At the beginning of Eat Pray Love (page 27), Ketut, the medicine man from Bali, gives Elizabeth the drawing of a prophesy for her life. It is of a being that has no head. Instead, the eyes are located in the chest area. The reason for this, he explained is, "you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart instead."
This completely contradicts another quote that I read a while back. That quote is, "If any part of your uncertainty, is a conflict between your heart and your mind - follow your mind."
Now.....my question for today is....which one is it? Should a girl follow her heart or her head?
I've realized in the last week or so, that this comes up more often than a person thinks. Apparently it's not just in movies! People in real life (not me...so don't start emailing me and quizzing me about this) sometimes have to pick between the guy who is right in their head and the guy who is right in their heart. People in real life sometimes have to pick between the job their head says to take and the job their heart says to take. The list goes on and on. At some point, I venture to say that all of us have to make a decision between following our heads and our hearts at least once in our lives. How do we choose?
In the fairytale/romantic comedy world, the girl almost always goes with her heart. (Reese Witherspoon always chooses Jake instead of Andrew in Sweet Home Alabama.) But sometimes the people in movies do the wrong thing in my book. (You may remember a prior mention of my refusal to accept the ending of My Best Friend's wedding.)
I think that we like the romantic notion that we find in following our hearts. But in real life, is this as good of an idea? Sometimes, should the more practical voice win out sometimes? Maybe this is one of those questions that you can't answer until you're in the situation. Maybe the answer depends on the situation you are in. Maybe there is no answer.
As shocking as this is, I don't know my opinion on the subject. As cute as Ketut is in the movie, he hasn't sold me on the "follow your heart" theme. I have no answer to all the sentences above that begin with question marks. But I'm interested to know what everyone thinks on this issue.
Should we follow our head, or our heart?
(photo courtesy blogz.org)
9 comments:
So, I have this story of a girl who was going to law school... she had her choice of schools (literally, it was crazy the amount of yes replies she got!). She narrowed it down to one... but it didn't feel right. Instead, she chose the school that "felt" right... I'd say she followed her heart there! Same girl... 3 (?) years later had two amazing job offers. Most people in her shoes would have went one way, but she chose the one that "felt" right for her and the one she knew was what she was meant to do, regardless of what anyone said. I'd say she followed her heart there too. Funny that this same girl isn't sold on this idea yet! :)
Some people say you will have the "gut instinct" but i feel you will not have to choose either one (heart or head) you will just know. Your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another and then you get lost. Sometimes we over think things through way to much. You will know when it is right with YOU.
1. Love Krisin's example. :)
2. I was speaking to someone recently who said that there has to be some kind of mathematical formula for determining whether one should follow their head or their heart. There is criteria for each that would be ranked and weighted and the solution is what you should follow. I think it's pretty safe to say that the person who was telling me this, will 9 times out of 10 go with what their head is telling them (regardless of what a mathematical equation tells them). This same person asked the question: what changes over time - facts or feelings? Feelings. The logical side should not be overlooked because it is more likely to be the constant in a situation.
3. It's important to remember that the heart is typically caught up in the moment. It's the here and now. Being caught up in the heart of the moment (haha) can be dangerous. There has to be a balance between your heart and your head. Maybe we should think with our larynx. :)
--Amy
I agree with Kristen. Tiff,you definitely choose with your heart. I think you think you choose with your head(because you are so smart and analyitcal) but you most definitely choose with your heart.
I also agree with Amy maybe if we choose from our larynx everything would just be more simple, we wouldn't have the constant struggle of whether we did what we thought was the right thing to to or if we went with how we felt at the moment.
oops...that was me, Lyndse that posted that.
Man....I need to ask ya'll questions more often! I LOVE all the blog comments! :) And, I've blogged about this before, but I'm amazed again at how my friends see me different than I see myself. Lyndse's right---I thought I was someone who thought with my head. But Kristin has convinced me that I am a heart thinker instead! Who knew?? (Apparently everyone but me!) I find it most ironic that Amy's comment is so "head thinker" because if you know the two of us, you'd think it would have to be exactly the opposite! Oh, and BTW, I don't feel that I'm well acquainted enough with my larynx to let it make decisions. What if it's dumb?
I feel sometimes like our minds are connected - we seem to explore the same questions regularly!
Up until recently, I always believed that the head was the right voice to listen to. I mean, it could think! Why on earth would you consider following the heart on difficult decisions when it is purely intuition?
But, I think now that our heads may not always be armed with the right information or enough information. Our brains only know what they have learned - whether what we learned was correct or not.
Our hearts on the other hand, have an unbiased opinion. No skewed information to influence decisions. Our hearts are wise in ways our brains are not.
How often do people regret decision that they made on instinct vs. logic?
Can I be difficult and say both have their place? I believe most of the time I follow my heart. However, my mind like many of yours, travels at lightning speed and is always offering thoughts and its opinion. Although I appreciate my mind - I feel it often contributes to acting or reacting too quickly! My heart keeps me grounded and is also the dreamer.
Laura--great points! Maybe as we grow up and have more life under our belts, we learn to trust our hearts more?
Robyn--I think probably the both having their place thing is right. I am a firm believer that in just about everything in life, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
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