Throwback Thursday #50: Blue Eyes And The Bay Bridge

“Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.” ~Bill Watterson

I'm not a girl who gets scared very easily. I'm pretty tough. So when you read previously about the taxi ride in Rome and the bus ride in Baltimore, you know the situations were pretty bad. Well today, I am sharing the third of the three scariest moment of my life. And here we go.

So I had always wanted to live in Northern California at some point in my life. When I was applying for law schools, I got in at the University of the Pacific in Sacramento. They also offered to fly me out for an admitted student's day that they were having and to put me up in a hotel. Obviously I decided to go check it out, but I didn't really want to go alone. Enter to the story one of my best friends from high school, a guy we'll call Blue Eyes. (I was going to call him Old Blue Eyes, you know like Frank Sinatra? But since I'm 6 months older than him, I decided that adjective was unnecessary). Anyway, I asked if Blue Eyes wanted to join me for the weekend and the next thing I know we're on a plane.

Blue Eyes, being the supportive, awesome friend he is, went with me to the accepted applicants day. He sat through all of the presentations, sat in on a class, watched a moot court, and was a TOTAL hit. I think they were ready to pull the scholarship offer they made me and give it to Blue Eyes instead. Here was this adorable 22 year old guy who teaches kindergarten. I'm telling you guys.....he could have been the prom king at the University of the Pacific School of Law.

Well after the day was over about 4:00, we decided to go to San Francisco for the night. Blue Eyes had never been, and I am always game to go to my favorite city. We loaded up into the rental car and set off. Let me just tell you that the drive from Sacramento to San Francisco is completely beautiful! Vineyards and green farmland and everything good about northern California can bee seen on this short drive. Only complaint? I got carsick. Like real carsick. But, as you know from the Roman taxi post, this is nothing new.

We get to San Francisco about RUSH HOUR o'clock. There we are, along with like 5 million other people, on the Bay Bridge. Thank the Lord that Blue Eyes was driving. I was trying not to throw up or have a panic attack. We accidentally got in the wrong lane--you know the one for pike passes only and not money? Well considering there were 5 million people on that bridge, changing lanes was not an option, so we just ran it. I mean, we were in a rental car, so whatev. In the middle of all this, I say to Blue Eyes, "Promise me you won't get too drunk to drive us home, because I can't do it in this chaos!" (You see where this is going, right?)

We arrive at Fisherman's Wharf and stopped in at a blues bar to start the night. Well I make a beeline for the bathroom (I'm always proud when I can make it there before getting sick...you know, it's the little things in life) while Blue Eyes ordered something at the bar. I come out and see him knocking back a shot of Goldschlager. I didn't even know people actually drank that stuff, I thought it was just decoration. I realized then I better mentally prepare myself to drive us back to Sacramento.

Long story short (meaning our moms read this blog), the night ended at the Hard Rock where I had to literally try and carry Blue Eyes out to the car. Mind you, I'm 5'3 and this dude is probably 6'1. Because I was sick and unable to drink at all, I was the perfect choice to drive home.

Only Blue Eyes didn't want to go home....he wanted to go dancing. He asked everyone we passed on the way to the car where we should go for dancing. Broadway was the consensus. So we get in the car and he begs me to go dancing with him on Broadway. All I can think of is the two of us ending up either at some scary biker bar, or at a gay bar. And I'm just going to say it....Blue Eyes is really good looking. I did not want to have to fight off dudes to keep him safe. Call me a fun hater if you want, but I say that's friendship, y'all!

So I tell him that we can't find Broadway, and proceed to try and get us back on the Bay Bridge headed north. Driving in San Francisco is scary when it's daytime and you know where you are going. But at night, when it's dark, holy crap!

Blue Eyes wanted to be helpful, so he starts yelling out the window to everyone we saw, "Where's Broadway, where's Broadway?" Fortunately, no one was able to give us directions. (Two years later while living in SF, I ended up at one of those clubs on Broadway and had to call Blue Eyes. Looking back, we totally should have gone dancing!)

Finally, I make it onto the right highway for the Bay Bridge. My hands were seriously shaking I was so nervous. About this time, Blue Eyes decides to start calling people on the phone. He starts with the girl he had just started dating (and is now married to). She didn't answer. Shocking, since it's all of 3 am there. Then he called another high school friend of ours. He didn't answer. At this point, Blue Eyes is angry and rolls down the window to throw his phone out of it. I, whilst driving up the ramp to the Bay Bridge, manage to get the phone away from him. Somehow, he got my phone at this point, and called College Roomie's mother. She answered. (The irony of this is that a couple years later, they taught right across the hall from each other, and she gave him crap about this the whole year!)

Anyway, we are literally in the middle of the bridge when the next crisis occurs. Blue Eyes decides he has to pee and, again, rolls down the window. All I can picture is me having to call his mom from San Francisco county jail. I'm telling you, his mom is the sweetest lady, but you do NOT want her mad at you. I figured that a phone call from jail would probably cause mad to occur.

Anyway, Blue Eyes undoes his pants and I use my best "mom" voice and say, "BLUE EYES! You cannot pee out the window on the Bay Bridge!" (Sidenote: this was going to be the title of this blog, but after this post my mom said after this blog that using words like "pee" in a title is not ladylike). Somehow, I talked him down and convinced him he could hold it.

The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. Other than him scooting over to the middle seat and singing along with that James Blunt song "You're Beautiful" in my ear. Then he got real mad because I wasn't appreciative enough. He told me his mom cries when he sings it to her. I told him I was on the verge of tears....but didn't specify the reason. :)

To end the night, we stop at a convenience store once we got back to Sacramento to get him some gatorade for the morning. We get out of the car, I look over, and his pants are around his ankles in the parking lot. Apparently he forgot about re-dressing after trying to pee out the window before he got out of the car. Classic. By some miracle, we made it back to the hotel in one piece, fully clothed, without a criminal record.

So yes, it was so scary. I mean, simultaneously thinking you are going to crash a car and go to jail is stressful on a girl. But it is one of my favorite stories. It all culminates with a white envelope in my parents' mailbox. A ticket. With our picture on it. For not paying the bridge toll at 5:39 pm. My mom calls and says, "Did you and Blue Eyes do anything illegal in California?" My response, "How much do you know?"