Funny Conversations with The Boy from Texas (Part VIII)

I thought a few funny conversations might help brighten up your Monday.  Not going to lie, these may be the best ones yet.  (I also may get in trouble for posting some of them....)

*Before our trip to the mountains, I saw on Facebook they have a new zip lining course.  I immediately messaged my friend going with us and said we had to do it.  As I walked in the door from work....*
The Boy from Texas:  Do you want a divorce?
Me:  What??
TBFT:  No way in hell my pregnant wife is going to be zip lining.
Me:  Oh....I forgot I was pregnant!


*I'm in the kitchen making dinner, he is in the recliner in the living room.*
TBFT:  "Angus, what are you doing?  Angus, stop that!  Tiff!  Angus is humping my foot!  Tiff!  Make him stop!"


TBFT:  Holy crap. Our neighbors are all dressed up like knights and going to one of those weird parties.
Me:  Really?  That's weird. I wonder where the party is.
*15 minutes later*
Me:  What the heck?
TBFT:  What do you see?
Me:  A bunch of torches!
TBFT:  Great.  We moved down the road from Satan.


And now, a few gems from other boys in my life.

Little Brother:  I've seen you posting these pregnancy pictures on Facebook.  That's all fine.  But if you post one with your shirt rolled up over your big bare belly, I will unfriend you.


My Mom:  I don't know how you are going to make it two more months!  Where will that baby go?
My Dad:  They better not have him too early, have you guys even been married 9 months yet?
Me:  *counting*  No.  We've got to make it to July 25 so people don't talk.
My Dad:  This is hilarious, I can't wait to tell people at the family reunion!


Little Brother:  Would it be inappropriate if I bought a onesie that says, "I'm proof my mommy puts out?"
Me:  Yea, pretty sure that crosses the line.
Litte Brother:  What?  The baby can't read!
Me:  Where would you even find a onesie like that?
Little Brother:  I googled inappropriate onesies.
*For the record, he went this this one instead.*