It's Not Okay: My Thoughts on the Duggar Situation

"There are far too many silent sufferers.  Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares.”  ~Richelle Goodrich

I'm so over the news right now.  I find myself annoyed at what is covered, how people react, how the anchors think people should react based on what church pew they do or do not sit in on Sundays.  It's just maddening to me.  And I usually try to stay out of hot button type issues.

 But after hearing some of the statements made by the Duggars regarding the admitted sexual abuse (not alleged abuse) of their daughters by their son (not their accused son, the son who admittedly repeatedly abused young girls), I felt compelled to speak.

I was never sexually abused, thanks be to God.  But I had several friends who were.  Friends who suffered varying types and degrees of this type of awful abuse.  I had friends who pressed charges, only to see justice denied.  Friends who never uttered a word.  Friends who struggled with who to tell and when to tell and what to do.  Then, in law school, I interned at the Crimes Against Children unit at the District Attorney's Office.  I heard and saw things that no one should ever hear and see.  I watched children struggle to find the courage to stand up to their abusers.  I watched them feel guilty or judged or like they were somehow at fault or over reacting.

These experiences will not let me tolerate the Duggars' downplay the seriousness of sexual abuse.  "It's not like he raped them or anything like that" and "He only inappropriately touched them over their clothes, and sometimes under their clothes, for a few seconds."  "He is not a pedophile, he was only 14."  "He was really sorry and cried every time he told us about what he had done."  "He was just a little too curious about girls."  Comments like these made by the family make my blood boil.

Sexual abuse is sexual abuse, period.  One does not have to be raped to be a victim of this type of abuse.  And there is no 5 second rule that applies to make sexual abuse okay like applies to dropping a piece of candy on the floor.  It is not okay to sugarcoat or overlook or spin what this person admittedly did.  It is not okay to make his victims, or any other victims of abuse, feel like their abuse was not bad enough to be relevant.

Sexual abuse is never okay, and we should not pretend like it is.  We should not downplay its seriousness.  We should not take away the pain, shame, and struggles that victims face.  It is not okay, and I for one refuse to sit quietly by and watch this happen.

I pray for all victims of sexual abuse, may they find peace and healing.  And may we all support them in that endeavor.