There have been some good ones lately. He's clever, that husband of mine.
TBFT: *Inspecting my plate after dinner.* You left three pieces of chicken.
Me: I know, I don't want them. I ate all the rice and vegetables.
TBFT: Eat the chicken right now.
Me: I don't want it.
TBFT: You are not getting up from that chair until you eat the chicken.
Me: I'm not eating the chicken.
TBFT: I'm going to sit on your stomach and make you eat it, it's for the baby!
Me: Think about that last statement.
TBFT: Okay, I won't sit on your stomach, but eat the chicken.
---
TBFT: What is this stuff?
Me: Pudding and cool whip for a pie.
TBFT: Why is it sugar free and low fat? You need to gain weight, quit buying healthy food.
Me: Not sure, but I don't think pudding and cool whip are ever "healthy food."
---
*Ongoing discussion about wills and Godparents and guardians and all that adult stuff.*
Me: Do you just want to worry about it later?
TBFT: No. This is the kind of stuff you have to talk about so that you're not a sucky parent. We're talking about it!
---
*Watching America's Next Top Model.*
TBFT: YOU watch this crap?
Me: I know it's bad, but I just got sucked in.
*10 minutes later, he starts shaking his head.
TBFT: I need this baby to be a boy. Please, a boy.
---
Me: What will we do if our kid wants to play soccer?
TBFT: Well, I guess that would be okay. Not my favorite sport, but okay.
Me: What will we do if our kid wants to rodeo?
TBFT: Ugh. We'd really have to talk about that idea.
Me: What will we do if our kid wants to be in the band?
TBFT: We'll bust his butt and tell him to be serious.
---
TBFT: I don't like this shirt, it doesn't fit right.
Me: Yea, your shoulders are too big, that's the problem.
TBFT: *Giggles* You're the one that's going to be a problem for in a few months.
---
*Eating at this hibachi restaurant we like.
Me: This is so good, the baby must like hibachi.
TBFT: Good.
Me: Maybe we're having an Asian baby.
TBFT: We sure as heck better not be!
5 comments:
These conversations are absolutely hilarious!!
These made my day! :)
Oh I read these to mom while we're driving and we were both rolling!!! Our favorite is the one about sports vs band replies...too funny
I'm doubtful that you guys will ever live in a town that's big enough to have a school with a band, so that probably save TBFT the disappointment and shame of having a child in band.
-College Roomie
Haha I love these! The chicken & band ones are my favorite.
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