Advice for the Single Ladies (Part 6): Someone Else Finding a Husband Doesn't Somehow Lessen Your Chances

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”   ~Epicurus

SOMEONE ELSE FINDING A HUSBAND DOESN'T SOMEHOW LESSEN YOUR CHANCES

Tiffany Says:

I'm not gonna lie here, it is hard to see people getting what you want while you are not.  That's just the fact of it.  There were times where I thought I might poke my eye out if I had to go to another wedding and celebrate love and marriage and then leave completely alone.  There were times when I didn't even want to go to church because I couldn't stand to sit behind some happy couple with his arm around her shoulders.  I'm not saying it's easy. 

But here's the deal, there is no sort of marriage or happiness quota.  The fact that another girl gets a ring and walks down the aisle does not somehow lessen your chances at happiness with the person who is right for you.  (I'm sure that you Sheldon's in the group are thinking about how there would be some statistical reason that mathematically that is not correct, but just hush and sing Soft Kitty in the corner).

I know that for me (and for several of my single friends), this was a struggle.  It is easy to be bitter and negative and jealous.  But I really do think that it is so important to fight against that.  To find it inside of yourself to be happy for the other person and content enough with where you are to show that happiness. 

For me, I was able to combat this with gratefulness.  When I would feel whiny and left out and like everyone was taking all the happy from the universe, I made myself be grateful for what I have been given.  A life.  Health.  A great family.  Awesome friends.  Amazing opportunities.  It's hard to feel jealous when you are too busy feeling grateful.

Benefit of your friends getting married:  tons of bridesmaid dresses in a closet.

Lyndse Says:


Tiffany hit the nail on the head with this one….I don’t have much to add.

I will admit at being jealous when other friends would get a ring on their finger before me…hell, I was still over here just looking for someone to want to put a ring on my finger. Yes, I was jealous but an even bigger YES, was pure happiness for that person. They found their lobster (because every episode in Friends can relate to everything in life) and everyone deserves to find their Lobster.  Like Tiff says, you can’t let the fact you are alone at events where your singleness is put in your dang face…get you down. Shake off the singleness and relish in the fact that you are a healthy, stable working adult, who has great friends and family and is loving life.