Thoughts from an Outsider #4: No One Cares About The Flowers At The End of the Pew

"I live every day to its fullest extent and I don't sweat the small stuff."  ~Olivia Newton John

I'm a pretty experienced bridesmaid.  I know how to sit so as not to mess up my hair during the 5 hours between the salon and the ceremony.  I've learned how to hold a puffy white dress so the bride can use the bathroom, build those little round lantern things, and to babysit annoying relatives to keep people's sanity.  I've donned long dresses, short dresses, ball gowns and tea length skirts.  I can handle major crises like talking the bride out of a freakout the night before the wedding over having to change her last name, or playing it cool when the bride got bucked off of the horse that she was supposed to ride up to the ceremony, or chasing down the limo driver in the middle of the street when the rings were accidentally left in the back seat.  (Yes, those all really happened.)  I've also been a wedding photographer, videographer and I'm a master guest book girl.

All this to say, I know a thing or two about weddings.  Given that it's wedding season around here, I thought I'd share my #1 thought (obviously from this single outsider) today:  No one cares about the flowers at the end of the pew.

Here's the deal.  My point is not really about the flowers at the end of the pew, but what they represent:  the tiny details.  The lace doilies on the reception tables.  The hand-drawn place cards that take 15 hours to do.  The particular shade of off white ribbon on the bridesmaids' bouquets.  No.  One.  Cares. 

Not only to people not care about the flowers at the end of the pew, but those dang things are what is going to cause all of the stress and fighting on the wedding day. Guaranteed. Want a fight between the bride and her mother the wedding day? Bridesmaids grouchy, sweaty and exhausted before noon? Wedding coordinator almost in tears? Have a bunch of little details to deal with.  And the worst part, all that stress is for no good reason.

"That was such a fun wedding because of the beautiful flowers on the end of the pew," said No One.  Ever.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that the bride wants the day to be perfect down the the little details.  But that's not what people are going to remember.  Weddings are fun because of the adorable vows or the great music during the ceremony or (and mostly) because of the super fun reception.  If you want people to remember your wedding, get a great band or a dj that gets everyone out on the dance floor having a blast.  That's what people remember.  That's what makes a great wedding.

In the end, it's all about the happy couple (and pretty much just the bride) and what they want.  If you want flowers on the end of the pew and that makes you happy, go for it.  But if you don't, forget it, put on your dancing shoes and have a killer reception.  And remember, at the end of the day, you're married, flowers at the end of the pew or not. 

Of course, what do I know?  I'm 28, single and working on a closet to rival that chick in 27 dresses.  Take it or leave it.

*Linking up with Miscelleny Monday and Cup Half Full!