Happy Birthday and Wedding Week to Blonde Oklahoma Girl!

It's a big week for this little lady....

Today she turns the BIG 3-0 and on Saturday she ties the knot.  Phew!  I'm tired just thinking about it.

In a lot of ways, she and I are nothing alike.  She's all girl.  She loves make up and pink and big hair.  She was in a sorority, wears leopard print clothing, and watches all the angry women on Bravo.  She selects March Madness brackets by team color and mascot, for crying out loud.

But you know, we've been through it all together.  Good times, the worst times, great trips, fun football games, wild nights, broken hearts, new jobs, finding our future husbands.....I couldn't have imagined doing any of that without her by my side.

So excited to stand up with her this weekend when she says I do and eat a cupcake in her honor today!

Engagement Photos

Um.....our wedding date is exactly two months from today.  That's 60 days people.  Woo hoo!!

Anyway, I digress.  A couple of weeks ago, my sweet friend, Ag Teacher, was kind enough to volunteer to take some engagement photos for me and The Boy from Texas. 

I'm not going to lie....things did not start off well.  Lest you think from this blog that wedding planning (or life, actually) is all rainbows and cupcakes over here.....not the case.  The Boy from Texas and I had a pretty good argument the morning of the engagement pictures.  The cleaners messed up his pants.  He threw them on the floor. I got offended and pouty.  We tried to take a few photos at the lake (actually some turned out pretty well) and then gave up.  We ate breakfast and then decided to do Take 2 at my parents ranch.  I cried most of the way there.  Then we both agreed to suck it up and try to enjoy the experience.

Well, I think it worked.  Because I'm seriously IN LOVE with these pictures.  I mean, honestly.  They just couldn't have been better.  So grateful for Ag Teacher and her patience and her photography skills!

Now....important part....we want to know your favorite photo!  We're going to use some of these at our wedding and we're going to get one or two made into canvases to hang in our house.  So, please vote now!

Photo 1

Gonna be hard to convince me this is not my favorite

 Photo 2

I really like this one, even better than the actual kissing one.

 Photo 3

At first I wasn't sure, but it's grown on me.

 Photo 4

I love this one because he is smiling. :)

 Photo 5

Sigh.  Anyone remember this letter to Mr. Right?  Photo proof it came true!
And it was worth the wait!

 Photo 6

It's possible we were not saying nice things to each other here...

 Photo 7

I really like this one as well with the log fence.

 Photo 8

Love the angle of this one and my cute shoes.

 Photo 9

Another potential fav of mine.  I seriously love everything about it.

 Photo 10

It's been years since we've had a milo field looking like that for pictures....
Talk about good timing!

 Photo 11

I love that boy. I love the horse.  This picture makes my heart happy.

 Photo 12

This is one of the photographer's favorites!

 Photo 13

I am in love.  Lou (the horse) is a photo bomber.  He appears to think,
"I don't know what you two are doing, but I'm posing here!"

 Photo 14

I've never been a huge fan of kissy pictures, but this one in the milo with
his big hat I enjoy.

 Photo 15

I like this one with the water in it.  A creek?  No.  Irrigation water. :)

Photo 16 

Walking off into the sunset, herding the cows, holding hands.  What's not to love?

Vote for your favorite now!

The Most Beautiful Wedding

ND Friend did it.  She and Tiny Dancer had the most beautiful wedding that could ever be a month ago in Chicago.

I've tried several times to sit down and write this blog.  But words just don't do it justice.  Even the pictures--and there are some stunningly beautiful ones--don't do it justice.  Seeing their two sweet families celebrate with them.  Hearing their cousins sing Ave Maria from the balcony.  Watching these two smiling non-stop for hours (seriously....their faces must have been sore the next day). There was something there, in that Cathedral, that you could just feel.  Love.  Faith.  Joy.  Happiness.  It was palpable.  As it should have been for two of the absolute best people I know.

So instead of making an inadequate attempt at describing it, I am going to let the photos do the talking.  And I am going to hope that one day you are able to experience something like this. Because it really was just remarkable.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

Me meeting Fr. Robert Barron

Photo by Jolene Broad Photography

Photo by Jolene Broad Photography

 

 

Oh, one more thing.  You have to see the Matron of Honor speech by sweet Super Mom.  It was the best I've ever heard.  Click here (to read the words she spoke) and here to see the video that followed.  Both are at the bottom of the respective blog links.  Oh, and pretend to be surprised when you hear that same amazing song played during communion at our wedding in October.

Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 8): The Finale

“But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. I think love is fearless." ~Taylor Swift

Here we are, eight posts later with our final piece of advice. I actually kind of hate for this series to end--I have been loving all of your comments about our little pieces of advice.  Thank you all for your kind words!

GO TO COSTA RICA.

Tiffany Says:

I really do feel like that trip to Costa Rica was life changing for both Blonde Oklahoma Girl and myself.  I think that we were both maybe feeling a bit stuck, a bit unsettled as she described it earlier.  And there was something about being there that helped us be brave enough to make a change, to have confidence that we could do bigger things, and to force us to follow our dreams, which did eventually lead to our future husbands.

Obviously, it's not about Costa Rica.  It's about doing something that you thought impossible.  Something scary and hard and unpredictable.  It's about finding something--be that white water rafting or running a marathon or telling someone how you feel--that scares the crap out of you and do it.  Put yourself out there....at work, in relationships, in life.  Fate favors the fearless.  Just go.

But for real though, think about Costa Rica.  There is something in the water there...

See?  Fear.  Does a body good.

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:

It's in the waters....sit in a hot spring pool, frolic in the most gorgeous waterfall with the iciest, coldest water that you will ever experience, strap on that helmet and brave the class four white water rapids, zipline in the jungle, tarzan swing over the jungle, screa at the top of your lungs while doing said tarzan swing, spend a day on the beach discussing life with one of your best friends, followed by a very, very bad sunburn, parasail by yourself over the ocean....  Book a trip to Costa Rica for no other reason but..."Why not?"

The Family Unit - Costa Rica - 2012

Advice to the Single Ladies (Part 7): It Will Happen When....

"Don't confuse the wait for an answer from God with no answer from God.  Wait patiently on Him--He answers you when He knows the time is right." ~Elmer Laydon

  

Tiffany Says:  "It will happen when you realize that it might not and are okay with that possibility."

I swear to you, if one more freaking person had told me, "It will happen when you aren't looking!" I would have punched them in the face.  No, seriously, I would get violently angry upon hearing that.  How, exactly, should I not look?  Lock myself in my house, never see people of the opposite sex, and trust that God will drop someone in my lap?  That advice is stupid. 

I think that every single girl questions whether she will get married, whether there is someone out there for her, or if she will be the one spending every holiday alone and always sitting at the kids table at weddings. 

People try to help by saying things like, "There's someone for everyone."  I never found that helpful.  Mostly because I know great people who never got married, never found love.  Oh, and the Bible actually says that some people are called to be single, so there's some pretty good authority against this theory. Clearly, then, there is not someone for everyone.  Ergo, that advice is stupid too.

What I can tell you, at least for me, is that it happened once I had come to the realization that it might not.  And, I came to the conclusion that I was okay with the fact I might not get married.  I realized that even if I was not someone called to marry, my life would be okay.  Not only okay, my life would be great.  I would be the super fun aunt who would flitter in and out with fun gifts and way too much sugar.  I would travel the world.  I might buy myself those Jimmy Choo's instead of starting up a college fund for future children.  I distinctly remember the day that I understood whatever God's calling was for me, I would accept it, embrace it, and enjoy it.

And low and behold, a couple months later, The Boy from Texas asked me on our first date.  And then in June, well, you know the story.

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:  "It will happen when you least expect it."

I know, I know, I know. What single girl wants to hear those words? “Oh, honey…don’t worry, it will happen when you least expect it!” Yes, I heard that a many times and each time I heard that I wanted to straight punch the person in the face.

However….it really does happen when you least expect it. I know, I know…you now want to punch me in the face? I get it. I really do.

When you are single, and looking by the way…because let’s face it…when are you really not looking….it’s hard to hear that. So…here’s the thing. When you are happy and focused on you, and are making you a better person…then you have room in your life and you ready to meet someone, because now you are ready to share your life with someone….and that usually happens when you least expect it. Why? Because you are busy being you…and the best you for that matter.

So, when you are in a new town and it’s Thanksgiving weekend and you have nothing to do, you go to a calf-roping. Why a calf-roping? Who knows…probably because there isn’t anything else to do in your new town. You then run into a friend you knew from college and it’s totally random because you haven’t seen her since college graduation, like six years ago. You go have dinner, you meet the next night. Except this time, a boy shows up. You talk to that boy, tell him you should be friends…because you know no one in this new town. Boy calls you that night, boy calls you the next morning…asks you on a date. You go on said date…and every day since then you have been with that boy. Boy asks you to marry him in a horse drawn carriage, the “Will you Marry Me, Lyndse T” is in Christmas lights. You say I do on August 30, 2014. And live Happily Ever After.

Moral of the story…go to a Calf-Roping. :)  Just kidding…but it could happen at Wal-Mart.  Or on a random football weekend, where you meet a guy and then a few months later go on a date with a guy and then plan on getting married October 25, 2014!

Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 6): Someone Else Finding a Husband Doesn't Somehow Lessen Your Chances

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”   ~Epicurus

SOMEONE ELSE FINDING A HUSBAND DOESN'T SOMEHOW LESSEN YOUR CHANCES

Tiffany Says:

I'm not gonna lie here, it is hard to see people getting what you want while you are not.  That's just the fact of it.  There were times where I thought I might poke my eye out if I had to go to another wedding and celebrate love and marriage and then leave completely alone.  There were times when I didn't even want to go to church because I couldn't stand to sit behind some happy couple with his arm around her shoulders.  I'm not saying it's easy. 

But here's the deal, there is no sort of marriage or happiness quota.  The fact that another girl gets a ring and walks down the aisle does not somehow lessen your chances at happiness with the person who is right for you.  (I'm sure that you Sheldon's in the group are thinking about how there would be some statistical reason that mathematically that is not correct, but just hush and sing Soft Kitty in the corner).

I know that for me (and for several of my single friends), this was a struggle.  It is easy to be bitter and negative and jealous.  But I really do think that it is so important to fight against that.  To find it inside of yourself to be happy for the other person and content enough with where you are to show that happiness. 

For me, I was able to combat this with gratefulness.  When I would feel whiny and left out and like everyone was taking all the happy from the universe, I made myself be grateful for what I have been given.  A life.  Health.  A great family.  Awesome friends.  Amazing opportunities.  It's hard to feel jealous when you are too busy feeling grateful.

Benefit of your friends getting married:  tons of bridesmaid dresses in a closet.

Lyndse Says:


Tiffany hit the nail on the head with this one….I don’t have much to add.

I will admit at being jealous when other friends would get a ring on their finger before me…hell, I was still over here just looking for someone to want to put a ring on my finger. Yes, I was jealous but an even bigger YES, was pure happiness for that person. They found their lobster (because every episode in Friends can relate to everything in life) and everyone deserves to find their Lobster.  Like Tiff says, you can’t let the fact you are alone at events where your singleness is put in your dang face…get you down. Shake off the singleness and relish in the fact that you are a healthy, stable working adult, who has great friends and family and is loving life.

Just Too Much Sadness

**Tomorrow we will continue with the Advice for the Single Ladies series, but today, my heart is too heavy.**

"Where is God in all this?  Oh, he's up there.  Somewhere...shouting down that He loves us. Wondering why we can't hear him."  ~What Dreams May Come

Sometimes it feels as though there is just too much sadness in the world. Christians being beheaded in Iraq. Planes being shot out of the sky in Ukraine. Children slaughtered on a daily basis in Gaza. And now, closer to home, a beautiful teenage girl--one who reminded me so much of myself 13 years ago--has taken her own life.

Each of these senseless tragedies have made me acutely aware that we live in a fallen world.  A horrible, depressing, fallen world.  One in which answers may never come.

I do not know why. I wish the world were different. I wish people loved one another better and understood God's love for them and for others more.  I wish we lived in a place of peace and harmony and understanding.  But we do not.

Yet, we still have hope. Because this world is not the end of the story. God has promised us that. We are journeying toward paradise, where this pain and hatred do not exist.  Until then, we are left to make the fallen world a little better by our being here.

So maybe all we can do is hope faithfully and love fiercely and pray that God will use us for his glory.

Please pray for all of those suffering. And especially for the soul of sweet Clare and for all of those who loved her. May she and all the departed rest in peace.

Advice to the Single Ladies (Part 5): Don't Make Out With Random People

"If it's not making you better, it isn't love.  True love makes you more of who you are, not less."  ~Mandy Hale

DON'T MAKE OUT WITH RANDOM PEOPLE

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:

Don't make out with random people.  I know being a single girl, you can go out and meet a cute boy and make out.  And we are talking just kissing here people!  Just because you can...doesn't mean you should.  That is all.

It's better to kiss the right person than a random person.

Tiffany Says: 

I didn't really have a tendency to make out with random people (just un-random ones), so I'm going to take a bit of a different spin on this one.  I'm a bit of a prude, obviously, but hang with me.  At some point during my teenage years, someone gave me the following advice that always stuck with me.  Sadly, I don't remember who said it or when, so if it was you, let me know and I'll give you credit for your genius!

It's hard to ever go back to just holding hands.

Physical relationships always move forward, it's next to impossible to bring them backwards.  I think this is an important to point to remember, especially when you are first getting started in a relationship.  It's easy to jump in too fast and then not be in a place where you can put the car in reverse.  Draw boundaries that you are comfortable with and stick to them as long as you need to.  And don't feel as though you have to apologize for that. 

All I know is that I'm glad to have heard that when I was younger, and glad now that I listened!

Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 4): Don't Wait to Live Your Life

"If you know you have to wait anyway, why not make a decision to enjoy your life while you’re waiting? Why not be happy while God is in the process of changing things? After all, there’s nothing we can really do to make it happen any faster. We might as well relax and enjoy our lives, knowing that at the appointed time God is going to bring his plan to pass.” ~Joel Osteen

DON'T WAIT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE

When we started making our list of points, this was easily the one that we both felt the most strongly about.  Prepare for soapboxes.

Tiffany Says:

Our society somehow has implanted this idea in our heads that life doesn't really being until you are married.  Sure, you're breathing and hopefully a somewhat functional member of society, but you  must spend all of your time just waiting for Prince Charming to show up with a shiny ring and a perfect kiss so that you can buy a white dress get a Kitchenaid mixer and live happily ever after.  And you just do whatever you have to in order to make it to that magic time when live begins.

That's bullshit.  (Sorry for the language Bible Belt moms!)

Your life is right now.  Right this minute.  And whether or not there is a piece of jewelry on your left hand changes nothing.  You have to live, sister.  Because you won't get this time back.

You are not less because you are single.  You are not incomplete or insignificant or unimportant.  You're just not.  So please, please, don't let yourself buy into that.  You are enough.  Period.

I had a policy for several years.  If there was anything that I thought, "I can't wait to be married so I can do _____" I did it.  Right  then.  It all started with picture Christmas cards.  I love Christmas, I love mail, and it is so fun to get everyone's photo cards in the mail.  I couldn't wait to be married and send one out.  So I didn't.  I started sending out my very own card about 5 years ago.  I know it's just a piece of paper, but for me, it was so much more than that.

My twenties have been absolutely amazing.  And as excited as I am to become Mrs. The Boy from Texas, there are things that I am going to miss about the single chapter.  These are the perfect years for you to travel.  Go to Bible Study.  Run a half marathon.  Sprawl out and sleep on the whole bed.  Read a book.  Take a cooking class.  Go on girls trips.  Find a hobby.  Really focus on your career.  

I'm a firm believer that when you use the single years to really figure out who you are and what is important to you, you'll be all the more ready when the right guy comes along.  Not because you've finally waited long enough, but because you've become the right girl. 

Livin life with no rings on our fingers in Costa Rica - 2012

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:

Appreciate your experiences while single. This was probably my favorite part about being single. Yes, I would look at my coupled up friends and just married friends and just had a baby friends and get EXTREMELY jealous that they were getting to do all things I so badly wanted to do and it would make me yearn for the day that I can do all that.  However, I was jet-setting to San Fran, Napa, Costa Rica, ski trips, random weekend girls trips, splurging on ridiculously expensive purses and going out whenever I wanted, doing whatever it is that I wanted, meeting new people, having the time of my life…

I grew as a person, I learned what it is I wanted in a husband, what I wanted to be in a wife...all of these experiences made me into the almost 30 year old married woman I am today. For that, I wouldn’t trade it for anything…well, except for some of those random make outs…there are a few of those I would trade.  But the memories I made…those are priceless.

Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 3): If He's Into You, You Will Know

"If he misses you, he'll call.  If he wants you, he'll say it.  If he cares , he'll show it.  And if not, he can't be worth your time because you're obviously not worth his."  ~Rules of a Lady

IF HE'S INTO YOU, YOU'LL KNOW.

Tiffany Says:

Yea yea yea, this is from the "He's Just Not That Into You" craze.  I know.  But I read the book twice and saw the movie and didn't really get it apparently.

I cannot tell you how many hours of my life I wasted wondering if a guy liked me. I would fret and analyze and try to determine if the fact that he touched my arm or the fact that he called me every day for a week or the fact that he wore a green shirt meant that he secretly possessed an undying love for me and would one day be down on one knee before me in all it glory.  I felt like I had shown up for a basketball game wearing a gymnastic leotard, football helmet, and carrying a golf club--like it was game for which I didn't get the rules.

What I can tell you is that with The Boy from Texas, I never questioned it.  Not one single time.  He made clear to me from the beginning that he was interested in me both in what he said and what he did.  For the first time, it didn't feel like there was some secret play book that I couldn't figure out.

From the beginning The Boy from Texas told me how he felt.  This rough and tough country guy would tell me how much he missed me and how he wanted to see me.  Later on he frequently told me he loved me and wanted to marry me.  And, importantly, he did the same thing even around other people.  He would say sweet things about me to our friends, hold my hand while we were hanging out with them, etc.  There were no secrets, no games, and no lies with this one.

What they say does matter, but (especially if you are from the south and are dealing with a sweet-talking Texan), you need to pay attention to what they do as well.  If you've read our first date story, you know that he sort of invited himself to come with me and my parents to a Friends of the NRA banquet, not because he thought that was an ideal first date, but because he wanted to see me.  A couple of weeks later, he showed up to help at my family's lamb sale, even though I told him it would be too stressful and he should probably stay away. 

So if you are sitting around analyzing every word he says or every hand gesture he makes trying to convince yourself it's a sign, move on.  There's something better down the road.  Once you find it, you'll never doubt it.

Willingness to take photos with his arm around you = good sign.

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:

I agree with Tiff, if he's into you...you will know.  I don't know how many late night analyzing sessions or freaked out phone calls of, "He did this, what do you think that means?" that Tiff and I had throughout the years.  We would spend HOURS upon HOURS analyzing. 

When it came to Connor, I was confident he was into me the entire time.  I never questioned anything.  It was such an odd feeling to have...in a good way.  A feeling that I had never felt before.  One in which I knew I didn't need to analyze or worry about anything like that. 

About a month into dating him, I found out about something Connor did when he first met me that made my heart so incredibly happy.  When we first met, he called me that night to make sure I had made it home okay.  We talked for a few hours during that conversation and he told me had had spent Thanksgiving with another girl and that he was going to go see her the next day.  I thought to myself, "Ok, so I guess he just wants to be friends because he is telling me about this other girl."  I give him a hard time about this now, and he says he doesn't remember saying anything about her.  Haha!  Anyway, I found out a month later that instead of seeing the other girl the next day, Connor called her and told her he did not feel right continuing to see her, he did not want to lead her on in any way, and that he had found someone that he believed to be the true deal.

How sweet is that?  I mean, not for the other girl, but for the fact that he didn't lead her or me on.  He knew what he wanted and didn't play games with her heart or mine.  Let me tell you, I have been the girl on the other end of that conversation....except I never received a phone call....I was just dropped. 

Actions like that are how you know you've found a good one. :)