Friday, May 11, 2012

Viva Las Vegas #3: M&Ms, Margarativille and a Thong

"Quit hanging on to the handrails.  Let go.  Surrender.  Go for the ride of your life.  Do it every day."  ~Melody Beattie

So after having the Freemont Street experience the first night, we slept in a little bit and then it was time for the big event.  Nope, not the wedding....the trip to the M&M Store with Little Cowboy.  For his birthday, I promised him that I'd take him there, just me and him, no moms and no grandmas.  They might not have let us buy enough candy.  So we called a cab and headed out to buy a bag of candy bigger than our head.
About to get into the cab.
Little Cowboy has been telling everyone
that he met a real-life M&M
It takes a while to gather up 5 pounds of candy.
After a lot of shopping, a very excited 5 year old, and $70 out of my wallet, I deemed the birthday present a success and myself a good aunt.

And because we needed something to wash down all that sugar, we headed to the Coca-Cola store for cokes in a glass bottle.

From there, we headed to meet up with the rest of the family at Margaritaville.  This what when we got directions from Midget Elvis and Little Cowboy made the comments about women's attire.  Priceless.
Little Cowboy and Midget Elvis
So after that we did some hanging out at Margarittaville, checked out Caesar's Palace, then I hit up the Bellagio and met up with Dr. Kyra and The Hepburns and went to check out the Venecian's canals and version of St. Mark's Square. 

Whole group at Margaritaville


Family photo with a naked man statue
The groom arrived in Vegas!
Bellagio Garden
Venecian Canal
That evening our entire family gathered up at the hotel where we were staying and overtook the bar. At one point, Moomoo (the bride)'s grandma came in to see us and said, "These people are too loud and embarassing." Yes, yes that would be us.

Happy Little Family
This was where Uncle Black Belt made his big presentation. I can't go into the whole story, but suffice it to say we had convinced Moomoos that the hotel had a nude pool right next to the wedding ceremony area and Uncle Buddy kept talking about wearing a leopard print thong and his black hat. Well, he could not find leopard, but he did find a zebra striped one....and he carried it in his pocket clear to Vegas. You never know what's coming next with that man....
Uncle Black Belt and the Swimwear



After this, there was a lot of discussion about what to do that night, and in the end we a bunch of us decided to head to Freemont Street again. We loaded up two vehicles full of crazy people jamming out to country music, probably damaging the eardrums of our poor cab drivers, and headed out for some fun. Can I just tell you that every strange person in the world is lined up next to each other on a Friday night on Freemont Street? Because they are. There are no words, but trust me.  Oh, and Little Brother may have done an Ellen Dare Dance.  If I can get the video, I'll post it!



While I was busy playing Deal or No Deal with Little Hepburn and Soldier Cousin, Miss Little had arrived in Vegas and was busy jumping off the Stratosphere.  I told you my family is full of fun, no??  We called it a night around 2 in the morning...but at least we were not in the worst shape of people on Freemont Street!  Derek took a picture with this dude who was passed out on the stree to prove it.

Still to come we have the Kentucky Derby, the wedding, and me hitting the Strip with three teenagers....stay tuned, folks!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Viva Las Vegas #2: Freemont Street Experience

"Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional."~ Bob Monkhouse

You read most of the insane travel-related quotes yesterday, so you understand that just getting to Vegas was an adventure all its own. 

Once we all got situated, we decided to head down to Freemont Street.  My parents and Aunt and Uncle Evil Kineval say this is their favorite spot in Vegas, so I was excited to check it out.  We all piled into a limo (including poor Soldier Cousin who got stuck riding on the floor there and back) and I proceeded to get car sick from riding backwards.

Loading into the limo
I have to agree, it was my favorite as well.  It's much more low key and smaller than the Strip.  It was great for a big group of people because it was easy to find each other.

I'm totally not a gambler, but I decided to play some quarter slots.  About 20 minutes into this, I hit three 7's across the screen.  I knew I won, but could not tell how much.  After the winnings total got to $20, I yelled to my dad who was a couple aisles away, "Dad, I won!"  He sort of waived and kept on playing his machine.  When the total got to $100, I yelled again, "Dad, I won A LOT!"  When it was finally done, I ended up winning $135.  I spent $20 to play.  And so, being the wild and crazy person I am, I cashed out for the night. 

The three sisters lined up at the slots....Uncle Evil Kineval checking on things.
About this time, I look over and hear some guy yelling to my dad across the bar, "Hey Tex, can I try on your hat?"  Soldier Cousin took the hat over and the guy put it on.  His head was so much bigger than my dad's that it looked like one of those little has that monkeys wear on the top of their heads.  Anyway, the guy took a couple pictures with the hat and then returned it.  When we got ready to leave, the guy said, "Wait a minute, Tex, I'm buying you a shot!"  My dad said no thanks and it was not necessary.  Then the guy stood up---all 6'8 of him.  My dad looked up at him, and down the hatch that shot went!

Next, Soldier Cousin wanted to ride the zipline, and he wanted Aunt Delta Dawn to go with him.  She was really nervous, so being the kind of niece that I am, I totally lied to her and told her it would not be scary at all.  So off she went to ride the zipline with her grandson.  He had an absolute blast.  She did not.  Here is photo proof.  It's hard to see, but Soldier Cousin is doing a thumbs up and Aunt Delta Dawn looks horrified. (Family:  does anyone have a better picture of this?)
Solider Cousin and Aunt Delta Dawn

She was not happy with me, but she crossed it off her bucket list and gave Soldier Cousin a memory that he will never forget.  I call that worth it.

The rest of the night was spent just milling around Freemont visiting with family and friends and listening to a live country music show. 

The whole crazy group!
Me and the Hepburns

About 1 am, we decided it was time to call the limo to come back and pick us up.  Everyone was on board, except for my mom who was still playing Deal or No Deal and was NOT happy to leave.  So there I was, dragging my own mother out of the casino.

My parents in front of Hard Rock at 2 am
When we got back to the hotel, I was headed off to bed when my parents, Moomoos, Cousin Leroy and his girlfriend decided we all needed to go to Hard Rock across the street.  I walked about halfway over when Ski Trip John and I decided we could not hand with these old people and we had to go to bed! 


Me and Ski Trip John (aka the quitters)
So we snuck away from the group....you got it---I had to sneak IN so my parents did not notice.  Those people are crazy, I'm telling you!

Stay tuned tomorrow for the recap of Day #2!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Viva Las Vegas #1: That's Going In The Book

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." ~ An Affair to Remember

Well as y'all know, my family invaded Las Vegas last weekend for Little Brother's wedding.  I could tell right away we were going to have some hilarious quotes that I wanted to remember and to share with you all.  Luckily, I carry a little book in my purse and so when someone would say something funny, I would write it in the book.  After seeing me do this, it became something that everyone said after a funny comment..."that's going in the book!" 

I'm also linking up with Jamie for WILW....I'm loving these quotes! :)


So, without further adieu, I give you....The Book.

Little Cowboy (as we are walking down the strip):  "Hey Tiff?"
Me:  "Yea, buddy.  What's up?"
Little Cowboy:  "In this town, a lot of girls only wear panties."
Me:  *cricket chirp, cricket chirp* (thinking to myself, just keep walking, don't ask me any questions!)
Little Cowboy with Midget Elvis
Drunk Italian guy (standing by girl who was peeing in front of The Venecian):  "I so sorry."
Me:  "Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go."
Drunk Italian guy (pointing at me):  "I want to marry you!"

Random guy at Margaritaville (as my family walked by):  "Oh wow, look, a cowboy convention!"

The Cowboy Convention
Aunt Delta Dawn:  "Is prostitution legal here?  That's on my bucket list."
My Mom (in horror):  "To see one, or be one?"


Ski Trip John (some girl flashed him in the cab and one of our family friends said something about how that girl just did everything in the wrong order):  "Sometimes working backwards might be easier."

Aunt Delta Dawn (after spending the afternoon at margaritavaille while walking over a broken moving sidewalk at Caesar's Palace):  "This thing is not moving, correct?"
Margaritaville!
My Dad (after a super cute, 21 year old blonde in a tiny dress boards the plane):  "I'm sitting by her."

Ski Trip Jerry (talking about his wife):  "She's not as proud of that whiskey as I am."

Aunt Delta Dawn (while watching my mom shop for clothes literally two steps from exiting the airplane):  "Well, better here than at a morturary."  Because my mom seriously asked the funeral home if the clothing on the rack was for sale while planning my grandma's funeral.

My Mom and Little Cowboy
Moomoos (when asked if she was going to bet on the Derby):  "I'm just not feeling that lucky today."  Mind you, this was her wedding day.

Me (taking a boutineer laying on the table at the reception and throwing it into Miss Little's lap):  "Hey, Miss Little caught to bouquet!  Yay!"
Miss Little and Cousin Kevin
Aunt Delta Dawn (after I told her to check out the plane drink menu because I had free drink tickets): "You mean this plane doesn't serve margaritas?"

My Mom (after Aunt Delta Dawn made her throw away her lighter before going through airport security): "It was just one lighter." Yes....it's the NUMBER of them on a plane that causes concern.

Soldier Cousin (to our adorable family friend Little Hepburn):  "I think you're about the least redneck one here."  Not saying much....
Soldier Cousin and Little Hepburn
Uncle Evil Kenieval:  "Nothing like a woman to shut the fun down."

Dr. Kyra, mother to Ski Trip John: "That woman's breast is bigger than John's head."


The Bride, Groom and Little Cowboy with Ski Trip John, Jerry and Dr. Kyra
Little Cowboy (walking through the M&M Store):  "This is like too much good.  Too much."
Aunt Tiff and Little Cowboy at the M&M Store
Mrs. Hepburn:  "Don't count your money when your chickens are dead."  (She was trying to get the don't count your chickens until they hatch quote out).
 The Hepburns on the left and Ski Trip Jerry, John and Dr. Kyra on the right
Uncle Black Belt (trying to get situated on the plane):  "I'm being molested by a seatbelt!"

Cousin Conductor (referring to his yardstick long drink that he brought to the wedding):  "This is my plus one"
Cousin Conductor and his date
Random girl at Peppermill Diner at 3:00 am:  "They were here because I sat on them ******."  Turns out she was referring to her lost shoes and not to actual people.

Cousin Conductor (when his mom walked off and left his drink unattended):  "You can't leave a drink unattended, Mom!  I could have gotten rufied.  If I end up pregnant, this is all on you."

Ski Trip John: "Vegas is dirty. Every night I feel like I just need to go home and wash the sin off of me."

Stay tuned tomorrow when we'll start our day by day recaps!

Monday, May 7, 2012

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

"What happens in Vegas ends up on Tiffany's blog."  ~Theme for the weekend

....Y'ALL! Little Brother's wedding weekend in Las Vegas was unbelievable. SO much fun. But because I feel a little (a lot) like I got hit by a bus and I'm running on about 2 hours of sleep last night, I'm going to take a couple of days to get any blogs up. But trust me, they'll be worth the wait. Here are a couple of snapshots to keep your interest until I return!





Friday, May 4, 2012

Friday Book Club: April Books

Well continuing on in my two books a month attempt, this month I picked two absolutely amazing books:  The Help and Half-Broke Horses.  Honestly, these are two of the best books that I've ever read.  So, it's time for another link up with Friday Book Club
The Help by Kathryn Stockett

I know that I'm behind the boat on The Help and that the book and the movie were crazy popular a while back.  Since I don't read fiction, I had not planned on ever reading the book.  But the on an airport layover it was on sale in the bookstore and I figured I'd see what all the hype was about.  This was one time that the hype was worth it!  I seriously could not put this book down.

This is the story of life in 1950 Jackson, Missisippi.  It is written from three perspectives--one white college graduate and two black maids.  When you read this book and realize that we are talking about how things were less than 60 years ago, it's shocking.  You read about what you'd expect--the help being treated poorly by their bosses, being accused of stealing and made to use their own outdoor toilets.  But what the book has that I did not expect was a sense of hope.  Hope that there are people who see other people for who they are, not for the color of their skin.  People who have strength and courage to take a stand when injustice is done.  There are stories that will have you laughing out loud one minute and ones that have you tearing up the next.  Oh, and if you think you know because you've seen the movie--you are dead wrong.  It does not hold a candle to this book!

Here are my two favorite quotes:

"Every morning, 'til you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision.  You gone have to ask yourself, am I gone belive what them fools say about me today?"

"We are just two people.  Not that much separates us.  Not nearly as much as I had thought."

Half-Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls
This book was not on my radar at all until I stumbled on it one night at Target.  I could tell just from reading the back of the book that the woman would remind me of my grandma, so I had to buy it.  And I'm so glad I did!  This book was the life story of a girl growing up in New Mexico in the early 1900s.  There were stories about her breaking horses, bootlegging whiskey, riding her horse from New Mexico to Arizona for her first teaching job, surviving floods and droughts, flying a plane, moving to Chicago and marrying a con man, moving home and finding love.  You name it and this lady did it.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book.

"History gets written by the winners, and when the crooks win, you have crooked history."

"I realized that in the months since my sister died, I hadn't been paying much attention to things like the sunrise, but that old sun had been coming up anyway.  It didn't really care how I felt, it was going to rise and set regardless of whether I noticed it, and if I was going to enjoy it, that was up to me."

"Don't you little lady me.  I break horses.  I brand steers.  I run a ranch with a couple dozen crazy cowboys on it, and I can beat them all at poker."

"Of course God exists and He hears you.  He has the right to say no, you know."

Thursday, May 3, 2012

What I've Learned in My Twenties

"The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." ~Muhammad Ali

Linking up with Kelly's Korner!

I've been following along for weeks as Sarah did an amazing series where she asked bloggers the question:  What have you learned in your twenties?  When she announced that she was doing a link up for everyone to chime in with their answers, I knew I had to participate!  Heck, I've done a post about the things I've learned in 2009 and 2011!

So, as a girl on the downhill side of my twenties (deep breath, deep breath, don't hyperventillate thinking about it, Tiffany!), I look back on the last 8.5 years and cannot believe how much I have learned.  I think that I'm a completely different person than I was when I was a 20 year old wide-eyed sophomore at Oklahoma State. 

I also think (or at least hope) that I'm a better person now than I was then.  And that I will carry these lessons with me into the next decades of my life and continue to build upon them.  As good as my twenties have been to me, I fully expect that what is to come will be even better.

I've learned to dream big, to set goals, and to go for it!  I learned that the only thing that limits our dreams and our abilities is ourselves.  I learned that even if a goal seems impossible to reach, if you keep working hard enough, you can achieve it.  I've learned that if I set my mind to something, I can make it happen.  This lesson brought about living in San Franciso for a summer, traveling to Europe, and running a half marathon.

I've learned that my happiness is up to me.  My attitude is something that I am able to choose every day--every minute--and if I make the right choice, life is so much better.  I've learned to be content where I am, and not longing for the past or waiting for the future.  I've learned that I cannot tie my own happiness to someone else.  We have to fight for joy in our lives.

I've learned that being a single twenty-something really is more positive than negative.  My singleness has allowed me to figure out who I am and what I am looking for, and to write letters to my future husband.  It has allowed me to travel the world and do things that I had always dreamed of.  I've toured the Swiss Alps and wondered the streets of Rome at 1:00 am.  I've rushed the field, seen the gold helemts run out of the tunnel and watched my team win a BCS bowl game.  I've snorkeld in the ocean and biked the Golden Gate Bridge and eaten at Tavern on the Green.  I've granted wishes to terminally ill children and registered to save someone's life.  Being single has allowed me the ability to spend my time doing things that are worthwhile and meaningful to me.  My life is full of love. God is still faithful and I am still blessed regardless of whether I have a ring on my left finger.


I've learned that you have to fight for the relationships that are important.  Studies show that this is the time of our lives when we lose friendships.  We are separated by distance and busy building careers and starting families and we just lose touch.  We have to fight for the people who matter to us.  And when we find them, we have to invest the time to keep them.  For me, that means girls' weekends with the Gossip Girls.  And St. Patrick's Day in Chicago with ND FriendSurprising SoulMate Friend at a baby shower.  Sitting through 36 hours of labor before my Goddaughter arrived.  Frequent conversations with BFF and never missing a family Thanksgiving dinner.

I've learned that it's okay to just let go, have fun, and not worry about what other people think.  This is quite the lesson for a total type-A perfectionist to learn.  We must sing karaoke like a crazy person in San Francisco.  And dance with the stranger at the pub.  And eat the fru-fru pancakes.  Why not?


I've learned that I am _____ enough.  Whatever word you want to place in the blank.  Smart.  Pretty.  Funny.  Important.  I'm a villa in Tuscany.  When we are younger, we spend so much time trying to fit ourselves into some mold--the popular crowd or the girl on magazine cover or the person on our favorite tv show.  My twenties have convinced me that who I am is good enough, period.

I've learned what a true hero is.  That the true ones are not famous actors or professonal athletes or singers selling out stadiums.  They are the amazing people that I am blessed to have in my own life.  People like real housewives and ag teachersMy parentsTrue  neighbors.  My amazing auntsGran.


I've learned that life is short and precious and that we must live in light of that.  In my twenties, I have said goodbye to some of my favorite people in the world.  I've sat through more funerals in the last 8 years than most people do in a lifetime.  I've given a eulogy and I've carried a casket.  I've seen right in the wrong.  And what I've learned from these experiences is that we have to live our lives right now.  We have to face our fears.  Search out experiences.  Appreciate the time we have.  We have a jump off the diving board.  We have to get to playin'.  And if there is something that we are not happy with in our lives, well it's up to us to make a change.
As I said on my 28th birthday, I continue to realize on pretty much a daily basis that it's hard work becoming the person who I am meant to be, but in the end.....it's going to be so worth it.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What I'm Loving Wednesday #22



"Don’t shrink down the magic inside your soul to fit the small minds of people who can’t comprehend your uniqueness!" ~The Single Woman

1.  Kip Moore's song, "Hey Pretty Girl."  Could this be any cuter?  I said this on Facebook last week, but I would seriously marry this guy if he sang me this song...hippie hat and all!


Favorite line:  "Hey pretty girl let's build some dreams.  A house on a piece of land.  Plant some roots and some apple trees.  Hey pretty girl let's' build some dreams".  Yes.  Let's.  Where do I meet this guy??

2.  Today is my Friday.  Woo hoo!!  Tomorrow I'm headed to Vegas for Little Brother's wedding weekend!  Y'all should probaby say a prayer for Vegas--they have no idea what's coming in the next two days when my crazy family and our friends invade!

3.  A famous person thinks I'm fun!  Do y'all remember a couple of years ago when I met Alex Weeden at Calf Fry?  He would be the lead guitarist for Miranda Lambert and former lead singer of Honeybrowne.  (Texas Angel, anyone???)  Anyhow--he's married to one of Loud Oklahoma Girls' friends.  When they were talking about whether they could go to LOKG's wedding, he asked, "Will her lawyer friend be there?  That girl was really fun!"  I was so flattered!  

I don't really see myself as being "fun" in group situations like this when I meet new people.I think of myself as being pretty average and as a person who sort of blends in when in these type of situations, so the fact that someone famous remembered me and thought I was fun?   Um....could I have gotten a better compliment?  Favorite musician ever has officially been solidified. (PS---please come to the wedding!)

4. My hair appointment. I'm kicking today with spin class and then an appointment with Miss Texas to get my hair done.  Seriously, getting my hair fixed makes me feel like a new person!  I'm in the process of growing it out for the two weddings I'm in this summer, but even just a trim will make things better!

5.  OSU represented in the NFL Draft!  Last week we had two players go in the first round of the 2012 NFL Draft.  We all knew Justin Blackmon would go first round and probably top 10.  He ended up going #5 to the Jacksonville Jaguires.  My love for Blackmon only continued when I learned that he arranged for a 10 year old girl with cancer, who he met during a visit last year to the hosptial in Stillwater and has remained in contact with, to fly out for the draft with him.  Good work, #81!  Good work.  The big surprise was Brandon Weeden--our 28 year old quarterback--going in the mid-first round.  Everyone waws pretty sure he would be drafted, but most analysts though late second or third round.  Well forget that, the Browns stepped up and took him #22.  The question now becomes--will it be Weeden or McCoy starting at QB?  I want to share a sign that some kid made years ago when McCoy was the quarterback at Texas and playing at OSU.....



It says, "Colt McCoy likes fishsticks better than football."  Um....yea, I have no idea what that means.  Team Weeden!

6.  I can pick 'em.  In other football related news, it was announced last week that true freshman Wes Lunt would be starting for Oklahoma State come the fall.  Please recall that when I was at the spring game, I went down on the field after to take pictures with the players.  Most people flocked to J.W. Walsh, another QB candidate, but not this girl.  Nope.....I went straight for Lunt knowing he would be the star.  Clearly Gundy and I are on the same page about him.  He should probably hire me as an assistant.  Who has his phone number??

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Every Mile a Memory (Part 3)

"One of the near-death experience truths is that each person integrates their near-death experience into their own pre-existing belief system." - Jody Long

I'm not really sure you would call the whole emergency landing situation on my flight home from Oklahoma City a "near-death experience" because that would be a little too dramatic, but roll with me here.  In Part 1 of this series, I told you about my running Remember The Ten.  In Part 2, I cracked a few jokes (I think that I'm quite funny...) and told the story of my plane making an emergency landing.  Today, I wanted to write a more serious post about my thoughts on this.  After a little time to reflect, I think that I can sum it up in three thoughts.
God gives us what we need when we need it. 

If you had told me a month ago that I would be on a flight that had engine trouble and made an emergency landing ona runway surrounded by fire trucks and ambulances, I would have told you without question that I would have flipped out and either been having a screaming fit or passed out from fear.  No question.  Yet when this actually happened, I was completely calm.  Of course it was a little scary, but there was no panicing, no fits, and no fainting.  The only way to explain this is that God gives us what we need when we need it.  For me, that was a sense of calm amidst the storm.
I've thought about this idea before.  I did a Bible Study where we talked about the Bible passage where the Isrealites were wondering in the desert and God let manna (food) fall from the sky for them each day.  The Isrealites were only permitted to take as much as they could for one day.  If they tried to take too much and stockpile it, the manna would spoil and go bad. 

This is a great example of God giving us what we need when we need it, and not before.  Until last Sunday, I had not really seen this in action in my own life.  I did not need the mental strength to keep from freaking out during a crisis until I was in the crisis.  When the time was right, God gave me what I needed.  God gives us what we need when we need it--isn't that true about so much more than calm and strength?  I for one know that I can always use this little reminder.

How quickly we forget.

I have to say that 99.9% of the people on that plane were great.  Everyone remained calm, was patient, kind, and seemed genuinely able to deal with being stuck in the worst airport in the world for 4 hours.  I figure that everyone knew that it was so much better than the alternative, which became quite the possible reality when we saw all of the emergency personnel on the runway.  But, as there always seems to be, there was the one lady.....  I swear, all she could do was gripe and complain about how she was already supposed to be in Vegas and she was missing some show and she needed a cigarette and she could not beleive they had to fly another plane in to pick us up.  On and on and on.  It was all I could do to keep myself from having a real Come to Jesus talk with this chick.

Again on the topics of wondering Israelites (clearly I paid attention that day at Bible Study!), I've written a prior blog called How Quickly We Forget.  The Israelites had seen God's miracles--remember the whole parting of the Red Sea thing--with their own eyes.  But years of being out in the desert took a toll, and they forgot the miracles and focused on their own problems.  Las Vegas lady took the same approach--albiet she forgot after about an hour, not years.  As she was having her fit, all I could think of was, "Lady, do you not remember an hour ago when a runway full of ambulances was there to take us to the hospital if things went bad?  And an army full of fire trucks was there if things went even worse?  Do you really want to complain about not being at some stupid casino on time?"  I know that it's easy to do, and it's human nature, but I truly pray that I can keep from being a person who so quickly forgets.

We never know when our time may come.
I'm not going to tell you that I had one of those "life flashes before your eyes" moments.  And I didn't like get on the phone and profess my love to someone or sell everything I own and move to a beach somewhere.  But I was reminded that we never know when our time may come.  In light of this, we have to remember to say what we need to say, do what we want to do and live our lives while we have a chance.  Life is too short to live otherwise.  I snapped a quick photo of the plane with the busted engine as we pulled away from the runway as a little reminder of that. 

Maybe it can serve as one to you as well.