Enjoying Your 10 Cows

My friend Ski Trip Jerry is quite the philosopher. You might not expect this if you saw him, as he would likely be wearing boots and jeans, talking to you with an unassuming smile, and maybe drinking a Natty Light.  But over the years I have heard many pearls of wisdom come out of his mouth.

My favorite, though, is the most recent. 

We were talking at BB's birthday about the little cow herd we are building.  Ski Trip Jerry told us that he now only has 10 cows.  "Some big rancher I am, huh?" 

But, he said, he enjoys them. When he goes to feed, he can pet half of them. He likes to see the calves come every year.  And then, the pearl....

"You know, I bet you I get more enjoyment from my 10 cows than {a certain big rancher we know} gets from his 2,500 cows." 

And that really struck me... I hope that I live my life in that same way that Ski Trip Jerry thinks about his cows. 

I hope I can get more enjoyment out of my life than someone who might have "more." I want to feel more appreciation, more love, and more gratitude even if the material things we have are less.  I hope I will always enjoy what we have, whether that be 10 cows or a small house or an older vehicle.  I want to appreciate sunsets more. To enjoy small family trips even though others are taking extravagant European adventures.  I want to remember where we started when the list of house projects left to do seem overwhelming.  I want to be thankful for the little moments, like BB's laughter or The Boy from Texas's grin, or the cows running towards us with the cake bucket.  I hope that when I wish we had more--land or money or stuff or time--I will remember to be grateful for that which we have been given.  

I hope that I--like Ski Trip Jerry--always enjoy my 10 cows. And I wish the same for all of you. 

Drawing Up a Play

Is it just me, or has the world gone off its rocker in the last month or so?  I feel like there is hatred and division everywhere.  Then throw in the massacre last weekend in Orlando and it's just all too much for me.  My mind can't wrap around what is happening and what in the world needs to be done to change it. I can't figure out how the heck I'm supposed be raising good kids in this mess.  If BB and LL were old enough to ask questions, how would I answer them?


And, fortunately, I'm not alone. I've talked to other friends who are finding themselves without answers as well.  I mean really good people who are trying hard to do their very best to follow Jesus, but feel like their heads are spinning right now about what that looks like in this current situation.  As much as I'd like it to be, I just don't think things are all black and white.

There's not a play in the book for exactly what to do here.  I need Jesus to have sat down with a dry erase clip board and some X's and O's to show me exactly where I'm supposed to be running and how to catch the dang ball on this one.

I think the best we can do is try to live justly and treat people right.  We can pray and read the Bible and go to church and love our neighbor.  We can do our very best to show people Jesus.

For me, I've decided that it looks like kindness.  I don't care whether someone is a Muslim or Christian or gay or transgender or has assault rifles in their gun safe.  I'm going to be kind.  I'm going to be respectful.  I'm going to treat them like human beings.  I will listen to those with different beliefs.  I will respect that they have the right to their beliefs, just like I have the right to mine.  I will mourn anytime ANYONE is killed.  I will ask God for mercy and healing and hope.

I'm erring on the side of kindness.  That's the play I've drawn up on my clipboard.

Because that's my best understanding about what Jesus would do.  And I may get to Heaven one day and find out that I'm going about this completely wrong.  But, as one of my very favorite prayers by Thomas Merton says, "But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you."

Lord, help us all.

The Perfect Baby

Things are about to get real serious here on my usually lighthearted blog.

I'm a member of a group on Facebook and last week someone asked for prayers for her friend who was pregnant.  The woman had long wanted a baby.  But when she had the genetic screening tests done, she learned that her child tested at an increased risk for Down's Syndrome.  And now, she has decided to abort the baby because of these results.

My heart is broken into a million pieces.

Genetic Screening Tests Are Often Wrong.

Having lived through a positive result to a Down's Syndrome screening test myself, I sympathize with the fear and worry this mother is facing.  And although I never thought of killing the baby (let's call a spade a spade, I'm not a fan of terms like "terminating the pregnancy"), I cried for days worrying about my unborn son and what this would mean for him and for our family.  It is scary.  It's not part of your plan.  There are unknowns.  You are hormonal and emotional and fat and it just seems like too much to handle.

For us, in the end, the test was wrong.  Our nearly 4 month old son was born without Down's.  Had we taken this woman's approach and killed our baby, we'd have missed out on the joy of this little face every single day.

But I will tell you what that incorrect positive test did for us.  It allowed us to grow in our faith, because we realized that God was in control and the baby he had created for us was going to be just that...the baby for us, regardless of the number of chromosomes he had. And, should our next baby be born with an extra chromosome, well I think we'll just be even more ready to love him or her after all of this. It allowed us to grow in our love for one another.  Hearing my husband resolve that if the test was right, that baby would have a good life with us is easily one of the moments I have loved him most.  And, I believe, it has given us an understanding and a perspective from which to encourage others facing a similar situation.  Not only to tell that the tests are frequently wrong, but also to encourage if the test is accurate.  As difficult of a test as this was to walk through, if God can use it and use us for good, I am more than happy to have born that cross.

Babies With Downs Tremendous Blessing.

Knowing several people who have children with Down's Syndrome, I know what a huge blessing those kiddos are to a family. I am sure there are huge challenges raising a baby with Down's.  But...hello...there are huge challenges raising a baby period.  But there are amazing blessings as well.

My friend in Chicago has a precious daughter with Down's, and I absolutely adore her stories of Jen's humor, love, and mischief (like swiping cash from anyone's wallet she can get her hands on).  If you don't follow #Benstagram on Instagram, get over there this minute and you will see the cutest little Asian boy with Down's.  I have a co-worker whose teenage son with Down's is my favorite thing to see on Facebook....had you seen this kid in his Where's Waldo Halloween costume, you'd agree for sure.  My friend from law school has a precious little girl who is frequently recorded playing rock song drum solos with her dad.

I thank God for all the Down's Syndrome babies I know, and for all of their parents who are fulfilling their challenging, yet beautiful vocation, of loving these precious souls.

You're Not Going To Get a "Perfect" Baby.

I despise the idea that if a baby is not "perfect" he or she is not worthy of living. You know who thought this way?  Hitler.  Let that sink in a minute.  Newsflash: There is no perfect baby.

That cute face of ours?

He has severe acid reflux.  And a heart murmur.  And he's started this yelling thing that can drive you just about batty.  Does that mean somehow we should not have wanted him?  That we should not have loved him?

And where is that line?  Why is Down's something that justifies killing the baby but acid reflux is not?  What about allergies?  Bad knees?  ADHD?

You are not going to get a perfect baby, but you will get the baby that is perfect for you.  I have no desire to question God's plan by thinking I know better.  Been there, done that, learned my lesson, have the t-shirt.  I never know better.

Please pray.

All of this said, please pray for the particular woman mentioned in our Facebook group, and for all women who face a positive genetic screening test.  That their hearts will be open.  That they will find support from those around them.  That they will find the strength to fulfill the important vocation to which they have been called.  And that their baby will be loved.  

Lord, hear our prayers.

Worth The Read

Well, yet again, I've been too busy to keep up with the blog as much as I'd like.  I spent most of last week in the Hill Country for work meetings, and then over the weekend The Boy from Texas and I hit up his family reunion and then a wedding reception for some of our friends in New Mexico.  No rest for the wicked, right?

Black is slimming....unless you're pregnant.  Nothing is slimming.

Group photo at the reception.

In the meantime, thank goodness some other folks are blogging and writing excellent pieces for me to share!  Do yourself a favor.  Read these.

1.  Saying Yes To The Wait.  My friend Katy has done it yet again.  Any post that kicks off with my favorite Bible verse is bound to be good.  She did not disappoint.  We often hear about the idea of saying yes to God, in particular with regard to being open to children.  Katy discusses this from slightly different perspective....saying yes when God says you have to wait.  Anyone who is in a waiting stage should definitely read this post.

"Sometimes we say yes to God -- and nothing happens, at least nothing that we can see with our limited viewpoint. Sometimes we say yes to the wait. And, honestly, I think that is the braveryes....the one that is questioned by others (did God really call you to this city, this ministry, this life?) and sometimes even questioned by ourselves (is this really what He wanted?)

A yes to waiting, trusting and seeking joy amidst uncertainty.  A yes to future fulfilling of current longings and calling.  A yes to obeying even without seeing. A yes to vulnerability and hope and disappointment. A yes to change, growth and repentance. A yes to brokenness, struggle, surrender and pain during the wait. A yes to reminding yourself of God's goodness even when you do not feel it."
2.  It Ends With Your Warm Beer on the Table Between Us.  Meg Fee is one of my favorite writers---she's amazing.  This post is great for the single ladies out there who need the reminder she offers.... "It is not my job to convince a man to love me."  Amen, sister!

3.  Grace for this Season.  My friend April should have her own tv show.  No, seriously.  She's awesome.  She is super crafty, a great mom, does fun things on the weekend like family cooking challenges, and writes beautiful blog posts like Grace for this Season.  She looks back at a time during Bible Study where a girl opened her heart with a problem, only to be offered a Christian catch phrase of "It's just a season."  Now, April wishes that she could have offered her much better advice and understanding.

"Those Christian catch phrases might look good on the back of your mini van, but they do nothing to soothe a wounded soul."

4.  No One Else Is Going To Do It.  I can't really relate to Hannah's current situation--traveling across Europe with a class of teenagers, or her past living in Europe alone after college.  But what I can relate to is the idea that sometimes, adulthood slaps me in the face and I realize that if I don't take care of something, no one else will.  No one is going to clean up my mess or research my health insurance options or ensure my bills are paid on time.  That's adulthood, kids, plain and simple.

"Life is full of moments where things are going wrong and we don’t know what to do. I’m not bashing seeking good advice or help at all, as those are amazing things. But sometimes, stressing about what to do is so much more painful than just deciding that YOU are the one who needs to do whatever it is, and then doing it. Sometimes it is strangely easier to decide that no one else is going to clean this up, and then doing hopping to it."

5.  Supreme Court Ruling.  I have zero desire to get into a political debate on the Court's ruling last week finding state's bans on same-sex marriage to be unconstitutional.  ZERO DESIRE.  But as I've read and thought and prayed about this issue a great deal over the last several days, I've come across two articles that have done, in my mind, an excellent job pointing out the opinion I hold the strongest.  That we are called to be kind to one another.  That spewing hatred or condemnation or anger is not productive or helpful or enlightening.  We must love one another.  

My friend and Catholic blogger, Meg Hunter Kilmer put it this way in her excellent post titled #Lovewins.

"Whether you found yesterday glorious or discouraging, in the end Love wins. Our task is to live for that Love. Whatever side you’re on, drop your weapons. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. You want Love to win? Live like it."

Another blogger, who I don't know in real life, put it this way in her post "The Day that Love Won: A Response to the Supreme Court's Ruling."

"And while I have my own opinions of the Supreme Court’s ruling, you won’t find my support or my rejection voiced here. My reason is simple. It is not because I am ashamed of how I feel, nor because I am afraid. It is not because I lack conviction… because I have my own strong opinions of the ruling.

It is because I recognize that my personal convictions voiced loudly have the ability to silence conversations that I might have with people that I know. It is because I believe that one on one conversations are where hearts can be heard and where convictions can meet compassion."

The Godparents

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”  ~Bl. Mother Teresa

It was a fairly short discussion of who we would ask to be The Baby from Texas' Godparents.  If you know these folks, you understand why.  I told one of my friends, who has only briefly met The Godparents, and her immediate response was, "Man!  I want them to be my kid's godparents too!"

They are the perfect pair to model faith for our child.

Her faith is quite intellectual and traditional.  She is one of the smartest people I know.  She knows all of the prayers.  She knows the life stories of all of the saints.  She takes vacations to do things like journal and pray with the monks in Vienna.  Upon meeting The Boy from Texas and discussing horses with him, she marched over to me and announced "If you don't marry him, I will!"  She has faithfully prayed for The Baby from Texas before he even existed, shares my love for the Washington National Cathedral, and devotion to the Infant of Prague.  She also wears eccentric clothes, shares borderline inappropriate inside jokes, and knows where to throw in a good curse word.

His faith is quietly and unassumingly lived out.  I don't know how often he goes to church on Sundays and I'm willing to bet that other than the Apostles, he can't name another saint.  But I know that he lives his life being kind and patient and caring to others.  I've watched for nearly a decade as he befriended every new person on our Family Ski Trip.  By the time those three days were over, they all loved him and many had poured their heart to him and received an open ear and solid advice in return. And other than the lady who drafted him into the Army in the 1960's, whom he refers to as the Bug-Eyed B*$&%, I've never heard him utter a negative word about anyone else.

I find faith to be a fascinating thing.  And I believe that different people practice and perfect their faith in different ways.  Whether that be reading classic theology or giving someone life advice over a beer, the world needs faithful people.  The Baby from Texas needs faithful examples.  We're so glad that he has those in The Godparents.

Because of Her

"It is not primarily out of compassion for humanity that we share our faith or pray for the lost; it is first of all, love for God.” ~ John Piper

My Aunt Jean lived right down the road from us, our nearest neighbor.  She and my Gran were best friends, so growing up we spent a lot of time at her house.  We picked peas in her fields.  Ate lots of "Aunt Jean's candy," which I now know to be the mini Hershey's bars that she bought at K-Mart.  I can still remember the clothes pin apron she always wore, the color and location of her living room furniture, and how even if we had been there for hours, when we left, she'd always say, "I just sure wish y'all wouldn't run off!"

When her daughter posted a Mother' Day tribute, she thanked her mom for being the best at many things, including teaching her children common sense and to love God.  The comments started pouring in.  I was first and said that any list of what Aunt Jean did best simply had to include cheesecake.  Y'all.  I don't even like cheesecake.  But she made hers with some sort of manna from Heaven because it was to.die.for.

I enjoyed reading through the rest of the comments that day as well, people remembering her cinnamon rolls, carrot cakes....anyone noting a theme here?  And then, one comment really stood out.

"Because of her, my husband is on his way to Heaven one day."

Stopped me dead in my tracks.  Everything else...all the money, all the diplomas, all the baking ability....doesn't matter.  This is what we're here for.  To help God lead each other to Heaven. How often do I completely miss the point? Aunt Jean didn't.  And there is no cheesecake that can beat that.  Although, Aunt Jean's did come awful close.

The Sentence That Made Me Love Him Even More

"We've just said yes to God, and we know He will handle everything from here." ~Britt Fisk

I love that Boy from Texas.  Even when he is giving me wet willies or putting the Brita back in the fridge empty or claiming he didn't know that he used the last of the toilet paper.  I always love him. But a couple weeks ago, there was a sentence uttered that made me love him even more.

After doing a second trimester genetic screening to check the baby for issues like Down's Syndrome or Cystic Fibrosis or Spina Bifida, we got a phone call that sort of knocked the wind out of us.  "Your baby screened positive for Down's Syndrome.  Don't panic, there are a lot of false positives on this test, but you'll need to come in and take another definitive blood test to find out for sure."  Felt like someone punched me in the stomach.  I am not at an advanced maternal age, we have no family history, and our ultrasound was clear.  This news was a complete shock.

The next 24 hours were a blur of internet research, prayers, and worry.  Our doctor informed me that I had researched and analyzed this issue and the screening test better than anyone he had ever seen.  I said thank you.  I cried over the perfectly-timed words of my blog friend, Maureen, who explained that her daughter's Down's Syndrome limitations were actually a gift.  I appreciated the explanation on saying yes to life written by my sweet friend, Britt.  I struggled to pray the right words and to maintain the right attitude....that the baby be healthy, but if we were called to this, that we would have the strength and grace we would need.

At one point, The Boy from Texas asked the very simple question, "What happens if he does have it, what can they do?"  The answer was fairly simple.  Nothing.  You either have a baby with Down's Syndrome or you do not have the baby.  Without missing a beat, The Boy from Texas forcefully responded, "Well then if he has it, we will have a baby with Down's Syndrome and we will love him and he will have a good life with us."  And suddenly, I didn't need to worry about praying the right words anymore.  Because The Boy from Texas had articulated it better than I ever could have.  With one sentence, he summed up so much of what we were feeling.

In the end, after taking the second test and waiting 10 agonizing days for the results, we received confirmation that The Baby from Texas does not have Down's Syndrome.  The initial screen was, indeed, a false positive.

Today, we ask that you join us in praying.  Prayers of thankfulness that The Baby from Texas is healthy.  Prayers for those who are in the waiting period to learn their results.  Prayers for those parents who are called to raise a child with Down's Syndrome.  And especially prayers for those babies whose parents might not be as willing to embrace this diagnosis as my sweet husband was.  All children are a blessing, regardless of how many chromosomes they have.  Lord, hear our prayers.

Good Friday and Embracing Our Cross

If you've read this blog for, oh, maybe 5 minutes, you know that I am a Saint John Paul II devotee.  He was a Godly, good, powerful man.  He helped bring down communism.  Bravely survived Nazism.  He was an athlete of whom you've probably seen photos skiing or kayaking.  He seemed larger than life.

Ten years ago on Good Friday, my favorite photo of Pope John Paul II was taken.

Photo via Pinterest

It shows not only a powerful Pope holding a crucifix, but a child of God, embracing his cross.

During his earthly life, Pope John Paul II greatly suffered.  He lost his mother at a young age.  Then, his brother.  He lost many friends during the Holocaust.  There were two men that attempted to take his life during his time as Pope.  And then, came Parkinson's disease, that eventually succeeded in doing what those two men could not.  And yet through the struggle and the pain, he remained faithful.
He must have understood that which is so hard for us to comprehend....sometimes, maybe oftentimes, God uses suffering to draw us closer to him, to make us more holy.

As we remember the events of the first Good Friday, as we recall Jesus embracing his own cross as he carried it up the hill, as the nails were drilled into its wood, and was it was risen into the sky, let's remember the importance and value of embracing our own cross.  Whatever that may be.

And when Sunday comes and we celebrate the Savior who defeated the cross, let us remember that our suffering, our cross, is only temporary.  And that the reason we have that assurance and hope is that Jesus willingly embraced his cross all those years ago.

Wishing you all a blessed Good Friday and a joyous Easter!

Thin Places

You might remember that as part of my 15 in '15 list, I recently read Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist.  In that book, there is one chapter called Thin Places that put forth an idea that I really loved.  Here's an explanation from the book.

"Thin places: places where the boundary between the divine world and the human world becomes almost nonexistent, and the two, divine and human, can for a moment, dance together uninterrupted. Some are physical places, and some aren't places at all, but states of being or circumstances or season."

This got me thinking about the thin places in my life.  Those times, circumstances, places where God felt so close.  And there were many.

The adoration chapel at St. Thomas Aquinas in College Station where I spent many nights praying and hoping and seeking peace about what the future would hold.  The morning I woke up and decided to completely change my planned law school and despite it being too late to really make that change, it worked out perfectly.  The Grotto at Notre Dame.  Riding horses across the open pasture. Seeing the worn kneeler used by St. John Paul II in Poland.  Praying with The Boy from Texas during our wedding ceremony.  Services at the Washington National Cathedral, built as a place of worship for all.

It is a beautiful thing, the thin places.  And as wonderful as those places and experiences are, we know that when even the thin line is gone and there is nothing separating the human from the divine, it will be even better.

Praise God for the thin places.

What Real Friendship Looks Like

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." ~ John 15:12-13

Over the years, I've had several friends struggle with infertility.  One, in particular, in whose journey I have been more involved than the rest.  We've talked for hours about ovulating and I've gone with her to buy pregnancy tests and I've cried for her when the result we prayed for did not come.  I've prayed Novenas and read books and just keep believing that her baby will come.

When I found out we were expecting The Baby from Texas, I was both excited and scared to share the news with her.  I know that it must feel like a knife to the heart to see other people getting what she so badly wants.  And although I've never felt that pain with regards to a baby, I sure felt it for years with regards to a shiny ring.

The one night on the phone, I decided it was time to break the news.  Timidly, I told her.

And her reaction was what real friendship looks like.

She screamed.  Then she screamed again.  Then she demanded that she be invited to the baby shower and made clear she will be coming to visit and help with the baby arrives.  What are we thinking on names?  Will we find out the gender?  Will we tell her when we find out?  This is just the best news.

I just cried while trying to keep up with her excitement and barrage of questions.

I believe that part of our purpose on this earth is to show love to others as God loves us.  My friend hit it out of the park on this one.  Selfless love.  Unconditional support.  Honest joy.

I could not be more grateful for her friendship, her Christlike example, and her love.  And I know she will make a great mom when her time comes.

But for now, she better believe I'm taking her up on the offer to help change diapers.

I Will Remember

Last Sunday, we went to church.  We walked right in the door.  We sat in the pews.  Prayed.  Sang songs out of the hard-backed red hymnal.   "Oh come though long expected Jesus...."  We professed our faith. "I believe in God, the Father almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth...."  We stood as the Gospel was read.  We freely gave our tithes and offerings.  We listened to a homily given from a pulpit.  We shared aloud of own prayer requests.  We were blessed with the sign of the cross and told to go in peace.

At the same time, around the world, twenty one men were beheaded for their beliefs.  They were not able to sing hymns in church that morning.  They had no opportunity to place money in the offering plate.  Instead, because of their beliefs--the same beliefs that I hold so dear--they lost their lives.

While we repeated the Affirmation of Faith, they lived it.  And lost their lives because of it.

Today, as we celebrate Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, I want to remember these men.  I want to remember all of those around the world who are persecuted, beaten, and martyred for their faith.  As I prepare to celebrate Easter, I know that remembering their story will change my heart.

When I don't feel like reading my Bible, I will remember.  When I feel too tired to pray, I will remember.  When going to church seems like a drag, I will remember.  When I want to curse, I will remember.  When I take for granted my freedom to worship, I will remember.

Pope Francis put it best.   "The blood of Christians is a testimony that cries out to be heard. It makes no difference whether they be Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant. They are Christians! Their blood is one and the same. Their blood confesses Christ."

Inspiration for your Friday

I've come across several great quotes and articles about faith lately, so I thought I'd share some of those with you all today.

* Nicole Kidman and Jimmy Kimmel's Story.  You may have seen the video of Nicole Kidman talking about meeting (and liking) Jimmy Kimmel years ago, who had no idea she was interested.  After watching that blog, Annie Downs wrote this amazing article.  Go read it right now (and watch the video because it's hilarious).

Her point is that God is always in control, and his timing is always perfect. In light of that, we should thank him for the missed opportunities in our lives.   A few of my favorite lines.

I needed to be reminded that God’s sovereign hand is tightly gripped around my little life.

God knew all along.

We will never know how many near misses and misunderstood stories and random circumstances all had to dance together to get us right here, with the right people, at the right time.  But He knows.

* Let Them See You.  I've had this song on repeat for a week.  I just think that it's not only a beautiful song, but such a perfect prayer.

Let them see You in me let them hear You when I speak
Let them feel You when I sing
Let them see You, let them see You in me

* Baylor Quarterback Gets It.  After Baylor lost the Cotton Bowl in terrible fashion....letting Michigan State come back from like 21 down....BU quarterback, Bryce Petty, made the following statement.

* Burn the Candles.  I think this is maybe the best New Years advice I've ever read.  I'm a total saver.  I don't wear my favorite jeans because they'll wear out.  I don't burn my favorite candles because I can only buy them in the fall (thanks Bath and Body Works).  If I'm honest, I waste days thinking they are not special enough.  Every day is a gift.  Every.single.one.  So we need to stop saving up our best candles, our best attitudes, our best things for special occasions.  The fact that we are still here on earth means it is a special occasion.  I am going to consciously work on doing better at this over the next year!


What would would it look like for you, this year, to burn your candles, to allow yourself to be as loved and worthy as the people around you believe you are? What are you hoarding away for another day, for someone else, someone more deserving or special or fancy? What have you been given that you won’t allow yourself to enjoy?

Open the jam, the journal, the wine. Slather that fancy lotion all over your feet. Put on those sparkly earrings even if you’re just going to the grocery store. Because someone gave them to you out of love. Accept that love. Burn the candles.

All Lives Matter

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." ~ Galatians 3:28


*It is with a heavy heart I take a break from the wedding recap to speak words that I just feel need to be said.  We will finish the last two wedding posts this week.*

You've seen the mantras.  The hashtags.  The rallying cries.  "Black lives matter."  "Police lives matter."  

But if you ask me, we are completely missing the point--and worse--furthering the agenda of hatred and divisiveness. 

Instead, why don't we focus on the idea that ALL lives matter.  Police. Young black men.  Single mothers.  Muslims.  The dying.  The homeless.  Gun owners. Vegetarians.  Cattle ranchers.  The mentally ill.  The elderly.  The condemned.

Perhaps if we all took this approach, the tragic deaths of people like Eric Garner and Michael Brown and officers Ramos and Liu would not occur.  Maybe we could avoid hostage sieges in Australia.  We would not have news stories about deplorable "interrogation methods" used against people.  There would be no beheading of Christians on Iraq.  We would not have to read headlines about death row exonerations that came too late. 

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I think we would do well to recall that He became man to save ALL people.  That ALL people were created in the likeness and image of God.  And that it is ALL people who are part of His divine plan.

All lives matter.  Hashtag it, remember it, but most importantly, live it.

Advent 2014

"What has happened to the old-fashioned, spiritual Christmas? The cause is our disregard of Advent. The church set aside this four-week pre-Christmas season as a time of spiritual preparation for Christ’s coming. It is a time of quiet anticipation. If Christ is going to come again into our hearts, there must be repentance. Without repentance, our hearts will be so full of worldly things that there will be ‘no room in the inn’ for Christ to be born again.…We have the joy not of celebration. Which is the joy of Christmas, but the joy of anticipation." ~John R. Brokhoff

The season of Advent is upon us.  This is a time when Christians prepare their hearts to celebrate coming of Jesus.  I absolutely love this season and look forward to it each year.  I thought I'd share a few of the things I will be doing to prepare for Christmas this year.

Adoration once a week.  Much to my delight, Super Mom informed me about a parish here in my new town that offers perpetual adoration.  You may remember from this post, leaving the beautiful adoration chapel in College Station was one of the things I thought I'd miss most about the move.  Lucky for me, I can continue my practice of attending here.  Because I am a person who is always going, always doing, never quiet or still, adoration is the perfect way for me to really stop, reflect, and listen.

Blessed Is She Advent Journal.  This one, too, is thanks to Super Mom.  She is also doing this journal and recommended it on her blog.  I ordered mine and so far, two days in, I'm absolutely loving it.  It offers daily readings and reflection questions. 

Random acts of kindness.  For years now, I have made this part of my Advent celebration.  Each year, I select one person who I anonymously send a rather substantial (at least in my mind) monetary gift to brighten their Christmas.  Additionally, I make it a point to try and seek out folks to gift with smaller presents.  This includes giving money and/or food to the homeless anytime I can.

Bible.com studies.  My sweet friend, ABJ's Mama, suggested that I get the Bible.com app on my phone.  It offers different Bible Studies  that you can select from.  Most of the ones I've seen are about 7 days long.  So....I plan to complete three of them during this Advent season.  I'm starting off with "From This Day Forward" which is a study about marriage.  Good timing, huh?

Advent prayer as my lock screen.  Another friend---man, I've got good ones!--Meg, posted a beautiful advent prayer and suggested that people set that as their lock screen on their phone.  This way, every time you want to unlock your phone, you pray the prayer.  I absolutely loved this idea and the prayer....so of course, I joined in.

Living with grace.  More often than I'd like to admit, I'm impatient.  I snap at The Boy from Texas for no reason.  I am easily annoyed.  So I am trying consciously to focus on this and really focus on doing better.  When I feel annoyed or impatient or start to say something rude or to pick a fight, I'm telling myself, "Give grace."  Will it work perfectly?  Certainly not.  Will it at least be a start?  I hope so.

Weekly blog updates.  To keep me on track, I am going to share something that I learned or that really hit me each week.  Hopefully this will be inspirational to all of you during this season as well.

Do you celebrate Advent?  What are you doing this year?

Missing It

"It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching." ~St. Francis of Assisi

On the way home from our honeymoon,  we had one last flight from Dallas to Amarillo.  We missed it.

We were delayed out of Calgary, ran across the airport, and while the plane was still there the gate was closed and we could not get on. Turns out, no one gave the gate agent a heads up we were on our way.  

I was sweaty.  I had been up since 3:00 am. I just lugged two jackets, a sweater, and a trash bag full of boots (which I refused to put in the checked baggage because we would have been over the weight limit and had to pay $100 extra) across the airport.  I was tired.  I wanted to be home.  I hadn’t gotten to take a shower that morning.  I was annoyed.  And I screamed (loudly) a curse word right in the middle of that airport.

Almost immediately, I regretted my outburst.  It was no one’s fault we missed the flight.  We had nothing we were rushing to get to.  The pilots had gotten us safely out of a snow storm into Dallas.  We got re-booked on a flight that left an hour and a half later. No harm, no foul.

All I could think about was a saying I have probably heard 100 times.  “You may be the only Bible some people ever read; you may be the only Jesus some people ever see.”  Well, I sure didn’t look like anything you’d find in the Bible as I was having a fit in that airport.  I didn’t reflect Jesus with my actions or my words.  Nothing I did was kind or patient or loving.  Nothing indicated I even knew Jesus, much less am here to live my life in accordance with His purpose.  

Photo via Britt Fisk

In my selfishness, I missed it.  Not just the flight, but the chance to plant a seed that might have eventually lead someone to salvation.  And the even more concerning question…..what if this was not the first time that has happened?   I may be missing it more than I’d like to admit.  

And so now, I am making a more conscious effort to curb my selfish whining and to find a way to show others what following Jesus means.  As He does, God is giving me lots of opportunities to do so.  When I was the first person on the scene of a car accident on Sunday, I ran over to help the bloody victim, despite my complete inability to handle blood.  Jesus would have run.  When a little girl screamed literally the entire 2.5 hour flight to Washington DC, I assured her frazzled and embarrassed parents that it was okay.  Jesus would have comforted.  When I passed a beggar on the street, I looked him in the eye, gave him some money, and told him I would pray for him.  Jesus would have seen.

I've got to do better.  I could overcome missing the flight, but not missing my purpose.

And So It Was...

"And so it was that she, having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised."  ~ Hebrews 6:15

  

Closing a Chapter

“What wings are to a bird, and sails to a ship, so is prayer to the soul.”   ~Corrie ten Boom

Last Friday afternoon, my trusty mover, Ronnie, and I loaded all of my possessions into a 16' Budget truck and headed north.  It marked the closing of one chapter of my life and the beginning of another.

As I reflected (one has plenty of time to do that on a 9.5 hour drive....) on the chapter that was College Station, I came to several conclusions in addition to my list of things I will miss, which I previously posted here.

During my contemplation, I realized that I should determine a theme for each chapter in my life.  (If it was good enough for Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, why not me?)  And as I thought back on the last year and a half, it was fairly clear to me that the College Station chapter must be dubbed the chapter of answered prayers.

When I moved south, I had been on two dates with The Boy from Texas.  I was left with a long distance relationship and lots of worries and unanswered questions.  Slowly but surely--in His timing--each worry was relieved, each question was answered.  I spent hours upon hours wondering, plotting, planning, and praying about what the future would hold.  I had amazingly wonderful friends who prayed with me.  I have no doubt there was intercession from the saints whom I begged for intercession. 

There are chapters where prayers are not answered in the way that we want.  The miracle doesn't come, the situation does not change, the plan does not work.  And as hard as those times are, I do believe God ultimately uses them for His glory.  But sometimes, just sometimes, His glory is shown by answering our pleas in the exact way we prayed for.  I tend to forget that can happen, and I'm so thankful for the reminder.

The College Station chapter was, for me, one of answered prayers. 

It was fitting then, I think, to see this in the front yard the day I drove away. 

I planted this rosebush last spring.  And then I got busy and did nothing to care for it.  And then it died.  I mean, it was still green, but there hadn't been any hint of a bloom, much less a rose for 6 months. 

But on Friday morning, I awoke to a single red rose.  Immediately, I remembered praying to St. Therese, who promised to spend her time in Heaven doing good on earth and showering the world with roses.  (She's quite popular with my sweet friend Super Mom as well.....read this.) 

A beautiful red rose, a beautiful answered prayer, a perfect ending to this chapter.

Faith and Miracles, Miracles and Faith

"A cancer inexplicably cured.  A voice in a dream.  A statue that weeps.  

A miracle is an event that strengthens faith.

It is possible to look at most miracles and find a rational explanation in terms of natural cause and effect.  It is possible to look at Rembrandt's Supper at Emmaeus and find a rational explanation in terms of paint and canvas.

Faith in God is less apt to proceed from miracles than miracles from faith in God."

~Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

St. Stephen's Basilica - Vienna, Austria - 2013

Remembering a Child

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain..." ~Rev. 21:4

I sat down on Sunday to blog.  I had several ideas....recipes to share, a wedding shower to recap, photos from Blonde Oklahoma Girls' big day, random thoughts on world events....the norm.  But before I got started I stopped to check out Facebook.

There, I learned that one of the children to whom I helped grant a Make a Wish passed away.  You read about the impact his family had on me here and about his wish here.

And all of a sudden, I didn't much feel like talking about scones and bridesmaids dresses and wedding presents.

I recently read a wonderful article on suffering by my friend, Meg.  The entire article is phenomenal, but the following excerpt really hit me.

We can’t understand what God is doing any more than an infant can understand what his mother is doing–less so. We see the now, or even the 50 years from now. We see the splash. God sees the ripples. And not just the ripples on our lives but the ripples on the lives of those we love and those we hate and those we’ve never bothered to notice. God sees the ripples on eternity. God knows which miraculous cure will bring conversion and which painful death will draw hearts to him. He doesn’t give you cancer because you need to learn how to be a better person, but if he lets you suffer through it, he is working. This is the God who took the greatest evil of all time, the torture and deicide of Good Friday, and turned it into the greatest good for the human race. There is nothing he cannot turn to good.

This is what gives me hope. Not that God might work a miracle for me but that he is working miracles, daily miracles. This is providence, that for me in my comfortable life and for those suffering and abandoned, for every last person on this planet God is working miracles. He is holding them close and drawing them closer, even when they seem most alone. Because he knows what they need. This is the Christian answer to the problem of evil: God knows better than I. And he is working.

So what can I say to the mothers with empty arms, the broken victims of abuse and neglect, the refugees and hospice patients and orphans and addicts?

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what God is doing, but I know that he is doing something. I don’t know what good will come of this, but I know that good will come. I know this the way I know how to breathe or which way is down: not because I can prove or explain it but because everything in my life cries out this truth. You are loved in your suffering. God weeps with you, hanging on the Cross for you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what he’s doing. But I know who he is. He is good. He is love. He is for you. And there will come a day when all is made clear, when you’re welcomed into the embrace of the God who has been waiting for you since before there was time and you see just how all things worked for good. But until then, I will stand with you in the unknowing. Together we will hope and love and suffer. And we will trust in a God who is so much bigger than our pain.”
Miracles seem arbitrary and unfair because our vision is so short. But we worship an eternal God who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all. There is nothing he will not do for us. Ours is to trust that when we lie broken amidst the rubble of our lives, even then he is working. Even then we are protected. Even then we are loved by a Father who wills our greatest good, though it may be a long time coming. Wait in hope, my friends. My God will not disappoint.

Please keep the sweet family of my Make a Wish child in your prayers.  Peace be with them.

Just Too Much Sadness

**Tomorrow we will continue with the Advice for the Single Ladies series, but today, my heart is too heavy.**

"Where is God in all this?  Oh, he's up there.  Somewhere...shouting down that He loves us. Wondering why we can't hear him."  ~What Dreams May Come

Sometimes it feels as though there is just too much sadness in the world. Christians being beheaded in Iraq. Planes being shot out of the sky in Ukraine. Children slaughtered on a daily basis in Gaza. And now, closer to home, a beautiful teenage girl--one who reminded me so much of myself 13 years ago--has taken her own life.

Each of these senseless tragedies have made me acutely aware that we live in a fallen world.  A horrible, depressing, fallen world.  One in which answers may never come.

I do not know why. I wish the world were different. I wish people loved one another better and understood God's love for them and for others more.  I wish we lived in a place of peace and harmony and understanding.  But we do not.

Yet, we still have hope. Because this world is not the end of the story. God has promised us that. We are journeying toward paradise, where this pain and hatred do not exist.  Until then, we are left to make the fallen world a little better by our being here.

So maybe all we can do is hope faithfully and love fiercely and pray that God will use us for his glory.

Please pray for all of those suffering. And especially for the soul of sweet Clare and for all of those who loved her. May she and all the departed rest in peace.