A Tattoo

“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant."  ~Nic Sheff

Last weekend I went to get my hair cut and the girl had a tattoo.  Now, I might as well confess upfront that I am not a tattoo fan.  I don't care if you have one, do what you want, but I have zero desire to get one and don't usually pay attention to them.  But my hair dresser had three words just above her collar bone that caught my attention.

Know your worth.

Those three simple words sure carry a punch, don't they?  I think that it is easy to let ourselves be beaten down by life and society and other people and forget that we have worth, just the way we are.  Even if we need to lose 10 pounds or our hair is frizzy or we don't have fancy clothes. Regardless of our relationship status or 401(k) balance or number of plaques on the wall.  During the times when we feel ugly or stupid or inferior.  Even when we long for the white dress, or our big break, or a kind word.

We have worth simply because we exist.  We were created in God's image and for His purpose.  Our worth is in that, period. 


Know your worth.  And then believe in it.  Be grateful for it.  Live it.

My Answers (Part II)

We're back today with Part II of my answers to your questions.  If you missed Part I, just click here.

As to New Mexico..

Besides family and friends (obvi answer), what do you miss most about your home state?  Dry heat.  And green chile. God Bless New Mexico!

When am I ever going to see you now that you are at College Station?  Well, you know that I can't miss the NM State Fair, so I'll be making an appearance.  And you are welcome to come to a football game here anytime!!

As to running...

I stupidly made the goal to "learn to love to run" so, from one fat girl at heart to another, how did you motivate yourself to start running (and running long stinkin' distance I might add)?  I appreciate you calling me a fat girl at heart.  Because I am.  Totally.  I'm trying hard not to be a fat girl in real life.  Ha!  Three major tips I would give you:  (1) Sign up for a race.  Seriously, when you are a type-A personality, knowing that you have something you have to be ready for, something you are working towards, some goal time you want to beat, that's what will get you through it.  (2)  Just keep running.  I know there are real runners who disagree with me, but for me the key is to just keep running.  If you have to slow down, fine.  But don't stop until you get your distance in.  The honest truth is that the first 2 miles are the worst part of any run.  Seriously.  I always want to stop during the first 2 miles.  So, I made a rule.  No stopping until I've gone at least 2.25.  At that point, I usually don't need to stop anymore because I'm used to it.  Your breathing will regulate, your legs kinda go numb, and you can just run.  That's the fun part, you just have to get there!  (3)  Get good shoes.  It's well worth it if you are going to do any distance running.  I had worn Nike for years, but then went into a running store where they watched me run and suggested Brooks.  I swear, it was like running on a cloud.  Total game changer.

As to my childhood...

As a kid, you grew up showing.  What is your favorite fair-related memory or story that keeps getting retold?    I love this question!  Showing was a huge part of my life, so it's hard for me to pick one moment or one story.  I think my favorite "in the ring" moment was winning our County Fair for the third year in a row.  Everyone thought I was going down since I had champion cross, but not champion black.  Getting to pull off the upset was awesome.  I remember coming out of the ring to hug my dad and Mr. Franklin and all of us being a little choked up.  (Second best was winning a class at State Fair with a lamb we raised my senior year, which was a goal I set for myself at 9 years old.)  As for out of the ring, my favorite part was just the people.  Everyone sitting around the showbox talking--adults, ag teachers, kids, little bitty kids, just everyone hanging out.  It really was like being part of a whole other family and I loved every minute of it.

What's the most important thing you learned being a Quay County Girl (note the caps - it's an honor)?  I loved growing up in Quay County and honestly can't think of a better place to raise kids.  For me, hands down the most important thing I learned was what it meant to be a neighbor.  Whether it was everyone being part of the volunteer fire department, or going to help someone cut hay when their swather broke down, or people bringing enchilada casseroles when someone died, or just stopping by for a visit on a Saturday afternoon, everyone cared about everyone else.  We were all part of each other's lives.  I have said it before, but it really did take more than a village to raise me, and the people in Quay County, from kids way younger than me to my grandparents friends who are way older than me and everyone in between, were a huge part of that.

As to life....

When you are my age (52), what's the thing you want to look back on with most pride?  Oh wow.....another good one.  I'd like to look back and see that I've made a difference to other people.  Whether it be a card or a kind word or something bigger.  I would want to look back and know that because of something I did, or because of who I am, someone else's life was better.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment to date?  Oh geez, this is tough.  I'm not sure.  As far as like "something to hang on the wall" type accomplishment, I think I'd go with the law degree and finishing two half marathons.  Both of them were things that I doubted my ability to do--I was pretty sure my first semester that I'd totally lose my scholarship to law school and I never, never, never thought I could run a half marathon.  I think it's a good thing in life to prove to yourself that you are capable of more than you think.

What is a skill or talent that you wish you had?  Oh man, there are so many!  I wish I could sing.  Sew.  Cook.  Make cute, crafty things.  Speak Spanish.  Play the piano.  The list could go on and on.

What inspires you?  Lots of things I suppose, but I think most of all it's the people in my life.  My friends and family are seriously phenomenal people who do amazing things every day.  They are kind and compassionate and fun and adventurous and faithful....they inspire me.

My Answers (Part I)

Well you guys came through with a great set of questions for me to answer!  There were so many I'm splitting them into two posts.  Today, we'll talk about finding the right guy, traveling, my job and cooking.  Tomorrow it will be New Mexico, life, my childhood and running.

As to finding the right guy...

What was your worst date ever?  I have actually blogged about this before.  It was on Valentine's Day, no less.  Check it out here (it's Step 3).  In his defense, I'm not sure he thought it was a date date.  But still bad!

As you've gotten older, what quality has been added (if any) to your "must have" list for a spouse?  Oh, great question.  Hm....I think that the quality I have realized is more important than I probably thought it was 10 years ago is kindness.  I tend to be attracted to people who are funny and loud and outgoing and sometimes it takes me a while to realize that a person is actually not all that nice, even though they are a lot of fun.  I think that finding someone with a good heart and kind spirit is more important to me now than it ever was before.  Which is why I am so thankful I didn't end up married at 21!

What quality(s) have fallen off your list?   Okay, listen, one semester of college during finals, College Roomie and I wrote up a list of qualities my husband would have to have.  It was LITERALLY  7 pages long and we hung it on the wall.  I kick myself all the time for not saving that.  Anyway, there were a lot of funny things on there that I don't actually care about.  For example:  (1) Ability to beat me at 1 on 1; (2)  Knows how to ride a horse; (3) Never wears flip flops.  If a guy is a good person and loves me, I wouldn't care about these things (although I would still pray for athletic babies even if mom could beat dad at 1 on 1).

Have your priorities shifted any?  There is this video that I've thought about posting, but the language is pretty rough and you all know we have Bible Belt Moms who read this blog.  Anyway, I swear it changed the way that I look at relationships.  The basic point the guy makes is that every relationship has a "cost of admission."  So there is going to be something about your partner that is not ideal and that drives you freaking crazy.  When you realize that there is no perfect person for you, and that you love them despite the fact that he never puts the mayo away after making a sandwich and that's just the cost of admission to the relationship, you get it, and your relationship is better for it.  It was mind-blowing for me. I stopped worrying about finding "the one" and everything being perfect and it made all the difference.  If anyone wants the video, let me know and I'll email it to you.

Do you believe in love at first sight?  Nope.  Sure don't.  Particularly given that I think loving someone is so much more about things on the inside--their heart, their personality, their spirit--you can't see that at first sight.

Describe your perfect date (you know where I'm going with that one).  "That's a tough one, I'd have to say April 25.  It's not too hot, not too cold...."  Yes, dear College Roomie, I knew right where you were going with that one.  If I were picking the perfect calendar date, I'd probably pick something in late October--cool weather, football games, hoodies, cute scarves, green chile roasting.  Can't beat it.  If I were picking the perfect date date, I'd go with a pick up truck parked in a field looking at the stars.  And dancing.  And ice cream.  Because, seriously, every good date involves ice cream.

As to travelling...

Whats your next trip you want to take?  Well, you know it's football season coming up in 6 weeks (HALLELJUAH!!) so I was just looking at the schedule.  I'll be going to OSU games in Houston and Stillwater and maybe Austin or Lubbock, a Notre Dame game in Arlington, a Notre Dame game at Notre Dame and a Cubs game with Uncle Black Belt.  Plus, I'll throw in two more weddings, the NM State Fair, and a trip to Wisconsin for a work conference.  There's my fall!

Where would you suggest traveling in Europe to somebody who has not been?  Great question.  I think it depends on what you are looking for.  The most beautiful place I have ever been, hands down, is Switzerland--the tiny villages along Lake Geneva.  It's breathtaking, quiet, clean, very calm and low key.  Rome, however, is a place that's much more like a big city, but has things that you have seen in books your whole life--the Coliseum, the Pantheon, the ruins, St. Peter's Bascilica.  I also feel like everyone should go there.  Lastly, if you want something a little more Eastern or if you are a Pope John Paul II junkie, Poland is your place.  I fell in love with everything there--people, food, countryside.  It's amazing!

Switzerland - 2009

Rome - 2009

Poland - 2013

As to your job...

What do you like most about new job?  I love the chance to get to work on issues and learn law that I am really interested in.  I get to spend my day learning things that can help real people, which is awesome!  I'd also be lying if I didn't admit that I love the hours and my free weekends.

Least?  I miss the people I used to work with.  Not that the new people are not great (they are) but the people at my law firm are just amazing!  I also don't love all the university paperwork.

What is different than you thought?  So far it's been a bit slower than I thought, but I can tell that is changing, quickly!

If you weren't practicing law/working as a professor, what other career would you pursue?   Oh wow......good question!  I always say my dream job would be to run cows and sheep and write a book.  So I guess I'd try to be a writer.

As to cooking...

What recipe would you most like to master?   Um....anything?  No, seriously, I would like to have a good list of "every day" type recipes that I could whip up for dinner without having to put much thought into it.

Bringing Isaac Home

"But I am here.  I will love him.  I will be his mother."  ~Kim De Blecort

I think that some women are just made to be mamas.  You know the ones I'm talking about?  The ones who you can just tell were destined to wear an apron while whipping up gourmet food, and to drive the kids to football practice and ballet lessons all whilst looking completely put together, and who magically seem to know how to sew whatever crazy costume the child needs for the school play?  Well, my friend, Necia, is one of those women.

We met in college at Oklahoma State, and became fast friends.  She and I were on the Mock Trial team together when she got pregnant with her son, Andrew.

Me, Necia and our friend Amy - 2005

Mock Trial Team 2006 - Mat and Necia  are the 2nd and 3rd from the right

One night when she called me crying and said she needed to go to the ER, that something was wrong, and that her husband was at work.  I picked her up and drove her to the hospital.  They ordered an ultrasound to be sure that there was still a heartbeat.  I will never forget the ultrasound technician coming in and asking how many times she had been pregnant.  She responded, "Five."  He then asked how many babies she had.  She responded, "None."  He said he didn't understand, and I think that my death glare made it pretty clear that he needed to stop asking those kinds of questions.  But even then, before Andrew had arrived, Necia was a mama.

Me and baby Andrew circa 2007

Fast forward 7 years (how did we get that old!?!), and Necia and Mat have two precious kiddos, Andrew and Olivia.  They are the perfect little family.  Except for one thing.  They are missing Isaac, the adorable little guy that they are in the process of adopting from South Korea.  Necia saw his profile one night online and says that she knew right away that he was her son.  And now, two years into the process, it is almost time to bring Isaac home.  Here is a video telling their story.

They are waiting on a court date and are raising the money necessary to complete the adoption and travel to Seoul to get their boy.  You can follow their story on Necia's blog.

If you are so inclined, you may donate here.  Even if you can't donate, they will for sure take all the prayers that they can get, and those are free to give!

Time for some Q&A....

That's right, friends, I'm going to do a blog or two answering YOUR questions next week.  You can ask about anything.....traveling, 30 by 30 list, the new house/job/guy, growing up on a farm, running....up to you!  So, leave your questions as a comment below.

And HAPPY SATURDAY!!

Friday Letters

It's been a while since I joined in the fun of some Friday letters.  SO here we go!

Dear next Friday:  Please hurry your booty up and get here.  Ft. Worth.  Dancing.  Eating.  Drinking. Shopping.  Ranger's game.  Double date with Blonde Oklahoma Girl and her boyfriend.  It's just cruel to make me wait 7 more days!

Safety first when we're together...

Dear hair:  Brace yourself.  You're going to have to be cut this weekend.  By someone other than Mrs. Texas.  Because we moved 12 hours away from her.  I know, I'm not happy either.

Me, and my hair, miss this girl!

Dear Hilarious List of Signs You Are Turning 30:  Read it here.  I nodded my head at just about every single one of your items.  Friends posting about marathons and babies instead of parties?  Check.  Two day hang over and leaving a bar that is too darn loud?  Check and check.  Excited about low interest rates?  Check again.

Dear William Clark Green:  I used to think this song was mean.  Until I listened closely to the last line.  I now think it is adorable and have listened to it on repeat all week.

Dear Blog Readers:  Here goes a shameless plug.  Remember how I recently took a new job?  Well, part of that job involves me having an agricultural law blog.  I would love for you all to check it out and subscribe if you want to!  (No, really, I get props for the number of hits and subscriptions...so help a girl out!)  Here's the link.

Beautiful...

Another Wedding, Another Speech

Yes, ANOTHER wedding.  I know you guys must think I am going to run out of friends to get married one day, but that day hasn't happened yet!  As you recall, I gave a MOH speech at College Roomie's wedding earlier this summer (which you can watch a video of here).  So my speech at Cousin Whitney's wedding was speech number two for the year.   And for the girl who had sadly given more eulogies than wedding speeches, it was a welcome change in my book!  So, here were my words of wisdom for the happy couple.

When I was 9 months old, I got a red-headed cousin.  In the last 28 years, that cousin has turned into my travel partner and one of my closest friends. 

Whether it was eating at Tavern on the Green in New York City, biking across the Golden Gate Bridge, riding a train through the Swiss Alps, snorkeling on a cruise in Mexico, or wondering home at 1 in the morning in Rome, Whitney and I always have a blast when we're together.

 All these trips have taught me a few things about Miss Whitney.  I thought I would share a couple pieces of advice with Nathan tonight.

First, do not ever make her trip and fall down.  There may have been an incident on a ski trip where Denton cut her off, causing her to fall down, which then proceeded into her screaming a choice cuss word, which I cannot repeat in church, and trying to stab him with her poles.  Keep her on her feet and you'll be okay.

Second, when you tell Whitney to do something, she'll do it, so be careful.  When our dads were teaching us to water ski, they made a big deal about how you don't let go of the rope.  Which was good advice.  Until Whitney fell.  And kept on holding on to that rope.  And almost drowned in Ute Lake.  When you give her instructions, be sure you mean them.

Third, she does not deal well with motion sickness.  Fortunately for Nathan, I have broken her into this.  She has dealt with me throwing up in multiple states and two continents.  My best advice for you is to always carry an airplane barf bag with you in the car.  I took care of getting a couple ofr Nathan to take on the honeymoon to help you avoid any issues.  *Here I walked over and handed him three barf bags.  Classy.*

Fourth,  listen to what she tells you.  She doesn't talk much, but when she does, she means it.  I learned this when about halfway up the steps to get to the top of St. Peter's Bascilica in Rome she said that she was hot and needed something to drink.  I agreed it was hot and I was thirsty and kept on climbing.  Once we got to the top, Whitney blacked out on me and was white as a ghost.  I thought I was going to have to carry her down.  Oh, on a related note, cold water and lasagna seem to be the cure if she ever does get faint on you.

Fifth,  Whitney does not like getting her nice shoes dirty.  When we were kids, Whitney hardly talked at all.  I had never heard her yell at anyone in my life.  One Friday they came up to the house and we were working cattle.  Someone left a gate open and my Dad yelled at her to close the gate.  She did not answer him and he yelled at her again.  Then little, meek, mild mannered Whitney stood up on the gate, and screamed, at the top of her lungs, "I'm wearing my school shoes!!"  We all looked around with our mouths wide open.  My dad looked sort of shocked, said, "Well, okay then" and we just let the cows go right on out the gate.  So be careful where you try to get her to step!

Despite my advice, I'm not too worried about Nathan.  I think he will be able to hold his own.  I knew he was a tough guy when he Family Ski Trip--both the summer and winter version--in the same year.  For those of you who have not been on the ski trip, that's really saying something!

So in closing, Whitney, I'm so glad that God made us cousins.  I'm even more glad that you have become one of my best friends.  And Nathan, if Whitney is half as good of a wife to you as she's been a cousin to me, you're a very lucky guy.  To Nathan and Whitney.

30 by 30 List: Month 8

Well another month has come and gone.  I can't believe how quickly this year is going by!  Let's check out the 30 by 30 list progress made this month.  To see the full list, click here.

1.  Cook 10 new recipes (18/10 completed).

This month I added a couple more recipes to my list.

First up, summer squash casserole.  I love me some squash casserole, and this recipe is super quick, super easy, and relatively healthy for something that has cheese in it!  I'd highly recommend it.

Next, I tried this recipe for brown sugar garlic baked chicken.  It looked so good in the picture.  Mine did NOT turn out that way.  It was edible, but not great.  I don't know what I did wrong.  Fail.

Then, I whipped up some oven roasted cauliflower.  Y'all.  It was SO good!  Seriously, amazing.  The only thing I did different than the recipe was to use fresh lime juice instead of lemon because, well, I had a lime in my fridge to put in Seven and Sevens and I didn't have any lemon juice.  That's how I cook around here.  But it made no difference, it still tasted great.  This is going into the regular rotation for sure!

7.  Read 24 more books (11/24 completed).

Until I Say Goodbye by Susan Spencer-Wendel

This book was written by a woman who was dying of Lou Gehrig's disease.  She took the last year of her life and focused on really living, on making memories with the people who mattered most to her.  It's beautiful.  And heartbreaking.

As many of you know, Mr. Franklin also died of ALS.  And although I spent a lot of time with him while he was sick, and we had a lot of conversations during that time, we never talked about the disease or about him dying.  We both knew it was happening, but we just didn't talk about it.  I felt a little like reading this book gave me some insight on what he must have been thinking during some of our conversations, and what he was feeling during his last months.  Her stories of sitting in her back yards where he kids would come give her a hug when she could no longer hug them took me right back to Mr. Franklin's living room where I would kiss him on the cheek before I left for home after he could no longer lift his arms to hug me.  It was hard to read, but I think it was a little bit cathartic for me.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

Don't search for answers.  Live the question.  Enjoy life more because of the uncertainty.  Not less.

I have no idea the odds of being stuck by lightning.  Or the odds that I would be struck with ALS.  It doesn't matter.  It can happen to anyone.  Lightning strikes in the middle of paradise.  ALS cuts down a famous baseball player, an older man, a son, a daughter, a mother, in the prime of life.

Don't miss the old.  Embrace the new.

We live in the people we leave behind.

What do I do in such bright-line moments, where my handicap whomps me over the head?  Dwell in what there remains to be grateful for.  My hands are snarled, but I can still touch.  I cannot hold, but I can feel.  I have my connection to the world, which ALS will never take away.

Appreciate the life that comes.  Work and strive , but accept.  Don't force the world to be the one you dream.  The reality is better.

Fearing the possible is no way to live.

I will not return to my children, at least not in the flesh.  But I will, I hope, in spirit.  In the things they see and feel.  In the memories we made.  Look for me in your heart, my children.  Sense me there, and smile.  

8.  Send little gifts to my friends once a month.

So this month I owed a couple of guys some baked goods.  Problem is that they live way far away.  Pinterest to the rescue.....I found this recipe for muffins in a jar and this recipe for apple pies in a jar.  Looked like something I could probably do.

For the muffins, I whipped up a packaged mix (just had to add milk!), sprayed the jar with Pam, scooped mix in, and baked.  Easy peasy.

For the pies, I loosely (and by loosely I mean I didn't really) followed the recipe.  I sprayed the jar, but crust, put apple pie filling, then put a sprinkle of cinnamon, nutmeg, a drop of vanilla, and a little butter.  Then I repeated that again.  I then cut strips of crust and put them on the top sort of in a criss-cross pattern.  Viola!

I hate to put words in their mouths, but I think that it's safe to say that The Boy from Texas and The Godfather were happy when they found these in their mailboxes.

9.  Eat in 10 new restaurants  (14/10 completed).

Fuego.  Dang BFF and Mrs. BFF took me here and now my waistline is not thanking them for it.  This place has killer tacos and even better queso.  SO yummy!

On the taco front, I am now equally obsessed with this restaurant here in town called La Bodega, which has the best steak taco that I have ever eaten.  I've been twice.  In a week.  And another time last week.  Three times, two weeks.  I may have a problem.

Lastly, we have Grub Burger Bar, which is a popular burger joint in College Station.  SO good.  I had a burger with some sort of chipotle sauce and guacamole.  It was amazing. Word is they have great milk shakes as well.  Come visit and I'll take ya!

13.  Create a gallery wall.

You guys already saw these and read about them in my House Tour blog.  I'm also working on one at work in my office, so I hope to have photos of that next month!

19.  Take my quilts to a quilter (1/2 complete).

My John Deere quilt that College Roomie's sweet mama made for me when I graduated from OSU has finally been delivered to a quilter and the quilting process is underway!  I cannot wait to see the finished product!

Sister Lisa and me with the quilter extraordinaire!

That just leaves a small t-shirt quilt (really I don't need a big quilt, more like a throw blanket) that I need to find someone to piece for me and then have quilted.  Any suggestions??

29.  Buy myself flowers once a month (8/12 completed).

I found my very favorite flowers--peonies--for super cheap at the local grocery store here, so you know that I jumped on buying those!  Even better, I was bummed that The Boy from Texas was leaving to go back home after coming to see me for the weekend, so I needed these to help cheer me up.  Even more reason I had to buy them.

When Little Cowboy Met The Boy From Texas

“If someone's life is not enriched by their time with you, then you're not doing something right.”  ~ Osayi Osar-Emokpae

Be honest, how many of you got ridiculously excited when you read the title of this blog?

That's right kids, two of our favorite blog characters met in real life last week at Cousin Whitney's wedding.  Here are a couple of exchanges between Little Cowboy and The Boy from Texas.

Little Cowboy and the bride.

Little Cowboy to Cousin Gramps:  Did you know Tiff is dating The Boy From Texas?
Cousin Gramps:  Yes, I knew that.
Little Cowboy:  WELL NOBODY TOLD ME!!  *Stomps off with his arms crossed.*

Me and Little Cowboy hunting bad guys at the family gathering.

Little Cowboy to the Boy from Texas:  You're big enough to flank any of the calves we branded today.
The Boy From Texas:  You calling me fat?
Little Cowboy:  Nope.  I'm just saying you would have been the biggest one there.

Funny faces.

Me to The Boy from Texas:  Here, eat this cake, I can't eat anymore without getting fat.
Little Cowboy:  You calling him fat?
Me:  No, I didn't call him fat.
Little Cowboy:  Good.

Little Cowboy sitting with me and The Boy from Texas at
the wedding party table.

Little Cowboy to The Boy From Texas *Looking straight up at him with his hands on his hips.*:  If you're dating Tiff, I am not going to be your friend.

Little Cowboy to The Boy from Texas (about an hour later):  I'm sorry for that mean thing I said.  I didn't mean it.  We can still be friends.

More funny faces.

Little Cowboy to The Boy from Texas:  Tiff says I'm a better dancer than you.

Little Cowboy to me:  You can date The Boy From Texas.  So long as you don't get stinkin' married.

Me and The Boy from Texas (photo by Little Cowboy)

For those of you who feel bad for Little Cowboy, or who are worried that he might be heartbroken, don't worry.  This last comment will tell you how quickly he moved on.

Little Cowboy:  Tiff, I have a secret to tell you, but you can't tell anyone else.
Me: Okay, buddy.
Little Cowboy:  I have a crush on Haley.

The new crush.

Me, Little Cowboy, and his new crush