Give The Kid a 42

"Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am surer of what is kind than I am of what is true." ~Robert Brault

Last weekend, I went back to my law school to judge the first year advocacy tournament. As a first year, you have to write an appellate brief (which means like to the U.S. Court of Appeals) and then argue it against one of your classmates. My aunt found out about this, and asked me if I was empathetic to them, or if I was a hard a**.

This got me thinking back on my life, and made me realize that I have never been able to be a hard a** in these situations, and I think it all started when I was 10 years old.

When I was 10, my dad made me judge livestock at the county 4-H contest. I know this may be hard for everyone to believe, but at that time, I was pretty shy. I had no desire to go to judge this contest, and even less desire to give reasons. (Reasons, for those of you non-ag people who might not know, are where you have to give what is basically a speech explaining to the judges why you decided to place the livestock in the order that you did, from best to worst.) But, my dad didn't care about any of that and off I went.

I had to give two sets of reasons as I recall (although there may have been a third that I blocked out): heifers and market lambs. Mind you---I had never done this before. I'd grown up around livestock my whole life, so I wasn't a total fish out of water, but as far as how to give reasons or what terms to use or really knowing why I liked heifer #1 instead of heifer #2.....forget it.

There was an intern at the 4-H office that summer who took my heifer reasons. She gave me some terrible score like maybe a 18 or something. (Mind you...you're scored out of 50 and in later years I would have been really upset if I got below about a 43 or so). I'm not saying I didn't deserve it--I'm sure I did. But seeing that number on paper was pretty devastating for me.

The sheep reasons were a different story. I gave those to a guy who was from our county and had just graduated high school with a judging scholarship to college. He had been in my 4-H club, so I knew who he was, and I knew he was good at this thing. I fumbled through that set of reasons and probably deserved another 18. But that guy didn't give me a 28. Instead, he gave me a 42.

I will never forget getting back into the truck with my dad looking at scores and seeing that I had gotten a 42 on a set of reasons from someone who actually knew what they were doing. A 42! Did he have to give me a good score? No. Did he need to do something to encourage a little blonde headed 10 year old who he didn't really know? No. But he did. And I never forgot it.

I thought about that day and that guy and that reasons score so many days after that.....when my team won the State FFA Livestock Judging Contest.......when I won reasons at the National FFA Dairy Contest.......when I got my livestock judging scholarship to college.....when I was in the top 10 at three college contests.....when I got an "A" in my oral advocacy class in law school.

It all started with a 42 from a nice guy who decided to try to encourage a little blonde headed 10 year old. He tried, and he was successful.

Not only did he encourage me to keep judging, he taught me that if I was ever in a similar position, I would go out of my way to encourage the kids (or law students) who were standing in the shoes I once stood in. Funny to think that that one 42 given to me 17 years ago might have made a difference in the lives of other people who have never set foot at a livestock judging contest and who will never meet that guy.

The way we treat people matters. We have the power to encourage dreams, or to kill them. When you are in a position like this, give the kid a 42. You never know what that might start or where it might lead!