Meet the Cast Monday #45: Mrs. Hepburn

Mrs. Hepburn was my first boss when she hired me to tutor/babysit/chauffeur her kiddos when they were little.  To this day, that was my best job and she was my best boss.  No question!  We did a little school, we did a lot of swimming, ate a lot of ice cream....and I got paid.  It was glorious.  She got her blog name because she is frequently dressed in black with pearls that reminds me of Audrey Hepburn.  She is hands down one of the most fun, most kind, most amazing people that I know.  She constantly inspires me.  And yesterday was her birthday, so everyone tell her Happy Birthday today!

Meet Mrs. Hepburn!

What was your favorite part of the trip to Notre Dame?
Having you show us around!  The rich Catholic culture of Notre Dame was absolutely overwhelming . . . standing under the Golden Dome with Our Lady on top while the bagpipes played and everything about the football game were amazing!  However, since we were hoping my daughter would like to go there, my highlight was the moment that crystallized in the cold dawn light after we prayed at the grotto.  As we began our “5K for The Little Flowers” (in support of Reece’s Rainbow for orphans) around the lake, all was still and quiet.  {We were the only people at the lake and the Grotto--it really was amazing.}  We paused and looked back because my daughter had fallen behind. The trees framed her walking serenely along the path by the water.  She was contemplating the wonder of it all; looking happy and at home – mission accomplished! She’d love to go there.   {Convincing her she needed to go there was totally my goal....I'm dying to have a friend at Notre Dame to go visit!}

What is your favorite memory of me babysitting the kids?

Watching you become absorbed in reading Pope John Paul II’s autobiography in helping my son complete a book report on it.  You became so inspired and animated talking about it and in contrast he just wanted to know what to write to get the report done.  {I credit her completely with my love of JPII!  So glad that I had to write that book report!)  The other was watching my daughter imitate you - your mannerisms and enthusiastic way of talking about things you’re excited about.  While it was so cute when she was little, when she does it now, I realize what a strong impression you made upon her – invaluable, thank you.      {I am pretty sure this is a compliment that I do not deserve, Baby Hepburn is the most adorable kid in the whole world, I really think I have learned more from her!}

What is something you constantly pray for?

I pray for God’s grace and His will be done.  I pray for my family, future family members, friends, those who have died and our leaders.  Specifically, I pray in adoration, thanksgiving and ask for forgiveness.  My petitions include praying for those on my list (I keep a list of people and their needs because I don’t want to forget anyone).  For myself I pray for abandonment to follow His will completely, for Him to use me as He pleases, to help me be Christ like, to give me a pure heart, for faith, hope and love.  Lastly, I try to be quiet and contemplate Him, to listen. {I'm horrible at the being quiet and listening part....I really need to work on that!}

Mrs. Hepburn, Dr. Kyra, and me in Vegas

What is the best advice you have ever received?

In high school your Mom and Grandmother were my husband and my English teachers; they got us together.  During our senior year of college I was getting cold feet and thought I ought to make sure he was “the one” by dating other guys.  (Faulty logic, but at 21 it made perfect sense to me.)  Your Mother gave me the best advice that determined the course of my entire life:  ‘If you love him and you are certain he loves you, do not let that go.  You know that he is a very good person and they are rare.  You may not ever find that again.’  She was so right!  I tell my children all the time, be very careful in choosing your spouse, it determines your happiness for the rest of your life.  I am a lucky woman; he is the love of my life, a wonderful husband and father.  Love is more than an emotion, it is a decision, and it is a person – the Triune God, whose love is expressed in marriage.  True love is sacrificial.  When we love someone we try to help them on their journey home - to heaven.   {Good job to my mom and Nannie!  It's funny now because Mrs. Hepburn periodically gives me relationship advice. That's full circle._

You had a season of waiting while trying to have children, what did God teach you during that time?

It was nearly a decade . . . After years of praying in earnest, someone told me that I hadn’t prayed hard enough yet.  That I needed to pray until I no longer cared what God’s answer would be.  I learned that I needed to surrender my will and seek the will of God.  God always answers prayers; sometimes the answer is ‘yes but not now’ or not in the way that I hoped.  What He has in store for us is so much more than what we ask for.  We need to be open to what it is that He desires to bless us with.  {I absolutely love the preceding sentence.}  In His time we were blessed more abundantly than we ever imagined with three great children, a deep faith and appreciation born of suffering and waiting.  If we hadn’t had a period of infertility we wouldn’t have our second son who joined us through adoption.  That was a profound experience.  He is so different from the rest of us teaching us to look at the world a whole new way, bringing us so much joy.  All is well.  He is in control.  He will work all things for good.       

If you could give your 30 year old self a piece of advice, what would that be?

Use a midwife (I had just had a c-section); if you really want to have an unmedicated natural birth you need to go to someone who does them and is able to support you through it.  I wish I had read child psychologist Dr. John Rosemond before I lost 2 years of sleep!  His books are time tested giving solid advice for parents on how to raise ‘responsible, independent children who entertain themselves’.  Say ‘no’ more often to your children; it is not your job to keep them happy but to train and teach them the way to go.  You are their first and most influential teacher.  Relax, being happy is more important than having a clean house.  {Yes....being happy over cleaning.  I love that!}  Your children’s worst day at home with you is better than the best day anywhere else.  Put your marriage before your children, they’ll benefit from it.  Choose the high road:  read, research and learn about:  natural family planning (it’s 99% effective and prevents divorce 98%), natural childbirth and breastfeeding (besides being healthier it causes a tremendous bond), homeschooling, healthy cooking, exercise . . .  They’re countercultural because no one makes a profit by selling them so you’ll only learn about them by taking the initiative and becoming informed for yourself.  Read ‘Born to Run’ and get a pair of minimalist, midstrike shoes – they’ll save your knees.  (Now at 55 with Tiffany’s inspiration I’ve returned to running and in them I can.)  Be there for your family and friends.  Most importantly, make your spiritual life your priority - the love, comfort and direction He blesses you with will get you through anything.  God is love and love defines us.

Mrs. Hepburn and Baby Hepburn running together.

Tell us what it was like to attend the Emmy Awards?

It was exciting seeing movie stars on the red carpet, being in Hollywood     . . . but so superficial.  We waited over two hours to get in and then were escorted through an underground parking garage in heels and formals around the theatre to go in a side entrance.  The Awards program itself was long and often boring. During frequent commercial breaks it was chaos, the stars left and people replaced them so the seats weren’t empty.  Those sitting were texting.  When the cameras would come back on, everyone would become animated and shine again, very much all for show, literally.  Afterwards we were at a party with a half dozen stars, including Rob Lowe and Helen Hunt.  We heard some of them got as much as $10,000 for a couple of hours of being there.  People lined up to have their pictures taken with them.  There were complimentary slippers (little cloth ones rolled up in a can) at the party so women could take off their shoes to dance.  While it was a great experience, we had a lot more fun at your brother’s wedding!  There’s nothing like being with friends!  {I love that my brother's wedding was more fun than hobnobbing with movie stars!}

The Hepburns at the Emmys.

The "more fun" Vegas wedding!

If you could go back and re-live one day, what day would you choose?

The day after our daughter was born I felt like God had touched us in a profound way - our family was complete.  Previously I had a c-section, attended my second son’s delivery with his birth mother, became pregnant after close to 10 years of infertility, then had complications, almost losing her numerous times while pregnant.  Finally at nearly 40 I was able to have a natural childbirth with this 10lb 2ou baby girl.  All of the work and pain of birth made me feel like I had climbed the highest mountain.  There’s nothing that compares to the exhilaration you feel after you’ve pushed your physical abilities beyond what you thought you could for the love of another; when you’ve been blessed with the ultimate gift of life.  We felt so alive, the world glowed bright with every detail, we were ecstatic.  The love and bonding that grew sure and steady with the boys was intense and immediate after her birth.  To have her safe and sound heading home to her brothers was indescribable.  We are family!     “ . . . He who began a good work in you will perfect it . . .” 

What is one (or more) item(s) on your bucket list?

Run a 10K and bike a Century ride (100mi)                                   

Spend a couple of months with my husband exploring Europe