problem.

2.  He has to have a job.  This one came from the Pig Farmer.  He was adament about not marrying a girl without a job in college.  We all usually laughed at his crazy ideas, but this one was actually a good one.  Who knew he was smart like that?

3.  No dogs or other animals sleeping in the bed.  Please don't stop liking me if you have animals living in your house.  A lot of my friends (each of the Oklahoma State Girls, in fact!) do this.  It's just not for me.  Growing up, animals stayed outside.  I spent most of my childhood rolling around in mud and playing king of the manure pile and smelling like some combination of sheep, cattle and horse.  But when you went into the house to go to bed, you took a shower and cleaned all that off.  I just can't deal with it.  But....a cute lab living outside on the wrap around porch?  I'm all about that.

4.  He must know how to ride a horse.  My dad swears this is indication that I'm too picky and that it should be removed from the list.  But, here's the deal.  It's probably less about actually riding the horse and more about understanding my background.  Agriculture is a big deal to me--to how I was raised and how I will want to raise my kids some day.  I have to have a guy who understands that.  Plus, if you've ever seen my family at branding, you can't subject some city slicker to that kind of chaos.

The former State Star Farmer can't marry a city slicker.

5.  He must be able to beat me at one-on-one.  Olympic athletes and college football playing children.  Athletic genes are genetic.
6.  He cannot use stupid abbreviations in text messages.  This one really annoys the crap out of me.  I hate texts that say "c u l8r" or "r u" or whatever other abbreviations there are.  HATE them.  I can put up with the periodic "idk" but that's about it.  Use your words.

Now....for the fun part.  What's on YOUR list??

Confessions #1

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Today I'm linking up with E Myself and I for Midweek Confessions and with Leslie for Friday Confessions! So....I confess:

* I laughed about this thing for at least an hour this week.

Oh, so true! Maybe instead of letters to Mr. Right, I'll do a letter to Mr. Wrong next week. That could be fun.

* I'm two weeks behind on Amazing Race episodes. Don't tell me what happened! I know that it's a long shot that Bopper and Mark are still in the game after getting a speed bump, but I love them and I've got my fingers crossed that they win!

* No Justice came out with a new song and I had no idea. My friend posted the lyrics on facebook yesterday and I had to ask her what it was from. I'm a bad fan. Unacceptable. I have got to move back to Oklahoma to be in the know on this stuff! The new single is called Shot in the Dark and I love it. Favorite line: "Your cowgirl boots look too damn heavy for a guy like me to sweep you off your feet."

* I have not seen The Hunger Games. I have not read the book. I realize I may be the only person in America who can say this. College Roomie and Blonde Oklahoma Girl told me the basic plot, and I have to admit I have no desire to read/see it. To each her own, right?

* Last night, I ate a meal that did not include meat. I know, I know. What kind of ranch girl am I? BFF--if you read this blog, please do not call and yell at me! I was in a hurry and just did not have time to cook any meat to go with it. Instead, I ate whole wheat rotini pasta, grated zucchini and summer squash drizzled in olive oil and covered in parmesean cheese, avocado, oregano and red pepper flakes (which I pretty much add to everything). It was super good, really fast, and healthy!

* I know we have not had a new Family Farm Friday blog in a while....sorry about that! BUT, stay tuned for tomorrow. I've got one planned for ya, and I think you'll like it.

* I take back my position that I do not read non-fiction books. I blame "The Help." If y'all have not read this book yet, you need to get off the computer and go buy it right now. It was phenominal! I am a slow reader and I knocked out all 530 pages in two weeks. I couldn't put it down.

* I fell off the wagon. The My Fitness Pal wagon, that is. I started at the first of January but fell off the wagon a couple of weeks ago. I blame traveling for work, green beer, and pancakes at the Bongo Room. (So worth it!) But I'm back on track now and I'm loving it. I feel so much better when I eat healthy and exercise. Shocking, I know.

* I periodically stalk my friends' pinterest pages. Here are a few of my favorite pins that they have done lately!

I Know It's the 21st Century, But...

"Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?" ~Jerry Seinfeld

Okay, today I'm delving off into a topic that I know nothing about. But apparently being a single girl in my twenties in the year 2011 means that it's something that I've got to address all.the.time. Online dating.

Now, online dating is seriously something that I'd say comes up in my life on average once a week. At least. People are constantly asking me why I don't try it. I don't see anything wrong with it--when other people do it, I'm intrigued and I hope it works for them. But I think that this old fashioned, country girl just wants to believe that I'll meet my husband at a football game or a livestock show instead of online. I know it's the 21st century, but I don't care.

But somehow this topic has been everywhere lately. Maybe because it's the holidays? Seriously, in the last week, people have sent me a ton of different links to check out. My boss' wife (no lie!) had seen this website called Subway Crush on tv and thought it was funny. ND Friend stumbled across this website called How About We... and thought it was cute. (FYI, I did a search to see if anyone's date idea involved the word "cattle" or "livestock." Answer: No. Sigh.) The waiter at our work Christmas party (who was cute and who we harassed about his personal life the whole night) mentioned this thing for professional singles called It's Just Lunch. My head is spinning.

So I basically write all of this with no point....EXCEPT that I'm curious about everyone's opinion on this topic. Have you done it? Know people who have? Think that it's crazy insane? Because after reading this blog by someone I know in real life, I'm traumatized. (Read it for real. You'll laugh so hard you'll cry!) Seriously---comment below. I want to hear from you!
Oh, and if you happen to know a nice young man who you'd like to introduce me to, feel free. I'm not against blog dating suggestions. ;)

BREAKING NEWS!!

"...You think you're on your way, and it's just a dead end road at the end of the day..." ~Gary Allan

If you have not read my first post of the day about the Missing Person Alert....click here now. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

The missing person has been found! By who you ask? My lovely friend Blonde Oklahoma Girl with her detective-like skills. Within two hours of the report being posted. (PS--good reminder that people can find out a lot about you on the internet, so be careful!)

Here's what we know:

1. He lives in Stillwater. (the happiest place on earth!)

2. He's a medic with the Stillwater Fire Department. (love it!)

3. He owns a racehorse farm with his family. (LOVE it!)

4. He flies helicopters. (How awesome is that?)

5. He has pictures of himself on the field with the players. (Really??)

6. He has a degree from OSU. (Amen!)

WHERE has this boy been my whole life??

Apparently dating some other girl. That's right....he's in a relationship. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

Homecoming 2011 (Part 2): Missing Person Alert

"I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us no matter what we do. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing." ~Ronald Reagan, Inaugural Address, 1981

You read Part 1 of the homecoming recap last week. Welcome to Part 2.

So I'm going to have a whole blog about Game Day in Stillwater next week, but I wanted to limit this to one little part of game day today. The Walk. And a missing person. Intrigued?

"The Walk" is a little parade where the band, cheerleaders, Pistol Pete and the football team walks down the street from the hotel inside our Student Union to the stadium. The streets were lined with orange-clad fans waiting to get a glimpse of the Cowboys. I had never been to The Walk, so I was really excited. (To see a video of the Bedlam Walk last year, click here.)

Right before the team started walking our way, this random guy comes up and stands next to us. He saw me snapping photos and says, "Get your camera ready. I promise you that Weeden (our quarterback) and Blackmon (our star receiver) will stop here." I looked at him sort of skeptical apparently because he said, "No, really, I know them. I am tailgaiting with Weeden's wife and I'm a medic for the team." Turns out, his name is Kyle the Medic.

Now, I'm pretty guillible so I try to watch myself, but if this dude was serious, I was going to be ready. Turns out, he was. First up, Josh Cooper comes over and shakes his hand. Pretty soon, he says, "Here comes Brandon." And then it happened. Brandon Weeden stopped to chat with Kyle the Medic. And I touched his arm. No lie. The same arm that throws all of our touchdown passes.

Then came Justin Blackmon who hugged Kyle the Medic and said, "I love you man!"

Sidenote---I was all excited thinking I got a picture of Gundy. Turns out, this joker on the left here wasn't him. Fail!

Now, back to our missing person report. Here's what we know. His name is Kyle the Medic. He's a medic for the football team. And he was not wearing a wedding ring. AND....I made him take a picture with me and told him he'd be on my blog, so we have a photo!

In my totally unbiased opinion, I think we're really cute together (unless he has a wife, in which case I retract the previous sentence).

And now...here's where you come in. Have you seen this person? Do you know someone who might? Or know someone who might know someone who might?

He was last seen going back to a tailgate (apparently with Brandon Weeden's wife) wearing a black OSU shirt. Is he single? Interested in a blonde OSU-alum lawyer?

If his "Get your camera ready" thing was a pick up line, it worked, but he forgot to follow up and get my number or name or email.

Come on friends....my love life is in your hands. Do you know Kyle the Medic??

Are You The Person?

I love it when I read things that really get me thinking. That happened recenty and I thought that I'd share. It all started when this blog asked the question: "Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?" (Read it again and take it piece by piece if you're confused...I had to read it like 5 times.)

Well, that sort of stopped me dead in my tracks. I think that as single ladies, we focus a lot on finding Mr. Right and on the kind of person that he should be. You know....a good dancer, tall, broad shoulders, really funny, good with money, better with kids and animals and willing to propose surrounded by cows. (I realize your list may be slightly different...particularly if you're not a farm girl!)

But this question made me realize, "Holy cow...I need to be worrying about the kind of person that I should be too!" I barely even have time to fix my hair in the mornings or get my dishes washed at night....let's add another thing to the list!

Seriously though, it's not that I don't generally think about the kind of person that I am, but I had never thought about that in a relationship context. If I know the kind of person that I hope Mr. Right will be, am I the kind of person that he would be looking for?

I hope that Mr. Right is the kind of guy who looking for a girl who is kind and compassionate, who is loving and smart, who is responsible but fun. A girl who wants to know where she's going and what she is meant to do and focuses the difference she wants to make. And you know, sometimes (maybe a lot of the time) I don't fit into these categories. And maybe that's why Mr. Right hasn't appeared from the forest yet....because until I'm the person he's looking for and he's the person I'm looking for, it's not the right time for us to run into each other.

I know I say this a lot, but I really do believe that God uses this single time in our lives to make us into the right person for our spouse. But I think that we've got to work with Him here. We have to do our part. It's up to us to become the person that we're meant to be in order for this little puzzle to all fit together. And so I'm thankful for this time. Thankful to have the opportunity to figure out who it is that God is calling me to be--and thankful to know that once I do that, Mr. Right will be just around the corner and we ride off into the sunset and our future front porch swing.

Lady On The Bench

"If you're not picky, you're divorced." ~Cousin Swiss Mister

One of my dear friends (who you've met previously on this little ol' blog) sent me an email last week that cracked me up. It had this picture in it:

Funny, ha ha, right? She proceeded to tell me that this picture reminded her of me, not ONLY because I am waiting on the perfect man, but also because of the outfit. Remember my steeplechase attire? Let me split screen this for you:

Oh. My. Gosh. Is it a sign from the universe?? I'm going with no. Here's why. I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect like the lady (who is quite well dressed, I must admit) on the bench in the pictue. I'm just looking for Mr. Right. There's a difference.

See, contrary to popular belief, I am not THAT picky. But, a girl has to have standards. I have organized mine into two groups. Non-negotiable and Potentially negotiable qualities for Mr. Right to possess.

Non-Negotiables

Let me give you some examples from real life experiences.

1. He must be single. (Meaning NOT in a relationship with another girl.) Sad that this has to be said.




2. He must be interested in girls. (Yep...had a friend trying to play matchmaker and a week before we got something set up, the dude he was setting me up with came out of the closet. No lie.)




3. He can't be a crazy-pants control freak stalker. (Didn't get all the way into this issue, but saw the potential and decided that was a bad plan.




4. He can't only be interested in me until something better comes along. (Enough said.)

That's right, ladies. I've seen it all. And I don't think anyone will deem these requirements as being "too picky."

Potentially Negotiables

It's possible that these are where the "she's too picky" idea comes in to play.... These, unlike the ones listed above, are negotiable. To a point.

1. He has to be able to bench press my weight. (I mean, I don't want to marry a wuss and this is necessary to protect my own self esteem. Nomad and McCain assure me this should not be a problem for a guy.)




2. He has to be able to beat me a basketball game of 1 on 1. (I'm trying to find a husband to help me raise freaking college athletes here, okay?)




3. He must be able to ride a horse and to have seen a cow in real life. (My own father says I may need to let this one go. Those of you who know my own father, please tell me, how would he react to some city slicker that I brought home? I thought you'd understand.)
   



4. He must enjoy college football. (Let's be real-I'm not getting off my couch on Saturdays during the fall, so dude better just be ready to deal with that.)




5. He can't wear flip flops. (I hate feet. Especially boy feet. I don't want to see them. This is one that I really am working on trying to compromise on...like maybe at the lake.....but even then, what's wrong with a pair of water shoes? Deep breath, Tiffany.)




6. He can deal with puking. (Let's be honest...I'm going to get car sick on this guy. Probably more than once. Might as well plan ahead.)

Anyway....I just want to be clear that I am not looking for Mr. Perfect. Just Mr. Right. There are qualifications that we can negotiate on. Please, oh please, let that be enough to keep me from being the lady on the bench!

WILW #6

“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." ~Proverb

Well good morning everyone! Since another Wednesday has rolled around, I decided it was time to share some things that I'm loving today....be sure to check out what everyone else is loving here!

* I'm loving that I'm ALMOST at 100 followers. Can you believe that 93 people read my random ranting every day? I think it's awesome and want to say thank you to all of you who read my blog! So.....I've decided that once I reach the big 1-0-0, I will be doing a big giveaway. I'm thinking "Tiffany's Favorite Things" ala Oprah. Soooo, this means that if you're out there loitering but not yet an official follower, you need to follow to help get this giveaway going! Here are simple instructions for doing so.

* I'm loving Friday Night Lights, with one exception......WHERE is Tim Riggins? I mean, I know he's in prison and all right now, but come on, NBC.....you are wasting any time on that show where his adorable face (and his adorable everything else) is not on the screen. My father who has already watched this season via Direct TV assures me that my boy Tim will be back soon. This better be accurate! Free Tim Riggins!
* I'm loving the Miranda Lambert song "Makin' Plans" that was played during the wedding ceremony. Apparently it's old, but she wrote it for Blake and I just think it's freaking adorable. Favorite line: "I know you like the back of my hand, got a heart of gold and a piece of land..." Also LOVED her wedding pictures----Blake in jeans (swoon!) and her in her mama's dress. I would so be her friend in real life. (Alexand KP...can we work on this??)
* I'm loving that plans are in the work for me to go on a blind date. It's out of my hands, but the person in charge is pretty darn on top of things, so this could actually happen. Which would get me another bucket list checkmark. I could get two checkmarks if this date involved a drive in movie. So...if anyone out there has a potential drive in movie date for me, you let me know!

* I'm loving the project that the church I attend is starting for the summer. It's called "God Speaks, We Listen" and the idea is that you listen (not read, but listen) to the entire New Testament in 90 days. They gave out cds for everyone and apparently it will last from June 1 until August 31 and if you devote just about 12 minutes a day, you can hear the whole new testament being read. Love this idea! If you are interested in doing this as well, you can listen online here!
* I'm loving the upcoming LONG weekend! Woo hoo!! I'm headed back home to the farm. You know I'll come back with lots of new pictures and ideas for Family Farm Friday! I always look forward to a little time in the fresh air and wide open spaces. And, as an added bonus... remember the superstar wrestler who I used to babysit? Well, he's graduating from high school (and I feel like I might as well break out the walker!) on Friday night. You know I'll be there!

Halfsies?

"I pay to get my eyebrows waxed twice a month. I pay for makeup. I pay to shave more of my body. I pay for open-toed shoes, closed-toed shoes, boots, sneakers and sandals, in varying shades. I pay for purses. I pay for bras. I pay for pepper spray. I pay for diet advice. I pay for self-help books. I pay for gifts to bring to baby showers and bridal showers and bachelorette parties. MEN PAY FOR DATES." ~ Everyday Goodness

So a couple of weeks ago my friend went on a date with a doctor. He asked her out to a nice restaurant here in town. Things were going really well. And then it happened. The check came. The doctor looked at the ticket, looked at my friend, and then said, "Halfsies?"

Good thing this dude didn't ask me out, or he would have gotten "the look." Here is a sample being used on Cousin Swiss Mister after he said I was dressed trashy.



Now, mind you, I can't seem to find anyone to even take me to dinner, much less do appropriate things while there, so I really probably shouldn't be complaining, but....well.....why else do I have a blog? Maybe I should write a book on advice for boys....I've done this topic once before on the blog. I would also include chapters on not mentioning your baby mamas (yes plural) and actually calling them that in the same conversation where you ask a girl out. And never ordering lettuce wraps when the girl ordered a steak. But I digress...

Anyway, after hearing my friend's story, I stumbled upon a survey on the internet. Apparely 49% of men think that the man should pay for the first date. WHAT!?! This menas that 51%, or the majority, or MOST men do not.

Understand that I'm an independent girl. I'm all for women's rights and equal treatment and what not. I grew up in a family that didn't care if I was a girl---I was expected to help brand cattle and haul hay and feed ewes just like my brother. I have a good job (one that until a few decades ago women weren't allowed to have), I have my own house, and I can may for my own freakin' dinner.

HOWEVER.....the point here is that I want a guy who WANTS to pay for my dinner on the first date. It's a sign of respect. And chivalry. And being a gentleman. And I don't see any reason why those things and women being equal can't coexist.

And don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying a guy should always pay. If there are more than one date (which, by the way there will NOT be if anyone pulls "halfsies" on me), I think that the girl should pay for her share of the dates. I am not saying that the poor guy's wallet should be like an ATM machine.

But what I am saying is this. Bottom line: Boys, listen up....on a first date.....you pay for dinner. And open my car door for good measure. Sheesh.
(photo via)




Am I crazy here? (This is really a rhetorical question, because I already checked with Cousin Kevin and he agrees, and the two of us are never wrong.) Thoughts on this halfsies phenomenon?

Oh, and just so you know how the story ends.....my friend paid her half. Then the doctor had a chance to redeem himself when they went for ice cream. Did he buy hers? Nope. Did she see him again? Nope. Coincidence? Nope.

Dating Observations

"You have to figure ... if the world's fattest twins can find love, there's hope for all of us. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us, understand us, and kiss our 3 heads and make it all better." ~Carrie Bradshaw

Okay, I wasn't going to blog about this, but I feel like my observations are so wonderfully insightful, that I can't help but share them with the masses. (The odds are I just think I'm clever even though no one else will agree...)

A couple of weeks ago, there was a website that asked people to write blogs about their favorite singles. The idea was that perhaps some of the singles might be good matches, and this would be a good way for them to meet.

So....people would review all of the blogs and if they liked the guy/girl whom the blog was about, they could comment or email the writer, who could decide if she wanted to pass the info along to her single friend. Although I have never been into any sort of online dating (i.e. eHarm, Match.com), I somehow got caught up in the entertainment that this little website provided. One girl commented that looking at the blogs and comments was better than watching the Bachelor!


Anyway, I had a few observations that I wanted to share.

1. All single men apparently live in the south.....Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Tennessee..... Which, ergo, means that they have awesome southern accents. On top of that, they all seem to love their families, Jesus, college football, country music, and babies. FYI: I'm renting the moving van last week.

2. There are infinently more single girls than single guys. If you are a single girl, this is not earth shattering news to you. I did not ever do the math, but my guess would be probably a 5-1 ratio of girls to guys. I have been trying to tell myself that this is only because this involves bloggers---and it's almost only girls who seem to blog. Please let me live in my fantasy land. Don't burst my bubble.

3. Every single on the website was holding a baby. At first, I thought they all had kids. But then I realized, that pretty much none of them were holding their own children. It was always a niece or nephew, or a friend's kid. I pondered this, but then realized that it was normall the guys' sister, or his best friend's wife who was posting the blog. Clearly, the only pictures that she has of the guys are the ones with her kids. This calmed me down a little because I don't plan to start popping out a bunch of babies anytime in the near future. Just saying.

4. It was amazing to read the kind, loving things that the bloggers said about their single friends. First off, I love that there are so many great people in the world. (Love even more that there are so many great single boys in the world!) Sometimes it's easy to get jaded and fall into the "all guys are jerks" or "all girls are crazy" mentality. Reading about these people and the awesome things that they do made me feel good about our generation. There were guys and girls on there who did amazing things, and I find that inspirational. Second, I love that so many people have friends/family who love them and want them to be happy so much that they will take the time to write a crazy personal ad-type blog for them. That's true friendship at its finest.

And, to answer the question that most of you have been asking since you started reading, no. Mr. Right apparently did not participate in this little game. Or if he did, he did not email me back when I commented! :)