My 30 Things List: Part 3

Today I continue revealing my list of 30 things every woman should know and have by the time she is 30.  Be sure to check out Part I and Part II if you'are new to these parts.

Every woman should know...

Not to think she needs to marry someone to do things for her (ie. cars, money, tools).  

“I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.” ~John Steinbeck

Listen up, girls.  I get it.  I do.  It is easier to rely on someone else to know how to change your oil or to understand the finer details of the difference between a Roth IRA and a 401(k), or to show up with a toolbox full of sockets and actually know how to use them.  Where you can really get yourself into dangerous territory, however, is when you think you need to marry someone---anyone---so that he can do these things for you.  That's bad, bad, bad.

You should be getting married because you love someone, not because you are sick of hauling the garbage can up and down the driveway on Mondays and you hate the idea of having to mow the yard.  It's tough being an independent woman.  But it's tougher realizing that you married the wrong guy instead of learning the difference between a regular and a Phillips head screw driver.

You can do these things on your own, or you can hire someone to do them for you.  You don't need to land yourself in a relationship for that purpose.  (Although let's be honest, how cute is it when your boyfriend is handy and can fix things for you??  Another perk of country boys, I'm just saying!)

Ziplining in Costa Rica - 2012 (unrelated to anything, I just like the picture)

How to keep a person's memory alive.

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."  ~Thomas Campbell

The odds are that by the time you are 30, you have lost someone close to you.  For me, I have lost 5 people who I would consider very close to me, and probably 10 more who I would consider close family or friends.  And when you lose someone who is important to you, I think that it is critical to find a way to keep their memory alive.  I honestly think that doing this is what keeps you from going completely insane.   How that looks is up to you.  Some people take flowers to the cemetery.  Some like to have the person's photo on their house.  Some cannot imagine doing either of those things, but prefer to talk to the person who passed away as though they are still here with them.  I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way, and I don't think that it is our place to judge how someone chooses to do this.  But find a way that works for you.  For me, it looks like a bookshelf I call my angel shelves where I keep pictures, notes, crosses, rosaries, etc, and blogs where I share my favorite memories about the people who I have lost.  I like to think that I am not only keeping them alive, but managing to share them with others who may not have been as fortunate as me to have them in their lives.

That even though friendships change they do not have to end.

“Being in each other’s company they feel like they are every age they ever were, because they see themselves through thousands of shared memories.” ~The Girls from Ames

Newsflash:  life changes all the time.  And with that, friendships change.  The odds are that you have found yourself in different physical locations, or in different places in life, or different relationship statuses (is that the plural?  is it statusi like syllabi?)  than your friends.  It is almost inevitable that friendships will change as we get older and our lives change.  But that does not mean that the friendships have to end.  Far from it, sometimes I think that they only get better and better.  I always try to remind myself that change does not mean an end, and that I can probably learn a lot from my friends who are going through different situations than me.

The Fearless Foursome

Every woman should have...

A go-to perfume.  

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” ~Maya Angelou

You want to have a scent that is you.  So much so that when someone else is wearing that perfume, your friends think of you.  It's hard to find this, particularly for me since I am a combination of cheap and picky.  But take some time and put some effort into this, because as superficial and dumb as it is, somehow it really does make you feel more confident.

VS - Sexy Little Things

A favorite style of underwear.

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."  ~Thomas Szasz

This one is probably less about underwear and more about knowing yourself.   By the time you are 30, I honestly think you should know yourself--what you like, what you do not like, what you are not willing to tolerate, what things may be cool but just not something that you are interested in....you get the idea.  Find yourself a style that works for you, one that you feel comfortable and beautiful in, and screw what the fashion magazines tell you that you should like.  You be you, and be confident in that, and you'll rock whatever choices you make.  Except granny panties, because let's be honest, that's not cool.

Piazza del Popolo - Rome - 2009

He Did, She Did, I Gave a Speech (aka College Roomie's Wedding!)

"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."  ~Paulo Coelho

Y'all.  College Roomie and McCain (who votes for changing his name to Mr. College Roomie??) can throw a wedding.  Holy moly, did I have a blast! Prepare for photo overload.

There were like 50 people who journeyed across the country to watch these two get hitched in the San Juan Islands.  We traveled by plane, bus, ferry and shuttle.

It was a bit of an adventure getting to Roache Harbor on the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington State (heck, it's a bit of an ordeal just saying that), but if you ever get the chance to go, take it.  You will not be sorry.  I deemed this the most beautiful place I have ever seen in America. It was fantastic.

On Thursday, the girls headed to Friday Harbor to do a little shopping and wondering around.  We had a great time in this adorable little town!

Sadly, we did not buy the hats.

After lunch, Nomad and Emily from Friends took us on a hike down to the ocean at the American Camp.  It was beautiful.  Like, breathtakingly beautiful.

I have to tell you a bit about this.  See, in the 1800's there were both Americans and English on the island.  Well a war started when there was an English pig who was trespassing in an American garden, and the Americans shot him.  No lie.  Here's proof.

Emily from Friends, you recall, is from England.  Well I felt so bad that I apologized to her for shooting the pig.  She assured me that she, and her people, forgave us.  Phew.  (Although when she got a few drinks in her and a cannon was fired off during the lowering of the flags, she did say, "Bam, I shot your pig."  So I think she may not quite be over it.)

Oh, I can't leave this out.  Nomad was driving and I made him stop to let me take pictures of all churches and livestock.  When I screamed, "Cows, stop now!"  He said, "This is embarrassing."  He's not use to an ag girl, obviously!

Cattle, sheep, alpacas, log fence, old church

That night was the rehearsal dinner, which was a beautiful bbq along the harbor.  Seriously gorgeous!

My totes amaz roomies. :)

And then someone (guilty!) suggested we hit up the karaoke bar I had seen in Friday Harbor.  It was pizza, Chinese and karaoke all in one place.....you can't pass something like that up.  We managed to convince most of the contingent to go along, and this is what happened next....

Songs may have included I'm Sexy and I Know It, Wannabe (by Emily from Friends and  The Americans),
Rose Garden, Sweet Caroline, Billie Jean, Love Story, Livin' on a Prayer, Danger Zone....

Friday was the big day.....we spent most of it in College Roomie's room getting beautiful.  And having dance parties.  That involved the Groom's mother.  And the songs Thrift Shop and Fancy ala my girl Reba.  We're cool like that.

Then came the big reveal.  Remember the dress shopping experience?  Well if not, go read that link.  So College Roomie told no one which of the two final dresses she picked.  We did a dress reveal instead.  Here is what that looked like....

Mind you, I told myself to remember I was being photographed...
this is my "pretty" face.  Good  grief almighty.

Then we took lots of pictures.

Right before this shot, I had ahold of College Roomie's arm.
The photographer made me let go because I was squishing her.
I told him I didn't want to give her away to McCain!  He
thought I was strange.

Then the two love birds said "I do" in the most perfect ceremony.

Going in for the chest bump.  Yep, it happened.  Again.

Perfection.

When the ceremony was buzzed by a plane...

And, now, the moment you have all been waiting for.  One of the other sweet bridesmaids, Mrs. Arizona, recorded my speech.  That's right, kids, you can see it in all its glory.  (I start at about 1:00.)



I'm hoping for this to go viral, get rich, and never have to do anything but blog, write a book, and feed cows for the rest of my life.  What?  A girl can dream.

And then, there was some dancing.  And it was glorious.  Fav song of the night?  Thrift Shop.  "I got 30 dollars in my pocket, and a 90,000 credit limit...."  Oh, wait, that's just the Judge Aunt Sandy version.

The girls dancing with their daddies.

I've deemed myself a member of this family.

Gettin down.

I'm not sure how this happened or why.

 And then, it was time for the last dance of the evening.  Everyone got a partner.  The bride and groom got me.

All happy and together.  As it should be.

On Saturday we all big farewell to the islands and our newlyweds.  It was the perfect wedding for the perfect couple and I loved being a part of it!

Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. College Roomie!

Meet the Cast Monday #45: Mrs. Hepburn

Mrs. Hepburn was my first boss when she hired me to tutor/babysit/chauffeur her kiddos when they were little.  To this day, that was my best job and she was my best boss.  No question!  We did a little school, we did a lot of swimming, ate a lot of ice cream....and I got paid.  It was glorious.  She got her blog name because she is frequently dressed in black with pearls that reminds me of Audrey Hepburn.  She is hands down one of the most fun, most kind, most amazing people that I know.  She constantly inspires me.  And yesterday was her birthday, so everyone tell her Happy Birthday today!

Meet Mrs. Hepburn!

What was your favorite part of the trip to Notre Dame?
Having you show us around!  The rich Catholic culture of Notre Dame was absolutely overwhelming . . . standing under the Golden Dome with Our Lady on top while the bagpipes played and everything about the football game were amazing!  However, since we were hoping my daughter would like to go there, my highlight was the moment that crystallized in the cold dawn light after we prayed at the grotto.  As we began our “5K for The Little Flowers” (in support of Reece’s Rainbow for orphans) around the lake, all was still and quiet.  {We were the only people at the lake and the Grotto--it really was amazing.}  We paused and looked back because my daughter had fallen behind. The trees framed her walking serenely along the path by the water.  She was contemplating the wonder of it all; looking happy and at home – mission accomplished! She’d love to go there.   {Convincing her she needed to go there was totally my goal....I'm dying to have a friend at Notre Dame to go visit!}

What is your favorite memory of me babysitting the kids?

Watching you become absorbed in reading Pope John Paul II’s autobiography in helping my son complete a book report on it.  You became so inspired and animated talking about it and in contrast he just wanted to know what to write to get the report done.  {I credit her completely with my love of JPII!  So glad that I had to write that book report!)  The other was watching my daughter imitate you - your mannerisms and enthusiastic way of talking about things you’re excited about.  While it was so cute when she was little, when she does it now, I realize what a strong impression you made upon her – invaluable, thank you.      {I am pretty sure this is a compliment that I do not deserve, Baby Hepburn is the most adorable kid in the whole world, I really think I have learned more from her!}

What is something you constantly pray for?

I pray for God’s grace and His will be done.  I pray for my family, future family members, friends, those who have died and our leaders.  Specifically, I pray in adoration, thanksgiving and ask for forgiveness.  My petitions include praying for those on my list (I keep a list of people and their needs because I don’t want to forget anyone).  For myself I pray for abandonment to follow His will completely, for Him to use me as He pleases, to help me be Christ like, to give me a pure heart, for faith, hope and love.  Lastly, I try to be quiet and contemplate Him, to listen. {I'm horrible at the being quiet and listening part....I really need to work on that!}

Mrs. Hepburn, Dr. Kyra, and me in Vegas

What is the best advice you have ever received?

In high school your Mom and Grandmother were my husband and my English teachers; they got us together.  During our senior year of college I was getting cold feet and thought I ought to make sure he was “the one” by dating other guys.  (Faulty logic, but at 21 it made perfect sense to me.)  Your Mother gave me the best advice that determined the course of my entire life:  ‘If you love him and you are certain he loves you, do not let that go.  You know that he is a very good person and they are rare.  You may not ever find that again.’  She was so right!  I tell my children all the time, be very careful in choosing your spouse, it determines your happiness for the rest of your life.  I am a lucky woman; he is the love of my life, a wonderful husband and father.  Love is more than an emotion, it is a decision, and it is a person – the Triune God, whose love is expressed in marriage.  True love is sacrificial.  When we love someone we try to help them on their journey home - to heaven.   {Good job to my mom and Nannie!  It's funny now because Mrs. Hepburn periodically gives me relationship advice. That's full circle._

You had a season of waiting while trying to have children, what did God teach you during that time?

It was nearly a decade . . . After years of praying in earnest, someone told me that I hadn’t prayed hard enough yet.  That I needed to pray until I no longer cared what God’s answer would be.  I learned that I needed to surrender my will and seek the will of God.  God always answers prayers; sometimes the answer is ‘yes but not now’ or not in the way that I hoped.  What He has in store for us is so much more than what we ask for.  We need to be open to what it is that He desires to bless us with.  {I absolutely love the preceding sentence.}  In His time we were blessed more abundantly than we ever imagined with three great children, a deep faith and appreciation born of suffering and waiting.  If we hadn’t had a period of infertility we wouldn’t have our second son who joined us through adoption.  That was a profound experience.  He is so different from the rest of us teaching us to look at the world a whole new way, bringing us so much joy.  All is well.  He is in control.  He will work all things for good.       

If you could give your 30 year old self a piece of advice, what would that be?

Use a midwife (I had just had a c-section); if you really want to have an unmedicated natural birth you need to go to someone who does them and is able to support you through it.  I wish I had read child psychologist Dr. John Rosemond before I lost 2 years of sleep!  His books are time tested giving solid advice for parents on how to raise ‘responsible, independent children who entertain themselves’.  Say ‘no’ more often to your children; it is not your job to keep them happy but to train and teach them the way to go.  You are their first and most influential teacher.  Relax, being happy is more important than having a clean house.  {Yes....being happy over cleaning.  I love that!}  Your children’s worst day at home with you is better than the best day anywhere else.  Put your marriage before your children, they’ll benefit from it.  Choose the high road:  read, research and learn about:  natural family planning (it’s 99% effective and prevents divorce 98%), natural childbirth and breastfeeding (besides being healthier it causes a tremendous bond), homeschooling, healthy cooking, exercise . . .  They’re countercultural because no one makes a profit by selling them so you’ll only learn about them by taking the initiative and becoming informed for yourself.  Read ‘Born to Run’ and get a pair of minimalist, midstrike shoes – they’ll save your knees.  (Now at 55 with Tiffany’s inspiration I’ve returned to running and in them I can.)  Be there for your family and friends.  Most importantly, make your spiritual life your priority - the love, comfort and direction He blesses you with will get you through anything.  God is love and love defines us.

Mrs. Hepburn and Baby Hepburn running together.

Tell us what it was like to attend the Emmy Awards?

It was exciting seeing movie stars on the red carpet, being in Hollywood     . . . but so superficial.  We waited over two hours to get in and then were escorted through an underground parking garage in heels and formals around the theatre to go in a side entrance.  The Awards program itself was long and often boring. During frequent commercial breaks it was chaos, the stars left and people replaced them so the seats weren’t empty.  Those sitting were texting.  When the cameras would come back on, everyone would become animated and shine again, very much all for show, literally.  Afterwards we were at a party with a half dozen stars, including Rob Lowe and Helen Hunt.  We heard some of them got as much as $10,000 for a couple of hours of being there.  People lined up to have their pictures taken with them.  There were complimentary slippers (little cloth ones rolled up in a can) at the party so women could take off their shoes to dance.  While it was a great experience, we had a lot more fun at your brother’s wedding!  There’s nothing like being with friends!  {I love that my brother's wedding was more fun than hobnobbing with movie stars!}

The Hepburns at the Emmys.

The "more fun" Vegas wedding!

If you could go back and re-live one day, what day would you choose?

The day after our daughter was born I felt like God had touched us in a profound way - our family was complete.  Previously I had a c-section, attended my second son’s delivery with his birth mother, became pregnant after close to 10 years of infertility, then had complications, almost losing her numerous times while pregnant.  Finally at nearly 40 I was able to have a natural childbirth with this 10lb 2ou baby girl.  All of the work and pain of birth made me feel like I had climbed the highest mountain.  There’s nothing that compares to the exhilaration you feel after you’ve pushed your physical abilities beyond what you thought you could for the love of another; when you’ve been blessed with the ultimate gift of life.  We felt so alive, the world glowed bright with every detail, we were ecstatic.  The love and bonding that grew sure and steady with the boys was intense and immediate after her birth.  To have her safe and sound heading home to her brothers was indescribable.  We are family!     “ . . . He who began a good work in you will perfect it . . .” 

What is one (or more) item(s) on your bucket list?

Run a 10K and bike a Century ride (100mi)                                   

Spend a couple of months with my husband exploring Europe                  

7 Quick Takes

Hey hey! Happy FRIDAY!  Woo hoo!

First things first, thank y'all so much for your sweet comments on my House Tour post yesterday.  I had so much fun decorating, but even more fun hearing that everyone liked it (or those of you who didn't kept your mouths shut!)

Today I'm joining a new link up that my sweet friend Super Mom does each week called 7 Quick Takes.  I thought I'd share 7 things I've enjoyed this week!

1. My current favorite song called She Ain't Leavin'.  I am absolutely in love with this song.  In love.  So precious.

2.  This quote.  Haha......totally me and several of my friends!  (Ahem...Blonde Oklahoma Girl and ND Friend....ahem!)

I found it from this website.  Favorite it.  You'll thank me later.  Hilarious.

3.  This article about parents bringing children to church.  If you have kids, please read this and feel better.  If you don't, please read this and don't be a jerk from now on. 

When you are here, the church is filled with a joyful noise. When you are here, the Body of Christ is more fully present. When you are here, we are reminded that this worship thing we do isn’t about Bible Study or personal, quiet contemplation but coming together to worship as a community where all are welcome, where we share in the Word and Sacrament together. When you are here, I have hope that these pews won’t be empty in ten years when your kids are old enough to sit quietly and behave in worship. I know that they are learning how and why we worship now, before it’s too late.

4. This amazing blog about kindness and listening to the pulls God makes on our heartstrings.  Such a wonderful post!

How often do we ignore God’s pullings and tuggings on our hearts because the thing He’s telling us to do doesn’t seem safe, or convenient, or sensible? I think we so often go through life looking for signs and angels and touchstones to point us in the right direction that we miss our opportunities to be those things for someone else. What if we’re not always supposed to be on the lookout for our guardian angels? What if that’s not enough? What if we’re supposed to actually BE that for someone else?

5.  This article listing 10 decisions you can make that will change the world.  I really like all of these, but this one is my favorite: 

Ask yourself what in the world today most breaks your heart and offends your sense of justice. Decide to help change that and join with others who are committed to transforming that injustice.

6.  This photo of me and Loud Oklahoma Girl after we finished our half marathon.  We were happy girls to be DONE!

7.  All the new recipes that I found on Pinterest lately.  I am excited to get to cooking them again now that the whole oven fire incident is behind me. :)

House Tour!

"Don’t worry about being worried. You’re heading out on an adventure and you can always change your mind along the way and try something else." ~Tracy Kidder

Okay, I know you guys have been patiently (some of you not so patiently!) waiting for a tour of my new casa.  Well, today is the day!!  I am absolutely in love with my house.  In love.  I've had a lot of fun making it my own.

It all started with a little painting, for which I called in reinforcements.  Aunt Evil Kineval, College Roomie and The Bride are the most amazing people in the whole world.  They traveled clear to Texas and spent three days helping me paint, pick out a new bed, and generally get settled in.  They.  Are.  Amazing.  Thanks, girls, for having my back.  And a roller!

Me and Aunt Evil Kineval at work

Painting break at Buffalo Wild Wings...

I only got one before and after shot.  The Grady blue guest room HAD TO GO.  Mr. Franklin raised me well! :)  I ended up doing grey with a turquoise accent wall. Thank you Pinterest for that idea!  (Linking up with Saw It, Pinned It, Did It.)

Before / After

Then it was time to get the furniture moved in and get all the decorating done.  I finished that up last weekend and I have to say that I am quite pleased with my interior decorator skills.  Without further adieu, let's kick off the tour.

Please keep your feet and hands inside
the tram at all times....

In order that I do not end up with a stalker who wants to chop me into little pieces, I'm not taking a photo of the outside front of my house.  But suffice it to say that it's super cute.

This is the entryway.  I decorated with an old end table that belonged to my Aunt Jean that my mom refinished that holds a picture of my family.  I also hung two photo frames, all of which hold pictures of me and my friends at various football games.

From the entryway, you walk into the living room.  Here she is!

The piano belonged to my Gran and it was the one I learned to play on.  We spent hours sitting at that old piano, so it's fun to have it in my house.  I decorated with this canvas I love that has sheet music to the Louis Armstrong song Wonderful World behind the lettering spelling out "And I think to myself what a wonderful world."  I also have a couple of little pianos that I had bought for Gran over the years, and a photo of here that I love that are sitting on top of the piano now.

The cow painting is something I picked up while out and about shopping in Stillwater with SoulMate Friend and her sister.  I love, love, love it.  I think it goes perfectly.  They had two more smaller paintings of cows by the same artist and I keep kicking myself for not buying those too!

On to the mantle, which holds some of my favorite décor, including the painting of me, my and my brother moving cows, a cute sign College Roomie got me that says "You can take the girl out of the farm but you can't take the farm out of the girl," some showing/FFA pictures, and the piece from the covered wagon that my great grandparents drove to New Mexico.

Behind the couch you will see these amazingly adorable pillows that College Roomie got me for a housewarming gift.  They have all of the places where I have lived marked by a star.  They are just perfect!

I also have a couple of end tables with various pictures, books, candles, etc.  Oh, including these four little books I found that give you advice circa 1904.  I bought "Wedding Don'ts" "Advice for Husbands" "Advice for Wives" and "Advice for Mothers."  Hilarious.

Okay, so from the living room, you walk through the arches into the kitchen. 

Which is decked out in John Deere motif.

I also made this super cute sign that hangs above my pantry based on a quote from Meg's blog.

Connected to the kitchen is the dining area/office.  I went with an OSU theme, which includes the gallery wall you have seen before.  I also hung up all of my running photos and bibs along with making a cute shadow box of ticket stubs I saved from fun events.

If you go out the door off of the kitchen, you are in the backyard---my favorite part of the house.  I have a huge patio that I've decorated with furniture and a grill.

Plus, the back yard is huge and green and full of plants that I swear pop up new every day.  It's so fun!

 Okay, so back inside and off of the living room we have two bedrooms.  I have one set up as the guest room/banner wall/travel souvenir collection/book shelves.  There's a lot in there, BUT it has a comfy bed and I welcome house guests!

The second room is going to belong to my roommate that will be moving in at the end of the month.  She wanted to paint it, and I love the color she chose and how it turned out!

Back to the living room to the other side, we have a little hallway leading to the laundry room.  Here, I put my bookshelf that holds pictures of the people I love who now live in Heaven, and some other keepsakes and books. 

From there, we head into my bedroom.  This was one of the rooms we painted, and I got new bedding, and I have to say, it worked out quite well! Eventually I want to replace the lampshades, but baby steps on this house decorating thing.

I love all the little decorations I have up all over the room.

I made this little project from the Kip Moore song I love called Hey Pretty Girl, where he says, "Hey pretty girl, let's build some dreams, a house on a piece of land...."  So I found a poster of a country road and painted the words over it.  For all of like 7 bucks, I have decoration for above the bed.

I also have a little reading nook in the corner, which I enjoy sitting in and relaxing.

Then we have the master bath, which we painted this awesome shade of green.  Love it!

And, finally, last but not least, my closet.  I am also in love with this!  When I begged The Boy from Texas to help me hang these shelves, he was totally perplexed why I would decorate inside a closet.  Um....I go in there every day and it makes me happy.  He gave in, and this is what I ended up with.

I love the shelves and photos--my Goddaughter's baptism, the Mud Run with the family, BFF's wedding, me and Little Brother, and a photo that says "She packed up her potential and all that she learned, put on some cute shoes, and set out to change a few things."  Love that.  In the corner we have my Gran's turquoise chair that was always in her bedroom and has since always been in mine. (Thank you to Pink Lou Lou for the closet decorating inspiration I needed!)

So there you have it.  Home sweet home.  And mi casa es su casa, I love visitors!!  Come visit any time!  (I mean, call first....)