Smart Girls

“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap!” ~Ashton Kutcher

I'm going to admit it now.  There have been times that I've downplayed my intelligence because I did not want people to know that I was smart.  Even as a little kid, I would often not raise my hand in class even when I knew the answer.  There were times in college or in law school when my response to "how are you doing in school" was something along the lines of "well they haven't kicked me out yet" rather than "I'm making good grades."  When I worked in private practice I often responded to the question of "What do you do?" with "I work at a law firm" rather than "I'm a lawyer."

And I'm not alone.  My friend who got into Harvard talks about how she "almost went to school on the East coast."  My mom sometimes intentionally mispronounces words (although she may just do that to annoy me and my brother, I'm not completely clear on her motives).  A girl I went to law school with used to whisper answers in the back of the room and be right all the time but not say them out loud.  An attorney I know constantly downplays her knowledge and abilities to others.

Why do we do this?  Why do women feel the need to act dumb or blend in or be embarrassed about their accomplishments? 

I'm sure there are a lot of reasons.  But I think one of them is the  idea that boys don't like girls that are too smart.  I mean, you don't want to be dumb, but you also can't be too smart.  You'll never find someone if you are too successful or too intimidating.  Way to put this in our heads, society.

An article I read last week confirmed that there are some guys who feel this way--in fact, a recent study shows that men who were told their wives did better on an intelligence test had lower self esteem than those who were told that their wives did poorly.  What the heck??  Well luckily, another guy thought this was stupid as well and wrote a great article outlining the 5 benefits of having a smart and successful wife.  You can read the whole article here.

We are made to be smart and successful.  And when we downplay that, even for something that seems insignificant, we're not doing ourselves--or the world--any favors.  And if you ask me, any guy who is too dumb to figure that out probably isn't worth our time anyway.  Because the good guys?  They like smart girls, they'll support smart girls, and they'll celebrate smart girls successes.

I'm going to leave you with a little story I love. My dad and I were talking recently and the issue of a woman making more money than the man came up.  He says that back in the early 1960's, my Gran was making more money than my grandpa.   My dad remembers her asking him if that bothered him.  His response?  "Hell no, I just wish you made even more!"  That's a guy who had it figured out!

My grandparents wedding photo

Ask Little Cowboy

Try to contain your excitement, friends.  I know y'all have been missing Little Cowboy.  Today we've got a few questions and a few funny conversations from that little gem of a nephew I have.  (If you missed prior Ask Little Cowboy blogs, click here to get caught up.)

Conversations with Little Cowboy

Me:  Well today my darn tooth broke and I have to go to the dentist.
Little Cowboy:  The dentist!?!  Oh, Tiff.  You are not going to like what they do to you there.
Me:  Well I have to go.  Why do you think my tooth broke?
Little Cowboy:  Probably because you eat too much hard food, like chips.  You need to eat more protein.

Little Cowboy:  Well, Tiff, I got hit in the face with a metal golf club in PE.
Me:  Who hit you?
Little Cowboy:  Some girl.
Me:  Well did you hit her back?  (Note:  This is why I'm the aunt and not the parent.)
Little Cowboy:  Nope, I didn't have anything in my darn hands!

His poor little bruised face

Little Cowboy:  Sue, I'm selling cookie dough for school.  Will you buy some?
My Mom:  Sure.  What will all this money be used for.
Little Cowboy:  Heck if I know, you'll have to talk to Mr. Thompson (the principal) about that.

In school, they are learning about fire safety.
Teacher:  If you hear the smoke alarm, you should feel the door for heat before you open it.
Little Cowboy:  That doesn't really work at my house 'cuz my mom sets it off every day when she's cooking.

Me:  What did you learn at school today?
Little Cowboy:  Today we learned about Christopher Columbus. He lived a long time ago.  Did you know it was so long ago they didn't even have pens?  He had to write with a feather.

Answers from Little Cowboy

1.  How do you like your new school?  Good. Ya, I like it.

Official School Picture

2. Tell us about Katie Elder.  She is a good horse. She's sometimes bad and when she's good I feed her sweet feed. When she's bad I don't. {I'm not sure how he defines "bad" but I don't think that his mama was too excited to see this happening the other day...}

3. How do you like your principal, Mr. Thompson?  He's nice, I like to talk to him in the morning about his house. {Every morning before school, Little Cowboy finds the principal and gives him a report on the house that the principal is having built next door.  Every single morning, without fail.  "Well they weren't working today, I don't know what their problem is."  "Today they were pouring concrete, I'm keeping an eye on them for ya."}

4. Do you have any girlfriends at your new school?  Yes, [Name has been removed to protect the innocent]. (Note from his mom:  I have told him no girlfriends.) {A couple of years ago he had about 5 at a time, so if he's narrowed it down to one, we may be getting pretty serious.}

5. What was your favorite part of your vacation to Texas this summer?  Probably the Texas Ranger game but it was very hot!

6. Who is your favorite football team?  Texico is my school and I cheer for Texico.

Whoever.....(also known as a little rant)

Sometimes, a girl just needs to get a few things off her chest.  Here's a little Monday morning rant for ya....

Whoever built the fence in my backyard, which fell down Saturday night due to too much wind and rain, is really not on my nice list.  Not at all.  (Of course, there are fences down all over town and most people had trees down too so I really shouldn't complain!)

Whoever said "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" was full of crap and obviously was not in a long distance relationship.  Because it's hard.  Really hard.  And I miss that boyfriend of mine.

Whoever invented the triceps dip on a weight bench that my trainer tortures me with more often than I'd like is now on my list of people who I'd like to see fall off the face of the earth.  I've never felt pain like that.  I couldn't even wash my hair one day last week because it hurt too bad to lift my arms above my head.  And then while complaining about this to College Roomie, I learned that her string-bean armed self somehow has Arnold-Schwartzeneger-type guns and can do 76 of those dips without stopping??  I did 3 set of 15 and literally almost cried.  Holy crap--she's super human strong!

Compare our arm size...how is this possible?!?

Whoever thought it was a good idea to give college aged girls a big SUV that Daddy paid for an a fancy cell phone they never put down clearly never drove on a college campus.  Come on, girls.  Get it together!


Whoever is responsible for OSU football sucking it up this year needs to be fired or flogged or something because this is just not acceptable.  Let's catch the ball, make good passes, punt more than 14 yards, and for the love let's gain positive yards on a run!  I'm headed to the land of orange this weekend for homecoming and I better not leave disappointed!

Whoever has not seen Friends and does not get my daily references to the show---such as last week when I said, "I don't know what on a break means, but it wasn't good for Ross and Rachel"---is seriously missing out on all things good.

Whoever decided that it was a good idea for offices to open at 8 in the morning should be punched in the face.  Seriously, if I could get another hour of sleep every day I promise I would be more productive while I'm there.  Pinky swear.

30 by 30: Month 11

Good grief, we are down to just one more month to go!  I'll have to admit to you that I have accepted the fact that there is no way I will accomplish everything on my list by the time that November 1 rolls around.  Just not going to happen.  But, I'm still plugging along trying to cross off as many as I can!  Here is what I was able to check off in September.

7.  Read 24 more books  (13/24 completed).

In September I read a book recommended to me by SoulMate Friend called A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans.  It was really good--the writer is hilarious and it was fun to follow her journey to try different Old Testament commands and see how that impacted her faith.  Here were some of my favorite quotes.

Peace and joy belong not to the woman who finds the right vocation, but to the woman who finds God in any vocation, who looks for the divine around every corner.

Martha wasn't the first and she certainly won't be the last to dismiss someone else's encounter with God because it didn't fit the mold.

Be careful of challenging another woman's choices, for you never know when she may be sitting at the feet of God.

Knowing that God both inhabits and transcends our daily vocations, no matter how glorious or mundane, should be enough to unite all women of faith and end that nasty cycle of judgment we get caught in these days.

One need not be a saint, or even a mother, to become a bearer of God.  One needs only to obey.  The divine resides in all of us, but it is our choice to magnify it or diminish it, to ignore it or to surrender to its lead.

Why did the Jews have children after the Holocaust?  Why do women keep trying after multiple miscarriages?  It's our way of shaking our fists at the future and saying, you know what?--we will be hopeful; things will get better; you can't scare us after all.  Having children is, ultimately, an act of faith.

Faith isn't about having everything figured out ahead of time.  Faith is about following the quiet voice of God without having everything figured out ahead of time.

8.  Send little gifts to my friends once a month (11/12 completed).

This month I was super excited to send a college football themed package to three of my favorite kiddos.  I adore these little boys and think that everyone looks better in orange.  Super Mom did an adorable blog showing off the goodies, so to see that, click here.


16.  Visit 2 new states (2/2 completed).

After checking off Washington back in May, I was worried about getting another state crossed off the list.  But when Uncle Black Belt and I were on our way to Notre Dame, we made a quick detour to Michigan so that we could take a picture by the sign and knock this item out.  Contrary to popular belief (caused by Uncle Black Belt's post on Facebook that said, "How did we end up in Michigan??"), this was an intentional detour.

30. Pray a voiceless prayer.

This list item was inspired by my friend Dr. Kyra who told me a story of a time when she was desperate for an answer, so she went to a church and left an item on the alter.  It was her voiceless prayer.  Well I just loved that idea and knew I had to incorporate it into my project.  I thought I knew what I was going to do back in November when I put this item on the list, but a lot of things can change in a year.  Including the item I decided to use as my voiceless prayer.  So a couple of weeks ago, I got up early one chilly fall morning and made my way to the Grotto on the University of Notre Dame campus.  It was dark and cool and basically empty.  And there, amongst the candles beneath the Basilica spires and the golden dome, I left my voiceless prayer.  And then a bit later got a voiceless answer.  I'm not sure whether it is something I am going to blog about it or not...I'm still debating whether it's something I want to share, but suffice it for now to say that it was a beautiful, perfect moment for me.

We Would Do Well To Remember This

My friend Dr. Leah posted a quote yesterday from Bl. John Henry Cardinal Newman:

"God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another.

 I have a mission; I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons; He has not created me for naught.

 I shall do good—I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace while not intending it if I do but keep his commandments. Therefore, I will trust him."

It's easy to get caught up in life.   To wind up so focused on things like to do lists and work projects and laundry and dishes and scrubbing the bathroom that we forget that we have a bigger purpose.  That we have a bigger purpose that has been assigned solely to us.  And that if we fail in discerning that purpose and completing our task, it will not be done.  We would do well to remember this.

Basilica of the Scared Heart - Notre Dame, IN - Sept. 2013

2013 Mud Run

"Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie — not perfect but who's complaining?" ~Robert Brault

After the smash success and fun of last year's Mud Run, my family congregated on Dallas again last weekend for the second annual Dirty Girl Mud Run.  It was a blast.  We ate a lot, "ran" a little, watched football, laughed an insane amount, and just generally had a great time (even though I just about froze to death--what are the odds of a cold front moving in two years in a row on the same day in Dallas?!)  Anyway, here are a few photos from the big event.

Leaving the house for the fun...

It's an inside joke, but if you know the story, it's hilarious.

Aunt Delta Dawn seriously said, "Hey, hey guys?  Is this twirking?" 
Um....no.  Funniest part of the day!

All nice and clean in the before photo

The whole crew.

Kevin LOVES holding hands.

Me and this cute water boy I found.

The Aunts and the boys.

Cousin Kevin and Cousin Mim striking a pose.

A little pre-race Zumba to get everyone pumped up.

The first obstacle--high knees.

And the after photo--one obstacle left!

Up the cargo net we go.

Aunt Delta Dawn takes off.

Official post-race muddy photo.

A fun day with some of my favorite people!

I Choose...

Some Funny Conversations with The Boy From Texas

The Boy from Texas is pretty clever.  He makes me laugh.  So I've jotted down some funny conversations that have happened lately.  Now he's no Little Cowboy (I've got to get another post from him ASAP, I know), he's pretty comical anyway.

Number 1:
Me (about 11:00 one night):  A lot happened today!  I made a list of things to tell you.
The Boy:  Okay....
Me:  First, I was all over killing the ants in my back yard today (proceed to tell him the long drawn out story).  Second, Sarge came home (proceed to tell him the long drawn out story).  Third....
The Boy:  Um....honey....exactly how many items are on this list?


Number 2:
Me:  So are you going to come to The Mud Run that I told you about?
The Boy:  Oh, I talked to Aunt Evil Kineval and Queso about it and they're going, so I have to go!
Me:  You'd have thought that...you know...your girlfriend going would have been good enough.
The Boy:  I mean, I want to see you too....

The Boy and The Aunts

Number 3:
Me:  (Telling him a story about girls asking boyfriends permission to do things.)
The Boy:  When are you going to start asking me for permission to go places?
Me:  I think you know the answer to that question.
The Boy:  Yep.


Number 4:
The Boy:  I'm at your Aunt and Uncle's house, but they don't have any water.
Me:  Is she going to make you smothered burritos for dinner?
The Boy:  Um...I just said they had NO WATER.  No one is cooking.
Me:  Oh.  Yea.
The Boy:  It's a good thing you're cute.


Number 5:
The Boy:  I bought you something.  I'm sending it in the mail.
Me:  Ahh!  I am so excited, I love getting presents in the mail!
The Boy:  Don't get too excited.  It's not a ring or anything.
Me:  I know I'm pretty laid back about stuff, but do not ever propose to me via mail.

Number 6:

(I send him a picture collage that shows him that I'm sitting at his house--I came to surprise him.  He calls right away.)

Me:  Hello.
The Boy:  Are you seriously sitting on my couch right now?
Me:  Why yes.  Yes I am.
The Boy:  *giggle*  You turd head.  *giggle* 
(Yep, apparently we're mature like that.)

Some Stuff I'm Enjoying

So this week I'm on the road running all over Texas giving presentations and going to meetings.  It's been super fun, but it's not left me a lot of time to blog.  So since I've not taken the time to sit down and write anything for today, here is some stuff I've been enjoying the last week or so from other people.

* So this is love.  I think that this blog is precious and perfect and so true!  Love is all of the perfect, sweet, romantic moments.  Holding hands while you walk down the street and cute notes on the counter and sweet words in your ear.  But love--REAL LOVE--happens in the other moments as well.  The nights when you are so tired you fall asleep without talking.  The times when someone forgets to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer and someone else has no jeans to wear.  When you are testy or tired or leave your shoes in the middle of the floor.  As the blog says, "This too, is love, love that manifests itself in the grace to live out the everyday together."

*  I want to be this kind of person.  You know, except for without a wedding getting called off and all.  Just want to be clear on that.

*  This feeds my insane love for all things Papal.  My friend Cardinal Dolan (I only wish he was my friend in real life, then I could make part of my dream dinner party come true!) wrote a great article last week looking at the last three Popes and describing each of them by looking at how they showed us the spirit, head, and heart that we should possess as Christians.

Bl. Pope John Paul II statute - Krakow, Poland - May 2013

I'm In Love With This Song....

Amen, amen, amen!