Happy Endings

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." ~Orson Welles

So I recently learned that a certain movie, which was based on a book, has a completely different ending than the book. (I'm trying not to spoil anything here....). Apparently they made it a happy ending, rather than the real ending from the book.

I think this is a huge problem in Hollywood.....there is always a happy ending. The love story always works out. The cure always comes. The good guy always wins. The marriage is always easy. And the bad guy always gets caught. I think this is bad for real life. We expect life to always be easy and for us to always get a happy ending.

I'm as guilty as everyone else. I can think of one movie where there is not the classic "happy ending." My Best Friend's Wedding. Have you seen it? Julia Roberts is in love with her best friend, don't know his name, but Hot Guy with the scar on his lip. Problem? Hot Guy is engaged to Cameron Diaz. You watch Julia struggle with trying to win over Hot Guy. At one point, they kiss under a gazeebo on what was supposed to be his wedding day to Cameron. Now....because I'm a happy ending sucker, I stop the movie right there and pretend it's the end. Seriously, I don't watch the actual ending. (In case you don't know....he ditches Julia and marries Cameron). In life, that's probably the real ending....the perky blonde gets the girl and the best friend is left out in the cold. But it's not the happy one I want, so I change it. I'm as guilty as the people in Hollywood.

In life, sometimes happy endings don't come. Sometimes, the love story that would end happy in the movie, just ends. Sometimes the cure isn't found, the good guy gets beat, and life is just hard. Don't get me wrong....I'm not whining (Cousin Kevin gets angry with me when I whine on the blog) and I know my life is great and I'm completely blessed more than I deserve. But I'm just saying, sometimes happy endings in movies mke us think that is how life will always be. And when life is hard, we want to throw our hands up because it's not like that in the movies.

So the bottom line is that life is hard, it's not always fair, and there are not always happy endings right away. I believe that things work out in the end like they are supposed to, and that we all get our happy endings, just maybe not here on earth. So unlike the movies, where they can just change a sad ending into a happy one, in life we have to learn to deal with the endings we're given.

At least we have to for now, until we figure out a way to pause life the way I pause My Best Friend's Wedding.

Proud To Be A Cowboy

"Please remember The Ten. Good men, good sons, good fathers, good friends." ~Doug Gottlieb

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the tenth anniversary of the OSU plane crash. One of my good friends, and fellow OSU alums sent me this wonderful article written by Doug Gottlieb, a former OSU basketball player and current ESPN analyist. It's long, but it's worth reading.

Doug graduated the year before the plane crash. He knew everyone on board. He had flown in the exact plane, on the way home from the exact game, two years earlier. He describes each of the men who were lost that day; he describes them as his friends.

He talks about going to school in Stillwater, playing for the Cowboys, and what it means to Remember The Ten. He also talks about how painful it had to have been for Coach Sutton to make those 10 phone calls 9 years ago, and how he thinks the pain is something he never got over. He talks about even though Stillwater has changed, people still remember.

This is honestly what being a member of the OSU family is about. It's a network of people who have shared experiences...whether you walked across the campus 4 years ago or 40, you are connected with everyone else who bleeds orange.

This is why we remember The Ten. This is why I'm proud to be a Cowboy.

The Good Ol' Valentine's Days

"Love is that first feeling you get before all the bad stuff gets in the way." ~Some little kid

I generally complain about Valentine's Day, like any other single girl in America. But this year, instead of my complaining, I thought I'd share the other thought that always comes to mind every year....how much more fun was Valentine's Day when I was a kid!? So here we go, Valentine's Day 5th Grade.....circa 1995.


First off...relationships (if you can call them that) were better in the 5th grade. I mean really......they were easier, there was no pressure, none of the cute boys were married....see? Easier!

Your entire relationship was based on holding hands on the playground, always picking the other person first for kickball, passing notes in class and occasionally being brave enough to call the person on the phone. Why did things have to get complicated? I sort of miss that 5th grade state of mind. Because the relationships were better, the Valentine's Days were better. I feel the need to share a few Valentine's Day stories from better times.

The first will involve me and my 5th grade boyfriend. We'll call him FirstValentine. I remember him bringing me candy and a teddy bear and a card....all on one Valentine's Day! I haven't gotten something that good in the fifteen years since! Remember those card machines that were at like Wal-Mart and you could design them yourself? Yep....it was one of those. Creative and sweet. I still have that card. Like I say, they just don't make Valentine's Day like they used to.

Another example involves two of my friends from my 5th grade class. We'll call them Tom Cruise and the cheerleader. Tom Cruise liked the cheerleader, but she didnt' seem so sure. In order to win her over, he hand-made her a gift.....it was made of Dallas Cowboys fabric (her favorite team) and ended up in the shape of Gumby. I still think back to that and about how cute it was that he made her something from scratch, focusing on what she liked. Sigh.....I have never received my own Gumby, but I frequently remind the cheerleader about hers.

Next fond memory, in 5th grade, everyone had to get a valentine from everyone else. Now, of course, not everyone had to get Gumby dolls or teddy bears, but everyone at least got one of those little valentine's that came in a box from everyone else in class. This equated to getting like 15 cards! Woo hoo!

And last thing, there was a party that everyone was invited to, whether you had a date or not. You didn't have to worry about being the third wheel. Everybody's mom brought junk food and cokes and we all watched a movie. Again, no pressure, no judgment, just enjoying the holiday. Yep, those were the good ol' days.

Oh, and you may wonder what happened to my friends? Apparently great Valentine's Day gifts don't equate to happily ever after for 5th grade romances. Tom Cruise lives in another state with his wife and beautiful baby. The cheerleader lives in a different small town with her two awesome kiddos. FirstValentine ended up in love with his high school sweetheart and they had two adorable kids of their own. We stayed good friends over the years until he passed away a year and a half ago. He was always there for me.....he did all of my home ec assignments and was the only reason that class didn't kill my gpa! I think of him often now, and I have always thought of him on Valentine's Day.

So this year, instead of complaining, I think I might go buy myself some junk food, look for my own gumby doll, watch a movie, and pretend I'm back in 5th grade again.

Family Farm Friday # 6 : Century Awards

"I say invest in your farm families, because your farm families will turn around and put every cent they've earned back into the farm, into their communities." ~ Jon Hagler, Missouri Director of Agriculture

In one of my google alerts about agriculture, I came across a great program in Oregon and see now that there are similar programs in several other states. I don't know if all other states do this or not, but I think that if they don't, they need to start!

Oregon (and apparently several other states including New York, Missouri, and Iowa) award program called the "Century Farm and Ranch Program" that recognizes farmers and ranchers whose families have worked the same land for 100 years. The operations get recognition at the State Fair (where else??) and get a sign for their yard. They are asked in many states to submit narratives and photographs of the farms over the years, and these are kept on file or made into a book. But more important than that is the fact that people recognize the kind of dedication, commitment and hard work it takes to keep a farm or ranch going for one hundred years.
As Missouri Governor Jack Markell put it, “I am not a farmer, but I recognize the kind of dedication, love of the land and perseverance it takes to live the agricultural life, an enduring way of life. I salute these families for their living history, their ongoing contribution to our state’s agricultural heritage, and sincerely hope that their children and grandchildren will carry on the tradition and farm this land for many years to come.”

The pride that a family farm instills in the owners is something that's hard to explain. It's a sense of belonging, of purpose, and of home that I don't think other people will ever understand. You learn at a young age the type of sacrifices required to keep a farm going. This summer, my family will gather at the homestead of my great grandparents to celebrate its Century anniversary. 100 years ago, my great grandparents loaded their baby up in a wagon, drove to the homested and settled there. Four more babies, lots of grandkids and great grandkids later, it's been 100 years. I'm proud to say that farm is still in our family, owned by my great uncle. The farm that my grandparents started is just over 50 years old. If blogs are still popular in 50 more years, expect to be seeing a blog about that anniversary as well.
Think about the idea of farming for a century....these farms and ranches began in 1910. To put this in perspective, that was before any World Wars had been fought, about the same time that Henry Ford was building his first model T, and before several states (including my own) were even states. And every day from then until now, these families have been farming and ranching. I agree with Governor Markell, I hope that 100 years from now, these people's grandchildren are getting the 200 year award.

Throwback Thursday #12: Buonna Notte in Roma!

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” ~Maya Angelou

One of my favorite parts of Rome was that you could just wonder around and never know what you were going to come across next. Literally, you could just be walking down the street, turn the corner and there you were at some ancient church, or in front of the Colliseum, or outside of Valentino.

It is a great city with so many different things to see and do! And yes, for those of you who were wondering, it was very safe. Cousin Whitney and I walked around by ourselves from about 7:00 pm until well after midnight and had no problems. Today, I'm going to share three of my favorite "modern" places in the city. Then next week I'll share some of the great parts of ancient Rome.

Piazza del Popolo

This was the closet piazza to our hotel, so we ended up walking through it a lot. But it was really pretty, huge, beautiful architecture, a fountain, and lots of people watching. There were tons of little restaurants and shops along the street leading to the piazza. It's what you think of Rome to be like when you see it on a movie. If I were going to compare it to a city in the US, it would be the most like San Francisco I think....open spaces, pretty, not too many people....

This picture is of a huge rally in the streets that ended up in Piazza del Popolo. These are fans of some soccer team (I'll admit my soccer knowledge is limited to liking to see David Beckham with no shirt on) and they were seriously having like a parade/riot. It was awesome. They were waving flags and chanting and had their faces painted....I have a video of this somewhere. I've got to learn how to upload those!

Trevi Fountain (Fontina de Trevi)

This would be a much more famous, more photographed area of Rome, but that also means way more crowded. Regardless, you have to go to the Trevi Fountain when you are in Rome. You throw a coin in and it ensures you will return to Rome again one day. The architecture and sculpting on the fountain are amazing. We even saw people taking their wedding pictures there! Oh yes, as for a US city comparison...I'd say Washington DC.

The Spanish Steps (and Piazza di Spagna)

Another very popular place in Rome is the Spanish Steps. US City equivlent....New York City. It was something I'm glad we went to see, but we pretty much snapped a few pictures and continued on. There were way too many people, and people trying to sell you junk. But it's a beautiful piazza and this is where all the expensive, high end stores are in the city. Not so much my scene, but glad we went and took pictures there nonetheless.

For everyone who is still waiting to see pictures of the ancient ruins and Colliseum, next week is your lucky week! I think we still have about three more Europe blogs to go. Hope you're not too sick of Throwback Thursday!

Eating Out with Kurt Warner

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Well I've had enough of the political scene after one blog, so let's move on to something I really care about. That's right, football. :)

As you may have read (assuming my blog is not your only source of football news), Kurt Warner is retiring from professional football. He has one of the most remarkable and memorable stories in all of football. It's the type of story you'd see in a movie. Thirteen, he was working stocking groceries in a small town in Iowa. Then the St. Louis Rams came calling. Next thing you know, he's leading them to the Super Bowl. And winning NFL MVP honors. Twice. Just last year he led the Arizona Cardinals to the Super Bowl for the first time in their franchise history. Clearly he is a great player.

He's a good person and father, too, apparently. Every time they go out to dinner at a restaurant, his kids have to choose one table of people. Then, his family pays for that table's meal. He's teaching his children to give back...they have been blessed because of his footbll career, yet he seeks to do nice things for other people.

The other rule the Warners have when eating out is that after the waitress takes their drink order, they kids all have to know what color her eyes were. Again, a small thing, but it teaches the kids to pay attention to people, to look them in the eye, and that their waitress is no less important than anyone else they come in contact with. Maybe this lesson comes from a dad who spent nights stocking store shelves.

I think we can all learn a lot from Kurt Warner. His never-quit attitude, his caring about people, and his desire to give back are qualities that I hope I can show in my own life. And while we may not be buying people's dinner at the kind of restaurants he can afford, giving what we can when we can can make just as much of a difference......both for the people we are giving to, and for ourselves.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"Common etiquette says not to talk about politics, sex, religion, or money. But these are the most interesting things to discuss!" ~Unknown

In general, I try to stay away from politics on the blog. I really am not interested in a lot of political things, and I figure it might come back and bite me one day.....I hear those Senate confirmation hearings to get on the Supreme Court can get pretty hairy! ;) But today, I'm sort of breaking the policy.


Anyway, my commentary today focuses on the state of the union address. I don't know how many of you watched, but at one point, President Obama called out the Justices of the United States Supreme Court, many of whom were in the audience, for a decision they made regarding rules for campaign financing earlier this month. Now, I'm a bad lawyer and admittedly have not read the opinion, but for the purpose of this blog, that is neither here nor there, and frankly might even better prove my point.

Regardless of whether you agree with the decision of the Court or not, they are the Supreme Court and they deserve respect. They should not have been called out in front of the entire audience at the state of the union address. They are not in a position to defend their decision, as the Court does not speak about its specific decisions it has made. All they could do was sit in the audience, probably dumfounded. Although, Justice Alito's reaction seems to have caught some attention.

I feel that it was unprofessional and uncalled for. Just to be clear---I am setting forth no political belief or viewpoint. I am not hinting at what side of the aisle I fall on. I'm merely commenting on my belief that the justices of the United States Supreme Court deserve respect from everyone, including the Presdient. I would feel the same way no matter the decision that they had made and no matter the party affilitation of the President doing the calling out.

I have, in fact, made similar arguments regarding respect for both President Bush and President Obama, arguing simply that whether we agree or disagree with his politics, the President of the United States deserves our respect becuase he is the President. The United States Supreme Court has been charged with interpreting the laws of the United States and making the best decision they are able to make, given the facts and record before them. For that, they deserve to be respected. Period.

...Put A Ring On It!

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." ~Kenny, age 7, when asked if it's better to be single or married

No no, no one is putting a ring on my finger. Don't get all excited. A couple of weekends ago my college roomie and I went to a wedding show here in town. It was sort of as a joke---I heard the advertisement one afternoon, was watching that stupid show "Say Yes to the Dress" that night, and I thought, hey, we should go and try on dresses! I told the roomie and she said she was in.

Only problemo? Neither of us are engaged. Solution? We bought rings at Claire's and decided to pretend. My ring ended up being too big for my finger, and the roomie (who is actually in a serious relationship) decided faking it might be a jinx for her. So, I took her ring, figuring no jinx is going to be worse than my current relationship status, and was a bride for the day.
My quick report on wedding shows......don't go if you're really getting married. I felt that it was very overwhelming--there were way too many people jammed in a banquet room. It was hot and you could hardly move. I said to the roomie, "Can you believe there are this many people geting married?!" To which she replied, "Like us?" Fair point. Anyway, I think had I really been trying to plan something, it would have just stressed me out---the vendors were pushy, they were not organized well (I would have put all the cake together, all the flowers together, etc), and it was just too much.

Oh, and note....you don't get to try on dresses at a wedding show. Boo. You do, however, get to eat a lot of cake samples, so that was nice.

Anyway, back to the point of the blog. I've always said I don't want an expensive ring. Seriously, I have repeatedly claimed that I would kill a guy if he spent thousands of dollars on a ring. I would be perfectly happy with cubic from Wal-Mart. (Yes, I've been told I'll make some guy very happy one day...) I just feel like you can spend the money on so many other, better things, and that what matters is the marriage, not the ring.

I think I get this partially through genetics. My dad bought my mom's ring off his cousin, who had proposed to a girl and then they broke up. My mom didn't care, and they've been married for thirty years. My dad's cousin's wife, however, is not a fan! See below.
So my point was totally proven at the wedding show. As I was analyzing photographs at one of the booths, the photographer came over and said she just wanted to tell me I had a beautiful engagement ring. Yes.....that would be the $10 ring from Claires. And she would be a wedding photographer. See? No one can even tell! I'm so keeping that ring and when that guy does come along, maybe we'll just use that and save our money for a freakin awesome honeymoon!

Family Farm Friday #5: Our Right to Farm

"The farm just won't get tended if the farmer isn't here, and these amber waves of grain might just disappear." ~Merle Haggard


As I mentioned on a previous blog, I recently had a law review article published about Right to Farm statutes. I realize that most of you are not going to sit down and read my entire article, so I figured I'd sum up the issue for today's blog.
You've heard the song, "Daddy Won't Sell the Farm" right? The story told by that song is the reason we have right to farm statutes. Here are the important lyrics......“His cows get loose and run right through the fast food parking lots, and Daddy gets calls from the mini-malls when they're downwind from his hogs. When his tractor backs up traffic, the reception ain’t too warm. The citys growing around him, but Daddy won't sell the farm.”

This problem is becoming more and more prevalent in the US. Our population is growing and people are moving from cities to the open spaces in the country. A problem develops, however, when the people who move to the country looking for peace and quiet don't know anything about agricultlure and the practices that we use. And you know what? Most people don't know! Did you know that the average American is 3 genertions removed from the farm? That means these people have never lived on a farm, and have never even gone to visit their grandparents on the farm! And did you know that less than 2% of Americans are directly invovled in production agriculture? This lack of understanding can spell disaster for producers if we are not careful.

The new neighbors don't understand why tractors are driving slowly down the highway, why you are bailing hay before the sun comes up, why the steers that were just weaned are keeping the up all night, why there is dust from the corrals when you work cattle, why you are spreading manure on the corn field and making it stink....and the list goes on and on.


My favorite stories that I came across on this issue involves complaints made to a dairy and a feedlot. The neighbor called up the dairy farmer next door becuase he was concerned the farmer was abusing his cattle. When the farmer asked how they were being abused, the caller explained that he could see their udders were all swollen, and that must have been the cause. The feedlot situation arose when the neighbor demanded that the feedlot should wash all of their cattle daily to prevent the smell.
These are the types of things that people from the city honestly just don't know. When they don't understand, sometimes they file nuisance lawsuits seeking monetary fines (which are bad enough!) but even more serious, injunctions to keep you from using the essential practice that they find bothersome.

At the most basic level, nuisance law says that you can't use your property in a way that interferes with another person's enjoyment of his property. You can see where the problem comes in for farmers! Luckily, all states enacted Right to Farm laws. These laws say (mind you they are all different and contain different provisions so I'm just giving the basics here) that if the farm was there first, and the neighbor moved to the area, then the neighbor can't keep the farmer from farming, so long as the farmer is not being grossly negligent. These laws, while critically important, are not that well publicized or known about. Those of us involved in production agriculture need to be aware of the law in our state......one day, we may need to use it!


Obviously, communication with and education for these neighbors are our first line of defense....if we talk to them and explain what we are doing, a lot of this mess may be avoided. One dairy farm I read about sent out monthly newletters to neighbors telling them about what was going on at the farm and giving then a chance to voice concerns and express any opinions. They even included a scratch and sniff patch that smelled like manure in one of these letters to help people understand what they were smelling!


However, sometimes you run into those people who talking doesn't work for. If that ever happens, knowledge of your state's right to farm law is a little weapon you might need to pull out of the arsenal one day.


If anyone is interested, I will be happy to mail or email you a copy of my article, which focuses on the specific provisions incuded in laws across the US that are important in order to protect family farmers.

Throwback Thursday #11 (again): The Vatican

"Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen." ~Benjamin Disraeli

I am happy to report my technical difficulties have been solved and Throwback Thursday is back in business! Now, as you will recall from two weeks ago, I survived the scariest taxi ride of my life, and we were on to day two in Roma, Italia! This was our day to be spent at the Vatican.

As you know from my prior bucket list blog, I was extremely excited to see the Vatican. Although I loved Switzerland, and if I could only go back to one I would choose the Alps for sure.....the Vatican was one of those places you've seen a thousand times on tv.....so when you walked up and were actually standing there, it was just amazing.

First, we headed to the Vatican Museums. These are rooms and rooms and rooms filled with beautiful art---frescas, statues, paintings, tapestries......it would take you two weeks to see everything in there. I mean they are everywhere---the walls, ceilings, floors, it was amazing! I only have these few pictures, because most of the rooms prohibit picture taking and I, unlike a lot of the other people, tried to follow the rule.

The Vatican Museums also house the Sistine Chapel. It was really cool to see it---it is such a beautiful place with the amazing painting of Michaelangelo on the ceiling. Again, no pictures due to me being a rule follower in a house of God. Crazy, I know. Surprisingly, I didn't find this to be the most beautiful, or most spiritual chapel we saw on the trip.....but that's a blog soon to come.

Then we made our way to St. Peter's Square. This was my favorite part of the Vatican. It's the place you see the most on tv. The Pope lives in an apartment overlooking the Square, and speaks to the public from the Bascilica, which is the beautiful church located in the middle of the square. It's a beautiful sight to see!

The square is surrounded by these statues of saints.

Here is the statue of St. Peter right in front of the Bascilica.

So we were walking around and saw a huge line to get into the Bascilica. We got in the line and talked to some really nice people from England who had been to the Vatican before. They told us that we could go up to the top of the Bascilica. So, of course, we did. It was so awesome...we had great views of the square and the whole city of Rome.Then we went inside the Bascilica. First we went to the grotto--which is where many of the prior Popes are buried. This includes the late Pope John Paul II. Seeing his grave and all of the people gathered around was very moving. It was also very angering---because the rule is you don't take pictures of his grave, but people were just snapping away. Grrr.
Once we got inside the actual Bascilica, it was huge and beautiful. The artwork and detail was just breathtaking. This picture below is the alter above the spot where the bones of St. Peter are buried. Again, it was amazing to know that you were standing right above where the bones of one of Jesus' Apostles are laying.

Then that afternoon, we went on another tour to the underground part of the Vatican called the grotto. This is the excavations under the Bascilica. You have to book these in advance, so if you're going to Rome, you should totally book it. The most amazing part was actually seeing the bones of St. Peter. Again there were no pictures allowed, but I did get to tke this one of these lovely gentlemen we had to check in with for the tour. They are the Swiss Guard who are the police force for Vatican City. They were super cute! ;)

Anyway, these pictures really don't do it justice. The Vatican is just a spectacular place that everyone should visit if they have the chance. Stay tuned next week for our night out on the town in Roma!