Family Farm Friday #1: What I Learned

"Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life." ~Sophia Loren

I recently came across a great article written by a girl who grew up on a cattle ranch. She discussed some of the lessons she learned....things like "Know how to work the calf jack blindfolded with no hands for a 3 a.m. calf-pulling," "Be able to work the broken head catch on a Powder River chute" and "Don't take an hour lunch break when you're cutting hay, ever." You're preaching to the choir, sister!

It made me think of some of the funnier lessons I've learned growing up on a farm. Thought I'd share a few.

• When a ram backs up and starts licking his lips, you better get out of the pen. Like fast.
  
• Never climb on a gate.
  
• When your dad yells stop the sheep, he means leap 6 foot tall metal fences, summersault underneath the stuck gate or figure out a way to be two places at once, however you do it, stop the sheep!
  
• No whipping hurts worse than one with a pair of roping reins.
  
• The laser listers that allegedly can't cut you, can cut you if you try really hard.
  
• Don't tie your horse up to your grandma's air conditioner stand. Those things are flimsier than you think and the airconditioner will fall out the window if pulled.
  
• When loading something in a trailer, if you EVER think to yourself, "ah, they won't go through that tiny space," trust me, they will.
  
• No matter how hard you try, or how many different types of tags you put in, you will always have a "no tag" cow or ewe when it comes time for tagging their baby.
  
• Swimming in the irrigation ditch is fun, until you unset tubes your dad just finished.
  
• No matter how hard you try, you can't put hair back on a show animal after you slip with the clippers.
  
• If someone flips a 4-wheeler and has a hard time catching their breath, beating him on the back is apparently not helpful.
  
• Never leave your papers with your sheep records on them where they are close to reaching distance of a ewe's mouth.
  
• When you're doing anything remotely dangerous, specifically riding a 4 wheeler at high rates of speed, standing up on the saddle of a horse you're riding, or driving a pickup when you're 4 years old, be sure it's not in front of the picture windows.
  
• Things you think are normal (i.e. manure on your shoes, talking about buying semen, having ringworm on your arms and legs come October) aren't so normal to other people. Nor do they seem to find them funny, for that matter.