Viva Las Vegas #1: That's Going In The Book

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." ~ An Affair to Remember

Well as y'all know, my family invaded Las Vegas last weekend for Little Brother's wedding.  I could tell right away we were going to have some hilarious quotes that I wanted to remember and to share with you all.  Luckily, I carry a little book in my purse and so when someone would say something funny, I would write it in the book.  After seeing me do this, it became something that everyone said after a funny comment..."that's going in the book!" 

I'm also linking up with Jamie for WILW....I'm loving these quotes! :)

So, without further adieu, I give you....The Book.

Little Cowboy (as we are walking down the strip):  "Hey Tiff?"
Me:  "Yea, buddy.  What's up?"
Little Cowboy:  "In this town, a lot of girls only wear panties."
Me:  *cricket chirp, cricket chirp* (thinking to myself, just keep walking, don't ask me any questions!)

Little Cowboy with Midget Elvis

Drunk Italian guy (standing by girl who was peeing in front of The Venecian):  "I so sorry."
Me:  "Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go."
Drunk Italian guy (pointing at me):  "I want to marry you!"

Random guy at Margaritaville (as my family walked by):  "Oh wow, look, a cowboy convention!"


The Cowboy Convention

Aunt Delta Dawn:  "Is prostitution legal here?  That's on my bucket list."
My Mom (in horror):  "To see one, or be one?"


Ski Trip John (some girl flashed him in the cab and one of our family friends said something about how that girl just did everything in the wrong order):  "Sometimes working backwards might be easier."

Aunt Delta Dawn (after spending the afternoon at margaritavaille while walking over a broken moving sidewalk at Caesar's Palace):  "This thing is not moving, correct?"

Margaritaville!

My Dad (after a super cute, 21 year old blonde in a tiny dress boards the plane):  "I'm sitting by her."

Ski Trip Jerry (talking about his wife):  "She's not as proud of that whiskey as I am."

Aunt Delta Dawn (while watching my mom shop for clothes literally two steps from exiting the airplane):  "Well, better here than at a morturary."  Because my mom seriously asked the funeral home if the clothing on the rack was for sale while planning my grandma's funeral.

My Mom and Little Cowboy

Moomoos (when asked if she was going to bet on the Derby):  "I'm just not feeling that lucky today."  Mind you, this was her wedding day.

Me (taking a boutineer laying on the table at the reception and throwing it into Miss Little's lap):  "Hey, Miss Little caught to bouquet!  Yay!"

Miss Little and Cousin Kevin

Aunt Delta Dawn (after I told her to check out the plane drink menu because I had free drink tickets): "You mean this plane doesn't serve margaritas?"

My Mom (after Aunt Delta Dawn made her throw away her lighter before going through airport security): "It was just one lighter." Yes....it's the NUMBER of them on a plane that causes concern.

Soldier Cousin (to our adorable family friend Little Hepburn):  "I think you're about the least redneck one here."  Not saying much....

Soldier Cousin and Little Hepburn

Uncle Evil Kenieval:  "Nothing like a woman to shut the fun down."

Dr. Kyra, mother to Ski Trip John: "That woman's breast is bigger than John's head."



The Bride, Groom and Little Cowboy with Ski Trip John, Jerry and Dr. Kyra

Little Cowboy (walking through the M&M Store):  "This is like too much good.  Too much."

Aunt Tiff and Little Cowboy at the M&M Store

Mrs. Hepburn:  "Don't count your money when your chickens are dead."  (She was trying to get the don't count your chickens until they hatch quote out).

 The Hepburns on the left and Ski Trip Jerry, John and Dr. Kyra on the right

Uncle Black Belt (trying to get situated on the plane):  "I'm being molested by a seatbelt!"

Cousin Conductor (referring to his yardstick long drink that he brought to the wedding):  "This is my plus one"

Cousin Conductor and his date

Random girl at Peppermill Diner at 3:00 am:  "They were here because I sat on them ******."  Turns out she was referring to her lost shoes and not to actual people.

Cousin Conductor (when his mom walked off and left his drink unattended):  "You can't leave a drink unattended, Mom!  I could have gotten rufied.  If I end up pregnant, this is all on you."

Ski Trip John: "Vegas is dirty. Every night I feel like I just need to go home and wash the sin off of me."

Stay tuned tomorrow when we'll start our day by day recaps!

November Updates

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." ~David Carradine

Sorry this is a little late---I've had a lot of blogs popping into my head lately! But, better late than never, right??

Notre Dame Video!
You might remember from my blog about game day at Notre Dame my telling you about hearing the trumpets playing the fight song under the Golden Dome. Well, lucky for everyone, ND Friend caught this on her trusty iPhone camera! It's worth a listen....trust me! It'll make you want to go out and hit someone on a football field!




What I'm Reading...The High Tech Version.
I have blogged once or twice before about what I am currently reading. Well, a couple weeks ago The Bride introduced me to a whole new high-tech version of this! Meet Good Reads.

Not only does this let you check out what other people think of books before you read them, it also lets you keep a list of the books that you have read. And you can see what your friends are reading! I signed up last weekend (here is a link to my list) and have been uploading books ever since! If any of you create (or already have) your own site, let me know so I can link up with you!

Adding to the Herd.
I frequently talk on here about how I hate to shop. There is an exception.....I do love buying livestock! You'll probably remember me buying my cow and heifer this past spring, and my buying 8 ewes over the summer. A couple weeks ago, I added another ewe lamb to my herd.

People at the office deemed her "cute." Not sure that's what I was going for, but I guess it's not a bad thing either!

Quote of the Month.

We all know that it came from the Blonde Oklahoma Girl. I might as well call this segment "The Blonde Oklahoma Girl Quote of the Month."
Anyway, when we were talking about me going to visit Notre Dame, BOkG said that she loved Notre Dame when she was a kid too and that she even had a Notre Dame starter jacket. I asked if it was because of the football program and Rudy. Oh no.....it was for two reasons. One because a boy she liked in elementary school liked Notre Dame, and two becasue Regis Philbin liked Notre Dame. (Opposites must attract because she's one of my best friends ever and we're clearly nothing alike!) Anyway, as I got off the plane in Chicago, BOkG texted and said that she hoped I would meet Regis at the game. I said I'd keep an eye out. Then she responded with the quote of the month.

"Now, he's very little in real life. So if you see a little person, that might be him!"

Sadly I did not see Regis (nor did I see any little people).....but I did enjoy the quote of the month!

October Updates

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.” ~Unknown

Another month down....time seems to be going by like crazy!

Coming Full Circle.
A while back, I mentioned that I attended the Junior Livestock Sale at the State Fair. It was really fun to be there as a buyer--it felt like things had really come full circle for me after having sold animals there for several years growing up.

I still maintain that the 4-H and FFA show programs are the very best activity that a kid can be involved in. I love that the program helped make me the person I am, and I love being able to give back to it now!

My Blog Could Save a Life.

Hopefully you remember my blog from last month reporting on my Happiness Project goal of volunteering. Well, last week I got a great suprise that seriously made my day. One of my friends, Colorado Girl joined the National Bone Marrow Registry after reading my blog!

Now, I write this blog for myself mostly---to get my thoughts out and to have somewhere to look back on my life and see what was going on. But the fact that my blog convinced her to join the National Bone Marrow Registry, and potentially to save someone's life is so exciting and humbling. Thanks, Colorado Girl for making me feel like there is a chance I could make a difference! If you are interested in joining the registry, click here.

Wedding Bells.
Happy news regarding my blog about the 33 rescued miners in Chile. A couple of weeks ago, 5 of them proposed to their girlfriends. You can read the full story here. Apparently sitting in a mine for over two months makes you realize how much you love someone. (Perhaps that's where Mr. Right needs to be hanging out.....)

(Photo by Hugo Infante)

Quote of the Month.
The trend of two quote winners continues. The Blonde Oklahoma Girl continues her reign, but we have a new addition to our list of winners.....Coach McCain. Well, he didn't actually say the words, but he found them and sent them my way, so he gets credit.

First, the Blonde Oklahoma Girl. You may or may not have heard, but there was an earthquake in Oklahoma last month. Insane, right? Well, we were discussing how stressful that was and about whether tornadoes or earthquakes were worse. She decided earthquakes were. First, you have no warning that they are coming. And second: "How's is a doorway or desk really going to help you when the freaking earth cracks open?"

Second, McCain was reading an old brief (legal document where lawyers make arguments to the court) and came across this line: “Defendant's counsel is not behaving like a member of a learned profession, but more like a caged monkey flinging crap.” He claims that this statement was not written about him, but I have my doubts.

(And, in case you are curious, the worst name I have been called so far in a legal document has been a "circus gypsie.") But I've only been practicing for a little over a year. Give it time.

DON'T FORGET.....enter in this month's giveaway....click here and leave a comment by Thursday at 9:00 pm!

September Updates

"Live in the present and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." ~Ida Scott Taylor

Is it just me, or did September fly by? How is it already October?? Anyway, here are a few updates on stories that you may have enjoyed.

More of the newest Mr. and Mrs. Animal House's Big Day.

I promised more pictures last time, so here we go!

And you have to watch the video....they're just adorable. The Mrs. is officially in charge of planning my wedding one day.

And now for the wedding bloopers. Sadly, the best blooper didn't make the video (the videographer should really be ashamed of himself!) Anyway, they are saying their vows. Mr. Animal House goes first. Then it is Mrs. Animal House's turn. The priest says, "Mrs. Animal House, reapeat after me. Brian, I love you because I do." Now, because you don't know Mr. Animal House's first name (unless you watched the video...) you don't realize why this is funny. Suffice it to say, it's not Brian. And, because it was Mr. Animal House, he doesn't just let it go...he leans over and very calmly says, "Um....I'm [insert his actual name.]" Everyone in the church about died laughing.

Second blooper was the bus. All of us out of towners hopped the bus out to the wedding. Very convenient an safe considering the open bar that was ahead. But the poor driver managed to high center (is it called that when it's the back instead of the center of the bus??) the bus at the cemetery next to the church. Yea. Everyone had to catch rides with random people to get to the reception. Classic.

State Fair Report

I don't think that I ever did a blog about how the sheep show went for my family at the State Fair. I got terribly sick that week, so forgive me! You'll remember back in April we had our annual show lamb sale. Well, things turned out pretty well!

First, in the show only for lambs born in this state, we had a class and division winner! Say hello to the champ himself, "JB." (Excuse my dad who looks like he's taking a mug shot!)
In the regular show, we also had a class winner in the crosses, but the picture of that lamb has not arrived yet. Stay tuned for another upate to come.

The Ring.

You might remember a while back I blogged about our Family Centennial celebration. One of the topics I covered was the ring that I remembered seeing when I was 9 years old and got to see again while I was in town. I discovered a picture and felt the need to share so that everyone understands just why I remembered this ring for almost 15 years! It would be the huge rock on her right hand.
Quote of the Month:
This month, we have two winners. They are (not surprisingly) the Okahoma Girls.
First, the Blonde Oklahoma Girl and I were discussing boys. In particular, we were discussing this recent situation we keep seeing where they are into way younger girls, and ignore the fact that a great girl their own age is right under their nose. And, I'll probably get in trouble for telling on him....but I guess we'll see if he actually reads the blog. Cousin Swiss Mister was one of the worst examples. He wrote something in an email along the lines of "Girl #1 is Norwegian. She's smart and a PhD and she is really nice and cooks dinner for me and has a good head on her shoulders. But Girl #2 is a young, hot Spanish babysitter." (Note: Country names have been changed to protect the innocent). Needless to say, we were not impressed. The Blonde Oklahoma Girl's analysis: "He is being an ass in every language!" Well said!

Second, Loud Oklahoma Girl and I were also complaining about boys. Does anyone notice a pattern here?? Anyway, I emailed her an said that I was going to become a nun tomorrow because I was sick of boys and all that jazz. Her response: "Please wait to order your habit until after I come down and see you. We have a lot of drinking to do for your birthday!" Hard to argue with that logic.

August Updates

"The measure of good life is the accumulation of good memories." ~ Anonymous

Mr. and Mrs. Animal House Boy. As you may remember from a prior update, I headed to Texas over Labor Day weekend for the wedding of one of my guy friends from college. These two are a perfect match and their wedding was beyond gorgeous! More than once someone said, "Man, this is just like a movie!"
I failed to get pictures of the venue (which was the bride's parents' ranch) so I have been keeping any eye on facebook to find some. So far, I just found one, that shows the lake (over which fire works were set off through out the night!) I'll keep an eye out for more and share in a later update.
And I always love love love getting to catch up with my Animal House boys and their wives. These are some of my favorite guys in the world!

Pokes Win! Pokes Win! College football is off and running---love love love this time of year! I missed most of the games opening weekend because of the wedding. But no worries, the Governor kept our whole group up to date on all of the details with his trusty i-phone snuck into his tux pocket!
Anyway, in case you haven't heard, my Pokes come out firing and beat Washington State 65-17. And just in case you forgot---OSU would be the team from Oklahoma that killed a PAC-10 team, and not that other team who almost got beat by a no-name WAC team. Would have hated for there to be any confusion. You can check out game highlights below!



Kirk Herbstreit Syndrome Strikes Again. You all probably remember the prior Kirk Herbstreit blog. I was chatting with a guy sitting next to me on the plane ride back home from Texas. He noticed I had out my ESPN magazine to prepare for my fantasy football draft (thank you Childhood Friend for giving me that!). We got to talking about football......and at one point he was talking about how excited Denver is about Tebow. The he says, "They really hate....oh shoot, I can't remember the last quarterback's name." I immediately respond, "Jake Cutler." He looks at me sort of perplexed and says, "Wow, you really do know your football don't you!" Sigh. Yes. I do. And apparently this knowledge is a curse.

Getting Old. Not only am I apparently no longer Forever 21, but I've noticed myself doing things, and getting excited about things, that just make me seem really old. First off, last week I finalized my Advanced Healthcare Directive (aka a healthcare power of attorney--you appoint someone to make healthcare decisions for you in the event that you are incapacitated). Young people don't do these things. Secondly, I was balancing my checkbook the other day after not doing it for a couple of weeks and when I got to the end and it balanced with the bank statement, I was so excited. And then I wasn't because I realized I'm becoming a loser.

Quote of the Month. We have two winners this month. And I have a picture of them together. :)
Our first winner is College Roomie. We were laying by the pool last a couple of weekends ago. She asks me, "What are you going to wear on your date this week?" I responded, "It's not a date, we're just friends having dinner. It' just like when you and I go to dinner. That's not a date either." And then she responded with the quote, "Hey, he's paying. And he has a penis. That's a date in my book." Classic. Just classic.

And while it looked like Blonde Oklahoma Girl was going to be dethroned from her reign as winner of quote of the month, she came through at the last minute with a gem. "Stupid Tiger Woods. He really ruined everything for us girls, because now every guy thinks he can be a [non-blog friendly word] and get away with it. I knew I didn't like golf for a reason."

July Updates

"The measure of good life is the accumulation of good memories." ~ Anonymous

Best Wedding Job Ever. As you have read about, and seen pictures from, I go to a lot of weddings. In fact, last week, someone told me that I go to more weddings than anyone he knows. I blame this on the fact that I know A LOT of people! Anyway, I've done pretty much every job at a wedding--guest book girl, cake cutter, videographer, bridesmaid.....just need to be the important one in a white dress and I have them all checked off.

But a couple weeks ago, I got the best wedding job appointment ever. One of my boys, the Animal House Boys, from college is getting married in September to a fantastic girl. (For those of you who know the boys....he did not live in the house, but he might as well have, so he's included in the group definition).

Their wedding website listed all of their wedding party, which included just about all of the boys from our group. I was sadly absent, so I sent a little text message asking if I was just chopped liver or what! Literally two minutes later, my Animal House boy told me to look at the website again. And there I was....listed right under the flower girls as.........."Legal Counsel."

Talk about making my day! So, Animal House boy and his soon to be Mrs., thank you for the title....I can't wait for the big day! Flowers. I know how Miranda Lambert feels. Yes, that's right. I've killed more flowers. (Remember this is the second death....) The after picture would be too depressing, so I'll spare you. I blame this death on being out of town for the weekend of the 4th to sort sheep and for the Centennial Celebration. So, in light of this growing season being a disaster, I have given up on flowers. Instead, I'll go to Trader Joes and buy the already grown ones and put them in a vase. That, I can handle!

Happiness Project. This month's Happiness Project focus was on being happier at work. The last couple months have been insanity at the office, so it's taken longer than I hoped. I've been able to implement a few of my goals, but several others are still in the works. So...I'm giving myself an extra month on this one. Stay tuned for my report at the end of August!

The Lost Rant Letters. I hear a few people wrote rant letters after reading that blog. Well, I found two of the long lost rant letters that me, College Roomie, and the Oklahoma Girls circulated. I had to share some of the funnier ones.

"I honestly have no idea why I ever even liked you...actually I know why. That year that I met you, I had become very close with my friend Jose Cuervo and he had obviously convinced me that I should go out with you. Never again will I ever listen to Mr. Cuervo."

"You were skinnier than me, which is a long-term deal breaker."
"I blame it on on halloween parties, and the fact you were once dressed as a penguin...it was kind of cute. Not anymore...I will never trust a penguin."

"You're getting fat and feel like you have to put other people down to make yourself feel better."

"You didn't want anything to do with me after I went to the George Strait concert. Your loss....you should know, no one and I mean no one comes between me and the King...no one!!"

Letters to (Future) Me. My girls and I all did a letter to me (except for one of the Okahoma Girls who needed to do a man rant letter instead...understandable!.....but she'll do one soon). Anyway, after we wrote those, we decided that we wanted to write letters to ourselves--to be read in the future! So, the plan is to each write a letter in 2010 that will be opened in 2020. We're also each getting a disposable camera and taking pictures that we will not develop until 2020. Let's hope that they still develop film by then.... And last, but not least, the quote of the month.

College Roomie had a really good quote, but we both forgot what it was. Sorry about that. But never fear, the same Oklahoma Girl struck gold again!
"Wanted: tall, dark and handsome good lovin manly man that can two step, loves Jesus, his momma and OSU football. Is this too hard to find?.....Apparently!"

Amen, sister!

(I also have a blog comment of the month--my friend Pig Farmer's Wife left a gem on my blog about why Kirk Herbstreit is killing my love life). It led to all sorts of interesting comments!

Beautiful Girls....All Over the World....

"We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world." ~Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech

A couple weeks ago on the radio, I heard a statistic that was shocking to me at first, but then really got me thinking. Here's the statistic:

When asked, only 2% of women said that they thought they were beautiful.

When I heard the statistic, I first though of that older country song, "She Don't Know She's Beautiful" and had that stuck in my head all day. Annoying!

But beyond that, I was mad. I thought to myself, "Wow, girls need to work on their self esteem." But then I wondered, if someone asked me that question, what would I have said? Honestly, I would be one of the 98% who would say no if you straight up asked me. It was really funny to me that I was all offended, but then when I looked at it honestly, I'm part of the problem. The problem is this. We don't see what other people see. We are so much harder on ourselves.

If you asked me to pick out my best girl friends, I would tell you that all of them are beautiful, and I would mean it because they are (some of their pictures are on this blog to prove it!). But the odds are, based on that statistic, not one of them would say the same about herself. When we look at ourselves, we only see the problem areas, and don't look at the whole picture. If we're lucky, we have people in our lives who try and help us see past our own warped opinions and let us know we're beautiful---hopefully on the inside and out. At least I hope that I'm that person in the lives of my girl friends.
Another interesting observation that I made while listening to the radio discussion is that guys think just about all girls are beautiful. It's totally true that guys do not think the way girls think about beauty. Don't get me wrong--I think if Megan Fox knocked on any guy's door, he'd be all over it. But I don't think that guys look at every inch of a girl's body and compare it to Megan. A lot of guys on the radio said that they honestly think the opposite of women---instead of only 2% being beautiful, they would say that 98% are beautiful. (Perhaps we should lay off the boy bashing sessions for a minute...just a minute though!)

It's girls who do the judging--to themselves and to other girls. Think about it--even like walking down the street I think we are totally judgmental of other women. That's probably a huge part of the problem....I don't think it's all Hollywood. And I don't think it's all men. I think a lot of it probably is us doing it to ourselves and each other.
Anyway, my point is this. We need to work on our self esteem and stop being so hard on ourselves and on other girls. Life is hard enough as it is without that added stress. And, in closing, while this whole issue with my girls, this comment was made.....yes, the Oklahoma Girl strikes again with a gem:

I guess we all just need to be thankful we have boobs, big or small and don't have a nasty penis like boys, we have the luxury of peeing sitting down, instead of peeing standing up, and we, thank goodness are not hairy like guys...they are hairy all over...gross!!
Hard to argue there. Sometimes an Oklahoma Girl quote is worth a thousand words.