Drawing Up a Play

Is it just me, or has the world gone off its rocker in the last month or so?  I feel like there is hatred and division everywhere.  Then throw in the massacre last weekend in Orlando and it's just all too much for me.  My mind can't wrap around what is happening and what in the world needs to be done to change it. I can't figure out how the heck I'm supposed be raising good kids in this mess.  If BB and LL were old enough to ask questions, how would I answer them?


And, fortunately, I'm not alone. I've talked to other friends who are finding themselves without answers as well.  I mean really good people who are trying hard to do their very best to follow Jesus, but feel like their heads are spinning right now about what that looks like in this current situation.  As much as I'd like it to be, I just don't think things are all black and white.

There's not a play in the book for exactly what to do here.  I need Jesus to have sat down with a dry erase clip board and some X's and O's to show me exactly where I'm supposed to be running and how to catch the dang ball on this one.

I think the best we can do is try to live justly and treat people right.  We can pray and read the Bible and go to church and love our neighbor.  We can do our very best to show people Jesus.

For me, I've decided that it looks like kindness.  I don't care whether someone is a Muslim or Christian or gay or transgender or has assault rifles in their gun safe.  I'm going to be kind.  I'm going to be respectful.  I'm going to treat them like human beings.  I will listen to those with different beliefs.  I will respect that they have the right to their beliefs, just like I have the right to mine.  I will mourn anytime ANYONE is killed.  I will ask God for mercy and healing and hope.

I'm erring on the side of kindness.  That's the play I've drawn up on my clipboard.

Because that's my best understanding about what Jesus would do.  And I may get to Heaven one day and find out that I'm going about this completely wrong.  But, as one of my very favorite prayers by Thomas Merton says, "But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you."

Lord, help us all.

The Justices and the Elephant

When Justice Scalia died this week, some of my Facebook friends made terrible comments. Words celebrating the death of another human because his politics and legal opinions were different than their own.

And then, I saw a picture of Justice Scalia and Justice Ginsberg together on the back of an elephant.  (You can see that here.)  I read an article where she called him her best buddy.  (Read that here.)  And if you know much about the US Supreme Court you know these two could not be more opposite. They rarely agreed in difficult cases. I bet they never voted for the same presidential candidate. And still, they were best friends.  They had dinners together, saw the opera together, and took family vacations with each other.  They were able to put politics aside and see the person. And that's beautiful. 

I have friends who are quite different than me.  Uber liberals. Super conservatives. Catholics and Jews and agnostics.  Some have no credit cards and others are in debt up to their eyeballs. They drive one ton pick ups, a Ford Prius, and some don't have a car at all.  They graduated from Stanford, from community college, welding school, and some barely made it though high school.  

And although they are not all like me, our backgrounds, our ideals, our goals....they are good friends. My life is better for knowing them. And I don't care if we never agree on a political issue, or if I never agree with someoene's judicial decision, they are a person and that is enough reason for me to respect them and mourn their passing. 

In my opinion, this is the biggest problem in our country today. We cannot put our politics aside and see the people. We cannot respect someone with different views. And because of this, we are missing the point. We are causing hatred and divisiveness. We are missing the chance to know great people.  

So whether someone's yard has a Hilary sign, a Cruz sign, or even (Heaven help us!) a Trump sign, we can respect them.  We can be kind to them.  We can mourn their deaths.  Heck, we can even befriend them.

Be like those two Justices on the back of the elephant.  That's that this world needs!

Being Kind...

All Lives Matter

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." ~ Galatians 3:28


*It is with a heavy heart I take a break from the wedding recap to speak words that I just feel need to be said.  We will finish the last two wedding posts this week.*

You've seen the mantras.  The hashtags.  The rallying cries.  "Black lives matter."  "Police lives matter."  

But if you ask me, we are completely missing the point--and worse--furthering the agenda of hatred and divisiveness. 

Instead, why don't we focus on the idea that ALL lives matter.  Police. Young black men.  Single mothers.  Muslims.  The dying.  The homeless.  Gun owners. Vegetarians.  Cattle ranchers.  The mentally ill.  The elderly.  The condemned.

Perhaps if we all took this approach, the tragic deaths of people like Eric Garner and Michael Brown and officers Ramos and Liu would not occur.  Maybe we could avoid hostage sieges in Australia.  We would not have news stories about deplorable "interrogation methods" used against people.  There would be no beheading of Christians on Iraq.  We would not have to read headlines about death row exonerations that came too late. 

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I think we would do well to recall that He became man to save ALL people.  That ALL people were created in the likeness and image of God.  And that it is ALL people who are part of His divine plan.

All lives matter.  Hashtag it, remember it, but most importantly, live it.

Different Paths

"Don't question the story God is writing for you and don't discount the story that he is writing for your neighbor."

One of my biggest frustrations is when people are critical of the decisions that another person makes in his or her own life.  People who married young are critical of those who waited.  Those who waited are critical of the girls who had babies at 20.  Women who decide to work outside of the home are seen as bad mothers by those who stay home with the kids; and the stay at home mom is seen as a sell out by those women with the corner office.  And from what I hear and read the whole "to breast feed or not to breast feed" is even worse.

I've seen this countless times.  I had a friend who was an attorney at a high powered law firm who was terrified to tell the firm that she and her husband were expecting their first child because she was afraid she would be looked down on for wanting to be a mother.  I've gone home to sorrowful looks and puzzled expressions when I've had to answer the "Are you married yet" question yet again with a "No, I've been busy with law school."  I've watched my friends with babies feel unworthy or inadequate or incapable because they have not raised their baby in accordance with whatever the book of the moment suggests.

I think that sometimes, maybe most of the time, the reason that we discount other people's stories is simply because we don't understand them.  Because they are different than our own.  Because the other person chose to have a different path and different priorities and different dreams.  And because these things are different, we somehow make the determination that they are less important or less worthwhile or less "right."

But in the end, is not for us to understand the path of another.  Their path is just that...theirs.  And regardless of what that path looks like, or how different that path is from our own, it is theirs to take.

In the end, every person is worth while.  Each story is important.  Every person matters.  Each life is meaningful.

I Failed Miserably

"Give me Your eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes so I can see, everything that I keep missing.  Give me Your love for humanity.  Give me Your arms or the broken-hearted, the ones that are far beyond my reach.  Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.  Give me your eyes so I can see."  ~Brandon Heath

It was a country road at 10:30 in the morning.  I was busy.  I'd already been up for about 5 hours, given a 2 hour long presentation, now it was time to hit the road for a 3.5 hour drive and then 3 hours of a bar study video.  And, of course, I ended up behind an old Lincoln town car going about 20 miles an hour under the speed limit.  I got annoyed.  I had things to do, places to be, important stuff happening here while this lady was just out for a Sunday stroll.  I rolled my eyes.  Muttered under my breath.  Felt my blood pressure increase a level or five.

Then she FINALLY put her blinker on and slowly turned left.

That's when I saw it.  The sign over the driveway into which she was turning.  The one that read "Cemetery."  And I realized that the little old lady in the Lincoln was on her way put flowers on someone's grave.  She was there to mourn and remember and honor someone...a husband or a child or a parent or a friend.

And I felt terrible.  How dare I think only about what I had to do that day.  How dare I get annoyed and impatient.  How dare I think that all of the things on my to do list mattered more.

I had no idea where she was going.  I had no idea of the burdens she was carrying.  We never know what battles someone else is facing.  We never know the losses that they are mourning or the struggles that they are overcoming or the scars that they are wearing.

But you know what?  We shouldn't need to know those things.  It should not have mattered if that little old lady was going to the cemetery or the dentist or the bar.  I should have just been kind regardless.  I should have thought less of myself regardless.  I should have loved my neighbor regardless.

But, instead, I failed miserably on that country road at 10:30 in the morning.

Next time, I'll do better.

You Don't Know...

via Pinterest

What I Would Have Missed

"We have different ways of doing things, but in the ways that really matter--our hopes and heart's desires--we are more alike than different.  We live in each other."  ~Oprah

Recently I took a good look at the people in my life and realized what a variety of friends I have managed to gather up over the years.  In so many ways, they are completely different from each other, and completely different than me.

I have a vegetarian friend; I don't believe it's a real meal unless beef is involved.  Two of the absolute sweetest, kindest people I know are Mormon.  I've got friends who are Jewish and Athiest and Agnostic and Buddist and Catholic and every other Christian denomination you can think of.  And at some point in time, I have stepped into their Churches or celebrated their holidays or sat with them at a funeral.  I have friends who are Democrat and Republican, lesbian and right wing, old fashioned and who have probably burned their bras.  Like for real burned their bras. My friends are black and white and pretty much ever other color.  They are young and old and thin and round.  They have college degrees; they have dropped out of high school.  I've got some friends who hunt animals with bows and arrows, some who have manure on the majority of their shoes, and some who have never even seen a cow in person.  I'm even friends with some OU fans for crying out loud...you want to talk about open minded!

I say all of this because I've realized that had I sought out friends whose backgrounds and beliefs were the same as mine, well, I can't even tell you what I would have missed.  It's okay to love people who are different than you.  To respect them and to be kind to them and to learn from them and to be wonderful friends with them.  We are more alike than we are different.

And what I can tell you from my own life is that these people have made it---have made me---better.  I hate to think what I would have missed were I not to have found them.

A Lot of Things on a Tuesday

First and foremost, I'm gonna need the pray-ers in the group to join me in praying for my precious friend William today as he undergoes kidney surgery this morning.  He is just one of the sweetest, most adorable children in the entire world (he's been on my blog before) and I know that his family will greatly appreciate your prayers for a safe, successful surgery and a quick recovery.

*****

Next up, I've got to share a super exciting link up hosted by my friend Pharmer Girl.  You can get more details here, but the whole idea is for you to do an act of kindness this Christmas season, blog about it, and then share it with others.  You know that I do love me some random acts of kindness and I can't wait to read about every one else's acts!  The link up will be after Christmas, so you've got about 10 days to get on this!

*****

 

I'm gonna ask you for some more prayers and maybe for a little favor.  One of my dearest friends is going to be spending Christmas in jail.  I don't want to go into details or get onto my soapbox about what a freaking disaster our criminal justice system is, but what I do want you to know is that my friend is a good person with a great heart and I love him to death.  So, if you'd say a prayer for him, that would be great. 

If you'd like to do more and would be willing to send him a little note in the mail--just a note or a Christmas card or whatever--let me know and I will get you his address.  I think that it would really help to lift his spirits if we could flood him with cards and notes from people he does not even know.

*****

If you want to watch something to put you in the holiday spirit, look no farther than right here.  Amazing.

*****

There was an interesting post written by my blog friend (except for one day out of the year when her dang Sooners play my Cowboys) Arkansassy discussing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and people's reaction to it.  I found her blog quite interesting.  Several years ago, College Roomie said something to me about being sick of people talking trash on skinny people and that really resonated with me.  We're all so busy comparing and judging that we forget to accept and support.  Some women have curves, some don't.  Some have husbands, some don't.  Some have careers outside the house, some stay home with the babies.  Some cook 5 course dinners and some spend all day on a tractor.  And none of these things are right or wrong.  As my favorite quote says, "Don't question the story that God is writing for you and don't discount the one he is writing for your neighbor." 

*****

 

Last but not least, I'm extending an invitation to everyone to join Loud Oklahoma Girl, ABJ's Mama, and me to run the Oklahoma City Half Marathon on April 27, 2014!  You might recall that LOKG and I ran it last year and loved it!  Not only is it a great course, but more importantly, it's for a great cause.  The race benefits the OKC Bombing Memorial and you run in memory of the people who were killed there in 1999.  It's some powerful stuff.  Anyway, we're getting a training plan put together and we would love to share it with anyone who wants to join in.....party in OKC!!  And pancakes after the race!  You can register here....prices go up on January 2!

 

 

 



Our Job...

Photo via Pinterest

My Biggest Regrets

"My heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love.  YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE."  ~George Saunders

Earlier this week, I read a graduation speech given to graduates by George Saunders.  You have to go and read it here.  It's long, but it's good.  Here is his point:  "What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness." 

Um....yep.  This girl.  Guilty.  Ditto.  Me too.

I do not regret the times I made mistakes.  Or the times I fell for the wrong boy.  I don't regret getting on the wrong bus in Baltimore or almost drowning in a river in Costa Rica or getting sick after rushing the field in the pouring rain.  I don't regret the year I spent at a college I really kinda hated.  I don't even regret the time I had to be on crutches for two weeks after crashing my dad's truck into the swing set.  (Okay, maybe I regret that last one a little...)

The things I look back on and really regret, you know that knot-in-your-stomach feeling regret, are the times I was unkind.  The time I made a joke at someone else's expense.  The time I avoided sitting with a certain person at a lunch table.  The time I snipped something hateful.  I think back on those moments and can still vividly remember them years later.  What the room looked like.  My unkind words.  The faces of the recipient of my words.  These memories, which are apparently permanently etched into my memory, make my heart ache.

Be kind.  It's so simple.

It costs nothing.  I don't have to buy equipment or a uniform or new shoes to do it right. 

I know how to do it.  I don't need to watch a webinar or Google the steps. 

I have chances to do it every day.  With every single person with whom I come in contact.

I have no excuse for the unkind moments I regret.  None at all.

And so like Mr. Saunders wished the graduates, my wish for you and me is that as we get older is two-fold.  That our self will diminish and be replaced by love, and that we live our lives with no more kindness failures. 

Here's to no more regrets.

I'm a Human Being

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”  ~Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness


I've written before once or twice about the way that the homeless pull at my heartstrings.  When I saw this video last week on the Aggie Catholics blog, and heard Mr. Davis say, "I'm not a bum, I'm a human being," I knew I had to share.  He describes his life--how hard it is, how humiliating it is, how it's a viscous circle that he cannot get out of.  Please watch this video.  And please listen to his words.    We are all human beings.  Every one of us.  And we deserve to be treated as such.  Regardless of what material things we have or do not have.  God bless you, Mr. Davis.

28 Acts of Kindness

"Remember, there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.  Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."  ~Scott Adams

You have probably read about the 26 acts of kindness project that people across the country are doing in memory of those who lost their lives in Newtown on December 14.  You know I'm a sucker for something like this and that I've been really touched by the situation in Newtown, so I decided to join in.

Except I wanted to do 28 acts....one for each person who died that day, including the shooter and his mother.  I know that some people disagree with this--I've read the posts on the internet about it--I don't really care.  28 people died that day, and a couple extra kind acts can only make this world a better place.

So, I bought some Christmas cards to hand out with my acts, asking people to pray for the families in Newtown and promising that I would pray for the people receiving my acts of kindness.  And, as it usually happens with this kind of thing, I think that I probably got more out of the giving than did the people doing the receiving.  It made me look around for people to help, it made me notice things I would otherwise completely overlook, and it made me take the focus off of myself.  I should probably be looking to do a random act of kindness every day.

Here's my list.

1.  Mailed a card to Fr. Luke Suarez, one of the priests at the St. Rose of Lima parish in Newtown.  He's been a priest for less than two years and is dealing with trying to help a community understand the unthinkable.  I cannot imagine what he is going through.  If you want to hear his story and/or send him a card, click here for info.

2.  Signed up for a monthly donation to the Little Flower Projects.  I fell in love with this charity back in October when another blogger hosted a virtual run to raise money.  They care for critically ill (often dying) orphans in China.  I'm friends with them on Facebook and the pictures of these kiddos just melt my heart every day.  I thought that helping other kids was a good way to honor the memory of the children from Newtown.

3.  Gave a bag of cookies to the lady who works at the parking garage booth.  She's always so nice and seemed really surprised with the gift.

4.  Bought a Wal-Mart gift card and gave it to the homeless man sitting outside the store on a corner with a sign.  When I gave it to him, he said, "God bless you."

5:  Bought coloring books and crayons and gave them to my neighbor's daughter.

6.  Gave a gift card to the little old lady in a wheelchair I saw buying Christmas decorations.  She cried.

7-11.  Put Christmas cards and candy canes on random cars parked in the parking lot at the hospital.

12.  Gave a Subway gift card to the nice man in a big coat ringing the Salvation Army bell outside of Hob Lob.

13 - 15.  Bought three Starbucks gift cards.  Gave the first one to a cute pregnant checker at the grocery store who said she was really having a stressful day.  Gave the second to the poor girl freezing her booty off gathering carts int he parking lot.  Left the third one in the church at the rail in front of the candles for someone to find while they are praying.

16-20.  Gave five of those super soft throw blankets to the nursing home and asked them to give them to patients who needed a little something extra this Christmas.

21-22.  Bought 2 Toys-R-Us gift cards and gave them to two moms I saw in the store.  The first had three little boys and a baby and looked like she had her hands full.  The second had a little girl and a young boy appeared to have cerebral palsy because he was in a special kind of seat that I know CP kids use.

23.  Donated money to the Salvation Army kettle.

24.  Bought dinner for the car behind me at Chik-fil-a.

25 - 27.  Baked brownies and stopped to give them to truckers at a truck stop (I figured this was appropriate since me and a trucker bonded two weekends ago).  Trucker's like brownies, FYI.  Trucker's wives along for the ride like them even more.

28.  Gave a Wal-Mart gift card to a guy with a backpack and a dog on the interstate on-ramp.  He said he would pray for me.  I told him I'd do the same for him.

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” ~ Rick Riordan, The Lightning Theif

Happy Wednesday!  Linking up with Jamie to share a few things that I'm loving...

1.  This blog that ND Friend sent me last week.  Talk about an amazing way to ring in a birthday.  Or even just a list of amazing things that you could do on a random Tuesday.  I love it.  Check it out.

2.  Blake and Miranda.  I missed the CMA's (I was at my birthday dinner) but caught up on them this weekend.  Did y'all see Blake and Miranda win song of the year for Over You, which they wrote together about Blake losing his brother in a car accident when he was 14?  Their acceptance speech was precious.  I just love them.

3.  This idea called Hope for the Homeless.  I got a little choked up just reading it.  You guys know that I struggle with how to respond to homelessness, and I just love this idea.  I'm going to be hitting up Target this week to make up some of these packages!  On this note, I've mentioned before that I try and pray for those for whom no one prays.  Just something to think about if you want to join in.

4.  This girl is Stillwater bound!  That's right...Friday night I'm headed to Oklahoma to meet up with Loud Oklahoma Girl to cheer on our Pokes against the Red Raiders on Saturday and to run the second leg of a marathon relay on Sunday morning.  My training has not gone well (as in I've not really done it....) so those may be a L-O-N-G five miles.  But my guess is that we'll still have a great weekend!

A sea of orange...a sight for sore eyes!

5.  These shadow boxes.  I absolutely love them and want to make a bunch from my travels....Costa Rica, Rome, Switzerland, Mexico, San Francisco, New York City, Washington DC, Chicago, Notre Dame....I could have a whole wall full!  I can't figure out how to make the letters though.  Anyone craftier than me want to help?

6.  Back in the Day by Brantley Gilbert.  Check it out.

7.  This blog that collects 13 lessons we learned from Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World.  Man, I loved that show.  Seriously, I don't think I ever missed an episode.  I am beyond excited about the rumor that a sequel--with Corey and Topanga all grown up--is in the works!

8.  Uno Semana.  One week until Cousin Swiss Mister arrives and we head back to the ranch for Thanksgiving.  It's going to be epic!

Me and CSM at a water fall in Costa Rica

I Think I'll Be A Tow Truck Driver

"Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music." ~William Stafford

My friend has the cutest three year old son you'll ever meet.  Big ol' blue eyes and blonde hair and the cutest little grin.  Yesterday, she told me a story about this little one that really made me think.

One morning before school, the three year old and his five year old brother were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.  The three year old said, "I want to help people."  His brother replied, "Brother, that's great!  You can be a doctor."  The three year old said, simply, "No, I think I'll be a tow truck driver."

To the three year old, it was simple.  He wanted to help people.  Sometimes, people's cars break down and they need a tow.  Being a tow truck driver helps people.  That's what he'd do.

The innocent view of the world from the eyes of a child is something to which our adult eyes have grown blind.  We are consumed with power and prestige and money and reputations.  Often, even when we say we want to "help people" we are really trying to help our own pocket books.

But what if we lived our adult lives with three year old eyes?  What if we set out each day thinking, "I want to help people" and then just did that.  Even if it meant unglamorous, but helpful things like driving tow trucks?  What if we just started small...we opened doors, we let someone get in during rush hour traffic, we helped the woman carrying the groceries to her car, we bought food for the homeless man on the corner?  My guess is that if we did these small things, we'd move right on to doing bigger things.

Even if my little friend doesn't become a tow truck driver, I hope that he keeps his three year old eyes and goal of helping people.  And I hope that I can take this glimpse through his eyes and apply his logic to my own life.  Because think of what a great place the world would be if we all set out each day to be a tow truck driver...

Getting Used To It

"If having money keeps people walking along the sidewalk with their heads turned away from their fellow man, clinging to control of their lives and their wealth, than I would rather be penniless on the streets my entire life." ~Carmen

Last week, ND Friend wrote what may be the most touching blog post I have ever read. She went to downtown Chicago to interact with the less fortunate in order to write on one of the practices of Lent, almsgiving. In doing so, she met Carmen, who uttered the quote above. What was the most strinking thing about this quote was that the person of whom Carmen speaks was me. I became that person one day back in 2008.

You won't be surprised to learn that we didn't have homeless people in Logan, New Mexico. So when I moved to San Francisco, that was something completely new and different to me. It was a side of San Francisco I did not expect or understand. One so different from my own experience there.

When I first arrived, I remember thinking I would never get used to seeing homelessness. By the end of the summer, I knew I would never forget feeling the day I realized that I had done just that...gotten used to it.

At the beginning of the summer, I spoke to every person on the street who spoke to me. If I had change, I gave it to them. If I did not, I apologized. But I spoke. I saw them. I interacted with them. Acknolwedged that they were here. On the same earth as me, people like me, possessing a voice and a soul like me.

I am not sure when that changed. Maybe after realizing that no one else who I ever walked with did the same. Maybe after getting into a routine and finding myself busy with legal memos and Starbuck's runs, and weekend boat cruises. Maybe when I realized I couldn't carry enough change for everyone I encountered. Maybe I became lazy. Maybe because I questioned their motives.

Regardless of the reason, it happened. One day in July, I walked by an African-American woman sitting on the street corner at New Montgomery and Market with a cup and a sign asking for help. She asked if I could spare some change. And I ignored her. I did not look her direction, did not speak back. I walked on, as if she did not exist. As if she and I were different. As though I were better or she were unimportant. Or worse, non-existent.A few minutes later, when I got into the elevator of the 26 story building to go to my fancy office, wearing my new suit, thinking about where would have our expensive lunch, I realized what I had done. That I had gotten used to it. And that it was not okay.

Who was I to dismiss another human being? Who was I to walk by without acknowleding someone's existence? When I left the office that day, I walked back by the street corner. She was gone. As was my opportunity to apologize. To redeem myself. To prove that I was not used to it, and that I never would be again.

I've wondered since that day what happened to the woman from the corner. I wish that I could find her, listen to her speak, look her in the eye, tell her how sorry I am, and thank her for teaching me such a lesson.

Does she remember me walking by as though she did not exist? Sadly, she probably did not....because for her, it was probably a common occurrance. She probably watched hundreds of people a day walk by and act as though she did not exist. I could have changed that for her. I could have made a small difference for her, at basically no cost to myself. And I didn't. I walked right on by.

Society...people...I...failed her. That is something that I will never forget. Something I will forever regret. And because of it, homeless is something I will never get used to again.

I Believe in Tim Tebow

"I've come to believe in Tim Tebow for what he does off a football field, which is represent the best parts of us, the parts I want to be and so rarely am." ~ Rick Reilly

I realize this Tim Tebow character is becoming a frequent topic of my blog.

Does anyone know him? Have any sort of connection? Big, strong, football playing, Christian guy with blue eyes and a big heart.....I'm just saying, I think there could be a strong chance that he's Mr. Right. You know, supposing he's not actually dating Lindsay Vonn as the National Enquirer wants me to belive. (Please, say it ain't so!)

Anyhow, last week I stumbled on this article talking about believing in Tim Tebow. My favorite line was: "I've come to believe in Tim Tebow for what he does off a football field, which is represent the best parts of us, the parts I want to be and so rarely am."

Listen, I don't care whatsoever about your thoughts on Tim Tebow as a football player (shocking to hear me say I don't care about football, I know). I don't really care about your thoughts on how he choses to profess his faith. But I do care about the fact that he is a good person. He's using his fame and fortune to help others. He makes a difference in people's lives. That's something everyone should be able to appreciate.

And if you ask me, if you do that, I don't care how well you can throw a football. (Sidenote because you know I can't totally leave football out....clearly he throws one pretty dang well since he's won two national championships, a Heisman and made the playoffs with the Broncos).

And I love that he is the same whether it is after his biggest win or his biggest loss. What does he do? He goes and makes a difference in someone's life. He doesn't have to do this. He could go get live it up in some nightclub in Denver. He could go drive around in some fancy car with a bunch of cheerleaders. He could go read all about hismelf in the paper. None of thee things would be wrong for him to do.

Instead, he spends time making a difference. He puts someone else first. That's something I think we could all do a lot more of. Do I believe in Tim Tebow on the field? I do. Does he sometimes fail? Yes....you saw that on Saturday. But I believe in him even more off the field....where it matters.

Family Farm Friday #57: Keys

"The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines." ~Charles Kuralt

My parents' neighbor, David, lost his house to a fire last week. We are pretty much fired out around our neighborhood, let me just tell you guys. If you remember after the last fire, I wrote this blog about neighbors coming together.
Well, it happened again. My dad told this story and it just really touched my heart.

After the fire was out, David was standing on the rubble and ash that was his house and all of his belongings looking to see if there was anything he could salvage. Picturing this scene just makes me sick to my stomach.

Then up walked the daughter of another neighbor. She stuck her hand through what was left of the wall in the front of the house. In her hand was the keys to her dad's house that is right down the road. Her dad's house is empty now, as he is living in a nursing home. She gave those keys to David and said, "Here are the keys to Daddy's house. You stay there as long as you need to."

My Dad said it best when he said, "Though I have seen so many acts of kindness in this neighborhood for years, I will never forget what she showed us all today."

People knock on small towns. My "city" friends kid that we just got running water and ask what it was like for me to have indoor plumbing when I moved to my current house. We don't have fancy restaurants. We don't have concerts during the summer. You can't run to the mall on a Saturday afternoon.

But what we have is a community of people who truly love each other and who would give the shirt off their backs (of the keys to their houses) when someone needs help. If you ask me, that's the way it should be. What we do have is worth so much more than what we lack.

By the way, there is a fire fund set up for donations for David (who is one of our volunteer firefighters and who literally lost everything he had) at our hometown bank.

If anyone would like to donate, you can send a check to: David Peacock Fund, Citizen's Bank, 211 E. Main, Tucumcari, NM 88401. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

(If you have any questions about that, shoot me an email at tiffy83@hotmail.com or leave me a comment below.)

Family Farm Friday #51: That's Being a Neighbor

"I won't forget that Sunday, when God filled the neighborhood. It might have been a little old fashioned, but done us all some good." ~Conway Twitty, Me and My Neighbor

First off, I have to tell you that I'm super excited because my Family Farm Friday blogs have been featured on a list of examples of good "agvocacy" blogs! So exciting....and because I read most of the other blogs on that list, I'm super flattered to be included with such great bloggers!

Okay for today's post, this really will be the last post about the grass fire that you've read about here and here.

At church last week, the priest said that God does not do evil things, but that He will use the evil things that we do in order to further his perfect plan. Have you noticed that sometimes, actually I think a lot of times, we are reminded how good people are when bad things happen? People come out of the woodwork and show kindness and concern and compassion. This made me look back on the last couple of weeks. Our neighbors and surrounding communities did just that after the fire.

Once word spread about the fire, it was like an AT&T switchboard at our house. We got so many phone calls from friends just making sure we were okay. We got calls from the local feedlot saying that if we needed a place to put cattle, we could bring them over and they would not charge us any board, and that we could just pay cost for feed. We got a call from a local businessman who offered to bring out his crew to help repair any fences that needed to be fixed right away. A waitress at the hometown restaurant offered to help anyone with a place to stay if houses did end up being lost. One man showed up at our house to apologize that he was not able to respond to the fire when the department was paged.

(The photo above is of our fire deparment a LONG time ago--40 years or so? Even today I could tell you stories about just about every one of these men and of what they've meant to my family over the years.)

I'm here to tell you, I don't think that any community does a better job of pulling together after a crisis than small town America. I think that one of the biggest reasons for this is that we all know each other, and we have known each other for years. We know everything about each other---we remember when good things happened and everyone celebrated, and we remember when tragedy has struck and everyone showed up to mourn (and bring a pie and an enchillada casserole...because that's what you do). You've read a little about this before. When you grow up going through things with other people in that way, it's not something you forget. Chalk up another one to small town life.

Give The Kid a 42

"Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am surer of what is kind than I am of what is true." ~Robert Brault

Last weekend, I went back to my law school to judge the first year advocacy tournament. As a first year, you have to write an appellate brief (which means like to the U.S. Court of Appeals) and then argue it against one of your classmates. My aunt found out about this, and asked me if I was empathetic to them, or if I was a hard a**.

This got me thinking back on my life, and made me realize that I have never been able to be a hard a** in these situations, and I think it all started when I was 10 years old.

When I was 10, my dad made me judge livestock at the county 4-H contest. I know this may be hard for everyone to believe, but at that time, I was pretty shy. I had no desire to go to judge this contest, and even less desire to give reasons. (Reasons, for those of you non-ag people who might not know, are where you have to give what is basically a speech explaining to the judges why you decided to place the livestock in the order that you did, from best to worst.) But, my dad didn't care about any of that and off I went.

I had to give two sets of reasons as I recall (although there may have been a third that I blocked out): heifers and market lambs. Mind you---I had never done this before. I'd grown up around livestock my whole life, so I wasn't a total fish out of water, but as far as how to give reasons or what terms to use or really knowing why I liked heifer #1 instead of heifer #2.....forget it.

There was an intern at the 4-H office that summer who took my heifer reasons. She gave me some terrible score like maybe a 18 or something. (Mind you...you're scored out of 50 and in later years I would have been really upset if I got below about a 43 or so). I'm not saying I didn't deserve it--I'm sure I did. But seeing that number on paper was pretty devastating for me.

The sheep reasons were a different story. I gave those to a guy who was from our county and had just graduated high school with a judging scholarship to college. He had been in my 4-H club, so I knew who he was, and I knew he was good at this thing. I fumbled through that set of reasons and probably deserved another 18. But that guy didn't give me a 28. Instead, he gave me a 42.

I will never forget getting back into the truck with my dad looking at scores and seeing that I had gotten a 42 on a set of reasons from someone who actually knew what they were doing. A 42! Did he have to give me a good score? No. Did he need to do something to encourage a little blonde headed 10 year old who he didn't really know? No. But he did. And I never forgot it.

I thought about that day and that guy and that reasons score so many days after that.....when my team won the State FFA Livestock Judging Contest.......when I won reasons at the National FFA Dairy Contest.......when I got my livestock judging scholarship to college.....when I was in the top 10 at three college contests.....when I got an "A" in my oral advocacy class in law school.

It all started with a 42 from a nice guy who decided to try to encourage a little blonde headed 10 year old. He tried, and he was successful.

Not only did he encourage me to keep judging, he taught me that if I was ever in a similar position, I would go out of my way to encourage the kids (or law students) who were standing in the shoes I once stood in. Funny to think that that one 42 given to me 17 years ago might have made a difference in the lives of other people who have never set foot at a livestock judging contest and who will never meet that guy.

The way we treat people matters. We have the power to encourage dreams, or to kill them. When you are in a position like this, give the kid a 42. You never know what that might start or where it might lead!