Funny Conversations with The Boy from Texas (Part VI)

I know we just did one of these, but seriously, I had 5 more in the last week.  It's been interesting at the Little House on the Prairie.

TBFT:  You don't throw up correctly.
Me:  Excuse me?
TBFT:  I mean, it sounds more like coughing and hacking.  It's like you're hacking up.
Me:  Um.....sorry?

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*One Saturday morning after I had started my day "hacking up"*
Me:  Okay, I made breakfast.
TBFT:  Awesome, what are we having?
Me:  Eggs and cheese in a tortilla.
TBFT:  What, no bacon?

(FYI.....probably NOT the best thing to say in this situation.)

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*Meeting our doctor for the first time.*
Doctor:  I know this is your first, so there are no stupid questions.  There may be a lot you guys don't know yet.
TBFT:  Just assume we know nothing, doc.  Absolutely nothing.


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*Looking at baby items for our registry.*
TBFT:  This is stupid.  There is too much crap and it's all way too expensive.
Me:  I know, but we have to choose a carseat.
TBFT: *Almost screaming.*  Well then I like this one.  Look at that, you could probably throw it against the wall and the baby would still be fine.
Me:  You stop that right now or we are leaving this store!
TBFT:  What did I say?

(And now we are on some Child Protective Services watch list.)

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*Leaving said store after looking at baby items.  Woman comes in lugging a big box with something baby related to return.  The Boy from Texas turns around to gawk at her.*
Me:  What are you doing?
TBFT:  I need to see what she's bringing back so we don't put it in our list.

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*After a morning of me throwing up (you see this is pretty much all we talk about)*
TBFT:  I think maybe you should drink a beer.
Me:  What?!?
TBFT:  Yea, drink a beer.  Maybe that will help, there's carbohydrates in there.
Me:  You know what's in here causing this, right?
TBFT:  Oh, yea, I mean, probably one beer wouldn't hurt that much.