My Heart Will Choose To Say...

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."

You know, sometimes life is just not that much fun. I know, I know....I write all the time about having a good attitude and living life to the fullest. And don't get me wrong, I'm totally a believer in those concepts. But even when you strive to live your life that way, sometimes it's just not that much fun.

Sometimes your job might really suck. Sometimes you just don't feel like getting out of your warm bed to go running, yet want to scream every time you step on a scale. Sometimes it feels like you're getting left behind while everyone else is figuring their lives out. Sometimes your dang football team loses a game they should have won in their sleep. And by "you" in this paragraph, I obviously mean "me."

That's pretty much how I've been feeling recently. And, as He usually does, God got my attention. Last weekend in church, we sang one of my favorite worship songs, Blessed Be Your Name.

I previously fell in love with the verse talking about praising God even when there is pain in the offering and when you're on a road marked with suffering after Mr. Franklin died. At that time, that was the words that I needed to hear. But last week, because the time was right for it, I heard a different part of the song.

"My heart will choose to say blessed be Your name." Choose. I liked this for two reasons.
First, because it says that it's okay--normal, maybe--for us to not automatically feel the way we ought to. We don't automatically have a grateful heart or see the glass half full. I struggle with this. For example, College Roomie and I were talking last week about "western world" problems---like when you're upset that you hit three red lights in a row or your house cleaning lady doesn't show up on time. I always feel guilty for being annoyed by this kind of thing because I know how good I have it. So I appreciate the reminder that our hearts are not always programmed to be as grateful as they should. Instead, it's a choice that we have to make. Knowing that takes some of the guilt away.

Second, I like that it's up to me to decide how I react to my situation. It's up to me to decide if in a rough patch, I will keep a good attitude, find the positive, and praise God for all of the blessings that I have and for whatever purpose he has for me in my current situation. I have control over this. It's similar to my prior realization about having an obligation to fight for joy.

And so after hearing this song in a different way than I had before, I was left to apply it to my life and I thought, "Well dang. I'm a disaster." I sure hadn't been thinking this way lately. I wasn't thinking about consciously chosing to be happy and optimistic and grateful. Instead I had been contemplating the name of my surfboard stand. God apparently thought I needed a reminder about the choice that I should be spending my time on. And so far, it's been working. Just as well. I hadn't come up with a killer name for my surf shop yet anyway.