Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 3): If He's Into You, You Will Know

"If he misses you, he'll call.  If he wants you, he'll say it.  If he cares , he'll show it.  And if not, he can't be worth your time because you're obviously not worth his."  ~Rules of a Lady

IF HE'S INTO YOU, YOU'LL KNOW.

Tiffany Says:

Yea yea yea, this is from the "He's Just Not That Into You" craze.  I know.  But I read the book twice and saw the movie and didn't really get it apparently.

I cannot tell you how many hours of my life I wasted wondering if a guy liked me. I would fret and analyze and try to determine if the fact that he touched my arm or the fact that he called me every day for a week or the fact that he wore a green shirt meant that he secretly possessed an undying love for me and would one day be down on one knee before me in all it glory.  I felt like I had shown up for a basketball game wearing a gymnastic leotard, football helmet, and carrying a golf club--like it was game for which I didn't get the rules.

What I can tell you is that with The Boy from Texas, I never questioned it.  Not one single time.  He made clear to me from the beginning that he was interested in me both in what he said and what he did.  For the first time, it didn't feel like there was some secret play book that I couldn't figure out.

From the beginning The Boy from Texas told me how he felt.  This rough and tough country guy would tell me how much he missed me and how he wanted to see me.  Later on he frequently told me he loved me and wanted to marry me.  And, importantly, he did the same thing even around other people.  He would say sweet things about me to our friends, hold my hand while we were hanging out with them, etc.  There were no secrets, no games, and no lies with this one.

What they say does matter, but (especially if you are from the south and are dealing with a sweet-talking Texan), you need to pay attention to what they do as well.  If you've read our first date story, you know that he sort of invited himself to come with me and my parents to a Friends of the NRA banquet, not because he thought that was an ideal first date, but because he wanted to see me.  A couple of weeks later, he showed up to help at my family's lamb sale, even though I told him it would be too stressful and he should probably stay away. 

So if you are sitting around analyzing every word he says or every hand gesture he makes trying to convince yourself it's a sign, move on.  There's something better down the road.  Once you find it, you'll never doubt it.

Willingness to take photos with his arm around you = good sign.

Blonde Oklahoma Girl Says:

I agree with Tiff, if he's into you...you will know.  I don't know how many late night analyzing sessions or freaked out phone calls of, "He did this, what do you think that means?" that Tiff and I had throughout the years.  We would spend HOURS upon HOURS analyzing. 

When it came to Connor, I was confident he was into me the entire time.  I never questioned anything.  It was such an odd feeling to have...in a good way.  A feeling that I had never felt before.  One in which I knew I didn't need to analyze or worry about anything like that. 

About a month into dating him, I found out about something Connor did when he first met me that made my heart so incredibly happy.  When we first met, he called me that night to make sure I had made it home okay.  We talked for a few hours during that conversation and he told me had had spent Thanksgiving with another girl and that he was going to go see her the next day.  I thought to myself, "Ok, so I guess he just wants to be friends because he is telling me about this other girl."  I give him a hard time about this now, and he says he doesn't remember saying anything about her.  Haha!  Anyway, I found out a month later that instead of seeing the other girl the next day, Connor called her and told her he did not feel right continuing to see her, he did not want to lead her on in any way, and that he had found someone that he believed to be the true deal.

How sweet is that?  I mean, not for the other girl, but for the fact that he didn't lead her or me on.  He knew what he wanted and didn't play games with her heart or mine.  Let me tell you, I have been the girl on the other end of that conversation....except I never received a phone call....I was just dropped. 

Actions like that are how you know you've found a good one. :)