One of Everything

"We fool ourselves and cheat ourselves when we say that all of us are the same. We should not want to be the same as others and we should not want others to be the same as us. Rather, we ought to glory and shine in all of our differences, flaunting them fabulously for all to see! It is never a conformity that we need! We need not to conform! What we need is to burst out into all these beautiful colors!" ~C. JoyBell

Okay, for those of you impatient readers who have been asking when I will be blogging all about the wedding, here's a bit of a start on that today.  My plan is to wait until I've gotten all of the photos and the video before I really get going on this.  So let's all take a deep breath together, in......and out.  You'll be sick to death of wedding talk by the time I'm done anyway.

We served bbq brisket at the wedding reception.  Great meal for all but one, my Aggie Friend, who is a vegetarian.  So, I told my  mom we had to have one vegetarian meal at the reception.  After convincing her that she could not, "Eat the potato salad and just pick the bacon out of the beans," my mom called the caterer and made the request.  She finished her call with the following observation.  "My kids have one of every kind of friend."

And it's true.  As I looked around the reception, we really do have one of every kind of friend.  There were babies who were only months old and grandparents in their eighties.  People wore jeans, people wore heels, my High School Buddy showed up in a t-shirt and I would have expected nothing less  (unless he wore the old work shirt my dad gave him one time).   My college roommates were there, as was my dad's college roommate, and my very first childhood friend. There were criminal defense attorneys sitting across the aisle from an assistant U.S. attorney sitting across the aisle from someone who spent some time in jail (and not to visit a client).  There were Christians and atheists. People who have traveled the world next to those who have never been on a plane.  Pro-life Catholics ate cake with pro-choice Democrats.  Police officers, pharmacists, teachers, stay at home moms, and ranchers all shared the dance floor.  Several of my high school teammates were on the dance floor, as was a friend The Boy from Texas and I met less than a year ago.  People who had never ridden a horse ate brisket with people who sat in a saddle before they could walk.  My girlfriends from elementary school sat next to parents of my friends from the showing family.  College friends visited with law school classmates. There was a range of life experiences and ethnicities, and income levels.

 

And you know what?  I'm better for knowing every one of those people.  My life is fuller with them in it.  Whether they don't eat meat or have never owned a suit or have not traveled outside the county.  Thank God for our differences and for bringing this group into my life.  I am thankful each of the ones.

Newlywed in the Kitchen Recipe #2: Beefed-Up Biscuit Casserole

The Boy from Texas' first recipe selection from our collection of cookbooks was from the New Mexico Cowbelles Enchanted Eating cookbook.  I would highly, highly recommend this cookbook to anyone that likes beef.  The recipes are easy to prepare, the ingredients are not crazy, and the food is good!

He chose to try out the Beefed-Up Biscuit Casserole.


The Boy from Texas Rating:  3 stars.

The Boy from Texas Comments:  (1)  It's missing potatoes.  (2) You could mash it all up and wrap it in a tortilla. {Seriously, this burrito thing is a problem.}  (3) I'd eat this once a week.

Beefed-Up Biscuit Casserole

1 pound ground beef 

1/2 C chopped onion {You know I don't like onion so I left this out}

1/4 C chopped green pepper

1 (8 oz) can tomato sauce

2 tsp. chile powder

1/2 tsp. garlic salt

1 (8 oz) can refrigerated biscuits

1 1/2 C cheddar cheese, grated

1/2 C sour cream or 1 can cream of mushroom soup {I used sour cream}

1 egg, slightly beaten

Brown meat, onion and green pepper, drain.  Stir in tomato sauce, chile powder and garlic salt.  Simmer while preparing dough.  Separate biscuit dough into 10 biscuits.  Pull apart each biscuit in 2 layers.  Press 10 biscuit layers over bottom of ungreased 9 inch square baking pan.  Combine 1/2 C cheese (save the rest for the topping), sour cream (or cream of mushroom soup) and egg.  Mix well.  remove meat mixture from heat; stir in sour cream/cream of mushroom mixture; spoon over dough.  Arrange remaining biscuit layers on top; sprinkle with remaining cheese.  Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or until biscuits are golden brown.  Serves 5-6 people.

My Thoughts on Brittany Maynard and "Death with Dignity"

"Faith in God means we live with hope.  It means often times hoping even when it seems futile.  It means believing that God can deliver us, and often times, He will.  But it also means that at times, He may not, and if He does not deliver us in the way we desire, it means we still have faith and trust that his plan is perfect and He will make good of it all."  ~Chris Faddis, It Is Well



I wasn't sure if I should even write about this.  It's a controversial issue.  People are very much in one camp or the other.  But from the moment I read about Brittany Maynard's story, and for the next several weeks, I just could not get it out of my mind.



In case you missed it, Brittany Maynard was a 29 year old woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.  In light of this diagnosis, she decided to end her own life before the disease caused her the tremendous suffering that was certain to come.  She championed the phrase "death with dignity" after moving to Oregon, a state which allows physician assisted suicide.  On November 2, 2014, Brittany took her own life.



I want to start out by asking that everyone pray for Brittany's soul and for her family.  First and foremost, this is a tragic, horrible, unfair situation.  And I cannot imagine being in her shoes.  And because of that, I will not judge the decision that she made.  But, I do want to point out that another choice existed here.

I have watched several loved ones suffer and die from horrible illnesses.  My grandmother died of brain cancer at 67.  My college friend, Pink Boots, died of the same disease in her mid-twenties.  I watched Mr. Franklin wither away from Lou Gehrig's disease.  My family lost one of our own to lung cancer on one side and pancreatic on the other.  I know what suffering looks like.  Others do too, like those who loved Angela Faddis and Susan Spencer-Wendel and Morrie Schwartz, and those of us who read their books.



I know it is hard and painful and so unfair.  But I also know that God blesses during even the worst suffering.  I know that every single time I got to visit Mr. Franklin while he was sick--whether it be when he would drive us around in his golf cart or when he could barely whisper a congratulations on the phone when I passed the bar exam--I was blessed.  I know that I probably learned as much about life and love watching him die as I did watching him live.  I know that Pink Boots' friends and family cherished the extra time we had with her.  I feel certain that my mom and her siblings insistence on the importance of family was solidified in my grandma's hospital room.



And I can assure you, although they greatly suffered, each of them died with dignity.  They died loved, respected, and heroic.  I believe it is important to be very clear that choosing to live your life until God calls you home is not somehow undignified.  It is faithful.





We do not know how God will bless us or those around us.  It may be in mysterious ways.  Ways that we will never understand. And if we question that--if we take the plan away from Him and make it our own--people will miss out on those blessings.  We must remember that in the end, after even the worst suffering, God will be victorious.  There will be no more tears or pain or illness.  And that, alone, is dignified.



Please pray for Brittany, her family, and all those who suffer.

Newlywed in the Kitchen Recipe #1: Beef (or Chicken) Stew

So.....it turns out to be a lot of work cooking dinner every night.  The Boy from Texas, much to my dismay, isn't really on board with my practice of eating Wheat Thins and calling it good.  The first week of this little experience, we had burritos four days in a row, at his request.  It was then I decided we had to expand his palate.  Man cannot live on burrito alone.

And so, a new blog series was born.  Lucky for us, we got several recipe books for wedding gifts.  The Boy from Texas will be choosing at least one new recipe each week, which I will be preparing and then blogging about.  He will be in charge of the ratings system.....1 to 5 stars.  At the end of the year, he will be selecting his top three recipes.

We kicked things off with my mom's recipe for Stew.  You can actually make this with either beef or chicken, but because we are from cattle country, of course we went with beef.

Boy From Texas Score:  4 Stars.

Boy From Texas Comments:  Double up the meat.

Sue’s Soup Recipe

*My mom wrote this, my comments in orange.*

Cut beef (or chicken) into small pieces or buy it in small pieces. 

Put a little Crisco Oil in pan and brown the beef (or chicken). 

Add Salt, Pepper, a little garlic salt, and a little minced onion to meat while it is browning.  {I didn't use minced onion...who has that?}

When meat is browned, add 4 cans of Chicken Broth and 3 cans of water. Add 2 small cans of  V-8 Juice. (I use the small individual juice cans).  Add cut up potatoes to the meat and broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and let potatoes cook about 1 hour. 

Sprinkle in a little minced onion, basil, tarragon, parsley, and a bay leaf. (If you don’t have all of these, use what you have. You can add any other spice that you decide you like in it.) Use things like basil and tarragon sparingly. They are strong spices).  {I used garlic powder, bay leaf, parsley, sea salt, and pepper.  They were all in the spice rack we got for our wedding present.}

About the time the potatoes are almost done, Add celery, squash, corn (I buy 1 ear of corn and cut corn off of cob), green beans, carrots, and any other fresh vegetable you want to add. {I used zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, celery, cauliflower, green beans, and cabbage--all fresh.  One thing, if you use cabbage, put it in during about the last 20 minutes or it will over cook.}

Cover and let simmer about an hour. 

Taste the broth. According to taste, you might want to add another can of chicken broth.  If you add more broth, make sure you have 1 can less of water than broth you add.  According to taste, if you want it more “tomatoey” add another small can V-8. According to taste, add salt and pepper if needed. 

Let simmer until ready to eat. Use small burner when simmering and keep heat as low as you can so you don’t burn the bottom of the pan of soup. 

Note:  Sometimes, I buy frozen noodles and defrost them and add when I have about an hour left to simmer. You kind of have to watch them to be sure they don’t absorb too much of the broth or you might have to add more broth. Don’t add too many noodles because they expand in the pan.  Sometimes, I do not add the frozen noodles. 

{I served this with cornbread--made from scratch if that means out of a Jiffy box--and sliced pepper jack and cheddar cheese}.

Missing It

"It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching." ~St. Francis of Assisi

On the way home from our honeymoon,  we had one last flight from Dallas to Amarillo.  We missed it.

We were delayed out of Calgary, ran across the airport, and while the plane was still there the gate was closed and we could not get on. Turns out, no one gave the gate agent a heads up we were on our way.  

I was sweaty.  I had been up since 3:00 am. I just lugged two jackets, a sweater, and a trash bag full of boots (which I refused to put in the checked baggage because we would have been over the weight limit and had to pay $100 extra) across the airport.  I was tired.  I wanted to be home.  I hadn’t gotten to take a shower that morning.  I was annoyed.  And I screamed (loudly) a curse word right in the middle of that airport.

Almost immediately, I regretted my outburst.  It was no one’s fault we missed the flight.  We had nothing we were rushing to get to.  The pilots had gotten us safely out of a snow storm into Dallas.  We got re-booked on a flight that left an hour and a half later. No harm, no foul.

All I could think about was a saying I have probably heard 100 times.  “You may be the only Bible some people ever read; you may be the only Jesus some people ever see.”  Well, I sure didn’t look like anything you’d find in the Bible as I was having a fit in that airport.  I didn’t reflect Jesus with my actions or my words.  Nothing I did was kind or patient or loving.  Nothing indicated I even knew Jesus, much less am here to live my life in accordance with His purpose.  

Photo via Britt Fisk

In my selfishness, I missed it.  Not just the flight, but the chance to plant a seed that might have eventually lead someone to salvation.  And the even more concerning question…..what if this was not the first time that has happened?   I may be missing it more than I’d like to admit.  

And so now, I am making a more conscious effort to curb my selfish whining and to find a way to show others what following Jesus means.  As He does, God is giving me lots of opportunities to do so.  When I was the first person on the scene of a car accident on Sunday, I ran over to help the bloody victim, despite my complete inability to handle blood.  Jesus would have run.  When a little girl screamed literally the entire 2.5 hour flight to Washington DC, I assured her frazzled and embarrassed parents that it was okay.  Jesus would have comforted.  When I passed a beggar on the street, I looked him in the eye, gave him some money, and told him I would pray for him.  Jesus would have seen.

I've got to do better.  I could overcome missing the flight, but not missing my purpose.

Me at 31

“I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.”~Jeff Lindsay

Listen, kids, you all are going to read more about our wedding than you will ever want to read soon, but today, I am continuing on with a birthday tradition I began four years ago.  Each year since, I have looked back on myself at 28, 29, 30 and now 31, reflecting on what the year has taught me.

At thirty-one, I...

Photo via Britt Fisk

Was a bride and am now a wife.  And the spectacular nature of that is not lost on me.  The importance of those promises and the meaning of those vows is not something I will ever take lightly.

Feel loved.  I have always been loved by so many people.  But this year—particularly on the heels of my wedding—I just feel more loved than I ever have.  Certainly, I am loved by that handsome husband of mine, but I also felt so loved by the 400 friends and family who took the time to come celebrate with us and by all those who sent prayers and well wishes from afar.

Believe God answers prayers.  This one, again, is something I've always known.  Of course God answers prayers, His ways are better than my ways, and He always has a plan, regardless of what the answer may be.  And of course I am blessed, so much more than I deserve.  But if I'm honest, there have been a lot of unanswered prayers in the last decade or so.  Heartbreaking, soul crushing, hard, unanswered prayers.  It was easy to forget that sometimes, God's plan and my plan completely line up and His answer is "yes."  The last year has been one full of prayers answered and plans aligning, and for that I am so grateful.

Have found my tribe.  I read somewhere that every woman needs to find her own tribe.  A group of women with whom she can surround herself and who support and encourage her, who enrich her life, and who help keep her on track.  After years of collecting these friends, I can honestly say that my tribe has been assembled.  Just after my 30th birthday, ten of the tribe gathered in Texas for a football game.  This summer, several of the tribe--many of whom hate water--trecked to the lake to celebrate my bachelorette party.  Four times, the tribe gathered to shower The Boy from Texas and I with amazing wedding gifts.  On the eve of my wedding, one of the tribe members hosted all the girls at her house and sat up for hours talking with us about pregnancy and motherhood and infertility and all of these things that young wives face but no one seems to discuss.  On the wedding day, the tribe turned out in force to take pictures, run errands, do make up, fix hair, hold bouquets, dance the night away, and so much more.  My tribe is made up of all colors and ages, shapes and sizes, interests and backgrounds.  But they help to make me a better me, and that's all I could ever ask for.

Understand that life is a gift.  This time of year always reminds me of this, particularly as I remember and still mourn the loss of two dear friends ten years after they were taken far too soon.  This year, as I have watched others suffer though unimaginable losses, I have been reminded time and time again that we cannot take life for granted.  We cannot forget that we are here for a purpose.  That even the hard times are for His glory.  

And So It Was...

"And so it was that she, having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised."  ~ Hebrews 6:15

  

Letters to Mr. Right: Letter #21 (The Series Finale)

 "And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." ~Christina Perri, A Thousand Years

Dear Mr. Right,

It sure is nice to finally know your name.

I really can't wait for it to become mine tomorrow.

Until that day (tomorrow),

Me

What Should I Say to My Single Friends (Part 3)

Today is the last blog in our series.....I thought I'd go the flip side and ask my single girlfriend what things people say that they probably mean to be encouraging, but are actually totally annoying.  They made quite the list!

Single people are fun too.

 So let's consider putting these on the "not to be uttered" list, shall we?

"You're trying too hard."  It doesn’t bother me when people say things like “he’s out there somewhere” or “give it time” because I think those cliches are sincere and absolutely true.  But I positively hate when people say things like “you’re trying too hard.”  Excuse me?  How do you know I’m trying so hard?  Do you know something I don’t?  Because you know what i’m doing right now?  I’m sitting on the couch eating some soup and watching Netflix.  I had no idea that I’ve been actively recruiting potential boyfriends in sweatpants on my couch this entire time.

"It will come when you least expect it"

"You're still so young"

 "Its not you"

Don't make dumb suggestions of who I could date.  I get so tired of "well (you have to draw this well out. weaaaalllll..) you could always date {insert name here}" as if I am invited to a dinner party last minute and looking for something decent to wear in my closet. "Oh hey, this dress isn't too wrinkled. It will work for the occasion." "{insert name here} is single and not too old, he has some baggage but he's not too messed up."  Come on people!!


 "You are too good for them" (which i never can figure out, if I'm too good for them, then it would be MY choice to be with them or not)


"At least you don't have to take care of someone else." - This actually makes me sad for the person who tells me this. Why do you feel you HAVE to take care of the person you are married to? Why do you not WANT to care for your spouse?

"You should pray more about it."- I completely understand this, and trust me I pray for my husband on the regular. But if I bug the Big Man upstairs one more time about a spouse he is actually going to spite me for not praying for other attributes and people. You pray for me since you are so concerned about my marital status.

"People are getting married and having kids later and later now. I'm sure you'll find him."- Thanks, it was my plan all along to not find him till ..."later and later" becomes an issue. Also, why do I have to find him? Why can't he find me?

"I envy you and all the adventures you get to take....because it is just you." - You had to throw that last part in, didn't you? Why do you not take adventures with your significant other? Having fun and doing amazing things should not stop when you find The One.

"We all have to kiss a lot of frogs." Because thinking of men as amphibian creatures is exactly what I want to hear when I am dating and you have a Prince Charming. Also if you are married to your high school sweetheart or the first guy you kissed, DO NOT SAY THIS.

"But you are so great, the whole package. I just don't understand how someone hasn't snatched you up yet." or "I always pictured you being married with kids by now." Thank you, now I am going to go home and think about what dark, twisty part of me is repelling men from "snatching me up."

"Our relationship is just perfect. You'll find that too." This is the one that kills me; it makes me question a lot about a relationship when I am in one, or makes me apprehensive to commit to a new one. I will be the first to own up to never having a perfect relationship, and I think that is just fine. However, when people tell me their relationship is perfect, it makes me doubt myself and whoever I am dating at the time, or not dating. Do I have to find perfect? Do you not have disagreements or misunderstanding? Do you really agree on everything? Do you think it is okay that he leaves his socks inside out on the bathroom floor? Because if "perfection" is what I am supposed to look for, I don't think that is going to happen. I think I am going to marry someone perfect for me, but I have no expectation for a "perfect relationship" at all times.

What Should I Say To My Single Friends (Part 2)

Today, we're going to some of the most fun, amazing, smart, beautiful girls I know to get their take on the question.  Each of these ladies are still out there in the trenches taking grenades from people---you know, "Honey, you know your not getting any younger" and so forth.  I wanted to get their take on this topic.  So you're going to hear from lawyers and government employees and pharmacists and teachers from three different states today....we've got a variety of backgrounds, professions, and personalities here, so I think we've pulled together lots of good advice on what is encouraging to them in the single chapter.

It's not what you should say, but what you should do.  Keep inviting us out (and other singles so we don't feel like the 3rd wheel all the time), have dinner, go get that pedi, take time to chat on the phone, weekend snowboarding. Girls days like they used to be.....let us pretend for a few hours that we aren't any different than you are. And most of all when we are super down about it and feeling sorry for ourselves, cheer us up, give us alcohol, listen to us bitch and complain, but at the same time try not to let us dwell on it for too long....not necessarily writing it off as what we are feeling isn't important or warranted, but we gotta get back up and move on because lets face it being debbie downer sure isn't going to attract boyfriend/husband material.

My very favorite third wheel photo--dancing with the happy couple.

Be as comfortable about my singleness as I am.   I would just like for people to be as comfortable with my being single as I am. I love being able to sleep in the middle of the bed, spend $100 at the craft store and paint all weekend, or pack up and live on my best friends couch (she's single too) for a whole weekend if I want to. Show me you are proud of me and respect me by not telling me some cockamamie bull about how the right one is out there waiting for me or God has a plan for me or whatever it is that helps YOU sleep at night. I'm single and it's ok. And I don't have time to pat your hand and reassure you that it's ok because I'm kinda busy being awesome.

Remind me to keep living my life and help me do that!  I think it’s always super encouraging to hear that I should keep living my life and enjoying the opportunity to do things on my own terms while I can.  I know that, on their face, comments like that aren’t words of encouragement, per se, and are generally unrelated to how to find a nice boy, but I think that’s why I appreciate it so much!  Also, people tend say it in the context of “hey, if you keep doing your thing and enjoying yourself, you’re going to meet someone great in the process.”  And they’re right—why put your life on hold waiting for someone to show up?  I think it’s incredibly important for young women to understand that they shouldn’t be defined by their relationships, that their worth is in no way correlated to relationship status, and that they should make (and are entitled to) their own happiness. 

Don't push us, appreciate where we are.  Over the years, I have always found it so encouraging to have other women, with husbands and families, support me for what I am doing right this moment and not pushing me into the next step. I recently had an older woman, with a husband and family and whom I respect a lot, tell me how proud of me she was that I am doing what I want and my career choice. I have had several men tell me it is awesome that I am doing exactly what I want right now, and that they hope their daughters do the same thing.

Don't constantly ask about our personal life.  For me, people who are supportive about all the things I am doing without mentioning anything about my relationship status it is so refreshing. If I want to tell you about my personal life and relationship status, I am open enough I will. Many women are the same way: if we want you to know about our relationship status...especially if we are in a relationship....WE WILL TELL YOU! 

Be supportive of where we are now...talk to us about our plans, what we enjoy, what's going on and know it is okay if it does not match the path you took. I want the cute house with a view and a wonderful man for a husband with dogs and kids and all that comes with that. I CANNOT wait for it. But, right this moment that is not where my life is. Right now, I am doing everything I can to make myself a wonderful woman for the man who will be my Mr. Forever while hopefully, he is doing the same thing. So be supportive of the people in your life who are not married, who don't have kids yet, and who maybe don't even want that in their life. Ask them about what they are doing right this moment, what they want to do next, not why they have not done the same thing you have. If you are close friends with them, you already know.

Keep up the annual girls trips.   The number one encouraging thing for me is those annual girl trips....don't stop going on those just because you are married now, its very discouraging and makes me feel like I'm losing out on both friendship as well as love.