Earlier this week, I read a graduation speech given to graduates by George Saunders. You have to go and read it here. It's long, but it's good. Here is his point: "What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness."
Um....yep. This girl. Guilty. Ditto. Me too.
I do not regret the times I made mistakes. Or the times I fell for the wrong boy. I don't regret getting on the wrong bus in Baltimore or almost drowning in a river in Costa Rica or getting sick after rushing the field in the pouring rain. I don't regret the year I spent at a college I really kinda hated. I don't even regret the time I had to be on crutches for two weeks after crashing my dad's truck into the swing set. (Okay, maybe I regret that last one a little...)
The things I look back on and really regret, you know that knot-in-your-stomach feeling regret, are the times I was unkind. The time I made a joke at someone else's expense. The time I avoided sitting with a certain person at a lunch table. The time I snipped something hateful. I think back on those moments and can still vividly remember them years later. What the room looked like. My unkind words. The faces of the recipient of my words. These memories, which are apparently permanently etched into my memory, make my heart ache.
Be kind. It's so simple.
It costs nothing. I don't have to buy equipment or a uniform or new shoes to do it right.
I know how to do it. I don't need to watch a webinar or Google the steps.
I have chances to do it every day. With every single person with whom I come in contact.
I have no excuse for the unkind moments I regret. None at all.
And so like Mr. Saunders wished the graduates, my wish for you and me is that as we get older is two-fold. That our self will diminish and be replaced by love, and that we live our lives with no more kindness failures.
Here's to no more regrets.
8 comments:
LOVE LOVE LOVE this! Great post today!
~LOKG
So - so - so TRUE! When I'm being good, I try to focus on each individual interaction I have with a person. Nothing is neutral - every decision is either positive or negative. If I try to make every interaction as positive as possible, that's a good day.
-College Roomie
Your parents taught you well . . . You are not alone in the context of this blog either. Well written, Tiff!
I love this.
Awesome end-of-week message. Love it.
Ugh, I needed this today...I had an unkind moment yesterday. I'm kicking myself in the butt for it today, and trying to figure out how I can make up for it. It's so easy to be kind, and I always get so mad at myself when I look back and realize that I probably hurt someone's feelings. Such a hard thing to deal with. Thanks for keeping me in check :)
Wow, this is really touching. It makes me think of the movie The Lady in the Water, when the mermaid tells the man that she isn't sure if she's meant to be the queen mermaid because she's clumsy and the other mermaids make fun of her. He asks her "Do you get sick every time that you break a rule? Every time that you tell someone something you shouldn't?" The message being, I think, that everyone makes mistakes and says things they shouldn't - but only the good people feel bad about them.
such a good post. I've never thought about that being a regret but it's so true - those are the real stomach-churning regrets. loved this!
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