Thursday, August 5, 2010

Throwback Thursday #28: Ag College Compliments

"Wouldn't give a nickle to have it paved in gold...everything I love is at the end of a dirt road!" ~Josh Abbott Band, End of a Dirt Road

In case you have missed this about me, I love OSU. I also love the ag college. And I love ag college boys. (Well, I should clarify....since I'm getting old now, I should say I love ag college alums!) :) These boys know how to treat a lady right. They have manners, they wear cowboy hats and button up shirts, they drive trucks, they talk about cattle....sigh. And most of them love Jesus, their mama and OSU football!

They are a little different breed. Some girls may not appreciate this. For example, they always track manure into the house, they keep Purple Circle magazines and bull semen catalogues in the bathroom, sometimes their idea of a date involves going to a livestock auction and eating pie at the sale barn.....country girls dream about this stuff, but to other girls, I realize it might be a bit strange!

And....for the point of this blog.....they can give you pretty strange compliments and use pretty wierd pick up lines. Here are my two favorite examples.

BFF and I went to college together at Oklahoma State. I've known him since I was 9 years old and he's hands down one of my favorite people in the entire world. One night, we had been studying and were going out to the Penny. On the way, BFF looks over at me and says, "Tiff, if you were a cow, I'd flush you!" My heart melted. Ag college girls understand...the rest of you probably have no clue what he's talking about.

See, when you flush a cow, you basically take a bunch of her eggs, and she's called the donor cow. Then you fertalize the eggs and implant them into the uterus of other cows, called recips. The point of all this is to get a bunch of calves out of your best cow in a year by having other cows carry her babies---like surrogacy--instead of just getting the one calf per year from her. So, when BFF said he'd flush me (or you might remember him saying his word for me was "donor"), he was saying I was the best cow! And that's what best friends are for.

(Now....I'm no dummy....I figure he was probably trying this line out on me before he used it to pick up some girl. I've never asked BFF's GF, but I wouldn't be shocked if she was told this as well! And she deserves to hear it!)

And for my second example, we'll use one of the Animal House Boys, Pig Farmer. You've read his wife's great blog comment before. College Roomie and I went out one night with the Animal House Boys to College Days, which is a great outdoor concert at the Tumbleweed in Stillwater--similar to Calf Fry, but in the Spring and not as big. So there we are, dancing and listening to music and drinking some WAY over-priced beer. College Roomie and I were sitting on the grass when Pig Farmer walks up. He looks at us, winks and says, "You two girls, you're class winners!" And the heart melts again.

I'll explain this one to my non-ag college friends as well. See, when you judge livestock (it's a competetion that you can compete in from the time you're like 6 years old in 4-H until you're a senior in college) you have four animals in a class. Then, as the judger, you place them from first to last. So, for an example, if you had 4 steers....you want to find the one that is the best market (i.e. to be slaughtered for meat) animal. To make this as easy as possible, you put the heavy muscled fat one first, and the light muscled skinny one last. So the best steer is the class winner. When Pig Farmer called us class winners, he was saying that we were the best girls.

(Similar note---Pig Farmer is a sweet talking Texan who married a girl that is beyond fabulous--so he best have used this line on her because as far as a match for him, Pig Farmer's Wife isn't just a class winner, she's a Grand Champion!)

So there's a little flashback on some great ag college moments. You ag college boys that might be reading might want to keep these in your back pocket and try them out.

You ag college girls looking for guys to say these things.....I'm right there with you....we'll keep waiting for someone to call us donor cows and heavy muscled steers together!

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