That Time I Lied to College Roomie for One Month and Three Days (Part I)

"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love." ~Robert Fulghum, True Love


Yesterday, I promised you a good story.  This is is so long, it's going to have to be a three day trilogy.  Just for the basic background you need, here is a visual.

July 31, 2012.  10:35 am.  McCain calls and we're talking about work and what not.  He says, "Do you have time for coffee this week."  I think to myself, "This sucker knows I don't drink coffee, what does he want?"  Then he says, "We have important matters to discuss."  Now, the lady-like response would be, "Well certainly, coffee sounds lovely."  My bull-in-a-china-closet-self response was, "You better not be jacking around here and important matters better mean what I think it does."  He says, "Let's just say we should not tell College Roomie that we are meeting."  That was all I needed to hear.  Cue tears.  What is it about weddings and proposals that flips some sort of hormone switch in girls??  Sheesh.

July 31, 2012.  2:00 pm.  I enlist the Oklahoma Girls for help.  I knew generally what kind of ring College Roomie wanted, but was not totally sure on the diamond cut.  The four of us girls do group emails about random stuff every day.  So....Blonde OK Girl sends around an email about her dream engagement ring and we all jump in and show ours off.  (Sidenote:  BOKG said that she was really liking "simple" right now, and then proceeded to send us a $51,000 ring.  Another blog for another day, that one is!)  College Roomie, so trusting and unsuspecting, played right into our hand.  When I passed the intel on to McCain, he was impressed at my handy work.

August 1, 2012.  1:30 pm.  McCain and I meet for coffee.  After some small talk, I finally smack my hand on the table and say, "Let's get down to business."  Turns out he had already looked at rings and had an idea.  He showed me on his phone--it was perfect.  Completely perfect.  But, he's cautious, so he wanted me to see it in person.  We devised a plan for he and I to meet on Sunday afternoon at the jewelry store.  He had a work meeting that day anyway, and would just pretend it lasted longer.  I vowed to ignore College Roomie's questions about my plans for the day.  We talked about the proposal plan, which I approved of.  I also got him her step dad's phone number and discussed the plan for them meeting to ask for permission.  I will distract her, I promised, even offering to fake a nervous/mental breakdown if necessary.  Go big or go home, kids.

August 1, 2012.  7:00 pm.  College Roomie and I had weekly dinner at my house.  She asked me about my day and what I did.  I completely lied and said I just stayed at the office all day.  No mention of the aforementioned coffee.  I almost slipped once and said, "Yea, today McCain said....." but I caught myself.  Close call.  When she left, I said, "Tell McCain I said hi" you know, for good measure.

August 4, 2012.  7:55 am.  I rifled through a bunch of boxes in my laundry room to find a little red one that contains the ring that College Roomie bought when we faked we were engaged and went to a wedding show.  Why, you ask?  Because McCain and I don't know her ring size and I'm clever and resourceful like that.  We both thought that given events occurring shortly after that wedding show that pretending to be brides might have jinxed us about getting actually engaged.  Clearly that was not the case for College Roomie.  Jury is still out on me.

August 5, 2012. 2:00 pm.  I met McCain at the jewelry store.  Can I just say I now have a newfound appreciation for what boys go through?  This stuff is stressful.  What size?  Shape?  Clarity?  Color?  Type of gold?  I was about to break out in hives.  Best part of the day?  The sales lady is filling out her form and says, "So you want 18 karat" and I say, "Whoa lady hold the phone, how big is this ring?"  Ha...turns out she meant 18 karat gold, not an 18 karat ring.  I feared McCain was buying some sort of engagement medalian.  Oh, and it was tax free weekend and we were at the mall, so ya know....I bought myself a new outfit or two.  What?  I called it my "I'm not getting a ring, but I can get a new skirt" shopping spree.

August 16, 2012. 8:00 am.  McCain called to tell me he was the official owner of a ring.  I told him it was time to get this show on the road because I'm DYING not telling College Roomie anything.  Plus, me and the other Gossip Girls have been planning their wedding and we really need to get some input from her.  Since she's the bride and all.  He says he needs some time alone to work on things.

August 17, 2012.  3:00 pm.  I text McCain the following, "College Roomie and I are having lunch tomorrow.  I still see if I can drag it out to buy you some time."  He wrote back thanking me for the info and said that he would use his time wisely to work on the proposal stuff.

August 18, 2012.  1:00 pm.  I meet College Roomie and her sister for lunch.  McCain is there.  While College Roomie orders, I say, "What the heck are you doing here?  This is not time used wisely."  He said he had been at the office and needed to eat.  I find this unacceptable, but kept my cool.

August 21, 2012.  2:30 pm.  I email McCain and tell him that this blog I am working on about the proposal is getting entirely too long.  I demand a timeline on this proposal.  Patience is running low.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2 of our little trilogy....