I'm Not Going Anywhere

"You find no difficulty in trusting the Lord with the management of the universe and all the outward creation, and can your case be any more complex or difficult than these, that you need to be anxious or troubled about His management of it? " ~Hannah Whitall Smith

So a little while back I was having a conversation with a super nice, very intelligent father of one of my friends. We were talking about how eventually I would like to end up back home in a small town on the farm. When I said this, he looked at me sort of dumb-founded and said, "Well then you need to move. You should be living somewhere with country people like Amarillo or Lubbock or somwhere where you can meet someone that wants to live on a ranch." And he said it in this way that seemed very matter-of-fact, like this was the most obvious thing in the world, common sense really.

And I choked on my drink. I tried to laugh it off, but it really got to me....."Shoot," I thought, "Am I screwing up my life by living where I am? Have I made all these wrong decisions? Have I managed to get completely lost from the plan? There don't seem to be many single country guys around here, sure not that I'm meeting. Oh wow....maybe I need to move!"

And then I got really confused....because on the other hand, I really like my job. I'm doing well there, I'm learning a lot, and I feel like I'm in a good place. I like my house and my friends and having the financial ability to go and do pretty much what I want on the weekends. I don't want to leave that.

So at this piont I was thoroughly confused. And, in the midst of freaking out and wondering if I'm screwing up my whole life, I did what I always do. I said a prayer about it, and I picked up the phone and turned to some of my friends who calm me down the best. In this situation, those that got the call were BFF, ND Friend, and Georgia Boy. (I try to mix it up so that none of them have to deal with every freak out, lest they think I'm crazy!) And, like always, they knew just what to say to get me calmed down.
And I came to this conclusion.....I'm not going anywhere!

Here's the deal. There are so many things that have to work out in order to find the right person, that my attempt to control one of them (geographic location) is not going to be enough to line everything up. First off, there are country guys everywhere (just listen to Miranda...she knows!), so how would I enve know where to move to? What if I picked the wrong place? Would I move again? And again? And even if I move to a place where more country guys are going to be, that doesn't mean I'll meet the right guy or that the timing will be right or that he'll be single at this point....you get the idea. This just sounds horribly stressful.

And so, the bottom line is this: This is something I can't control. This is where the rubber meets the road in some ways when I talk about having faith. It's putting the phrase, "Let go and let God" into action. And I choose to believe that if I live my life doing my best to follow the plan that He has called me to, well then I'll meet Mr. Right whether he lives here or in Lubbock or in Georgia (hint, hint...southern accent!) or in freakin' Germany. It sure seems more refreshing to me to believe that God is in control of this and will line everything up than thinking that I've got to figure it all out.

And, in conclusion, I'd like to thank my lovely friends for talking me off the cliff. Again. And to announce that I'm chosing to trust. To have faith. And to wait. And that I'm not going anywhere!