I don't believe in "soul mates." There. I said it.
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| *Shocked faces* |
I've never really found the best way to articulate my argument, beyond the ever-so-eloquent response to "Nuh uh, soul mates do not exist!" I didn't go to law school for nothing, people.
And then ND Friend sent me a blog last week. And as I sat at my computer read it, I just kept thinking YES! This is what I have been trying to say. This is exactly how I feel and exactly what I think.
My belief is this....
I do not think that we are somehow destined to end up with one person. I do not believe that there is one person hand picked for us who will complete us and we are on some crazy mission impossible to find him. And I think that we put way too much pressure on ourselves and on everyone else when we have in our heads that it's not right if he's not our soul mate. Because then the first time you fight or he leaves his socks out on the floor or something is difficult, you automatically are going to think, "Wait, that means he's not my soul mate, I have to keep looking for the one." And what if you thought you found the one, but he didn't agree and fell in love with someone else? Do you just give up and throw in the towel because your soul mate is gone? Too much pressure. I just don't buy it.
What I think is that we choose to love someone. It's a choice. Could you choose someone else to love? Sure. Would you be happy with someone else? Probably. In the end, you make a choice to love someone. And then when we marry them, we make a covenant to keep loving them forever. And from my married friends, my understanding is that based on that covenant, you just keep on making that same choice day after day. Not because he's your soul mate. But because you love him, and you chose him, and you made a covenant to him and to God.
In other words, "Nuh uh, I don't believe in soul mates."
Oh, you want to read the article with the great explanation? Good. You should. Click here.
And seriously, I'm dying to hear everyone's thoughts on this. So please comment!
8 comments:
speaking of soul mates, we must be blog soul mates, because this is the exact blog I typed today.... haha I am actually about to post it.
I completely agree with you 100%! Not once have I ever thought Daddy Rock was my soul mate. Everyday I know he's my best friend and the person I choose to share my life with but occasionally I am reminded why God made us the weaker sex because had he made me physically stronger I just might beat DR with a stick...
~Momma Rock
OMG THIS! 100x THIS!
I agree with everything you just said...however, I do believe that God picked someone for us to marry. My grandparents and parents used to tell me all the time that they prayed for my future husband, that our lives would lead us together so we could be married in God's name.
So I guess I believe that God created the perfect person for us to marry, but I don't know that I'd necessarily call it a soulmate. And yes, being married is a choice, every. Single. Day.
Agree!
I didn’t meet my soul mate when I was 14, I met a boy that I thought was cute and sweet and we ended up not breaking up and we became best friends and we did everything together and then we realized that life just wouldn’t be the same without each other because we spent so many years of our lives together and had been through so much together so we decided to get married. After almost 8 years of being a coupe we’re still together and all because we did everything we could to keep our relationship going. We’re not soul mates we just fell in love and continue to respect and support each other and we happen to share some of the same hopes and dreams. And those are the forces that power our relationship. It’s not magic and we’re not perfect but we both try to make it work.
Word! You choose your attitude. He's going to leave his dirty socks on the floor, wet towel on the bed, forget to call you back, grab a bite to eat when you made dinner and honey he's going to drink too much whiskey on more than one occasion. You will also want to control his every move right down to the shirt he's going to wear in pictures, you will obsess about things he can't understand, you will worry about silly things and you will buy the expensive pair of shoes that he finds ridiculous. He's not perfect and neither are you. I kind of like it that way. That gives you the chance to use his middle name, save it for ammo the next time you want to pick the movie and tease him about it later. It's fun!!!
I don't believe in soulmates either. Or that there is just one person for everyone. I believe there can be multiple great matches for someone. And I also believe that sometimes those matches aren't necessarily romantic in nature.
I believe in soul mates. But any one person can have any number of soul mates and they can come in the form of friends or partners. I don't believe that soul mate implies that someone is perfect - we're all human. And I don't think they necessarily last a lifetime. They are just people with whom the soul connects for a stage or multiple stages of life. We're all constantly changing and growing and our souls change and grow with us.
I believe we can marry a soul mate (someone with whom we share a deep connection - at least for that stage of our lives) but that doesn't mean the marriage will work obviously.
-College Roomie
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