Throwback Thursday #41: 4 Simple Words

“I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.” ~Gloria Steinem

Today we are throwing all the way back to last week when my own actions shocked me.

Here's how it went down.

Recently, a boy (yes, I know that males my age are technically called "men" but I prefer the term "boy" so that's what we'll go with) asked me what I did for a living. Now, in case you don't know, I'm a lawyer and I have been for over a year. Here's a graduation picture to prove it.
My response to this question should have been 4 simple words. "I am a lawyer." But that's not what I said. Instead, I responded with, "I work at a law firm."

It was not something intentional or something that I thought about, but I sure as heck said it. And after I did, I was really mad at myself. I don't work at a law firm...I'm a lawyer. So why did I say that?

Do I feel like I should not really be a lawyer? Am I some closet back-woods "women should be in the kitchen" believer and I don't even know? I don't think so, but heck if I know why I did it. I think that somewhere I apparently worry that a boy will not like the fact that I'm a lawyer.

I think maybe I'm crazy. But apparently I'm not alone. I was talking to another attorney who is extremely successful, very well respected, and even has her name in her firm's title. She told me that she almost always says that she "works at a law firm" when people ask her what she does for a living. She doesn't know why she does it either.

I think this signifies some sort of problem. I don't know what the fix for it is. But what I do know is that if a boy is going to care about the fact that I'm a lawyer, I don't want to talk to him anyway. So I might as well get it out there in the open. So from now on, I'll answer the question with my 4 simple words.

Oh, and to conclude the story: The fact that I said this didn't matter. Dude busted me on the follow up question....are you a lawyer? Sneaky.

Dropping a Love Bomb

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." ~Mother Teresa

I recently came across an amazing website called Let's Drop a Love Bomb. The whole idea is that people who follow their blog get notices of other bloggers who are having a hard time. Deaths, illnesses, lost jobs, break ups, etc. When something like this happens, everyone on Love Bomb goes to the person's blog and leaves them an encouraging comment. Last week's recipient got over 250 comments on her blog on one day from all around the world.

I think that if the world was more like this--if we looked for people who were hurting and did simple gestures to help them--it would be a better place. Just being there for someone, or saying a prayer for them when they are down, or doing something kind for no reason can make a difference. If everyone did these things every day, we could change the world.

When one of my friends passed away while he was still in high school, his mom said something that I have never forgotten. She said that she could feel the people praying for her. Ever since, I have tried my hardest to say a prayer for anyone I know or hear about going through a hard time. I hope that people can feel this, and it brings them some measure of comfort and peace.

Will a blog comment mend a broken heart? No. But will knowing that people care about you and are praying for you during a difficult situation bring some sort of peace? Hopefully. Check out the Love Bomb website. And look for the opportunity to drop one on people in your own life. Let's change the world.

The Epidemic

"I was more afraid of missing out on God's best for my life than of being alone." ~Trish Ryan, A Maze of Grace

College Roomie started it all when she got an email from one of her friends in China. College Roomie had previously written the friend a letter filling her in on what was going on with her life. Mind you, College Roomie owns a house, has a great job, just got back from Vegas and has a great best friend (aka ME!).

In reply to College Roomie's letter, the friend said, “Happy to know that everything is good to you, but what I care about more is when will you get married?”

Ugh. THAT question. It's an epidemic. And apparently, it is worldwide!

For the life of me, I don't understand it. Why is that the ONE question that it's socially acceptable to ask someone about every time you see them? It would not be okay to ask someone, "So do you have a college degree yet?" or "So did you finally get off your lazy hiney and get a job?" or "So when are you going to lose the 20 pounds you need to lose" when you were not sure of the answer. But it's totally fine to quiz away about someone's relationship status?

And, even a bigger question is why do people measure the quality of a person's life based on their marital status? Don't get me wrong here....I want to get married. Like a lot. BUT.....just because I am not married yet does not mean that my life is sad or that I am miserable. In fact, quite the opposite is true.

I'm happy and independent and free to do and go and talk to whomever I want. I can spend a whole Saturday in my pajamas watching college football or I can jump on a plane to Notre Dame or Stillwater or San Francisco without checking with anyone else, or I can eat Wheat Thins for dinner. And if for some reason I never get married, my life will still be great. (Although I will probably have to learn to cook because a girl can only live in Wheat Thins for so long).

My point is this. While I'm waiting for Mr. Right to come out of the forrest he's lost in (if you see him, please give him a map to my house), I'm still living a really great life. And it's full of a wonderful cast who loves me and supports me and makes me a better person. Am I married? No. Am I happy? You better believe it.

Oh, and when Mr. Right does arrive, you won't need to ask.....I'll probably make t-shirts for everyone and rent a billboard. Designed by this guy. He's clever.

This

"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it." ~Jean de La Fontaine

First things first.....this month's giveaway winners are Amy E. and Oklahoma Mom! We have two because Cousin Kevin agreed to donate an extra tin! Yay, Cousin Kevin!

Those of you who didn't win can still order your tin from Cousin Kevin here! (Tell them you ordered from me....I'm trying to solidify my position as favorite cousin!) :)

Now, on to today's blog.....I love Darius Rucker. You might remember that I saw him in concert a while back. Anyway, he has a new song out called "This" and I knew the first time I heard it that I would love it. Here are just a few of the lyrics.

Every stoplight I didn’t make
Every chance I did or I didn’t take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn’t know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this

Like the girl that I loved in high school
Who said she could do better
Or the college I wanted to go to
Till I got that letter
All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I’d never get through
And the moment I almost gave up
All led me here to you
I didn’t understand it way back when
But sittin’ here right now
It all makes perfect sense

Isn't this true? I thought he was singing about me....boys that broke my heart, colleges that sent (or didn't send) the letter, moments of heartache.....I've been there. But I'm able to see how those things needed to happen in order to get me to the place where I am now--the place where God intends me to be. Sometimes when we are going through things it's impossible to look at the bigger picture and see how good might come out of difficult situations. But when we look back years later, things often start to fall into place. I, for one, am glad that I didn't get the thins I thought I wanted years ago. And I think Darius Rucker is on something here!

Check out the whole song:

Last Chance to Enter!!

The Cousin Kevin's Big Little Fudge giveaway will be over tomorrow.......enter by clicking here and leaving a comment before 6:00 tomorrow!

Trust me.....you want to win this fudge!

Family Farm Friday #37: Through a Child's Eyes

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.”
~Walt Streightiff

I've always known that growing up on a farm teaches kids important lessons. Shoot, it was farm lessons that I wrote the very first Family Farm Friday about. I said later that my idea of Heaven would be a childhood memory from the farm. Clearly it's something that I am aware of, but take for granted because I was raised on a farm my whole childhood.

But over Thanksgiving, I got to take a step back and see farm lessons through the eyes of non-farm kids.

First, farming teaches kids about the circle of life. This weekend, I got to watch the birth of a baby calf through the eyes of a three year old. At three years old, he learned that the baby came out of the mommy's tummy and was all gross and yucky, and he learned that the calf would stand up pretty soon to go drink the mommy's milk.

Second, farming teaches kids to problem solve. Two of my "city kid" (if you can call Jal, New Mexico a city) cousins were cruising around on the four wheeler when my dad caputured them and gave them an important assignment. Those of you who know my dad see the humor in this...since I was a kid any time a friend came over to my house for ANY reason, they got put to work by my dad! Anyway, he told the kids to go down to the field and open the gate to let the sheep go back up the lane into the barn. My cousin, Baby Einstein told his sister, "This is going to be hard."

So off they went on the four-wheeler. First, they ended up at the wrong gate. But they figured that out and went to the next one. Which was also wrong. But they figured that out and finally ended up at the correct gate. They went to open it, but figured out that they probably needed to get the four-wheeler out of the gate first. So they did and then they opened the gate and in came the sheep. To celebrate this problem solving effort, part of the family formed a victory line as they drove back to the house.

And a total side note...Baby Einstein said the funniest thing ever when they got back. He asked if they did it right, my dad said yes, and Baby Einstein said, "I don't know about you guys, but I sure hope those sheep don't come over here and mock us." (I have no idea!)

Third, they learn to care about the animals. You put a kid on a horse and let them ride around, and there will be an instant bond. The same when you let a kid hold a puppy or let them name baby lambs. They want to help take care of these animals and they will ask about them YEARS later.

It's always nice to take a step back and look at your way of life through the fresh eyes of a child. After doing that this weekend, I sure did like what I saw!

ONLY 2 MORE DAYS TO ENTER TO WIN A TIN OF FUDGE! CLICK HERE!

2010 Christmas Card by Shutterfly

“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.” ~Dale Evans Rogers

One of the many, many reasons I love Christmas is creating my yearly Christmas card! You might remember my post last year that explained the origin of my sending out a Christmas card. Here's a recap of my card last year.

I have found lots of benefits of doing a Christmas card. First, as the prior blog explains, this is this one of those things I refuse to wait until I’m married to do, so it gives me a sense of satisfaction to do it now. Second, I always enjoy going back through my pictures to figure out which 4 or 5 really capture the best parts of my year. It’s a great “year in review” for me! And third, I save one of my cards each year and end up with a collection of the best parts of my life all in one place.

This year, I will be designing my card on Shutterfly. You’ve seen me blog about this website before when I told you about my new love of digital scrapbooking! They have tons of different options for cards. Here are a few of my favorites.

Number one:

Number two:

Number three:

They are also running a promotion....if you have a blog and post about Shutterfly Christmas Cards, you can get 50 free! For more info on that, click here.

DON'T FORGET TO ENTER THIS MONTH'S GIVEAWAY....FUDGE!! CLICK HERE!

December Giveaway - FUDGE!

"All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!" ~Lucy on Charlie Brown

Well, somehow it is officially December. I don't know where the year has gone. But, I think that it's time for our December giveaway!

You can thank The Shoeologist who is currently doing an awesome boot giveaway (please, please please, pick me!!) for making me ready to do my giveaway right now!

I'm super excited about this month's giveaway because it involves someone you have all come to know and love on the blog, Cousin Kevin. You've read about him once or twice.

Anyway, he and his adorable business partner (don't be jealous, Kev....you're adorable too) have recently launched their own fudge brand and company, Big Little Fudge.

Now, let me just tell you....this stuff is amazing. I didn't say good, I said amazing. And I've eaten a lot of fudge in my day (including once on vacation when I was like 10 and I ate a pound and spend the rest of the night throwing up). Big Little is the best. Hands down.
So, to celebrate Cousin Kevin's new venture, I'll be giving away a free tin of assorted fudge! (You can check out the assortment here).

Entering is simple and you have two options:

1. Leave me a comment on this blog (see below) telling me your favorite Christmas gift of all time!

2. Become a follower of this blog (see instructions here) and I will give you 5 extra entries!

Have your entries in by Sunday, December 5 at 6:00 pm! I will draw and announce a winner on Monday! Good luck!

Here, There.....or Everywhere

"Father break my heart for what breaks Yours, give me open hands and open doors, put Your light in my eyes and let me see, that my own little world is not about me." ~Matthew West, My Own Little World

Lat week, one of the Christian radio stations that I listen to, K-LOVE, held an event called "Thanksgiving 4 Africa." The pledge drive was collecting money to buy food for the people of Niger or other countries suffering from a severe drought in western Africa. There are hundreds of thousands of people who are literally starvin to death. There were donors who agreed to multiply every gift given by 4. I saw this as a great opportunity to give and to make a difference. One of the listeners wrote to the morning show and criticized Thanksgiving 4 Africa. Her point was that there are plenty of people who are hungry and struggling in America, so she did not think that it was right to be sending money and food elsewhere.

I have to tell you....this issue has bothered me ever sense. I've struggled with it and prayed about it. I certainly understand her point. There are people in the US who need our help, and we all too often turn our backs. But I understand the fact that there are people dying in Western Africa every day as well. Who should we donate our money to? Who do we help? Whose life do we save? Is there a right answer?

I think that maybe God leads us to where it is that he intends us to help. So maybe the woman who feels so strongly lead to donate only to people in the US is intended to give and help people here. Maybe people who feel strongly called to reach out to people in other countries are intended to do that as well.

I think that the bottom line is that God loves everyone, regardless of where they live. So it seems to make sense to me that God would call people to help everywhere. I have written before that it is my prayer that God will break my heart for the things that break His. Maybe if everyone prays this prayer, and then follows their hearts, God will provide help to people everywhere.

By the way, the quote for this blog came from a wonderful song....check it out!

A Lesson from Pancake Boy

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I'm just going to say it. It's hard to be a single girl. It seems like Mr. Right must be out there somewhere, but sometimes it seems like it might be easier to become a rocket scientist or brain surgeon than to find him.

And I'm not the only one who feels this way. ND Friend recently had a very telling (and hilarious) experience with a potential "The One" who turned out to be another wrong one.

She met the wrong one, who we'll call Pancake Boy (you'll understand in a minute), while at a bachlorette party in Texas. He was a nice, southern, ag boy from southeast Texas. They hit it off right away and started talking on the phone. Long story short, he decided to come and visit ND Friend in Chicago. It didn't take Pancake Boy long to strike out.

Because ND Friend is the sweetest person on earth, she was worried that this guy might not feel comfortable in the big city. So she went all out---she made him a cd of Texas Country songs so that if traffic or whatever got too overwhelming, they could play it in the car. She drew him a map of cool places within walking distance of her apartment that he could go see during the day while she was at work. She even bought him little gift cards to some of the places she suggested. He, however, never left her apartment while she was at work. For 3 days. Not once. Strike one.

And she tried to think of all of the great places to take him so that he could really experience Chicago. When she took him out to see Lake Michigan, his response was, "Well, it's okay, but Lake Jim Bob Whatever in southeast Texas is pretty darn neat too." (It wasn't really called Jim Bob Whatever, but it was a lake named after some random person.....compared to freaking Lake Michigan!) Um.....okay.....strike two.

And then, the defining moment came when she took him to Bongo Room (you read about this place last week). So off they go to what must be one of the best brunch places in the world. She suggested all sorts of fun entrees for him to try. His response? "Well golly, I just want regular eggs and bacon." (Okay, I don't know if he really said golly, but this is my blog and I can embelish a little when necessary.) ND Friend didnt' say anything when he ordered that and she ordered her amazing pretzel pancakes covered in white chocolate and carmel drizzle.

When their food arrived, ND Friend tried to get Pancake boy to taste her pancakes. He refused. She asked, "You won't even try them?" He said no. And that was when it was clear to her that he was the wrong one. She told me later, "You know, I didn't care at all about the stupid pancakes. But it was clear that this dude was just not fun!" Yea....he was out. WAY out.

So I think we all need to take a lesson from Pancake Boy. We have got to be willing to try new things and to have new experiences. You have to get out of the apartment, so to speak. And when you do, you have to appreciate the experience you are having. Even if you prefer lake Jim Bob Whatever to Lake Michigan, appreciate the beauty that is Lake Michigan.

You might not like the new thing you try or the new place you go or the new person you meet...but at least you tried it. Maybe Pancake Boy would have hated the pretzel pancakes (only if he had no taste buds). But you know what? He never had to eat them again and could have gone back to Texas with a great story to tell his buddies next summer on lake Jim Bob Whatever. Intead, he left with nothing.

And, like ND Friend explained, it's not about the pancakes, or him being a recluse, or Lake Jim Bob Whatever. It's about so much more. It's about being a person who is fun and adventurous and who loves life. It's about taking a chance and making a memory. It's about living life to the fullest. No one wants to be with someone who isn't going to do that.

So, to sum it up: Try new things. Especially if they are drenched in chocolate.

And Pancake Boy, just in case you are reading this.....your closed-minded un-fun-ness cost you an amazing girl. Big mistake. Big. Huge!